The Registrar's Wedding Wish

by Lucy Clark

  ‘You feel it.’ He kissed one cheek. ‘I feel it.’ He kissed her other cheek. ‘Sometimes,’ he whispered against her mouth, ‘I’m powerless to fight it. Like now.’

  It wasn’t until his lips were pressed firmly against hers that she realised she’d been holding her breath. Annie sighed into the kiss, melting into him as his arm came around her waist, urging her closer. A raging fever burned her entire body and it had nothing to do with the virus. How could this be so…so…encompassing? All rational thought left her as she focused solely on the emotions Hayden’s touch evoked.

  Annie couldn’t get enough of him. He was like a drug and she was finally allowed to have her fix. She didn’t care that the craving wouldn’t go away, only that she could now have her fill of him.

  ‘Mmm,’ he groaned as he hauled her across and onto his lap without breaking contact. He plundered her mouth, wanting to know and feel her innermost secrets. She fitted perfectly into his arms, her warm body pressed firmly against his own, sending one shock wave after another through him.

  Up until now, up until this very moment, the kisses they’d shared had been merely appetisers. This…this was leading onto the main course and she was every bit as delicious as he’d fantasised. For hours he’d lain awake, wanting to kiss her gorgeous mouth in exactly this way. Now that he was actually in the middle of the experience, it was surpassing his dreams as she leaned into him, matching his enthusiasm.

  The thrumming reverberating in her ears was an echo of her fiercely pounding heartbeat and for a moment she knew instinctively that his heart was pounding the same, intense rhythm. It was as though they had been made for each other because never in her entire thirty-nine years, forty-nine weeks and five days had she ever felt this way when a man had kissed her.

  They both pulled back at the same time, gasping desperately for air. She gazed into his desire-filled blue eyes, knowing he was seeing the exact same emotion in her brown ones. After gulping in a breath, he urged her lips to his and there was no way she was going to argue.

  The onslaught continued, taking them both to new heights. A fire that started in one spread quickly to the other, neither wanting the flames to be doused, but fanned instead. Annie started trembling and Hayden’s hold on her increased.

  ‘Annie,’ he breathed a moment or two later as he pressed tender kisses across her cheek and down her neck.

  ‘I know,’ she murmured, understanding completely what he was saying. The emotions they were both feeling were far too intense for words. She tilted her head to allow him better access to her neck, the small kisses continuing to fuel the fire within. ‘Oh, Hayden. This is…I don’t know what it is.’

  He groaned again, memorising the taste of her skin on his lips. It was like the sweetest nectar in the world and one which was highly addictive. He could get used to kissing Annie Beresford on a regular basis. That thought alone was enough to jump-start his sluggish brain.

  ‘You’ll definitely have to marry me,’ she whispered near his ear as her teeth nipped lightly at his ear lobe.

  ‘What?’ Ignoring the goose-bumps which had just rippled down his neck, Hayden pushed her upright. He stared at her as though she had two heads. He cleared his throat, trying to calm the overwhelming urge to bolt. ‘This is another one of your jokes, right?’

  From somewhere she found the strength to move off his lap and sit beside him again. ‘What makes you think that? I do like you, Hayden—a lot. We may be compatible, mentally and physically, but emotionally we want different things out of life. I want to get married. I want to have children.’

  ‘To just anyone?’

  ‘No. If I’d wanted to marry just anyone, I’d have done so by now. No. I want the perfect man for me. My soul mate.’

  ‘Soul mates are a waste of time.’

  ‘Really? Have you asked your parents that?’

  ‘What do you know about my parents? You know nothing about them.’

  Annie didn’t take offence at his words and surprised him by smiling and cupping his cheek with her hand. There was nothing condescending or patronising in her touch, just tenderness. ‘They raised you to be the caring and thoughtful man you are.’ She paused and withdrew her hand.

  Hayden worked hard not to drag it back to his face. He wanted her to touch him. He wanted her to delve into his psyche and tell him everything was going to be all right but he was a big boy now and he knew that life didn’t always turn out the way you planned.

