Number Neighbors

by Hart, Emma

  “That’s why I’m wearing leather pants, darling,” Lil replied. “Absolute bitch to get on and off. That’s me controlling myself.”

  “That’s not the point.” Hannah put her hands on her hips. “Finish your drinks. We’re leaving before you do something crazy.”

  “Who died and made you the boss?” Kathleen sniffed.

  “Ask Grandma. She was reading the obituaries this morning after all.”

  My lips quirked. That was a strange little habit she had, but it fit her. And aside from using it to torture her granddaughters about her age, I imagined it was an efficient way of updating her phonebook.

  If she actually had a phonebook.

  I wouldn’t put it past her not to have one.

  “Who died and made her boss?” Kathleen asked Jen.

  “God knows, but I want to speak to the HR department. She’s awful.”

  Hannah huffed. “That’s it. We’re going. Or I’m calling the police and having you pre-emptively put in jail.”

  “They don’t do that, dear,” Lil said, eyes still on the TV. “Too expensive apparently. You pay all these taxes and they won’t lock anyone up to stop them causing trouble.”

  “The irony of that statement does not escape me,” Hannah said tightly. “Come on. Let’s go. Now.”

  “I’ll help you take them home.” I finished the last of my beer and put the bottle down. “I’ve only had that one.”

  Relief flashed in her eyes.

  “He’s taking me!” Jen said, standing up with her cane. “Let’s go, hot stuff!”

  “Wouldn’t it make more sense for Mason to take you home? Considering you live next door to him?” Hannah asked Jen.

  “Can’t, sorry.” Mason did as I had and finished the beer. “I promised Immy I’d stop in and see if she needed help. She’s all yours, man.” He clapped me on the shoulder. “Ladies. Behave yourselves.”

  “Never,” Evelyn chirped happily.

  They all finished their drinks, and Jen latched herself onto my arm. “I’ve never slept with a Brit, you know.”

  “Don’t be offended by this, but I’m a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation.”

  “I have,” Lil said breezily. “Fabulous lovers.”

  Hannah’s cheeks burned. “Out. Now. Before you go too far.”

  This wasn’t too far?

  Jesus. I didn’t want to know what happened when they crossed the line.

  I guided Jen out of the door while Mason helped Hannah corral the other three old ladies into her car. When they were in the back and the child locks were in place—something Jen cackled about for a good few minutes—we waved goodbye to Mason and headed out of the parking lot.

  “Take a left,” Jen said. “So, you’re dating my granddaughter.”

  I should have known this was coming.

  “We had a date.” I made the turn. “That doesn’t constitute dating as far as I’m aware.”

  “It does now. I make the rules.”

  “Okay, fine. I’m dating your granddaughter. A right here?”

  “The next intersection,” she replied. “I want to know about you. Size you up a little bit. I already know you’re good with power tools.”

  Was that euphemism? I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t going to put anything past this woman.

  “I spent all my summers on my grandparents’ farm,” I told her, turning right. “I didn’t have much of a choice but to learn how to use them.”

  “Seems reasonable. I have a bookshelf I want to buy. Will you put it up for me?”

  “Why do I feel like this is some kind of test?”

  “Mason already told me no. I told him there was cheesecake on offer. Do you like cheesecake, Isaac?”

  “I won’t turn it down,” I said slowly.

  “I make it. I’m a good baker. You build my shelves and I’ll make you whatever cheesecake you like.”

  “Is this how you get your own way for everything?”

  “With everyone but my granddaughters,” she said brightly. “But I don’t like them much, so I don’t really care.”

  I snorted back a laugh. “Fair enough. Do they know that?”

  “I tell them regularly so they should. Either that or they’re dumber than I thought.”

  “Do you just say whatever comes into your head without regard for the consequences?”

  “Honey, I’ve paid my politeness dues. Now I’m old I can say whatever the fuck I want.”

  “I could deal with that philosophy,” I replied, pulling up in front of the house she pointed to. “I could deal with that now, and I’m not thirty yet.”

