Miss Demeanor

by Beth Rinyu

  “Actually, I umm…I have to meet up with someone I work with who’s down here.”

  “Oh, your mother isn’t going to be happy.” He raised an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, well. I’ll catch up with them later.” I extended my hand to him when we reached our cars. “I can’t thank you enough for all your hard work on this.”

  “This was nothing…I live for the tough ones!” He chuckled. “You take it easy and make sure you pay your mom and dad a visit before you leave or somehow I’ll be hearing about it too.”

  “Will do.” I nodded and entered my car, rolling down the windows until the air conditioner kicked in. Scrolling through my contacts, I couldn’t help but laugh when I came to Rose’s alias. I thought about letting her go about her crazy plan alone for a second, but I was the one who got her involved in this whole William situation, so I felt a little obligated to help her out. Even though I did think the idea was a little senseless.

  I pressed my thumb on “Pain in my Pompous Ass” and waited for her to answer.

  “Well, if it isn’t the pompous ass!” She finally answered after the third ring, although I could barely hear her over the background noise.

  “Where are you? I can hardly hear you.”

  “Oh, at a place called Barracuda Bob’s, having a cocktail before I head out on my mission. Care to join me?”

  “Yeah, I can be there in about ten minutes. Just don’t get yourself crazy drunk like last weekend. You’re here for a reason, and it’s not partying, remember?”

  “Yes, Dad, I remember! I’ll see you in ten.”

  She hung up the phone and I was on my way. Funny how when I had first met Rose, I didn’t make her out to be such a party girl. I thought she would be more of a prude. I was wrong about that. I was wrong about a lot of things when it came to her. Still, I never in a million years would have expected her to head out to a bar on her own in a strange town. It was a frightening thought. With a little bit of alcohol in her she was capable of anything, even waking up in the same bed as me.

  I parked the car in one of the parking garages and headed toward River Street. Savannah, Georgia, was a town like no other, and not just because I had grown up here. It had everything: history, a small-town feel with its cobblestone streets and beautiful architecture, a healthy bar scene from morning until night, some of the best restaurants around, and a beautiful riverfront with so much hustle and bustle going on, it gave New York City a run for its money.

  I’d instantly become homesick when I’d come back to visit and walk through the beautiful squares in town or down the picturesque tree-lined streets, never tiring of the grand southern live oaks draped with Spanish moss. Part of me wanted to pack it all up and head home, the other part wanting to stay as far away as possible. I loved my parents, that was for sure, but I felt like I was always a disappointment to my father. He wanted me to follow in his footsteps and take over his law practice, the same way he had with his father.

  When I had gotten accepted into Princeton and MIT he was elated, but it was never what I wanted. My dream to become a Marine was one I had from the time I was eight years old. My father would always downplay it and tell everyone it was a phase. When my senior year of high school approached, and I was talking to recruiters instead of visiting colleges, he knew it was more than just a passing thing. I took my SATs and applied to colleges just to appease him, but I knew where my calling lay. My mother was supportive, even though she feared the dangers that such a choice entailed—my father not so much. He didn’t speak to me from the time I graduated from high school to the month that led up to boot camp. No goodbyes, no good luck, no “you can do this” …nothing. I hated him for not being able to be proud of my decision and give me the support all the other recruits were getting from their fathers, which made me even more determined to succeed.

  All my letters in boot camp came from my mother, which she’d always sign, Love, Mom & Dad, but I knew he had nothing to do with them. I was shocked he even showed up to my graduation. It was only then he expressed that he was proud of me, but even at that, I wasn’t so sure he meant it. The truth was, I was always closer to my uncle Henry than I was to my father. He was so much more laid-back and didn’t put on airs for anyone just because he came from money. I didn’t become close with my father until I’d gotten hurt, and he was in my face twenty-four seven. Again, I wasn’t sure if that was over the guilt he was feeling over how he’d treated me or over the fact I almost died. I knew I wasn’t the model son either, I was stubborn and did a lot of things just to piss him off, but I had grown up a lot, thanks in part to my injury and then my mother’s cancer scare.