  ‘Listen, Hayden, all I’m saying is that you can’t kiss me with such overwhelming passion, holding nothing back and taking me to the spiralling heights of wonderment, just for fun! It messes with my heart and my mind.’

  Her words were said with a hint of self-preservation and that alone was enough to bring him back to reality with a thump. Hayden raked his fingers through his hair and stood. ‘Look, Annie, I didn’t mean for things to get out of hand. I was just trying to show that—’

  ‘I know what you were trying to show, Hayden, and I agree that things got a little out of control. In light of that and your sudden desire to escape as fast as you can, I suggest we don’t repeat the performance.’

  ‘Annie, you’re blowing this way out of proport—’

  She held up her hand to silence him and forced her body to respond to the signals her brain was sending. Slowly, she stood to face him. ‘You may think I’m being ultra-female and blowing this out of proportion, but that’s only according to your male sensibilities. You were right when you said we had a natural chemistry between us. We do, Hayden, but we both want completely different things out of life.’ She closed her eyes and looked down at the floor for a moment before meeting his gaze once more. ‘So, when we go to your sister’s wedding—no kissing. You of all people should know about self-preservation.’

  He stared at her, listening to what she was saying but unable to believe he was hearing it. She was truly like no other woman he’d ever met, and that included his sisters. Never had he met a woman who would rationalise her emotions so logically—probably the doctor in her. He appreciated her honesty.

  ‘Hayden?’

  ‘Yes.’ He took a step towards the door. ‘You’re right, Annie. I do know about self-preservation. I also know it isn’t my intention to break your heart.’

  ‘I know.’

  She smiled at him so sweetly, so knowledgeably that the urge to haul her into his arms and kiss her again almost overpowered him. Almost…

  ‘I need to go.’ It was a statement and one she didn’t refute. Instead, she calmly walked him to the door.

  ‘Thanks for looking after me, today—oh, and for the flowers.’

  Hayden nodded and was glad when the door to her apartment closed with him on the other side. He quickly went to his own apartment, trying to figure out why the wall he’d built around his heart so many years ago felt as though it was starting to crumble.

  ‘You’re not going there again.’ His words were stern and after collecting his briefcase where he’d left it just before he’d stopped by Annie’s apartment, he walked to his desk and sat down to do some work.

  It took a few minutes but thankfully his brain was willing to co-operate by pigeonholing all thoughts of Annie into a nice little compartment so he could concentrate on his work. Almost an hour later, the phone rang.

  ‘Professor Robinson,’ he answered.

  ‘Hayd.’

  There was only one person who called him that disgusting abbreviation of his name and that was Adam. ‘Hi, Adam.’

  ‘Sorry it’s taken me a few days to get back to you, cous.’

  ‘No problem. So how are things?’

  ‘Not bad, not bad at all. I started a new job a few months back and things are starting to look up.’

  ‘Are you still in the Geelong area?’

  ‘Ah, no. I’m around the coast in East Gippsland.’

  Hayden frowned. ‘What on earth are you doing there?’ They discussed Adam’s new job and the property he was thinking of buying. They discussed
the weather, the family and Hayden’s professorship.

  ‘You know I’m working at Geelong General hospital?’

  ‘Really? I thought you were based in Melbourne.’

  ‘No. Geelong.’ Hayden waited, hoping Adam might mention that he knew someone who worked there—namely Annie—but he didn’t.

  ‘Like it?’

  ‘Yeah. It’s quite good. The staff I’m working with are really great, especially my registrars.’ Come on, Adam. Mention her.

  ‘What do you specialise in again?’

  ‘Orthopaedics.’ This was it, Hayden thought. He’d be bound to mention Annie now.

  ‘Oh, that’s right,’ was all Adam said, but the tone of his voice had changed to one of avoidance.

  Hayden wanted to know about his relationship with Annie yet at the same time he didn’t. Just the thought of Annie with Adam was enough to turn his stomach.

