Cut (The Devil's Due)

by Tracey Ward

  Crunch. Crunch.

  I hear Devo’s boots coming over the gravel. They tread leisurely. Steady as a heartbeat and I try to match my pulse to them. I try to slow myself down but I’m too nervous. I’m too afraid.

  I’ve never felt free to leave anyone before. Not my dad. Not Josh. Not Devo. There’s a terror that comes with separating from someone so deeply ingrained in your life. Like you’re considering giving up a kidney. It won’t kill you, but will you miss it? Will you regret losing it? Will you be the same without it?

  I don’t have the answers to any of those questions.

  And I don’t have time left to consider them.

  Devo comes through the door the way he always does; quietly. For such a big guy, he’s impressively stealthy. I’m a light sleeper, a cricket queef enough to bring me around, and Devo has always been careful because of it. It’s considerate of him. One of the many, many ways he’s been good to me over the years.

  It makes what I’m about to do so much harder.

  “Hey, babe,” he grunts, hoisting his big duffel off his shoulder and onto the ground.

  “Hey.”

  “Do we have any brew? My back is killing me from that drive.”

  “I think so. Yeah.” I got to the fridge to look. “If not, I’ll run over to the bar and get you one.”

  “Nah, that’s alright.”

  “We have one left.” I hand it over, the cold of the bottle biting into my fingers. They tremble slightly when he takes over the weight of it.

  His eyebrows come together quizzically. “You okay?”

  “I need to talk to you,” I blurt out.

  He pauses, his hand frozen on the twist top of the beer. He studies me closely, from head to toe, before pulling it off sharply. “Good news or bad news?”

  “Bad, I think.”

  “You think?”

  “I’m moving out.”

  He hesitates again. His wheels are turning, taking their time assessing the situation. What he feels about it is a mystery. He has one of the best poker faces I’ve ever seen. Even Raw, who kills at the game, can’t read him.

  “Where to?” he asks evenly.

  I shrug, the movement jerkier than I mean it to be. “I haven’t figured that out yet.”

  “When?”

  “Tonight.”

  His eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Tonight? You better figure it out fast, then.”

  “I also don’t… I’m leaving because I’m…I’m leaving you,” I finally manage. “I’m leaving us.”

  “You leaving the club too?”

  “I don’t know. I work here so I hope not, but if you want me to I—”

  “No, Harley,” he tells me quietly, sitting down at the small dinette. “I don’t want you to leave the club.”

  I frown, unsure. “But you’re okay with me leaving you?”

  “I haven’t decided yet.”

  “You seem okay.”

  “So do you. Do you want me to ask why you’re okay?”

  My stomach turns sadistically. “You can. If you want to.”

  “I don’t need to,” he tells me, taking a sip of his beer. He grimaces as it goes down. “I already know.”

  “What do you know?”

  “That you’re in love with Stratford.”

  Oh, fuck.

  I lick my lips. They’re bone dry and cracked. They taste faintly of copper.

  Devo nods into my silence. “Thanks for that.”

  “For what?” I whisper.

  “For not denying it. You’ve never been a liar. I like that about you.”

  “Devo, I—”

  “Never meant to hurt me?” he asks before brushing the thought away with a wave of his hand. “You aren’t. You couldn’t. We’re not like that, babe. We both know that. This isn’t a break up. It’s a change of address. That’s it.”

  “What about Josh?”

  “What about him?”

  “What are you gonna do?”

  “You mean will I go after him?”

  “Yeah.”

  “No,” he answers easily. “I don’t give a flying fuck about Josh Stratford. You wanna be with him, then be with him. I’m just glad you’re telling me now and not bringing him into bed with me.”

  I look down, my throat tightening painfully.

  Devo reads my reaction so easily.

  He slams his beer down on the table. “Goddamn it. You fucked him and then crawled in bed with me?”

