Real Men Do It Better

by Lora Leigh, Susan Donovan, Lori Wilde, Carrie Alexander

  Jorey looked up at her. “You are.”

  “But I’m not sure anymore what part is my wishful thinking and what part is real!”

  “It’s all real, Kate.” He tried to make his voice as soothing as he could. On her face, he could see the forces of doubt and hope duke it out. “Please sit down and let me tell you about Monica.”

  Kate twisted up her pretty pink mouth and threw herself to the bed, where she sat against the headboard, arms crossed over her chest. “Let’s hear it.”

  Jorey moved so that he sat cross-legged in front of her. “Monica’s group was, in fact, all women. It was the only all-women group I’d ever had, and, if there’s anything I have to say about it, the last.”

  “Oh? Wore you out, did they?” She bobbled her head back and forth for emphasis.

  Jorey chuckled. “Yes they did, Princess. Wore my nerves to nubbins. I felt like a mouse invited to have dinner with a girl gang of cats.” Kate wasn’t impressed. “The sexual tension was so thick that week that you could barely breathe. Two of the women were sisters, two more were best friends, and there was a mother-daughter team thrown into the mix for extra drama. They were single, married, and divorced. All of them hit on me.”

  Kate wagged an eyebrow. “Monica, too?”

  Jorey weighed his words carefully. “You’ve known Monica for how long?”

  “We were best friends in high school.”

  “Then maybe I don’t have to tell you the details.”

  He watched Kate relax some. She lowered her head and nodded. “I know she can be aggressive.”

  Jorey let out a quick laugh. “Yep. One night I finished getting the breakfast things together and answering e-mails, and I walk in here and she’s right where you are—except you’re wearing a whole lot more than she was.”

  Kate raised her head and her mouth hung open.

  “Talk about something that wasn’t in the brochure. I asked her to leave my room and respect my privacy. That was just two days into the pilgrimage—the rest of the week was pretty awkward. We made our peace by the end—at least I thought we had.”

  Kate’s eyes narrowed. “So you’re saying she’s jealous.”

  Jorey looked at her calm and steady. “I have no reason to lie to you, Kate. Those are the facts. As a rule, I do not sleep with people I lead on pilgrimage.”

  “What about me?”

  Jorey pulled one of her hands free and cradled it in both of his. Her skin was hot and sweaty. “There was no pilgrimage scheduled for this week.”

  “But I paid you.”

  “You can have your money back.”

  Kate’s pretty little mouth pulled down at the corners. “I don’t want the money. I just want—” She stopped and shook her head, as if to chase away her feelings.

  “Tell me what you want, Kate.”

  She brought her soft blue eyes to his and sighed. “I just want to believe that this is what I think it is. I want to believe in this—in us.”

  “Then do it.”

  She fell into his arms, and Jorey finally got what he’d wanted all evening. Kate was tight in his arms. And that’s where she stayed until the morning, except for when Jorey slipped out to the kitchen to heat up the tortillas and green chile stew, then make a quick phone call.

  It was sure nice to have friends.

  * * *

  Kate was awestruck by Santa Fe and the rugged magnificence that surrounded it. They’d spent the night twisted up in each other’s arms and legs, and left the lodge early. For the whole hour-long drive she’d bombarded Jorey with questions. What is the history here? What is that kind of valley called?

  He patiently described the centuries-old clash and combination of cultures that made New Mexico what it was—the ancient Native American people, the Spanish conquerors, and the Anglos. He gave names to the wide variety of land formations—prehistoric fault lines, volcanic intrusions, mesas, canyons. He told her that he’d traveled here once as a teenager, and had never been able to shake the need to return.

  “This is a sacred place, Kate. People have gravitated here for all of history for that reason. I’ve always believed it’s one of those places on Earth where the division between body and soul narrows, and spirit is made known to us.”