  I crossed the main street and chuckled to myself when I reached the narrow, steep steps that led down to the river, wondering how many lawsuits the town had faced with the drunks coming out of the many bars that lined River Street. Somehow, I didn’t think their warning sign they had posted warning people of historic steps was enough to heed someone fueled by alcohol. I looked out on the river as a huge cargo ship passed by and was reminded of my time spent here as a kid. My grandfather and I would sit on a bench, eating ice cream, candy, and everything else my mother wouldn’t allow me to have in excessive increments and watch the boats passing by, never worrying about the time or where we had to be. We were just in the moment. He’d tell me stories about when he was younger, and I’d listen intently and ask questions. He was a wealth of knowledge and my best friend when I was a little boy. Every time I looked on this river, I was reminded of him and how much I missed him, and those days gone by when I was able to live in the present and not worry about the future. He would always say youth is like a precious gem. You don’t know how valuable it is until it’s gone. He was right. So much had changed from those years gone by. I was a totally different person than that six-year-old boy, sitting on the bench covered in chocolate ice cream, and I’d be lying if I said I was happy with the person I had now become.

  Rose had already made some friends when I walked into the bar and found her laughing with the older couple sitting next to her. “Alex!” she exclaimed when she spotted me.

  I stopped dead in my tracks and just took in her expression for one brief second. Her smile was so sincere, so beautiful, I got caught up in it, never recalling anyone looking as genuinely happy to see me as she did at that moment. I shook it off as feeling sentimental over all the old memories this place conjured up in me, telling myself her smile was no different than all the others I’d seen her display.

  “Hey,” I greeted as I approached her.

  “Alex, this is Ralph and Karen…they’re from New York City too!”

  “Oh, hey, how are you?” I extended my hand to each of them.

  “You sound more like a local,” the older man said as he tightly gripped my hand.

  “Yeah, I was born and raised here. I moved to Manhattan a few years ago.”

  “Why would you ever want to leave here? This place is so beautiful,” the woman replied.

  I looked at Rose for a moment and she too anxiously awaited my reply. “I don’t know,” I whispered.

  Rose pulled in her bottom lip and gave me a sympathetic smile as if she were reading my thoughts without me even saying a word. “Hey, can you get my friend here a beer?” she shouted to the bartender, breaking up the somewhat awkward moment.

  Her friend? I couldn’t believe after the shitty way I’d treated her when we’d first met, she now considered me a friend. Not only did she have a big heart and explosive personality, but she was also forgiving. God, I was so wrong about her. I took a seat next to her and joined in the conversation, wondering how I’d gotten to this point, sitting next to a girl I’d told myself to hate because I thought she was like someone else, but now a girl I was finding myself wanting to be with more and more with each passing day.

  Chapter 27

  ___________________

  Alex

  “GO AHEAD, I’LL BE right down here. I’m just the assistant, remember?” I smirked at Rose a
s she hesitantly took the first steps on the front porch of the last known address of William’s daughter.

  “Should I just come out and tell her right away or ease into it?”

  I shrugged. “You’ll figure it out.” Luckily, she had a couple of drinks in her to help ease her into it.

  She barely knocked and took a deep breath. I walked up the steps behind her and knocked harder.

  “What are you doing?” She panicked.

  “Rose, I really don’t think anyone heard your teeny tiny tap on the door.”

  She cleared her throat and pulled it together, her eyes widening when a little boy who looked to be around six years old answered the door. “Oh, hello.” Rose’s tone was soft and sweet. “Is your mommy or an adult around?”

  “Stranger danger!” Crinkling his freckled nose, he pointed at Rose and shouted through the screen door.

  “Oh, umm…no, honey,” Rose spoke, and I couldn’t help but laugh over the flustered state this little boy had her in. “Yes, I’m a stranger…but—”

  “Stranger! Stranger…go away!” he shouted even louder.