  “Oh, you can do it now. The secret is not giving a shit about what anyone else thinks.” She winked and pushed open the door.

  I darted out to help her. She pretended to fan herself and I laughed as I helped her up to the front door. Jen unlocked it and held up a finger for me to wait.

  Two minutes later, she came out with a slice of chocolate cake on a plate covered in clear wrap. “This is yours.”

  “Did you make it?”

  She nodded once. “Don’t think I’m doing this because you brought me home. I’m actually not happy about that at all.” She winked again. “But I am trying to bribe you into the bookshelf.”

  “Duly noted, ma’am.” I grinned. “I’ll bring this back tomorrow for you.”

  She tapped the side of her nose with an exaggerated smile and shut the door in my face.

  Of course.

  That woman was an enigma.

  CHAPTER TWELVE – HANNAH

  The Night Before The Morning After

  “No, Lil. If you leave your house tonight, I’m going to lose my mind.”

  The leather pants clad pensioner got out of my car with a sigh. “You used to be fun. What happened to you? Is it that British boy? He’s a cutie.”

  “Goodnight, Lil,” I drawled. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Ooh, do you know if my paint is in the store yet?”

  “Being delivered before noon. Come in in the afternoon for it.” I smiled. Despite the fact my grandmother and all her friends drove me crazy, I had a soft spot for Lil. She was a little crazy and a little wild, but she had the best stories known to mankind.

  I wasn’t sure they were all true, but it sure was fun hearing about them.

  That said, I’d had my fill for tonight.

  Lil was my last drop-off, and I was glad to turn off the radio and dial Immy’s number for the call to connect through Bluetooth before I pulled away.

  “Hey, what’s up?” she answered.

  “Did Mason tell you that the book club crashed the sports bar?”

  “Mmm,” she replied. “Hold on, let me put you on speaker. I’m sorting the canvases.” Crashes and clunks and an “oh, shit!” came down the line before there was a moment of silence. “Sorry about that. The canvases are rioting.”

  “Why? Have they gone all Toy Story on you?”

  “May as well have. Did the book club behave themselves?”

  “Only because we were there!” Mason yelled from somewhere on the other side.

  “Basically,” I replied, hitting the blinker before I made a turn. “How did they even get to the bar?”

  Immy sighed. “They asked me to take them to Bingo before I came here, and I said sure, I’d pick them up when the night was over at nine. I guess they played a round and went to the bar after.”

  “Yeah, but how? There’s no way they walked.”

  “Called a cab, I guess. I don’t know. I’ll speak to Johnny and make sure his guys know to call me if Grandma calls and wants to go to a bar again.”

  “Not a bad idea.”

  “Where is Grandma, anyway? Did you drop her off already?”

  “No, Isaac took her.” I turned onto my street. “She clamped onto him like a limpet and that was the end of that.”

  “Sounds about right. I bet she’s bullied him into putting up the bookshelf I won’t go and take her to buy.”

  “Proba
bly. Hey, he’s sitting on my porch. Give me a minute and I’ll—he’s eating Grandma’s cake.” I sighed and rolled down my window. “Is that Grandma’s?” I called.

  “Yep,” Isaac called back. “Why? Do you want some?”

  “How likely are you to build her shelves for her?”

  “If her cheesecake is as good as this, guaranteed.”

  “Yep, she bribed him,” I said into the phone. “Anyway, the book club are all home, and so am I. I can do some of that stuff in the morning if you want me to.”

  “We should get the worst of it done, but I’ll text you. Now go have sex with Isaac.”

  “Immy! Shut—” The line cut out before I was done telling her to shut the fuck up.

  Oh, my God.

  I grabbed my phone and keys and got out of the car before anything else went wrong. “Did you hear that?”

  Isaac grinned as I was walking up the path. “Yep. I agree with her, for what it’s worth.”

  “Of course you do.” I rolled my eyes and put the key in the front door. “Is that chocolate fudge?”