  After a week in the wilderness, Kate felt giddy as she hit one boutique after the next. She chose a pair of dark blue jeans at one shop, several cotton sweaters and shirts at another, and a pair of her own cowboy boots—in a dusky purple leather. She still needed a jacket, because even in the bright sun it was cool. She and Jorey strolled through the plaza at the heart of the city, and wandered into the venerable old La Posada hotel. Jorey said he had a surprise for her.

  Real coffee. She could smell it. And within ten minutes they were seated on a bench in the plaza and she was smelling and tasting wonderful, rich, dark caffeine with real cream, supremely comforted by the knowledge that the fancy little paper bag at Jorey’s feet held three pounds of the treasure—just in case she decided to stay.

  Jorey had tried several times to get her to talk about her decision to leave, but she didn’t feel capable. She’d told him the truth—that she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t have to go home immediately, but she knew it had been foolish to dream of staying for months on end. She wanted to take it a day at a time, and see what developed. Jorey said he couldn’t argue with that approach.

  In search of a jacket for Kate, they strolled down Shelby Street and found themselves in an outdoor market. Kate’s eyes were immediately drawn to a rack of wool ponchos. They stood apart from all the rest she’d seen in town that day. Their texture was fine and soft. The patterns of the weave were intricate. The colors were the colors of the desert—browns and reds, muted purples, and sage greens.

  Her eye fell on one in particular, and she was about to remove the hanger from the rack when a voice came behind her.

  “I made this one for you, miss,” he said. She turned around to see a small man with a very big smile, obviously using a practiced salesman line on her. “Come and see for yourself.”

  He led her to a full-length mirror propped against a tree and slipped it over her head. Sales pitch or no, the man was right. Kate looked at her reflection and laughed—jeans, cowboy boots, poncho, and a peaceful look on her face she was wholly unfamiliar with.

  She watched in the mirror as Jorey walked up behind her, and something in her heart burst open. He was so tall and straight and handsome. The way he looked at her could not lie. Those dark and deep eyes could never lie. Those eyes were full of love.

  He reached down into the nape of the poncho and set her hair free, then tenderly kissed her cheek.

  It must have been the way the sunlight hit the mirror, but Kate was sure that for an instant, she and Jorey were surrounded by a cocoon of love. It shimmered gold and white and blue. She blinked and it was gone.

  “Thanks. We’ll take it,” Jorey said, and within minutes, over Kate’s protests, he’d happily shelled out several hundred dollars he probably didn’t have.

  After a delicious lunch at the New Mexican diner just off the plaza, Jorey told Kate that dessert was next, and he was taking her to the best place he knew.

  “I can’t eat anything else or I’ll pop,” she said.

  “This is food for the soul, my dear,” he said.

  Another hour later, Jorey was driving down a two-lane road that ran parallel to a river lined with trees Jorey gave names to: Gambel Oak, Box Elder, and Cottonwood. They listened to a CD of Native American flute music that floated around them, creating a cocoon of beauty inside the Range Rover. And they continued to drive. Kate knew that the last town they passed was a crossroads with the strange name of Abiquiu, and that was several miles back. She looked at the sky and could see the beginnings of a fiery red sunset.

  “May I ask where we’re going?”

  “Nope.”

  She laughed. “You love teasing me.”

  “That’s true, but this is about me wanting you to just be, to j
ust look around you and see. I don’t want you to have any preconceived notions. Just be open to what happens.”

  Kate folded her hands in her lap and took a breath. She felt the car begin to slow and heard the click of Jorey’s turn signals. She had to squint and lean forward against her seat belt in order to read the small white wooden sign.

  She snapped her head around and stared at Jorey. “You’re taking me to a mosque? Out in the middle of nowhere?”

  “Ah, well, it’s a long story, but this community has always been kind to me. I bring groups here all the time and they never hesitate to give me permission. They own all the land around here.”

  “I’m trying to be open here, but a mosque?”

  Jorey laughed. “There is a mosque, but it’s way over the hill in that direction, and you can’t even see it. We’re not going there. We’re going to a temple that wasn’t built by human beings.”