  There was an uncomfortable pause while Hayden mentally searched for a topic. ‘Did you hear Rowena’s getting married?’

  ‘Yeah, my mum forwarded the wedding invitation. Stupid move on Ro’s part.’

  ‘Well, she doesn’t seem to think so.’

  ‘I haven’t seen Ro in years. How old is she now?’

  ‘Twenty-seven.’

  ‘Wow. Last I saw of her, she had braces and acne.’

  Hayden laughed. ‘Seems like yesterday and now she’s getting married.’ He shook his head and rubbed his fingers through his hair. Leaning back in his chair, he hoped his next question came out with the required amount of nonchalance. ‘Are you coming to the wedding?’

  ‘Can’t make it. I’m going to send her a reply tomorrow to let her know.’

  ‘That’s too bad. It would have been good to catch up in person.’

  ‘Yeah. Listen, Hayd. I have to go. Duty calls.’

  ‘Sure. Good to talk to you.’ Hayden rang off, feeling more frustrated than he had before the call. He rested his elbows on the desk and buried his face in his hands. He felt…plagued by thoughts of Annie. During the day, when he went to sleep and now, after kissing her so completely, so passionately, it was getting worse.

  He massaged his temples, trying to figure out what on earth he should do. He’d asked her to Rowena’s wedding. He had to spend the weekend with her and not kiss her. He could do that. He was strong.

  The wedding was two weeks away and until then he was determined to keep as far away from Annie as possible. She’d been right. It was the only way to ensure self-preservation.

  Annie almost crawled up the walls on Friday and Saturday because of her imposed leave from the hospital. She read a book, watched television, went for runs, but nothing took her mind off Hayden for long.

  By Saturday afternoon she’d had enough and caught a taxi to Natasha’s house. Spending time with the Worthington kids helped to distract her—at least for a short time. She stayed for dinner and once the children were in bed, she sat down to talk with Brenton and Natasha.

  ‘So…can we ask you about Hayden?’ Brenton queried with a knowing grin after they’d had coffee.

  Annie pointedly looked at her watch. ‘Gee, is that the time? I’d better be getting home.’

  Her friends laughed. ‘Leave her alone, Brenton,’ Natasha chided. ‘Annie knows we’re here to listen or discuss things but only when she’s ready.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  Natasha leaned forward in her chair, her smile anxious. ‘Ready?’

  Annie laughed. ‘Not yet.’

  ‘That means something’s happened.’ Brenton rubbed his hands together delightedly. ‘I’d just like to say right here and now that I think he’s perfect for you.’

  ‘You hardly know him,’ she countered, not that bothered by the good-natured teasing.

  ‘Our paths have crossed several times since he started working at the hospital on Monday. All I’m saying is that so far I like what I see.’

  ‘And what’s that?’

  ‘He appears to be a man of integrity, high calibre and good taste. After all, my dear friend, if he’s interested in you, he’s showing good taste.’

  Tears welled in Annie’s eyes. ‘Thank you.’ She sighed and slumped back into the chair. ‘I just don’t want to get hurt again…and neither does he.’

  ‘You said he’d been married before,’ Natasha commented.

  ‘I also said I didn’t want to discuss it,’ Annie reminded them with a smile. She had questions of her own. Questions about his marriage, but more questions about his daughter. How had she died? Had there been an accident? Four weeks old. Even to think about it broke her heart. It was no wonder Hayden had blocked himself off from ever going there again. She forced herself to focus on what her friends were saying.

  ‘OK. We’ll change the subject. Did Lily tell you she’s got a real gig playing her guitar in an amateur musical group?’

  Annie’s sigh was heartfelt. ‘Yes, she did mention it. I’m so proud of her.’ The conversation continued on neutral topics until it was really time for her to leave. On the way home, she stopped by the shops and picked up the ingredients for a hot toddy.

  It was almost eleven o’clock when Annie put the shopping bags down to unlock her apartment door. When the stairwell door opened, she knew instinctively it was Hayden. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled with apprehension, wondering how this meeting would go. She turned to face him.