  “Uh-huh. You want some?”

  “Depends. Is there a price?”

  “There wasn’t going to be, but I can arrange it.”

  “Shut up,” I muttered, letting myself inside. I left the door open for Isaac to follow me because I knew he would.

  I was right.

  He brought himself and the remainder of the cake inside, shutting the door behind him. Our entrance must have disturbed Lucifer, because he was lying on his bed eyeing us with a disdain only a cat could hold.

  It was pretty impressive, to be honest.

  If I came back in another life, I hoped it would be as a cat.

  I still wasn’t sure if I was a cat person, but I could live as one. Totally. All that sleep was the stuff of dreams, wasn’t it?

  I put my things down on the island and bent down to scratch Lucifer behind the ears. He lifted his head and let out a tiny purr, closing his eyes as I moved my nails against his fur.

  “Still not your cat?” Isaac asked, grinning.

  I looked over at him and smirked. “You have a little chocolate on your face.” I tapped my left cheek, just to the side of my mouth. “Just there.”

  He wiped his face, getting the chocolate sauce off. “Did I get it?”

  I nodded, standing up. “Is there any left? That’s the best cake Grandma makes. She never gives me any unless I do something for her. She’s a real exploiter.”

  “Why do you think she gave me this? She wants me to build her bookshelf and she promised me cheesecake. This thing is a gateway drug.” He put the plate on the island. “Bloody hell. She’s got me.”

  “And that’s how she does it.” I sighed and opened the fridge. “Beer?”

  “Sure. It’s been a long day.”

  I pulled out both a bottle of beer and the bottle of wine from last night. After pouring myself some wine, I uncapped Isaac’s beer and passed it over to him.

  “Thanks. Wanna finish that cake?” He raised his eyebrows and wiggled them.

  I fought a laugh. “No, it’s fine. You go ahead. She’ll need more dust jackets for her dirty books from eBay soon enough.”

  “What?”

  “They cover their smut with dust jackets from eBay. She makes me buy them classic jackets so they can read it in public.” I almost rolled my eyes. “None of them can use eBay. They can barely dial a number on their phones.”

  Isaac snorted and pushed the plate to me. “Go ahead. Really. She’s making me a cheesecake, and I did interrupt your night to come and make sure they went home.”

  “It’s not like I was doing anything important,” I replied. “I was just watching Netflix with no bra.”

  His gaze dropped to my chest. Where I still was not wearing a bra.

  I cleared my throat.

  He jerked his attention back up to my eyes. “Take the cake, Hannah.”

  “All right. If you insist.” I took the plate and grabbed a clean fork, then dove in to the third of the slice that he’d left. The cake melted in my mouth, the rich chocolatey goodness exploding with flavor. “OhmyGodsogood,” I moaned.

  He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked at the floor. “Please do not moan like that while you’re not wearing a bra. It’s highly uncomfortable for me.”

  I closed my mouth around the fork. Ah. I could understand how that might be problematic for him.

  So naturally I did the sensible thing: moaned.

  Deliberately.

  Loudly.

  “Stop it,” he ground out. “You’re doing it deliberately.”

  “Me? No.” I grinned and stabbed the fork into the cake again. “I would never.”

  He stared at me flatly and swigged his beer. “A couple of days ago, I would have believed that, but you’re feisty tonight.”

  “Feisty? How am I feisty?”

  Another long stare.

  “All right, fine. A little. The oldies rile me up,” I admitted, putting the fork down. “They know better than go prancing around bars. It’s worse that they lied about it before. It’s like controlling teenagers and stopping them drinking cheap booze in a park.”

  He tilted his head to the side. “Been there. The teenager, that is. We used to get people to buy us these big ass bottles of cheap cider that were like two-pounds-fifty for two liters and we’d be hammered by nine p.m. When we were fifteen, my friend’s girlfriend threw up in front of police officers. We had to tell them she was ill.”

  “Fifteen? You were out drinking at fifteen?”

