The Registrar's Wedding Wish

by Lucy Clark

  Once the fracture had been stabilised on the anterior side, the posterior approach was next. Hayden made another incision approximately sixteen centimetres along the proximal side of the femur toward the greater trochanter, angling slightly posteriorly to the iliac crest.

  They fixed the fracture with one posterior interfragmentary screw and a small pelvic reconstruction plate.

  ‘Check X-ray, then close.’ He stepped away from the table as the portable X-ray machine was wheeled over. He much preferred the large hospitals where everything was on hand—the staff, the equipment. He thought about the surgery they’d performed in Bright yesterday—it seemed so long ago—and he had to admit he’d been a little worried about whether they’d be able to save the leg or not. Thankfully, they’d had a positive ending.

  Hayden glanced at Annie. She was happy today. Smiling, laughing—the way she’d been on Saturday. Saturday—her birthday. She’d made him promise not to tell his mother or his sisters that it had been her birthday because she hadn’t wanted any fuss made.

  ‘It’s Rowena’s day,’ she’d told him firmly.

  He watched her now, on the other side of the room, talking with the theatre sister, and the primal urge to stalk over there, rip off her mask and press his lips to hers was extremely hard to control. That would definitely get the tongues wagging in the hospital, but as quickly as the impulse came he squashed it.

  Annie wanted marriage. Not only marriage but marriage and children. He shook his head. Dating her would have so many benefits—short-term benefits—but in the end he’d break her heart, and probably his own in the process.

  He could feel himself falling for her—bigger, brighter and far better than anything he’d ever felt for Lonnie. Lonnie had been a mere infatuation compared to Annie. She was the real thing. If he left now, they’d both be in one piece, able to survive. If he dated her and then left…He shuddered. It wasn’t worth contemplating.

  ‘X-rays are ready, Hayden.’

  He shoved his thoughts of Annie out of his mind again, determined she would stay there until the end of this operation. ‘On screen.’ He peered at the fracture sites and, well pleased with his handiwork, announced it was time to close. It would take at least half an hour to close in layers and then staple the large incisions but then he would be free of Annie for the rest of the day.

  After the theatre session with Mr Bouchard, Annie finished off some paperwork, did a quick ward round and, as it was now almost eight o’clock in the evening, decided to head home. She packed some work to take with her, and as she came to the end of the ward, she looked down the corridor to where Hayden’s office was situated.

  Was he there?

  Knowing they needed to talk, she headed towards his office. She knew, even before she reached his door, that he would be in there. Of course he would be—he was avoiding her. She knocked and, without waiting for an answer, walked in. He looked up from the paperwork he was doing.

  ‘I knew I’d find you here.’ She smiled brightly, noting the look of pleasure, then pain, that quickly filtered across his face before being replaced by a non-emotional mask. ‘Doesn’t it seem like an age since we were in Sydney, rather than just yesterday?’

  ‘Yes,’ was all the reply she received. He put his pen down and leaned back in his chair. ‘Something wrong?’

  ‘With the patients? No, everything’s fine.’ She put her briefcase and handbag on the floor and sat in the chair opposite his desk.

  ‘What’s on your mind?’ He stretched his arms up and twisted his shoulders.

  ‘You.’

  He stopped still before dropping his arms and getting to his feet. He started to pace the room and Annie tried to hide her smile. He was so adorable when he was agitated.

  ‘Annie…’ He stopped on the other side of the room and looked at her.

  ‘Hayden.’

  He raked a hand through his hair and exhaled deeply. ‘This isn’t going to work.’

  ‘What?’ she asked innocently, knowing all along exactly what he was referring to.

  ‘Us. Dating. Seeing each other.’

  ‘And why not? Aren’t you attracted to me?’

  ‘You know I am. That’s part of the problem.’

  Annie stood and walked towards him, slowly but with a firmness in her step. She stood before him and placed one hand on her heart and one on his. He was warm and alive beneath her touch and a shiver of anticipation burst through her. ‘Feel. Feel what you do to me. Feel what I do to you. This can’t be wrong, Hayden, because it feels so right. It is so right. I know this because…’ This was her moment of truth. She knew how he would react but she also knew that she had to tell him. ‘Because I’ve fallen in love with you.’

