NS

by U

  With the pungent aroma slapping her face, she remained deep in thought until she pulled into the garage and walked around to the back entrance of the converted warehouse that was her home.

  Another example of inner-city progress.

  She made her way through the splash of color down the walkway. Candles flickered in the window. Smoldering scents of charcoal mixed with the evening air and reminded of her the uneaten sandwich in her desk drawer.

  “Isaac! I’m home.”

  “I’m up here. Come join me.” He yelled from her bedroom.

  Chelsea always loved his pampering, but cautioned her appreciative heart not to

  become accustomed to something that surely would not last. She found him in the bathroom, standing before a tub filled with bubbles and floating rose petals.

  “Your bath, madam.” He bowed slightly, hiding a wide smile.

  “And you are too kind, my dear man. Are you wanting me to relax or insinuating

  I’m dirty?”

  He pulled her into his arms. “Assuming you had a tiring day, I want you to relax

  in the tub while I put the finishing touches on dinner. Wait until I leave the room and slip your fine frame in the tub.”

  “Why should I wait until you leave the room?”

  He grinned and ran his hand over the curves of her back. “Because if I see you

  undress, you’ll never make it to the tub, dinner will be ruined, and we’ll both be hungry.”

  They kissed. The image that floated through her mind was powerful enough to

  take away her breath. She saw the two of them together, holding hands and walking into the sunset. Maybe Dee was right. Maybe he does want more than just a passing fling.

  She

  wondered if she should make a few hints and see what happened, but was still afraid to appear serious and scare him away. She relaxed in the warm suds, thinking of the many ways she found pleasure in having him in her life. Next came a rush of guilt for allowing Quincy’s uninvited comments to arouse her soul.

  “Bubbly for my lady.” Isaac was back with a tray and two filled glasses. “Shall I

  rub your back?” He passed one glass to her and held the other up for a toast. “To the most beautiful and charming woman I’ve ever known.”

  Without thinking, she responded. “To us. To our love.”

  A sobering expression replaced his smile. “Is that how you feel? Are we in love?”

  He gazed without blinking. Her heart thumped against her chest. “Hey, don’t go

  getting all mushy on me.” His expression changed to what she thought might be disappointment.

  She mended her statement. “I do love you, you know.”

  “How was your day? Any further signs of foul play—and don’t lie to me.”

  “There have been no more signs of foul play, but everyone made a fuss over what

  already happened. David was there today and two other officers are assigned to keep watch. I’m not sure if it’s for my protection or theirs. Felt like prison.”

  In the awkward silence that followed, Chelsea wondered if he was thinking of her

  safety or her earlier comment about their relationship. When he finally spoke it was to tell her that dinner would be ready in five minutes. Watching him lumber from the room, she wondered how someone so large could be so gentle. What’s he thinking right now? Did I respond incorrectly?

  Her uncertainty about his feeling did not shadow the reality of her own. Her heart swelled each time she looked into his eyes.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Isaac stopped outside the door and glanced at the hall mirror to see if his face resembled that of a dying man about to take his last meal. He loved her, but she was still back in the casual stages of their relationship, just as Frankie had been. His heart ached as it had back then. He wondered why women felt men were the only ones capable of using the opposite sex as a play toy and then tossing it aside.

  Going to the kitchen, he leaned on the counter and felt a heavy pounding in his chest. My damn fault! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Another dream turned into a nightmare.

  He thought of several other relationships and wondered if he ever caused as much pain to anyone as he now felt inside. His fist crashed into the kitchen counter. One thing’s for sure, I’m too damn old to cry this time.

  Pushing the flute of champagne aside, he took a bottle of Jack Daniels from the

  cabinet and filled a water glass. After two gulps, he rubbed at the pain in his chest and began making plans. He didn’t want to lose Chelsea but knew he could not continue the way things were going. The team would be leaving before the end of the week. He reluctantly prepared to spend the last of his closing stages with the second woman to break his heart.

  * * * *

  Chelsea knew of Isaac’s cooking skills but was surprised at the elaborately prepared meal waiting in the kitchen. A carefully arranged green salad with red bell peppers and olives, followed by steak grilled to perfection, roasted garlic potatoes and marinated green beans.

  “You truly are a master in the kitchen.” She sat across from him and smiled. “Did you start this early in the day?”

  “I started the meal before I went to practice and finished just after you arrived, but I wouldn’t go so far to say master—at least, not in the kitchen.”