  “There was nothing else to do.” He shrugged, putting his beer down. “It’s legal to drink at eighteen, don’t forget. It’s like sex. It’s weird here that people are so freaked out about kids having sex at fifteen, but it’s pretty normal back home because the legal age is sixteen.”

  “Wow. Does anyone follow the law there?”

  “No. The entirety of England is a lawless Anglo-Saxon settlement where we haul our brides off over our shoulders to our caves in the Yorkshire Dales and eat pigs that have been fed the finest artificial grass.”

  I blinked at him. “I have no idea what you just said.”

  “Why do you think I said it?”

  “Your attitude is beginning to piss me off.” I sniffed. “Did you have sex at fifteen?”

  “Me?” He snorted. “No. I’m a virgin now.”

  “Okay, even the English can smell your bullshit, Isaac. Right from their little dale caves or whatever you heathens live in.”

  His eyes danced with laughter. “No, I wasn’t having sex at fifteen. I was seventeen when I lost my virginity.”

  “I don’t believe that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Nobody who talks dirty the way you do waited until after the legal age to have sex.”

  “Do you have personal experience with that?” He raised his eyebrows and took a slow mouthful of beer.

  “A lady never reveals her secrets.” I mimicked his movement with my wine. “Besides, it’s not like my first time was anything to write home about. The loser lasted two minutes, and even though we dated for a year…” I shuddered. “There are pornstars out there right now filming their orgies who are having more real orgasms than I did with him.”

  “We can change that if you want.”

  “What? The orgasms I never had with my first boyfriend? No thanks. I’m fine providing my own.” I clapped my hand over my mouth.

  Holy shit. What was in this wine?

  Isaac’s eyebrows rose, and his lips twitched at the corners. “Well I know for a fact that’s something I can help you with.”

  There was a huge lump in my throat. I had to get out of this situation. Abort mission, Captain.

  “You do?”

  That was not what I meant to say. Stupid mouth. Stupid brain. Stupid Hannah.

  Amusement flashed across his face. “Do I have to refer to the texts again?”

  “You just did.”

  He put his beer bottle
on the counter with a clunk and walked around it, closing the distance between us. “Then allow me to refer to them a little more.”

  I took a step back. My butt bumped into the counter, and my heart thumped really hard when the realization that I had nowhere to go washed over me. It was a delicious, consuming mixture of apprehension and excitement, because I knew that if he kissed me like he had last night, there was no way I would tell him to stop.

  The ankle-biting kitten was the only reason I’d stopped last night.

  Apparently, my willpower was that of a piece of paper on a fire.

  Poof. Gone. Buh-bye.

  Isaac laid his hands either side of me on the counter, trapping me in place. My heart spiked even further before quickly settling into a steady yet rapid rhythm that matched the bolt of desire that went through me.

  “What are you doing?” I whispered.

  He dipped his head. “Pushing my luck.”

  He captured my lips with his, kissing me firmly. It was so perfect, teasing yet testing, as if he really were pushing his luck.

  Gently, I put my hands at his waist, telling him to carry on.

  It was as if that one tiny movement lit a fire under his ass, because he cupped my face with both hands and deepened the kiss in seconds. This was different than last night. It was hungry and needy, a kiss that told me how badly he wanted to take this further than he ever could with words.

  It was a kiss that said he wanted to put his previous words into action.

  It was a kiss that I, right now, right this second, was fully on board with.

  Isaac parted his lips and flicked his tongue against mine. I did the same, allowing him to take the kiss even further. Desire sparked across my skin in little bursts of shivers that touched me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and I reveled in every single touch.

  Every beat of my heart as he kissed me.

  He kissed me like he was starving.

  I drank it in, relishing every moment. A part of this was still so surreal, but I pushed that to the back of my head as our bodies reacted to one another. His cock hardened against his pants, pressing against me, and my thighs clenched to control the ache that was building between my legs.

  A deep, needy ache that took everything inside me to suppress.