I'll Make You Mine

by Gia Riley

  “That couch is the only place to sit in the goddamn room.” I toss my stick on the table. I’ve had enough.

  Trevor’s in my face again, trying to stop me from leaving. “I know you care about Zoe, but this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. I’d hate for you to put a girl before this trip and your friends. Because what are you going to do when the relationship’s over?”

  Over.

  I toss the word around in my head. Not once did I consider Zoe wouldn’t marry me someday. I assumed that’s what we’re working toward. But I am Zoe’s first boyfriend. What if she doesn’t want to settle down with the first guy she dates?

  Na, not us. We’re solid. There’s too much on the line to be messing around with one another.

  “I appreciate your concern, Trev, but Zoe and I are serious. You don’t have a clue what we have. I think it’s time we leave.”

  “I’d have to agree with you because it looks like your girl already left.”

  I turn around and the couch is empty. What the fuck?

  I scour every inch of the basement, but Zoe’s not down here, so I charge up the stairs and run straight into Letty at the top. Her hands land on my chest and mine on her waist to keep us both from falling. “We should meet like this more often,” she says as she licks her lips.

  “Have you seen Zoe?”

  “She’s with Chris.”

  “Chris?” All Chris does is smoke and get high. He’s always plastered.

  Letty wraps her arms around my neck and smiles.

  “You need to stop touching me.”

  “You don’t mean that,” she whispers. “You want me, too. I feel it.”

  “I love my girlfriend, Letty.”

  “Dylan, come on. We’re going to Mexico.”

  “You’re going to Mexico with Trevor. So, I suggest you figure your shit out before you come home and stop fucking around with him. He’s a good guy.” He’s being a dick tonight, but he’s still a good person.

  “I’ve always wanted you, Dylan. Why do you think I moved next to your best friend?”

  “What the fuck, Letty,” Trevor says as he stands at the top of the basement stairs, behind us. If what she said wasn’t enough to break his heart, her wandering hands are. He’s too good for that girl.

  I look at both of them, so there’s no confusion, and say, “I’m not interested. Figure your shit out because I’m tired of it.”

  Letty breaks down into tears, but I don’t have time to get in the middle of that mess, so I check the bathroom and the dining room. Zoe’s not there. This old house has a ton of places to hide, and she’s not in any of them.

  Outside, I scan the lawn, spotting Chris sitting in the middle of the sidewalk. He’s probably too high to remember his own name, but according to Letty, he’s my best shot at finding Zoe.

  “My man, Dylan. Long time no talk.”

  “Hey, Chris, have you seen Zoe?”

  “Zoe?”

  “Pink shirt, long hair, brown eyes.”

  “Dude, you described like half the chicks at this party. One hauled ass out of here about five minutes ago. Maybe she’s yours.”

  Zoe wouldn’t leave without telling me. There’s no way she’d walk all the way home in the dark, but I have no clue how much she overheard. Trevor was spewing so much shit, it wouldn’t surprise me if she took off.

  My call to her phone goes unanswered, and if she’s still inside, it’d be too loud for her to hear it, anyway. Maybe she’s in the backyard, the only place I haven’t looked.

  I’m almost to the deck when my phone rings and her name lights up the screen. “Baby, where are you?”

  “I think I’m lost.”

  “Lost? What are you near?”

  “I needed air because you were right, my drink was super angry. It went straight to my head, and I was afraid I couldn’t keep it down. But this weird kid was sitting outside, and he kept trying to grab me—something about trolls capturing us.”

  “Trolls? That sounds like Chris.”

  “I ran the other way when he tried to haul me into the car in the driveway. It’s so dark, I got confused and I think I went the wrong way.”

  I’m jogging out front when I ask her, “Did you go right or left?”

  “Left.” The wrong way.

  “Okay, don’t move. I’m coming.”

  I shove my phone in my pocket and dart across the street.

  Look both ways. It’s a simple concept engrained into every kid’s mind from the time they’re old enough to put one foot in front of the other. But tonight, getting to Zoe overrides everything I’ve been taught.