  His leering smile put her at ease.

  “What about your opponent? Did he whisper in your ear again today?”

  “My boss requested a postponement. He didn’t want me to go in the courtroom

  after all the drama this past weekend.” Not wanting to lie again by omission, she added, “Quincy did call. He heard about what happened Saturday morning.”

  “What did he say, or am I’m being too intrusive?”

  She smiled but stopped eating. “You’re not being too intrusive. He just called to

  see if I was okay and expressed his concern.”

  “Think whatever you want, but I smell a great big old rat, and if I had to put a tag on his toe, I’d call him Quincy. He’s after you.”

  “I don’t know Quincy’s motives. I don’t know Quincy at all. I do know that the

  only man who can change things between us is you. We promised each other fidelity. If I feel a need to be with someone else, I’ll let you know before, not after it happens.”

  She changed the subject and started talking about her grandmother’s problem,

  which seemed to get his attention.

  “I can’t imagine how anyone could think they can scare Mama Rose away from

  that restaurant. What can I do to help?”

  “I’m hoping Uncle Larry diffused the situation. If not, we’ll have a mess on our

  hands.”

  “I’m quite fond of your grandmother. I don’t have one anymore, so I have plenty of extra compassion.”

  “You’re very compassionate.” She squeezed his fingers. “That’s one of the things

  I love about you.”

  “So how does that go? This love thing?”

  “What do you mean?”

  He clenched his jaw a second before speaking. “Nothing at all. Forget it.”

  Sensing his agitation, she stopped eating. “I came home and found you happily

  preparing a wonderful dinner. Now you’re sullen. Did I say something to upset you?”

  “Let’s drop it, okay?”

  Pushing his chair from the table, he left her there. The tension between them later became obvious when they were in bed. Instead of snuggling next to her, he lay on his back, silently staring at the ceiling. Chelsea cuddled next to him, splaying her fingers across his chest muscles and downward to the elastic of his briefs.

  “Dressed for bed tonight? That’s unusual.”

  He grunted softly, still staring upward.

  “What’s wrong, Isaac? If you’re upset because of something I said, baby, I’m

  sorry. You know I sometimes talk without thinking. Don’t withdraw this way. Let’s talk abou
t it, please.”

  “It’s nothing you said. I’m just a little tired.” He turned over and kissed her

  forehead. “Sleep tight.

  * * * *

  Finding it impossible to take his own advice, he watched her sleep. Every breath

  she took reminded him of the emptiness he would feel when she was no longer a part of his life.

  Coming home now meant knowing her arms would be there. He wanted love to happen, but knew he could not force it. From his observation, Chelsea was nowhere near the sinkhole in which he found himself hopelessly trapped.

  He went to practice the next morning as she was leaving for work, and returned directly afterwards.

  The answer to his dilemma seemed clear. It was just more painful than he had

  anticipated. He started packing the things he had at Chelsea’s house but had no luck finding words to end their relationship. Taking a deep sigh and a swig of bourbon, he picked up the phone, dialed and waited for the soothing voice he would never forget.

  “Hey. How’s it going?”

  “Isaac!” The lilt in Frankie’s voice turned to anguish. “I don’t know why you’re calling, but I am glad you did. Where are you?”

  “I’m still in town. Is something wrong?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it on the phone. Can you come over?”

  He headed uptown, driving much too fast. He tried to think. They had not spoken in a few weeks. Frankie had always been his rock, even after she married. He could not think of an instance, even during her mother’s illness that broke her down.

  After hearing the distress in her voice, he still was not prepared for the haggard face that stared at him when she opened the door. She fell into his arms. He held her head as she sobbed.

  “I could tell you were upset on the phone, but I’m starting to trip, so please tell me what’s wrong.”

  She straightened up but held onto his arm. “Richard filed for divorce. I knew it was coming. I can’t even say I’m sorry. There’s been a canyon between us for a long time. This is probably best for both of us, but it threw me for a good one.”

  “I’m sorry. When did this happen?”

  “Two weeks ago, but don’t say anything. I didn’t want Mama to know. That last stroke almost took her away. She adores Richard and I know she doesn’t want us to split. I see her everyday and lie my ass off about the reason Richard hasn’t been around.”

  “What can I do? Do you need money?”

  She let go of his arm and shook her head. “No. Richard offered me a nice settlement. All I have to do is go away quietly and allow him to share custody of the kids. Come on in. I’ll get us a drink.”