  Rose turned my way for help, and I laughed harder.

  “Can I help you?” a blond-haired woman asked as she came to the door, her guard instantly up as she moved the little boy behind her.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare him. I was looking for Audra.”

  The woman cinched her eyebrows and stiffened her posture. “Umm…and you are?” Her tone was anything but welcoming.

  “Oh, my name is Rose. I’m a friend of Audra’s father.”

  “Audra’s father is dead,” the woman snapped.

  “No…he’s—”

  “Actually, the man we know is William Benton, Audra’s birth father,” I clarified.

  “No, Audra’s father wasn’t named William.”

  “Diane? What’s going on?” A dark-haired woman appeared in the doorway.

  “Oh, Audra, can you explain to these people that your father passed away and isn’t named William?” the blond-haired woman requested. “You guys obviously have the wrong person.”

  “No, they don’t.” Audra’s words were barely a whisper.

  “Audra, what’s going on?” the woman asked.

  “Diane, I’ll explain it to you later. Can you please take Josh into the kitchen for a moment?”

  “Umm, yeah, okay.” The woman hesitantly took the little boy’s hand and walked away.

  Audra opened the screen door and stepped out onto the porch. She appeared to be in her mid-forties, with long dark hair and very similar traits to that of her mother in the photograph from way back when. There was no mistaking she was of Asian descent until I got a look at her eyes, which were the same shade of blue as William’s.

  “Look, I don’t know what that man wants from me, but as far as I’m concerned he’s not my father and he never was. I never told my partner, Diane, about him. As far as she knows the man who raised me was my father and will always be my father. So, whatever reason he sent you here for, I’m sorry to say, it’s a waste of your time. Now, if you don’t mind…” She turned around to walk back inside.

  “He didn’t send us here,” Rose shouted, stopping Audra dead in her tracks and causing her to turn around. “In fact, he doesn’t even know we’re here. He told me all about you. He showed me a picture of you when you were just a little baby.”

  “Well, it’s a shame that being a father takes more than exchanging a few pictures back and forth with my mother. Being a father is being there for your child through all the ups and downs in their life. Not leaving their child and the mother of their child in some war-ravaged country and then forgetting about them because you’re more committed to the bottom of a whiskey bottle.”

  “Rose, come on, let’s go,” I pleaded. I knew how much she wanted to make this work, but I could tell this woman wasn’t going to budge with her opinion of William.

  “That’s not true. He did really love you, and he wanted to be part of your life.” Rose ignored my plea and continued with her mission. “He wanted to find you. He wanted to be your dad.”

  She shook her head and stared at Rose. “How old are you?”

  “Twenty-four,” Rose replied.

  She flashed Rose a cynical smile. “I used to think I knew everything at twenty-four too. Turns out I didn’t know much at all. Give yourself twenty years and you’ll see the world isn’t the rose color you perceive it to be. William Benton is nothing to me.”

  Rose reached into her purse and pulled out a large tattered envelope. “Here…this is for you.”

  I stared at the envelope, seeming just as perplexed as Audra as to what the contents of it were. “William told me if he ever saw you again, he would love for you to have this.”

  “What is this?” she asked as Rose placed it in her hand.

  “It’s letters William has written you every year on your birthday. Forty-something years’ worth.”

  I didn’t know who was more shocked, me or Audra. I had no idea William had given those to Rose. As far as I knew William was clueless to us even coming here.

  “I came here today to tell you William is dying. He didn’t tell us to come here and track you down. Like I said, he doesn’t even know we’re here. It was all me who wanted to come here. Against everyone’s better judgment.” She turned her head in my direction. “I just thought maybe you’d want to say goodbye. Maybe I’m wrong, and that’s okay if I am, but I couldn’t let William leave this earth without you knowing he really did love you. So, you do what you want with those letters, but they’re yours, and if you change your mind, I’ve included his address in there, as well as my contact information.”