  Hayden didn’t move.

  His gaze was transfixed with hers and in that instant she felt the most complete connection with him. Slowly she placed her other hand on his chest before sliding both up and over his gorgeous broad shoulders. He was tense and she couldn’t blame him. Still, she could no more stop what she was doing now than she could stop falling in love with him.

  Taking a small step, bringing their bodies into contact, she slid her hands around his neck, urging his head closer.

  ‘Can’t you feel my heart beating wildly?’ she whispered. ‘It beats for you and you alone, Hayden.’

  His gaze flicked between her eyes and her mouth, reading the message of love in her brown depths and wanting the feel of her luscious pink lips on his own. He couldn’t believe it. Annie loved him. The knowledge was enough to make him want to whoop for joy, as well as run as fast as he could in the opposite direction.

  He swallowed roughly and almost crumpled to the floor when she pressed her lips to his neck. Groaning with desire, Hayden dragged her body close, wrapping his arms about her.

  ‘Annie.’ Her name was thick with repressed passion and she loved the way it sounded coming from his lips. Turning her head, their lips met as though programmed to find each other under any circumstances.

  Annie put everything she felt, everything from the depths of her soul into the kiss to show him just how much he had come to mean to her during the past few weeks. If he doubted her verbal declaration of love, surely this must convince him she was sincere.

  He wanted her. His possessive mouth moved over hers, taking from her everything she was willing to give. He was selfish, he knew it, but he also knew he couldn’t help it. Annie was special. She was an incredible woman and one, he was sure, he would never grow tired of…and therein lay the problem.

  A few ragged moments later Hayden forced his mouth from hers.

  ‘Hayden?’

  ‘Shh.’ Both were breathing hard. ‘Just let me hold you.’ Although that was his intention, her scent wound itself about him, making his head feel as though it were full of cotton wool. He was incapable of coherent thought where it pertained to Annie and how perfect she felt in his arms. He kissed her neck, her cheeks, her eyelids and finally her mouth once more, unable to resist her allurements.

  He groaned again and with superhuman effort gently put her from him, his lips still pressed on hers until the arms’ length distance was too far for him to physically continue to kiss her.

  ‘We can’t.’

  ‘Hmm?’ Annie gazed up at him, her eyes filled with love. Why hadn’t he seen it before? He should never have taken her to Sydney with him…But he’d been unable to control the need to have her close, just as he’d been unable to stop himself from kissing her just now.

  ‘We can’t,’ he said more forcefully, and walked back to his desk. ‘Can’t you see? I’d break your heart.’

  ‘It’s too late, Hayden.’

  Guilt swamped him.

  ‘It’s also not your fault,’ she replied. She took a deep breath and forced her legs to work. Putting one foot in front of the other, she walked back to the chair opposite his desk and sat. It was either that or fall down in a heap on the floor. Then again, wouldn’t that require him to help her up? He was her knight in shining ar
mour after all. It would also be another excuse to have his arms around her. She giggled, dismayed with herself for not being a practised damsel in distress.

  ‘I’m a grown woman and I choose who I give my heart to. I love you. There’s no two ways about it and I will love you for the rest of my life.’

  ‘But you want to get married!’ His tone was insistent. ‘Have children!’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘Marriage isn’t me, Annie. I’ve been there. I’ve tried it and I’ve failed. My actions, my whole being was responsible for ruining three people’s lives. Mine, Lonnie’s and my daughter’s. I won’t be held responsible for ruining yours as well.’

  ‘So this is the reason you won’t date me,’ she stated logically. ‘Because I want to get married and you think you’ll ruin my life.’

  ‘Yes. Annie I’m sor—’

  She held up her hand. ‘No, don’t. Please, don’t.’ After taking a deep, cleansing breath, she stood, glad her body was co-operating. She picked up her briefcase and handbag before walking around his desk and standing on tiptoe. ‘Goodbye, Hayden.’ She pressed a brief kiss on his lips then turned and walked out the door.