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘Just getting home from the hospital?’ He looked awful, she thought.

  ‘Yes. You’ve been out?’

  ‘Dinner with the Worthingtons.’

  He nodded. ‘Hope you had a good time.’ He paused by his apartment door and looked at her. ‘Feeling better?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Really? You look washed out.’

  She smiled tiredly. ‘You’re so full of compliments.’ She paused, not wanting him to be unduly worried about her. ‘I’m over the stomach virus, if that’s your concern.’

  ‘But you haven’t been sleeping,’ he added.

  ‘No.’ She looked away, not wanting him to realise he was the reason why she hadn’t been sleeping.

  ‘Me neither.’ The words were said so softly that for a moment she thought she’d imagined it. She glanced up at his face and saw the anguish there. She knew that anguish because it matched her own.

  She unlocked her door. ‘We have to get past this, Hayden.’

  ‘You’re right.’

  ‘I’m going to make a hot toddy and actually get some sleep tonight.’

  ‘Good for you.’ He smiled.

  Annie hesitated for a moment. ‘Would you like to join me?’ At the look of desire that briefly flashed in his eyes she quickly added, ‘You look as though you could use a good night’s sleep as well. Just a drink, Hayden, but I understand if you’d rather not.’

  ‘That’s just the problem, Annie.’ He took a step towards her. ‘I’d like nothing more than to join you.’

  ‘Surely we can control ourselves? We’re both adults and we have to get past this,’ she said again.

  Hayden took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. ‘OK. A drink and we’ll stick to neutral topics.’

  ‘Good idea.’ She opened the door and picked up her shopping bags. Hayden left his briefcase just inside her door and followed her through to the kitchen. They worked together in harmony and soon were sitting down, Annie on the sofa, Hayden in the chair, with the coffee-table between them, sipping the warm drink.

  ‘This is nice,’ he said after a few mouthfuls.

  ‘Tastes great.’

  ‘I meant you and I.’

  ‘Oh.’ Annie bit her lip at the misunderstanding, immediately thinking that her reply could also apply to them. Hayden did taste great. ‘Yes. Yes it is.’

  ‘We can do this, Annie.’ He took another sip and relaxed back in the chair. ‘We can be friends.’

  ‘Of course we can,’ she agreed. Even as she said the words, she hoped rather than knew they were true. As they’d ag
reed, they talked on neutral topics and were surprised to find many common opinions.

  As he was leaving some time later, at the door he picked up his briefcase and looked down at her. ‘Thanks. This was good.’

  ‘It was.’

  Silence hung in the air and awkwardness started to stretch between them. If he took one step forward, it would be nothing for her to stand on tiptoe and press her mouth to his. Instead, Hayden forced his smile to stay in place and took one step backwards.

  ‘Hope you sleep well, Annie.’ His tone was soft and endearing.

  ‘You, too.’ She ignored the tingles, the flood of longing and need that ripped through her. As soon as he stepped out of her doorway, she shut the door. The muted noises that came through the walls settled her a little and only when all was quiet next door did she close her eyes to try and sleep.

  As Hayden lay in bed, he laced his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. A smile tugged at his lips and he realised he was insanely pleased that she’d got rid of Adam’s photograph from her love-heart frame. The Worthington family in that frame he could definitely cope with. Taking in a deep breath, he felt himself relax.

  CHAPTER SIX

  FOR the next week, Annie only saw Hayden when necessary. Although they smiled at each other, treated each other like they did every other member of staff, they were both lying to themselves.

  On Monday, they reviewed Mr Andersen together in the clinic, with Annie escorting their elderly patient out so she wouldn’t have to stay and make idle chit-chat with Hayden.

  ‘How can we possibly be…be…friends when I feel so much more?’ she asked her reflection two days before she was supposed to accompany him to his sister’s wedding. He hadn’t sought her out, hadn’t said anything more about the wedding or whether or not he still wanted her to go with him.

  The only way she’d slept had been to run herself ragged during the day. Expending all her energy had become a form of self-preservation in itself.