Gavin heard the sound of the harpsichord and violin before he opened the door to the music room, but he was unprepared for the sight that met his eyes. Sara was accompanying a grossly fat man who played the violin badly, at least to Gavin’s unappreciative ears, while a young exquisite Gavin didn’t remember having seen before, was staring at her with a rapt gaze. Watching this group, and apparently amused by what he saw, Ian Fraser lounged at his ease across the room.
“What in thunder is going on?” Gavin demanded of Ian, raising his voice to make it heard over the scraping of the violin.
“Monsieur Frederic is performing a duet with Lady Carlisle. Had ye come earlier, ye would have heard the poem Eric Cameron dedicated tae yer wife’s blue eyes.” Ian’s amused nod indicated the young exquisite.
“I’ll strangle the puppy,” Gavin growled, looking black. “How long has this been going on?”
“Only a few days, but if ye can judge by Lady Carlisle’s effect on the men o’ the district, ‘tis only the beginning.”
“The hell you say,” Gavin said, his voice loud enough to bring a grimace from young Eric and a reproving frown from Monsieur Frederic. “I’ll put a stop to this right now.” He walked over and unceremoniously took the bow out of Monsieur Frederic’s hand. “I must speak with my wife. Ian will show you out.”
“Gavin!” Sara exclaimed, delight at his return mingled with reproof for his abominable treatment of her guests. “I didn’t expect you back so soon.”
“I finished sooner than I expected,” he muttered, nearly swept beyond control by the warm welcome in Sara’s eyes. He still had to confront Ian about those rifles, but he was almost tempted to tell him to go away with the others. “Don’t leave, Ian. I must speak with you.” Ian cast an enigmatic glance at his friend, then ushered the affronted artists out of the room.
“What in the name of hell was that about?” Gavin demanded the moment the door closed. “I turn my back for one minute, and I find you alone with three men, one of them a besotted puppy, staring at you like you were frosting on a cake.”
“First, you turned your back on me for three days. Secondly, would you have preferred that I be with one man only?”
“No! You shouldn’t be with any man when I’m not about.”
“Were you never with a woman when I wasn’t about?” Sara was delighted with this show of jealousy, and she decided it was the perfect time to tell him about Colleen.
“None,” he said quietly.
“Not even Clarice?” Why was she always asking dangerous questions? Wasn’t it much better to let the past remain in the past?
“No,” he replied, and the tension between them seemed to evaporate. “My father assumed I went straight to Clarice, but I wanted to be alone. She only came to tell me of mother’s death.”
Sara had no idea how heavily that burden had weighed on her heart until it was lifted. Gavin had never been with anyone since he married her! She might not have captured his heart, but her hold was strong enough to keep him coming back to her even when he tried to stay away. She felt so happy she almost considered allowing Colleen back in the castle. Almost.
Sara took a deep breath and replied, “That’s what I told Colleen.” Gavin looked at her inquiringly. “She said she was quite fond of you and didn’t want to give you up.”
Sara would have been willing to bet that Gavin had never blushed in his whole life, but he did so now, and it did her heart almost as much good as it did to know he had not gone to Clarice. No matter what Gavin may have wanted to do or had done in the past, if he blushed Uke this, he was too ashamed ever to do it again.
“She actually told you that?”
“We had a very frank discussion,” Sara said, pleased to see the incredulity in his eyes. “I told her I was also quite fond of you, and that since you were my husband, I felt I had the stronger claim. She was rather stunned to find that a wife would actually enjoy her husband’s embraces, but once she had comprehended that notion—”
“You told her that?” Gavin asked in disbelief.
“I told you, we were quite candid.”
“My god, if my father were only here now,” Gavin said, starting toward the table where he snatched up a brandy decanter and poured himself out a large shot. “He thought you were practically a nun.”
“I see no reason for a girl of restricted upbringing to be incapable to adjusting to the world,” Sara said grandly. “But you’ve made me wander from the point.”
“There’s more?”