  He slapped his right fist into his left palm. “Son-of-a-bitch! Do you want me to have a little talk with the old fart?”

  Stretching her worried face into a small smile, she handed him a drink and went back to pour one for herself. “I’d love for you to kick his ass. He’s already jealous of our relationship.”

  “He knows about us?”

  “No, but he’s always been jealous of our friendship. I thought you knew. The last time you sent tickets for us to take the kids to your game, he grumbled all the way to the Superdome. I thought you could see it on his face when you came out to see the boys. I’ve never cheated on Richard. He’s a small-minded pig.”

  Isaac had long felt that men could discern attractions between his woman and

  other men. After all, he knew as well as he knew his name that something was going on between Chelsea and Quincy Beckman. “So he’s jealous because we’re close friends?”

  “That’s part of it, but have you looked in the mirror lately?” She winked. “Most

  men would be jealous of you.”

  His eyes fell. “I don’t know about all that. Tell me what happened. Why did he

  leave?”

  “He found younger stuff.” She sighed. “I guess it’s not the same after two kids.”

  He looked around the kitchen. “Where are Rich and Austin?”

  “With Richard’s mother. He went to a convention in Florida. I’m sure young stuff

  is with him. I’ve suspected he was cheating for months. I didn’t go out of my way to verify it.

  Maybe I should have. It wouldn’t have hurt any less, but I would like to have been the dumper not the dumped.”

  “I’m sorry you’re going through this. If there’s anything I can do, just say the

  word.”

  “You can do just what you’re doing now. Give me a shoulder to cry on. This is

  the first time I’ve cried since Richard dropped the bomb? I heard your voice and . . .”

  She crumbled forward, resting one arm on the bar and the other on Isaac’s

  shoulder. “Okay, enough about me. Tell me about you and Chelsea, or is she ancient history already? I know how your revolving door works.”

  After hearing her problems and seeing the anguish on her face, he didn’t dare spill his story. “Ay, you know how it is. I think it’s coming to an end.”

  “I don’t know if this is relevant, but I really like her. Is the end her idea or yours?”

  “I don’t know . . .” He paused, hoping to find an answer that didn’t cast

  culpability in either direction. “We had the same arrangement I’ve had with all the women I’ve dated. No lasting ties, but sooner or later one party always get clingy. I just think it’s best to pull apart before that bond becomes too tight. Know what I mean?”

  “Yeah. What you mean is you’re afraid of commitment.”

  He smiled, wishing her words were true. “Maybe.”

  “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I’ve always wondered what would have

  happened if the two of us had gotten . . .serious. Committed.”

  Her words hit him like a slap on a cold morning. “Come on. A together chick like

  you would never have gotten serious about a young punk.”

  “Right, but I would have gotten serious about you. As you just said, sooner or

  later. I’ve never had the same closeness with anyone that…no, come on. Don’t do this.”

  “What?” Frowns creased his brow and he remembered that she could usually read

  his thoughts. “What am I doing?”

  “Getting that guilty look. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I shouldn’t have

  told you. It’s just that Mama kept talking about the tears in your eyes when Richard and I drove away from the reception. She said you really cared for me, and I…let’s drop this and talk about something pleasant.”

  “We were pleasant, Frankie. I’ve also never felt the same with anyone else. Do

  you think we could have made it?”

  She shrugged. “I do think you should stop hiding from a serious relationship or

  marriage. In spite of what I’m going through now, I’m not sorry I married. I just wish it had been you instead of Richard. You know it’s sad that society never thinks twice when a man marries a younger woman, but women who marry younger men are persecuted.”

  “Your marriage to Richard produced two great kids and he’s not leaving you

  broke. It could be worse.” He thought of Chelsea, pregnant with their child. The ache in his heart grew. He held Frankie in his arms and promised to always be there if she needed him.

  “Things will work out. Who knows, maybe the next time around will be mind blowing.”

  Driving back to Chelsea’s, his regrets were many. Frankie had been, in his

  opinion, a sophisticated woman who could have had her pick of men. Knowing she had wanted him made him feel sad for both of them. It wasn’t a fear of commitment that confined his tongue, he thought. It was fear of rejection. After placing his things back in Chelsea’s closet, he decided not to make the same mistake twice. He would tell her how he felt and if she rejected him, at least there would be no regrets, because one way or the other, their relationship had changed.