  “No,” I reply adamantly. But then I remember that’s a lie. “Not recently.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “I slept with him the night before you brought me here. And then I left before he woke up. That’s why we didn’t talk for three years.”

  Devo runs his hand over his mouth, his eyes darkening angrily. “It was just that one time? Before you moved in?”

  “How many times have you gotten in bed with me after fucking other women?” I fire back, my temper flaring. “And I never asked you about it. Never.”

  “This is different.”

  “How?”

  He stabs his finger through the air, pointing at the club. “I have to see him every damn day. He’s getting offered a cut tonight. Do you think he’s going to say no to that?”

  My mind explodes in turmoil, unsure what to do with that information. Am I happy? Proud? Scared? All of the above?

  “Yes,” I answer Devo. “He’ll say yes. Of course he’ll say yes.”

  “He’ll be a Prospect and I’ll have to look at him and know he fucked you behind my back. I can’t trust him. That shit’s fucked up, Harley.”

  I want to say I’m sorry. I want to apologize for making his life difficult after everything he’s done for me, but I can’t. I won’t. The first step toward owning my life and my happiness is to stop apologizing for it.

  “I get it,” I tell him carefully. “I know it’s a mess and I know I made it, but this is what I want. He is what I want.”

  Devo stands abruptly, but I don’t flinch. He’d never hit me. It’s not the way he is. Hitting Josh, on the other hand…

  He tosses his beer bottle in the sink. It clatters inside, threatening to break before the contents go bubbling down the drain.

  “I don’t have time for this,” he tells me coolly. “I have to go inside and congratulate your boyfriend on becoming our newest Prospect.”

  “I’m already packed. I’ll be gone when you get back.”

  “You better be in the bar when everyone comes out to celebrate.”

  I blink hard, surprised. “You want me to stick around for the party afterward?”

  “He’s your best friend,” he replies sarcastically. “It’ll look weird if you aren’t there and I don’t want to answer questions about any of this tonight. Go wherever you need to go afterward, but be at that fucking party. You owe me that much.”

  I don’t know if that’s true, but I nod in agreement. “I’ll be there.”

  Devo leaves the trailer without another word. He bangs the door shut loudly behind him, the sound punctuating the end of the conversation.

  The end of us.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Josh

  I haven’t eaten all day. It’s starting to catch up with me. That and the nerves. It hasn’t been an easy day, even the good parts. The hot parts. The Harlow parts. My adrenaline was running high the entire time we were in the pharmacy. The fear of being caught, the thrill of being inside her, the agony of wondering if I’d lose her. I know she loves me, I know she wants me, but I don’t know for sure that she’ll leave Devo for me, no matter how hard she promises. I hate that I doubt her but I have every reason to. She’s a strong woman in a lot of ways but when it comes to what really matters, she has a history of being impressively spineless. The more something means to her, the more likely she is to cut it loose because she just can’t handle the pressure of caring that much.

  Her dad crippled her emotionally and I consider for the tenth time today going over
there and crushing his skull between my bare hands. It’s a gruesome yet satisfying image.

  “You okay, bro?” Skeeze asks from across the bar.

  “Yeah, I’m good,” I lie.

  He’s not a very bright guy, but I’m also not a good liar right now. He sees right through it.

  With surprising skill, he flips a shot glass over in front of me, filling it to the brim without losing a drop. “Here. You need this.”

  “What is it?”

  “What does it matter?”

  He has a point.

  I kick back the shot in one open throat swallow that burns in my chest like lava. I wince as I tap the glass back down on the bar.

  “Again,” I wheeze.

  Skeeze is quick to fill the glass. I catch a glimpse of the bottle this time. It’s bourbon. The cheap kind.

  When I finish the second shot, he raises his eyebrows and the bottle. I shake my head. If I have another shot, I could end up on the floor puking and singing. It’s my favorite thing to do when I’m wasted and it’s not pretty. I’ve seen video and Harlow is right; I can’t sing for shit.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Skeeze asks, pouring himself a glass of his own brew.