  It was over.

  CHAPTER TEN

  HAYDEN had rostered Annie on call for nights, probably thinking it would make life easier for both of them. In some ways it did as she threw herself into her work, but when she saw him in clinics and ward rounds it was like having a little glimpse of paradise.

  ‘It’s like wanting a calorie-filled piece of cake, knowing you’re going to get indigestion from it and then living with it on your hips for the rest of your life. And for what?’ she asked Natasha and Katrina.

  ‘For love!’ both women replied.

  It had been a whole week since the scene in Hayden’s office and Katrina, who had called Annie several times on her return to Melbourne, decided she needed ‘cake’ therapy. Annie happened to mention this to Natasha who’d completely agreed, and so her two friends had kidnapped her, forcing her to spend the day with them at Acland Street in Melbourne which was renowned for its amazing cakes.

  Annie took a sip of her coffee and pushed the irresistible mud cake away.

  ‘He’s hardly sleeping.’ Katrina informed her, pushing the plate back in front of her. ‘He’s so torn apart, Annie, it’s killing him.’

  Annie looked at one friend, then the other through shimmering tears. ‘I miss him.’

  ‘Of course you do.’ Natasha squeezed her hand reassuringly.

  Annie sniffed and dug around in her bag for a tissue. ‘It hit me when I saw him yesterday. He was talking to Brenton and the two of them were laughing, and I was so happy that he was getting to know the people I consider family and also the fact that they like him and it hurts so much. I just wanted to throw myself into his arms and tell him to accept fate.’

  ‘He probably would have appreciated it.’ Katrina laughed. ‘He’s being sanctimonious and stubborn. He’s also deluding himself if he thinks his love for you is going to disappear simply because he doesn’t see you.’

  ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder,’ Natasha recited.

  Annie blew her nose and had more of her cake, savouring the taste. ‘I need to talk to him again.’

  ‘And say what?’

  Annie closed her eyes and shook her head. ‘Good question.’ She sighed dejectedly. ‘It’s just that I don’t think he’s made the right decision. Not for me, not for him.’

  ‘So?’ Natasha asked. ‘What are you going to do about it?’

  Annie straighted in her chair and lifted her chin defiantly. ‘I’m going to fight for him.’

  ‘Atta girl.’

  ‘I’m going to ask him out on a date and show him that we belong together. I know he’s worried he’s going to mess up my life, the way he thinks he messed up in the past, but I need to convince him he’s wrong.’

  ‘He won’t be able to resist you.’ Katrina leaned forward in her chair, a bright grin on her face. ‘Where are you going to take him? Secluded restaurant? Ooh, I know, a walk along the beach at sunset. How romantic.’

  ‘You could cook dinner for him in your apartment,’ Natasha suggested.

  ‘Yes, nice and intimate.’ Katrina nodded her approval.

  Annie shook her head. ‘I know exactly where I’m going to take him.’

  ‘Where?’ they both asked.

  ‘To the pool hall.’

  ‘What?’ Katrina was appalled. Natasha just laughed.

  Annie didn’t care. Her brain was working nine to the dozen, going over everything she’d need to do. ‘I just can’t do it while I’m working nights. How am I going to convince Wesley to swap a shift with me?’

  ‘Please, Wesley?’ Annie begged the next day. She’d stayed longer at the hospital specifically to catch up with her colleague. ‘It’s just one shift. One little night duty, that’s all.’ Remembering the hospital grapevine already had herself and Hayden paired off as a couple, she continued, ‘It’s been so hard lately, what with me doing nights. Hayden and I have hardly seen each other.’

  ‘Talk to him. He’s the one who draws up the rosters.’

  ‘I know, but someone has to do nights and he can’t show favouritism just because we’re going out. He wants to be fair.’

  Wesley thought this over for a long minute. ‘I want double the usual payment you give to everyone else.’

  ‘Payment?’ Annie frowned and then realisation dawned. ‘Chocolate frogs? Sure. You can even have triple if you like.’