  She’s alone in a shady alley.

  She’s scared.

  And all I care about is getting to her.

  The bright light blinds me and the piercing horn that follows makes my ears ache. But it’s the blow to my side that knocks me off my feet and onto my back.

  I roll onto the ground, choking on blood as it pools inside my mouth and trickles down my lips. I try to spit, but end up crunching glass between my teeth, slicing my tongue open.

  The blood is suffocating, and the silence deafening. My whole body is numb.

  Zoe

  With the moon barely visible in the sky, it seems darker than usual. The street lights are few and far between, and most of them don’t even have bulbs. It’s probably a good thing I can’t see my own shadow, or I’d probably freak myself out.

  Every car that passes, my heart races, and I wish I hadn’t guzzled so much of that awful drink. If I had a clear head, I wouldn’t have gotten all twisted around in these alleyways.

  I haven’t been on this side of town much, and that weird guy in the yard wouldn’t leave me alone. All I wanted was some fresh air, but he kept trying to touch me and lure me into his car.

  Everything about it felt wrong, so I ran. I ran until I was sure he wouldn’t catch me and hid behind a random garage.

  If I had just stayed inside and waited for Dylan to finish his game, I wouldn’t be outside wandering around all by myself. But I was embarrassed the drink was making me sick. Dylan tried to warn me it wasn’t a smart move. I didn’t listen because Letty was in my line of sight. Her skimpy outfit and perfect boobs on display for the whole room to see. I hate how crazy she makes me and that I always have to run.

  Dylan said not to move, but footsteps bounce off the pavement, and I’m worried it’s the crazy kid again. I inch toward them, but whatever I thought I heard, disappears.

  Where is Dylan?

  Sirens wail past the alley and bright red specs of color bounce off the brick building next to me. A couple cop cars, an ambulance, and a fire truck make enough noise to wake the dead, and a chill runs up my spine when they stop a couple streets away.

  What if the party got busted? Most of the people there were probably seniors and over twenty-one, but I’m sure some weren’t.

  The sirens stop and the lights continue to ricochet off the buildings, changing the darkness into a kaleidoscope of red, white, and blue. Maybe Dylan can’t get past them and that’s why he’s not coming.

  What if there was a fire?

  Or someone got into a fight?

  I walk toward the colors, praying they lead me in the right direction.

  Once I’m out of the alley and can see the trucks in the distance, I run toward the lights. It’s only a block or two and when I get there, I see a black car with the hood dented. The windshield looks like a complicated spider web and Letty’s standing next to the car with a flashlight in her face. At least three officers surround her, but the interrogation is calm compared to the commotion in the middle of the street.

  Trevor and Josh are kneeling next to a lifeless body. The bile inches up my throat when I see Dylan’s bloody shoe sitting beside a backboard.

  Another officer pulls Trevor and Josh away from the scene. Trevor spots me first, and I thought I was still walking, but I’m no closer to the accident.

  He runs toward me, placing his hands on my shoulders.
His lips are moving but there’s no sound coming out. Tears prick my eyes and my voice shakes. “Is he d-dead?”

  Trevor’s crying and wiping at his face with the back of his hand. I should have tears, too, but my face is dry. My hands are cold, my entire body trembles, yet my insides are on fire. This has to be a dream, some sick joke they’re playing on me.

  But there’s too much blood on the ground for it to be pretend. “What happened?” Trevor wraps me in his arms. “I want to go home,” I tell him. But he doesn’t move, and I still don’t know who the car belongs to. Not that it matters. It’s my fault he’s lying in the middle of the street.

  I got lost.

  I made him leave the party in a hurry.

  And I didn’t even say thank you.

  “I need to talk to him, Trevor.”

  “You can’t, Zoe. They’re working on him. Who can I call for you?”

  “Me? I need Dylan.”

  “Who else? Tell me, Zoe.”

  “Kyler,” I whisper. I don’t know what makes me say his name, but he made it better the last time, and I feel like if anyone can do it again, it’d be him.