“Certainly. Colleen decided she couldn’t give you up until she found someone as good …”
“Someone as good!” Gavin choked.
“…but since she was forced to recognize the legitimacy of my claim, she offered to share you with me.”
“Share me!”
“Gavin, dear, you’re beginning to sound like an echo.”
“My god, woman, I’m not a pie to be cut into slices and passed around.”
“Colleen seems to think you’ve been passed around quite a bit already.”
Gavin didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or break out laughing. He compromised and poured himself another shot of brandy.
“Anyway, I told her I couldn’t agree to share you. At that, she declared she would fight me for you.”
Gavin couldn’t help it. He went into a shout of laughter. He was still doubled up when Ian returned.
“Maybe I shouldna left. Yer two gentlemen were no’ half as much fun.”
“It’s your cousin,” Gavin told him when he could control his voice. “She offered to share me with my wife, and when Sara declined, she said she’d fight her for me just like I was a meat pie to be haggled over.”
“So that’s what Colleen meant when she said ye wouldna have her here again.” Ian watched Gavin’s changing expression with hopeful heart.
“What do you mean, Sara won’t have her here?”
Sara couldn’t help but be a little irritated with Ian. She had planned to tell Gavin herself, but she had wanted to prepare him a little first. “I told her she could not come here if she intended to embarrass you by her determined pursuit. I can’t have my husband made the object of a determined pursuit in my own home.”
“It would add considerably to the entertainment of the evening,” Ian said, pure deviltry in his eyes.
“You stay out of this. I’ve got something to say to you later anyway.” Gavin turned back to his wife. “Are you trying to make a fool out of me? What do you think people will say, when they learn my wife has to protect me from other women?”
“I don’t imagine they will learn of it, and if not, they can’t say anything.”
“Aye, but they will. Colleen is already broadcasting it about tae all who will listen.”
“Damn the bitch!” Gavin exploded, heedless of Sara’s ears. “Why can’t she keep her mouth shut for once. I’ll be the laughingstock of the county.”
“I didn’t tell her she couldn’t come here at all,” Sara explained, “only that I wouldn’t have her pursuing you under my nose.”
“And what’s to stop her?” Gavin demanded.
“I told her I’d scratch her eyes out.”
“Aye,” Ian added, “and she believed you.”
Gavin’s anger was stopped in its tracks. He didn’t know if Sara would really throw Colleen out of the castle, but if she had made Colleen believe it, Colleen Fraser, a girl who had ridden bareback since she was two and wrestled anything in breeches since she was three, then she must have meant it. It was difficult for Gavin to picture Sara throwing Colleen out of any place she wanted to be—he found it impossible to imagine Sara losing her calm composure—but then he remembered the two nights they had been together, and realized there was much more to Sara than he knew. If she could talk openly with Colleen about sleeping with him, what couldn’t she do?
“We’ll finish this discussion later,” Gavin said to Sara, not nearly as displeased as he appeared, but unsure of how to proceed in such an unprece
dented situation. “I’ve got something to say to Ian.” He turned abruptly to his friend to cover his confusion. “W hat in hell did you mean by hiding rifles on my land? Do you know what could have happened if the wrong people had found them?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Ian said, feigning ignorance, but there was an ominous hardness about his eyes.
“The hell you don’t,” Gavin cursed, too wrought up to think of Sara’s sensibilities. “If Cumberland, or my beloved cousin, had gotten their hands on them first, I could be swinging from a gallows right now.”
Sara looked from one man to the other, horror and incomprehension in her eyes.
“And what about Sara? After you let her go prancing over half of England with your Prince and the rest of those idealistic fools, not to mention marching into Glasgow at his side, do you think anyone would believe she knew nothing about it?”
Ian’s cold gaze softened only slightly. “I didna mean to endanger Sara.”
“Lady Carlisle to you!” Gavin thundered.
“I said tae hide them where they would no’ be found.”