  The Range Rover continued up a steep gravel road. Slowly, a shocking sight revealed itself. At first, Kate didn’t know what to think—what she was seeing was so strange and so beautiful that it didn’t register with her.

  “What is this place?” she whispered.

  “Plaza Blanca, the White Place,” Jorey said, pulling into a small parking area and turning off the engine. “Are you up for a little walk?”

  Kate got out of the car and stretched her legs, looking around with big eyes. After Jorey grabbed a blanket and a small backpack from the trunk, he took her hand in his.

  “This is my favorite place on earth, Kate. I couldn’t have you leave without seeing it.”

  They entered a narrow path that led into a huge, all-white canyon. It was startling because of the contrast—all around it was the more familiar reds and browns of the desert. But this place was pure white, and lined with the strangest rock formations.

  “They look like people,” she whispered, staring at one tall, thin rock after the next. Each was topped by what could be considered a head. Some had faces. Some had large noses. If she looked particularly hard, she could imagine that some wore hats or had long hair. “Holy shit,” she said.

  “Precisely.” Jorey chuckled. “Locals have always considered this a home for the spirits of the holy ancient ones. It’s believed that the ancestors really live here, and you can talk to them. You can seek their guidance.”

  “It’s almost spooky.”

  Jorey put his arm around her shoulders. “Are you in the mood to expand your horizons a bit?”

  Kate laughed slightly and shook her head. “Trust me, I’m expanding as we speak, Jorey.”

  “Good. Then come with me.”

  They walked in silence for a very long time, though all the while Kate knew it wasn’t silence. There was a strange humming in her ears, and she could hear the wind move through the valley. At one section of the canyon wall, the rocks formed a huge natural amphitheater, and a grove of trees grew in its embrace. The wind moved through those trees, shaking millions of small, shiny leaves. The effect was a hissing, breathing symphony.

  Jorey placed his hand at the small of her back and nudged her up a steep rise. Kate sighed, thinking that she was forever in the wrong shoes. But Jorey kept her steady and they eventually reached the peak of a flattened hill.

  Kate gasped. Then she laughed. It was just too beautiful—the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. It was nature at its most dramatic. The red sun spilled over the horizon and hit the white of the rocks so that they seemed to glow from an internal fire. It looked like there was warm blood running through those stone people. The whole canyon was awash in the light. Just then a hawk swooped low, cried out, and caught an updraft that lifted it high into the sky.

  Jorey unzipped a compartment of his backpack, and the sound jerked Kate to attention.

  “Sorry,” he whispered.

  Kate watched him reach into the pack and pull out a lighter, followed by a thick, silvery bundle of leaves and stems. She felt her eyes go wide.

  “I was wondering when you’d pull out the peyote,” she said, giggling.

  Jorey giggled with her. “I’m trying to be spiritual here. Stop it.”

  “We’re both going to be close to God in a big way if we smoke that.”

  Jorey shook his head, but his dimple appeared and his eyes crinkled, and Kate was overwhelmed with love for him. He stood up straight and flicked the lighter. “This is desert sage. I’m going to smudge you, then you’ll return the favor. Now pay attention.”

  Jorey lit the bundle wrapped in twine, let the flame catch, then steadily exhaled over the burning end until it smoked. He asked Kate to face the sun, to breathe deep, and to close her eyes.

  When she took the breath, a pungent blast of slightly bitter air filled her lungs. Jorey quietly told her that the smoke was purifying, that he would wave it over her whole body while saying a prayer, and the prayers would take wind.

  Kate felt still at her core, aware of the presence of the stone people, of the wind’s music, and able to feel the heat of Jorey’s presence without him even touching her.

  “May you be blessed with light. May your roads be fulfilled. May you grow old. May you be blessed in the chase.”

  Those words had come from low to the ground, and Kate had to peek. Jorey was squatting at her feet, slowly waving the sage over the tops of her new cowboy boots, her ankles, her shins. He looked up, catching her.

  “Concentrate, sweetheart. Listen to the words and breathe.”