  Trevor pries the phone from my hand and makes the call. It seems like seconds and Kyler’s by my side, pulling me against his warm chest. But I don’t want to be going in reverse, I have to stay with Dylan.

  “Zoe, stop,” he says.

  “I made this mess.”

  “It wasn’t you, Zoe. It was Letty,” Trevor says as he sits down on the curb.

  Letty.

  My legs collapse underneath me and Kyler’s there to grab me before I fall. “You’re in shock, Zoe. Sit down.”

  Kyler’s hands are all scratched up from my nails, but I didn’t even realize I was fighting him.

  Voices blend until I’m sitting on the curb with my head in my hands, sucking in enough air to fill my lungs. The simple act of breathing is too much because I’m not sure Dylan is.

  This can’t be happening.

  “How did you find me?” I ask Kyler as Trevor stands and moves closer to Dylan. I want to go with him, but Kyler won’t let me move.

  “Dylan invited us. He thought it would make you more comfortable.”

  The last time Dylan saw Kyler, he was so mad. For him to invite him to the party tonight, just so I’d have a good time, adds to the guilt.

  “Zoe, look at me.”

  If I raise my head, I’ll see Dylan. And I can’t handle that—not now, not never. I need him. I need every ounce of the person he is. He’s the best parts of me, my patience, my understanding, my confidence.

  Kyler pulls on the sleeves of Dylan’s shirt that’s wrapped around me, keeping me warm, until I’m in his lap. “Do you want me to take you to the hospital?”

  “I love him so much, Kyler, just like you love Price. You were right, we have it.”

  “I know you do, Zoe. I felt it when he threatened to bash my face in.” He rubs my back and without even trying, I compare his touch to Dylan’s. That makes my chest ache more.

  I tried to dress like the other girls tonight. I wanted to wear something that wasn’t boring or predictable so Dylan had a normal girlfriend.

  I’ll never be normal.

  I’ll always screw things up.

  And the people I love will leave me.

  Mom died and now Dylan could follow.

  “Don’t let them leave without me, Kyler.”

  “I’ll take you to the hospital. You can talk to Dylan when we get there. He’ll listen to you and he’ll be okay.”

  “No,” I tell him. “Don’t put that kind of pressure on me. I did this to him.”

  “You weren’t driving the car, Zoe. This wasn’t your fault.”

  “Was she driving?”

  “Let’s go to the hospital. We’ll find out more there.”

  “No, tell me. I need to know.”

  “It’s Letty’s car. They have her.”

  Kyler helps me stand and wraps his arm around my shoulders. Price parks as close as he can get to the house and we slide in the back seat of his car.

  Josh’s talking to the cops. Letty’s being ushered into the back of a patrol car, screaming for Trevor. And Trevor’s hands are on his head, watching as they take her away. He’s telling her to calm down, but his words are causing her to do the opposite. No matter how much he wants to, he can’t save her.

  I rest my head on Kyler’s shoulder and as soon as the ambulance leaves, Price follows.

  “Do you think my mom can send him back?”

  “What do you mean?” Kyler asks.

  “My mom’s in heaven,” I tell him. “Will she see him there and send him back?”

  “He’s not going to die. She won’t see him.”

  I’d like to believe that, but he wasn’t moving. His shoe was off and he didn’t try to put it back on. If he was awake, he would have stood up and looked for me.

  I can’t go back to the darkness that followed me around after Mom died. Dylan was my light. Without him, I can’t see.

  Zoe

  “Do you need to throw up?” Kyler asks as I curl into a ball in my chair.

  “No,” I tell him. “It’s just my nerves.”

  Tonight’s the first night since we got together that I won’t fall asleep next to Dylan. Even when I was freaking out about our parents’ relationship, I still snuck into his bedroom to be close to him. He didn’t catch me at first. It took a couple days for him to realize what I was doing. That was the night he left me a message on the steamed-up bathroom mirror.

  Something as simple as I love you changed my entire perspective. I imagined what it would be like for Dad to hear those words again. Words he had to let go of once Mom died. If he loves Linda, I want them to have more time. Time to grow. Time to erase some of the pain. And time to live.