“Well, I found them in a cave on my land, one hundred and fifty Dutch-made rifles. Quite enough to put my family in permanent eclipse.”
“Ah well,” Ian said, recovering some of his composure, “since there has been no harm—”
“Is that all you can say, there’s been no harm? You and that damned foreigner—”
“I willna allow ye tae speak o’ yer rightful prince in that manner.” Ian’s eyes were cold and angry.
“He’s not my prince, and I’ll speak of him any damned way I please,” Gavin thundered back. “That man has no thought—and never has had any—for the lives he’s putting at risk. What will happen to him if you fail? He goes back to Europe and continues to live in safety and luxury. And what will he leave behind? Thousands of men dead, a country needlessly torn apart, and Cumberland on our necks for the rest of our lives.”
“I know ye canna see the justice o’ our cause—”
“Justice be damned!” Gavin practically shouted. “It’s suicide. I can’t stop you from putting your own head on the chopping block, but I’ll be damned if I’ll allow you to endanger Sara. Not to mention me and everybody else at Estameer.”
Ian’s eyes softened to sadness. “I admit I didna think o’ the danger. I told them tae use yer land, because I thought ye would at least be in sympathy with us.”
“Sympathy! After I’ve talked myself blue in the face for—”
“Not the prince. My own family, the ones who were treacherously slaughtered in the ’15.”
“You know how I feel about that,” Gavin said, in a much milder voice. “I will never lift a hand against you, and I’ve told Hawley and Cumberland the same, but I will not help you. You have no right to expect it of me.”
“Nay, I willna ask it of ye. Now, if ye will tell me what ye have done with the rifles …”
“I destroyed them.”
“Ye did what!” Ian cried, shock and fury turning him into a madman. He drew his dirk and sprang across the room toward Gavin, ready to strike. “Tell me ye lie. Tell me!” he shouted.
Utter panic clutched Sara’s heart; she felt like she couldn’t move, but she had to stop Ian. He would not hurt her, but in his madness, he might stab Gavin. Her body seemed immobile, then it moved too slowly, but somehow she managed to step between Gavin and Ian. The dirk came within inches of her throat.
In almost the same instant, Gavin pulled Sara aside with one hand and grasped Ian’s wrist with the other, his fingers digging into the flesh with maniacal fury, until Ian’s dirk clattered uselessly to the floor. All three of them froze, the horror of what had so nearly happened, locking them into position like so many mannequins.
“I destroyed them,” Gavin said at last, speaking in a quiet voice. “That was my only choice. I could not give them to you or to Cumberland.”
“I bought those rifles so the men would have some means of defending themselves,” Ian said between clenched teeth, his hand sinking to his side, his face a mask of pain and defeat. “Some have nothing but a dirk, others not even that. They cost me everything I have.”
“I’ll give you the money, but I can’t give you the rifles.”
“I willna take money from a defender of the German usurper,” Ian cried, unreasoning hatred turning his eyes a dark red. “I would kill you first.”
“I think you’d better leave,” Gavin said quietly. “And until you can think of something other than your fanatical loyalty to your prince, it would be better if you didn’t come back.”
Ian looked at him with dulled, listless eyes. “Ridding yerself of all yer dangerous baggage? Fat George would be proud of ye.”
“I won’t have you here, because you might harm Sara.”
“I willna hurt her.”
“You’ve already come too close. I can’t risk it again.”
“So that’s it?” Ian asked, his eyes now empty.
Gavin could not put the excommunication into words, but his gaze never wavered. After a moment, Ian quietly turned and left the room.
Chapter 21
“Gavin, go after him. You can’t let him leave thinking you hate him.” Sara’s shock at what had happened between Gavin and Ian far outweighed her joy in knowing that Gavin had been willing to jettison a lifelong friendship for her sake.
“He knows I don’t. Both of us were fools to think this rebellion wouldn’t come between us sooner or later, but I couldn’t have him jeopardizing your safety.”
“They really can’t win?”
“No.”
“What will happen?”