  She did. As he spoke, her shoulders relaxed and her back strengthened. Her feet felt bolted to the hard earth beneath her. Jorey’s words moved up the front of her body, from her fingers up the length of each arm. The words paused over her heart.

  “Breathing in, I am alive,” he said. “Breathing out, I am alive.”

  He moved the smoke around her face and the back of her head. “In this precious moment, in this sacred place, in the abundance of love I dwell.”

  Kate stood still, her body and mind in deep calm. She had no idea how much time had passed, but she started at the soft touch of Jorey’s hand on her shoulder.

  “It’s your turn, Kate. Please smudge me before the sun goes down.”

  She opened her eyes and was greeted with a changed world. The stone people were now deep red, and the entire canyon glowed with passion. She looked to Jorey and saw the same intensity in his face.

  “I didn’t expect this,” she said, shaking her head. “I mean, I thought you were taking me for cheesecake.”

  He laughed. “I love you so much, Kate. I love you so much that I’d move back to Los Angeles to be near you.”

  She shook her head. “Never. We’ll try, Jorey. I will stay here in your sacred place for as long as I can, and we’ll see where this goes.”

  A very soft smile spread over his face, and Kate could see him blink back tears.

  “I love you, too, Jorey. It’s the damnedest thing. But I’m going where the universe has taken me, and it’s taken me to you.”

  “Smudge me so we can go home and get back in bed.”

  “I don’t know how to do this.”

  “You’ll think of something. Just have faith.”

  Kate accepted the weightless bundle from Jorey and took a deep breath. “Face the sun and close your eyes, please,” she said, squatting down at his feet. She took a moment to appreciate the broken-in brown leather of his hiking boots. He had walked all over this land, taking people where they needed to go. And it’s exactly what he’d done with her.

  “God, guide this man so he can walk in beauty always.” She waved the sage, mesmerized by how the smoke danced and rose up the front of his body. She created a pattern around his feet, ankles, and legs. “Keep him strong and healthy.” She paused at his chest and closed her eyes in concentration. “Guard his heart, because it is so pure, but keep it open to all of life’s possibilities.”

  Jorey stood very still with his eyes closed, breathing evenly. She waved the sage around his beautiful eyes, ears, mouth, forehead. “Be with this man I
love. Give him the strength and patience it will take to love me back.”

  She ground the tip of the sage in the sandy soil. And she waited for him to open his eyes.

  “That was very nice, Kate.”

  She shrugged. “It was kind of weird, but I liked it a lot.”

  Jorey laughed. “Can’t ask for more than that.”

  They gathered up their things and Jorey started down the hill in front of her, holding out his hand for her to steady herself. They walked to the car just before it became dark, and stood arm in arm to watch the last seconds of the sun’s glory.

  “I know this is a bad time to bring this up,” Kate said, “but what in the hell am I supposed to do with myself up here, Jorey? Does Archie need a PR agent?”

  He looked down at her and grinned. “I’ve been wondering that, too. Not about Archie, but about what you could do. What would you like to do? What would you do if you could do anything in the world?”

  She thought for a moment. “I’d like to learn to ride horses. I’d like to read everything I’ve never had time to read. I’d like to discover things about myself and about you. Maybe write books someday. And I could grow brown eggs, like Archie and Joan.”

  “Technically, eggs aren’t grown. They’re laid.”

  “Right.”

  “But you could do that if you wanted.”

  She looked up at him with a wicked grin. “You want me to lay eggs?”

  “Not necessarily, but that might happen.” He put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her face close to his. “I was thinking you’d just get laid—a lot.”

  “I didn’t know there was any money in that.”

  “No money, just joy.” He bent down closer and propped his forehead against hers. “And when I don’t have you tied to the bed you can read and write and help me with the lodge.”

  “I could learn to make breakfasts.”

  “Cool.”

  “But we’d have to have real coffee.”

  “It’s the least I could do.”

  “I saw our aura today, the one we make together.” Kate had almost been afraid to say it out loud. She looked into Jorey’s eyes and noticed that their fire burned, even in the twilight.