  But I’m not stupid, if Dylan doesn’t make it, a part of Linda will die with him.

  He’s been in surgery for an hour with a couple more to go. The bits and pieces I’ve found out aren’t much because I’m not family. Even girlfriend status doesn’t get me the information I need. I have to wait until Linda gets here, but if anything happens to him before then, I don’t know what I’ll do.

  “Why do hospitals always stink?” Price says as he plops down next to Kyler. He’s been pacing the waiting room since we got here. He can’t sit still and I can’t move.

  “It’s disinfectant,” I tell him.

  Dad used to come home smelling like it. When I was little, I thought doctors cleaned all day. Mom got a good laugh out of that one.

  The surgical waiting room doesn’t smell quite as bad as the emergency room, but the chair’s just as hard and my butt’s half asleep. If I listen hard enough, I hear dripping from the water fountain.

  I can’t take it.

  The silence.

  The gnawing in my stomach.

  The regret.

  Midnight brings a shift change and a round of new faces. They’re all fresh and some are even smiling. I’d come to work with Dad when Mom had to work late. Sometimes I think they let me come even when she got off at her normal time. Dad knew I liked being with him, and he was hoping I’d get the doctor bug and want to be like him when I grew up.

  But when I was younger, I didn’t realize someone had to be in pain for Dad to help them. All I saw was my hero taking care of people, making them whole again.

  I never considered the praying, the tears, the crying, the boxes of empty tissues in the trash can. Miracles were all I saw.

  Kyler fidgets in his chair and adjusts his watch for the tenth time. I can tell he doesn’t like hospitals. “You don’t need to stay. I’ll be okay.”

  “I’m not leaving you, Zoe.”

  Nodding, I lean my head against his shoulder and rest.

  I must doze off because when I open my eyes, Mrs. Turner’s sitting in a chair on the opposite wall, next to my dad.

  Sitting up, I rub my eyes, wishing someone would have woken me up. “How long have you been here?” The fluore
scent bulbs burn my retinas.

  “About thirty minutes,” Dad says as he stands. For a second he hesitates like he’s not sure if I’ll accept his comfort. But I’ve never needed my father more. As soon as his arms are around me, all the tears I’ve been hoarding come pouring out of me.

  “Don’t cry, sweetheart. He’ll be okay.”

  “Can’t you go back there? They’ll let you help him.”

  “I’m not the attending.”

  “But Linda wants you to be. I want you to be.”

  “It doesn’t work like that, Zoe. I’m sorry.”

  “You have privileges here.”

  “Sweetie, when he’s through surgery, I’ll check on him. I’ll look over every inch of his chart. But right now, this is the best I can do.”

  “What if he doesn’t make it?”

  “He’ll make it. This hospital is the best of the best.”

  “The best is standing in the waiting room, Dad.”

  He hugs me tighter, resting his chin on the top of my head. “I love you for saying that. It changes nothing, though.”

  Another hour passes before the surgeon joins us in the waiting room. The two of them toss around all kinds of doctor talk, forgetting I understand the terms and their meanings. Fractures, internal bleeding, swelling, cranial pressure, are just a few.

  It’s worse than I thought.

  So much worse.

  But Dylan’s through surgery and now we wait.

  Wait for him to wake up.

  Wait for him to take a turn.

  Wait for him to recover.

  I’ve never been a patient person, but seeing Linda so upset makes me forget about why I was mad at them in the first place. I was hung up on love. The one thing that’s brought me to life and pried me out of my shell, and I was mad at it.

  Swallowing my pride, I stand up and sit in the chair my father was occupying. She takes my hand without an ounce of hesitation, and I know we’ll be okay.

  I save the apologies and hug her instead, my body saying the right words that I can’t. She hugs me back just as hard and says, “It’s already forgotten.”

  Dad kneels in front of us, looking completely helpless. Linda didn’t hear the conversation with the surgeon, and right now she needs my father because her son is barely hanging on.