  I cough past the fire in my throat. “I’m nervous.”

  “Oh, Raw told you, didn’t he?”

  “Was he not supposed to?”

  “I don’t think it matters. It’s good that you know it’s coming.” He grins, bringing his glass to his lips. “You can prep your acceptance speech.”

  “I’d like to thank the Academy for the opportunity, but I’m not so sure I’m getting in.”

  “Why wouldn’t you?”

  I run the back of my hand over my mouth, avoiding his eyes. “I did something.”

  “Did you fuck Angela?”

  “Jesus, no!”

  “Easy, man. You could do a lot worse.”

  “I know. I meant no, I wouldn’t do that.”

  “Well, then, you’re probably good.”

  “I’m not so sure.”

  Skeeze nods, looking over my shoulder toward the back. “Looks like you’re about to find out.”

  I turn on my stool. Behind me, Kill is coming into the building. The door slams shut behind him. No Devo. He’s probably in his trailer. With Harlow.

  My stomach drops down into my shoes, churning like a hive of angry bees. I hear them buzzing in my ears. In every corner of my mind.

  “Dude, you need another shot,” Skeeze tells me sympathetically. “You look like shit.”

  “I feel like shit,” I mumble.

  “Sucks.” He pounds his drink before dropping the glass off in the sink. “Meeting’s starting soon. If you need to puke, go do it now.”

  I watch him wander into the boardroom but I can’t make myself follow. I can’t get my ass off this stool because I can’t get my mind out of the trailer out back. Is she doing it? Is she leaving him? Or is she fucking him hello?

  “Goddamn it,” I groan, running my hands through my hair.

  I sit there for ten minutes driving myself insane. People come and go, filtering into the boardroom one by one. Raw calls to me, gesturing for me to follow, but I give him the ‘one minute’ sign. He looks unhappy but he lets it go, heading inside without me.

  Bear goes in without looking at me. Hyde comes in through the back, nodding to me before disappearing. Every time I hear boots approaching, I wait for it to be Devo. The longer it takes for him to show, the more hope I foster that Harlow is actually doing it. She’s seriously leaving him, finally.

  When my phone lights up on the bar, I pounce on it immediately. Harlow is calling.

  “Hey,” I answer thickly.

  “Devo’s on his way in,” she tells me quickly, her voice surprisingly steady and strong. “He knows everything.”

  “Define everything.”

  The back door opens with a snap. Light pours in along with cool, fresh air. Devo steps in behind it.

  I stand on instinct, turning to face him.

  “Everything,” Harlow clarifies in my ear. “He knows we slept together three years ago and he’s pretty sure we’ve done it since.”

  Devo pauses when he sees me. His brow pinches, his eyes dark as ever, but he doesn’t say a word.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. He took it better than I expected.”

  “Okay.”

  “He’s there, isn’t he?”

  “Yeah. I have to go.”

  “Be careful, baby” she warns me, her voice taking on a tinge of nervousness. “I just got you. I’m not looking to lose you.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  I hang up without saying goodbye. Without taking my eyes from Devo’s. He knows who I’m talking to. He knows what we’re talking about. But I have no fucking clue what he’s thinking and I definitely don’t know what he’s about to do. I try to be ready for anything, but what he gives me is more disturbing than all the horrors I could imagine.

  Nothing.

  Devo stares at me silently for a good six seconds before nodding toward the door; inviting me in.

  I go slowly. He watches me the entire way, and I feel a very real fear that he might stab me in the spine once my back is turned. But I make it through the door without being fatally wounded, and that fucks with me more than if he’d done it.

  Devo closes the door behind us. Bear is sitting forward, his arms resting on the table. When Devo sits, he calls the meeting to order.

  “Most of you know why we’re here,” he tells the room. “We have three items to discuss. The first is what went on last night. Raw has given me the rundown, but, Stratford, I want to hear from you what happened after Raw and Skeeze left. Where do we stand with the law?”