  Audra was visibly shaken, holding the envelope like it was a bomb ready to detonate at any moment. Her eyes clouded over and without another word to either of us, she turned around, stepped inside, and closed the door behind her.

  Rose stuck out her bottom lip, and I could tell she was beating herself up that the meeting didn’t go as she planned.

  “You did everything you could,” I said as we stepped off the porch and onto the street.

  “Yeah, I know.” Her voice faltered in defeat.

  “When did you get those letters?”

  “William gave them to me that day when he showed me the picture. He asked me to try and track her down, after he…” Her voice cracked. “That’s why I wanted to find her so badly before anything happened because then maybe he’d get the closure he was looking for.”

  I stopped walking for a moment just as we were about to cross the road and stared at her.

  “I know you think I’m crazy, and quite honestly, I’m questioning my own sanity for coming down here and trying to plan this reunion.”

  “No. I don’t think you’re crazy, not at all.”

  “Well, thanks for not telling me ‘I told you so,’” she muttered as we crossed the street.

  I pulled my phone from my pocket when it vibrated with a text message.

  Mom: Alex Thomas Andrews, I know you aren’t avoiding us. Dinner will be ready by seven, and I would like you to be here.

  I thought about it for a moment. I didn’t feel right about leaving Rose alone for dinner in a strange town, but then did I really want to face the alternative by inviting her along and having my mother give her a rundown of my life history?

  “My parents want me to come to their house for dinner. Do you want to come with?”

  “Oh, no. That’s okay. I’m just gonna head back to my hotel and wallow in my failure.”

  That was the last thing I wanted her to do. I was impressed with how she went out of her way for someone she hardly even knew, and she didn’t deserve to feel like she had failed by any means.

  “You didn’t fail, Rose. You tried, and you should be proud of yourself for that.”

  “Wow, did you just give me a compliment?” She smiled.

  “Yeah, I guess I did.”

  “The heat must be getting to you.”

  �
��Yeah, that’s probably it.” I chuckled. “So, what do you say? Spend a lonely night held up in a dark and dreary hotel room eating bad room service food, flicking through the five channels on the television, or be entertained by the incessant ramblings of Charlotte and Tom Andrews while eating real Southern food?”

  “First of all, my hotel is actually very nice. I have more than five channels, and they don’t offer room service—”

  “Then there you go. It’s settled, you’re coming to dinner.” I wasn’t sure why I was so adamant she come. Was it because I knew she would act as a buffer to questions I didn’t feel like answering to them or was it because I was really enjoying my time with her and didn’t want it to end?

  “Alex, I don’t want to intrude.”

  “Really, you’re not. You’re actually doing me a favor by coming.”

  “How exactly is that?” She laughed.

  “Because I’m sure they’ll be less inclined to give me all their standard lectures if you’re there.”

  “Oh, so you’re using me?”

  “Yeah, I guess you can say that.” I smirked.

  “Well, good, because I didn’t want to think you were actually being nice. It would totally ruin my image of you. Not to mention, then I’d have to change your name in my contacts.” She snickered. “So, I guess as long as you’re asking me for your own benefit instead of just being nice…then yes, I’ll go to dinner and be your go-between.”

  I waited in the bar area of Rose’s hotel while she changed. I wasn’t sure why the heck it was even necessary, but she was insistent. I didn’t argue because it allowed me time to call my mother and give her a lowdown of the topics that were off-limits for the evening: Vanessa, my divorce, and my time in the military. As soon as I told her I was bringing someone for dinner the questions began. Who is she? Is she more than just a coworker? How long have you known her?

  I assured her Rose was just some girl I worked with and that was all. The last thing I wanted was for my mother to get her hopes up and start planning the wedding she never got to plan with marriage number one. But as I took a chug of my beer and Rose entered the bar area now dressed in a floral sundress with her long brown hair falling in loose waves around her, I began to doubt what I had just spent the last five minutes trying to convince my mother of.