  ‘Deal.’ Wesley held out his hand and they shook on it.

  ‘Thank you. I’ll go and get the payment right now.’ Just in case he changed his mind, she thought as she rushed to the small shop, determined to buy all the chocolate frogs in stock.

  She’d just finished paying for one large box of fifty chocky frogs when she turned and collided with Hayden. His arms came about her and her breath caught in her throat. She gazed up into his eyes, drowning in the beautiful blue depths, unable to break away.

  Hayden seemed affected by their natural chemistry as well. Was that her heart beating out such a wild tattooing rhythm or was it his? Annie couldn’t tell. She wanted nothing more than for him to haul her into his arms and place his mouth possessively over her own. She forced herself to look away and it was then she realised they were the centre of attention of most of the staff in the small shop.

  Hayden must have realised it, too, because he took a step away and forced a smile. ‘I’m surprised to see you still here. I thought you’d be tucked up in bed by now.’ Why on earth had he said that? It was the thought of Annie in her bed that kept him awake most nights. He searched earnestly for something else to say. It was then he noted the box of chocolate frogs.

  ‘Stocking up?’

  ‘Huh?’

  He pointed to the box.

  ‘Oh, no. Payment for…a favour.’

  ‘Must be a big favour.’

  She nodded slowly. ‘It was…is. Listen, Hayden, are you free tomorrow night?’ She knew he wasn’t working because she’d checked the roster. Wednesday night was free all around, especially as Wesley had agreed to do her on-call duty!

  ‘Uh…’ He hesitated, not sure what to say.

  ‘Just a game of pool. That’s all.’ She tried not to sigh with longing as she breathed in his scent over and over again. ‘I haven’t seen you there lately.’

  ‘I’ve been busy.’

  ‘Oh.’ Probably avoiding her at all costs. She decided to get out of there before he could officially turn her down. ‘So I’ll see you there. Around eight? Good. I have to run.’ She forced her legs to move away from him, smiling brightly as she left. ‘Catch you later.’ With that, she quickly delivered her payment to Wesley who was suitably impressed with the number of frogs.

  ‘You’re really serious about this guy, aren’t you?’

  ‘Yes.’ Annie shrugged. ‘I’m in love with him.’

  Wesley nodded. ‘I hope it works out.’

  Annie was s
urprised by his sincerity. ‘Thanks. Well, I’d better go get some sleep.’

  She left Wesley’s office, which was smaller than hers, and almost ran the entire way home.

  On Wednesday she felt renewed with energy and purpose. Tonight she would be with Hayden. First, though, she had to get through a day of clinics and meetings because she’d swapped shifts with Wesley.

  In the hour she had between the end of her night-shift and the beginning of her day-shift, Annie raced home to shower and change. She dressed with care in one of her lightweight summer suits, turned her nose up at the curls she could do nothing to tame and brushed her teeth twice, to make sure they would be nice and bright when she smiled at him.

  She practised those smiles in the mirror for a few seconds before closing her eyes and shaking her head. She opened them again and stared at her reflection.

  ‘What are you doing?’ she whispered. The answer was, she had no idea. She wanted to talk to Hayden, to try and show him that things would be different between the two of them than they had been between him and his ex-wife.

  She knew this for a fact. She’d had countless relationships and each one had failed. Still, she’d been willing to go another round and this time she’d hit the jackpot. Even though she was sure he didn’t want to hear what she had to say, she needed to say it—for her own piece of mind.

  She glanced at her watch and realised with a start that if she didn’t hustle, she was going to be late.

  When she walked onto the ward just before the round began, she felt butterflies whizzing around her stomach. When Hayden raised his eyebrows momentarily, acknowledging her presence, the butterflies zoomed into overdrive and for a second Annie actually thought she was going to vomit.

  The round proceeded without dramas. Mr Bouchard was out of CCU and would be in traction for the next few weeks. The physiotherapists were happy with his progress and everything looked rosy. Afterwards she headed to her office and caught up on some paperwork before going to Theatre to do the elective list.