“I don’t know, but I’m afraid it will be worse than anything that’s come before. Hawley is out for revenge, because his own stupidity and arrogance made a fool of him, but I don’t think Cumberland will be much better. This rebellion has posed a serious threat to his father’s throne, and coming on top of the uprisings of ’15 and ’19, they’ve got to feel they must crush the power of the clans once and for all.”
“Can’t we help them?”
“No. I’ve already talked to everyone who’ll listen. They’ve had one victory after another, and they think they can continue.”
“Would Ian’s rifles have made a difference?”
“No. In fact, losing them may actually save some lives.”
Sara couldn’t understand how that could happen, but that wasn’t uppermost in her mind. Her coming to Scotland had caused Gavin to be separated from two of his oldest friends, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty. She didn’t mind too much about Colleen—though she liked Colleen, she couldn’t tolerate the thought of her being with Gavin—but Ian’s friendship was of a much higher order, and she knew that in spite of the wedge of jealousy her presence had created in their relationship, Gavin would soon regret the loss of this friendship.
“You didn’t have to do this for me,” Sara said, raising her eyes until she could look Gavin full in the face. “I could have gone back to London.”
Gavin knew he hadn’t done it just for Sara, but he also knew the threat of Sara’s having to return to London would have been sufficient reason in itself for him to ban Ian from Estameer for life.
“It wasn’t just for you. It was for everyone at Estameer, me included. And he would have endangered my father and possibly cast suspicion on Clarice and my friends. No, Ian had no right to jeopardize the lives of innocent people.”
“Would you have done the same thing, if it had been just me?” She shouldn’t push him, but she had to know what was in his heart. In the months since he had brought her to Estameer from Glasgow, her feelings for him had changed from youthful infatuation to a love built on trust and admiration. She had to know if there were a chance he would ever feel the same way about her.
“Yes, I would have done it just for you.”
“Why?”
How could he tell her that in a matter of a few short weeks, the relationships of a lifetime had changed s
o completely, he no longer knew his own feelings? No one could have been more surprised than he that, when he found those rifles, his only thought was of the danger their discovery could mean to Sara. He had been so busy worrying that falling in love would make him vulnerable, that he hadn’t realized he had already fallen in love!
“You’re my wife, I’m supposed to take care of you,” he said, trying to sidestep her question. “Besides, you were almost forced to marry me.”
But Sara would not be sidetracked. He may have been coerced into marriage, but he was not one to bend to any man’s will. He had opposed his father, the Stuart prince, Hawley and Cumberland, and the leaders of the rebelling clans—all men of great power and influence—and now he had turned his back on his best friend. His treatment of her had always been considerate, even though it wasn’t heartwarming, but something had changed in their relationship, and she was going to make him tell her what it was. “Are those the only reasons, duty and guilt?” She didn’t believe they were.
“Dammit, you know I didn’t do it out of duty and guilt.”
“No, I don’t. You’ve never told me what you feel about me.
He hadn’t told her, because things had happened so fast he wasn’t sure himself. But now he was. “You have become very dear to me, even necessary,” Gavin said, as he reached out and put his arms around her. “No matter what other reasons I might have for being angry with Ian, I couldn’t let him do anything to hurt you.”
Sara’s eyes were so filled with tears of happiness she could hardly see, but she refused to blink, to miss even one sliver of this wonderful moment.
“At first, I was so busy hating my father, I was filled with hostility and distrust. I thought you only married me for my position in society, and I didn’t want to like you. But when I saw you in Glasgow, and saw how everyone liked and respected you, I was forced to open my eyes and see what everyone else had been able to see from the first glance. I found I had married a beautiful woman of sufficient grace and courage to inspire admiration wherever she went. It didn’t take me long to see that no matter what your reasons were for marrying a virtual stranger, you were determined to devote yourself to making me happy. I don’t say you haven’t given me a couple of shocks, like banning Colleen from Estameer, but I could never doubt you did it because you care for me.
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