  I relax a little knowing we’re not diving into my status with the club. It gives me a chance to breathe. “They’re investigating it as a home invasion and self-defense. That’s it. As far as they know, there were only three men who broke in, Raw and Skeeze weren’t there, and what was inside the filing cabinets was just papers. Old personal documents.”

  “Good. We have the pills in the safe. You can check the inventory later to make sure it’s all accounted for.”

  “I trust you.”

  Bear smirks, replying sarcastically, “Thanks for that.”

  “We’ve got a meeting with The Black Hawks tomorrow morning at dawn,” Kill tells the room. “Everyone will be there as a show of force. We can’t look weak at this thing. They’re saying it was all Prospects who tried to rob us, but I don’t buy it. Someone established in the club sent them on that errand. I want to know who that man is and I want him punished.”

  The guys knock their knuckles on the table in grim agreement.

  “Tensions will be high,” Bear warns, calling the commotion to an end. “We offed two of their guys. They’re not happy, but we’re not on the defense here. They came at us, unprovoked. Whatever we did to protect ourselves was justified. Don’t forget that. The good news is none of our guys were hurt and none of our product was touched.”

  “They took a phone,” I tell him, my stomach rising into my throat. The way it’s running through my body, it will have been on a hundred-mile journey by the end of the day. “It had the names and numbers of my contacts. I’ve had the phone line disconnected but they still have the address book. They can fuck with our customers.”

  Kill doesn’t like that. It’s written in the ridges of his brow. The long, straight stretch of his mouth. “We’ll want to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

  “Anything else we ought to know going in?” Bear asks me.

  “One thing,” I admit reluctantly. I tell myself not to look at Raw for any kind of support here. To keep him out of this the way I promised I would. Under the weight of Bear’s expectant stare, it’s easier said than done. The old guy is intimidating as fuck. “I had a friend when I first started out. I called him my relay. He had the phone that everyone called to make orders, not me.”

  Bear scowls
at me. “Why?”

  “I wanted distance from dealing. I didn’t want to be on campus going to class and get people hassling me about drugs. It felt too conspicuous. I hired my friend to be my relay and hand out a business card with the phone number on it. They’d call in orders to him, he’d relay them to me, and he’d set up an appointment for the two of us to meet for delivery. That’s my system, or at least it has been.”

  Bear glances at Raw. “You know this guy? This relay?”

  Raw shakes his head. “Nah. I never met him.”

  “I kept telling Raw he’d meet him later,” I explain. “But it never happened and now it never will.”

  “Why not?” Bear demands irritably.

  “Because I fired him. I cut him out of my life completely. He’s not an issue anymore.”

  “Hold on,” Hyde interrupts. “If he’s who people call for orders, not you, then he set up the meeting last night when you got jumped. He fucked you.”

  “The Hawks pulled a knife on him. They threatened his life if he didn’t do it.”

  “He. Fucked. You,” Hyde repeats clearly.

  “Yeah,” I relent. “He did.”

  “Meaning he fucked us,” Skeeze growls.

  “Unfortunately, yes.”

  “You’re gonna give us his name,” Kill tells me.

  I face him head-on, beg my balls to stay with me, and I shake my head. “No. I won’t.”

  The room falls silent. All eyes are on me.

  Not one of them, not even Raw’s, are friendly.

  “Son,” Bear warns me heavily, “you’re going to want to think about this very carefully.”

  “I have. And I’ve decided to stand by him. No matter what it costs me.”

  “Do you know why we brought you into this meeting with us today?”

  I swallow roughly. “I do.”

  “So you know what’s at stake?”

  “I’m pretty sure, yeah.”

  “And you’re sticking to this?” he asks evenly. “You’re standing by a man who sold you out?”

  “We both promised at the start that we’d do everything we could to protect each other. I gave him my word and just because he might have broken his, that doesn’t mean I’ll break mine.”