Pieces of Me

by Ann Garner

  “I've never been to a party before.” I whisper the words, knowing how uncool they make me. “I told you I was a loner in high school?” She nods her head. I can read the disbelief in her eyes.

  “Yeah, I wasn't kidding. I suck in social situations, like I might throw up suck.”

  Grace wrinkles her nose. “Gross.” She runs a hand through her hair. “Don't worry about it, Delaney, it's just my brothers and a few of their friends, and they're all super nice.”

  I must not look convinced because then she says, “If you start to feel uncomfortable at all, just let me know and we’ll leave. No big deal. But I promise you, you'll have fun.”

  I look at her for a minute longer trying to mentally gather my strength, and then nod my head.

  “Ok. Ok.” I manage to say. “Let's go before I do throw up.”

  “Seriously, if you throw up make sure it's in the grass. Todd threw up in my car once when I had to take his drunk ass home. It takes forever to get that smell out.”

  Chapter Three

  We finally get out, and I see that there aren't very many cars parked in front of the townhouse. I take that as a good sign. Grace walks right in and leads us straight to the kitchen, which is empty.

  She dumps the bag of ice into the freezer.

  “They'll be outside. They have a little patio area out there.”

  I follow along behind her, trying to squelch the panic I feel rising. I shouldn't have come. This was entirely too much for my first night here. I should have taken smaller steps.

  The roommate, the shopping, the general socializing I had done today, that was enough.

  This?

  This was way too much for me to handle.

  But I was here, and there was no way out without looking like a freak.

  The rising sound of voices can be heard as we get closer to the back of the townhouse. Loud boisterous male voices.

  Maybe looking like a freak would be worth it.

  Grace pushes open the back door.

  “Uh-oh!” I hear someone say loudly. “Trouble’s here. There goes fun Grant.”

  “Shut up asshole.” Grace laughs. “And behave. I brought my new roommate with me, so be nice. Or as close as you can be.”

  There are five guys standing around the porch. One of them I easily pick out as Grace's brother.

  He’s standing next to the grill, laughing at the antics of the others.

  His hair, just as black as hers, curls down across his forehead, the tips of his ears, and dances along the top of his shirt. He’s tall, standing what has to be almost a full foot above Grace, with broad shoulders that taper down into a trim waist. This all sits on long legs, the strength of which is evident under the khaki cargo shorts he wears.

  He topped the shorts with a black shirt, stretched tight across muscles that bulge and shift in his chest and arms as he moves. He has incredibly gorgeous navy blue eyes, framed by thick black lashes, and he is, by far, the most gorgeous specimen of male I have ever seen.

  I force myself to look away from him when Grace calls my name.

  “Delaney, this is Robby, Grant, and Todd. And those two assholes are my brothers Cole and Holden.”

  I watch as she nods her head to each one in turn. I never would have pegged Holden as her brother. In every way that Grace and Cole were dark, he was light. With soft blond hair he keeps short and soft shimmery green eyes. He is every bit as tall as Cole and has the same muscular build that screams of hours spent in the gym. He wears a pair of loose jeans and a red shirt and is the first to smile and step forward to greet me.

  “Hey, Delaney, it’s nice to meet you. Though I'm sorry to hear you got stuck with Grace as a roommate. I've lived with her before. It's rough.”

  “Hey!” Grace exclaims. “Don't fill her head with lies. I am a perfect roommate.”

  “You snore.” Cole tosses out the words from behind me. His voice is soft and low and seeps through my skin.

  “I do not!”

  “Oh, honey, yes you do.” Grant says with a laugh. He reaches out and grabs her hand, pulling her against him, brushing a light kiss across her mouth.

  Holden glowers at them both, but even I can tell it’s halfhearted.

  “How the hell would you know, Grant?” he asks, raising one eye brow. Grant just smiles and shakes his head.

  Grace shoots her brother a look. “Don't be an ass.”

  “So, Delaney, where you from?” Robby asks.

  “Oregon.” Grace puts in for me before I can answer. “We went shopping this afternoon, and worked up an appetite. Robby left us something to eat didn't he?”

  “Cole just put a couple burgers on for y'all right before you got here so they'd be safe.”

  Grant is tall and lean, and honestly looks like he should be working a runway somewhere. His face looks like it was etched from marble, and his eyes are the richest color of brown I've ever seen. He has light brown hair, scattered messily around his face. The two of them look beautiful standing together.

  “Where's Ally?” Grace directs the question to Holden. “I thought she was coming tonight.”

  “She got caught at work, she should be here soon. I think Robby's flavor of the week is stopping by soon too.”

  Robby makes a face. “Yeah, can we not call her that to her face when she gets here? She might take offense.”

  “Ya think?” Grace asked dryly. She looks to me. “Robby here is a bit of a male slut.”

  “I can't help it that the ladies love me,” Robby inserts.

  “I think he should make them all wear name tags so we don't accidentally call them the wrong name.” Grace continues as if Robby hasn't spoken at all. “Ally is Holden's girlfriend. I bet you he knows if she snores or not.”

  I can't help but laugh softly at the petulance in her tone. Holden sticks his tongue out at her in return before taking a big bite of the burger off his plate.

  In the past, when I’ve been forced into situations I find uncomfortable I’ve always had to concentrate on making myself relax. I use a process I learned a few years ago from research I did online. I focus on each part of my body in turn, from the top down, and imagine each one of them softening until they really do and the last of the tension leaves my body.

  Tonight, I find that, while I may not be ready to jump right in, I do not have to force myself to relax. I find comfort in knowing that nobody here has any knowledge of my before. It makes it easier for me to pretend, even for a moment, that there is no reason my before should dictate my now.

  Conversation flows all around me, but I don't make an attempt to join in. For me, for tonight, just allowing myself to be here is enough. I'm surrounded by a group of people who don't know the old me, the one I left in Oregon. There's no hint of scandal, no tint of shame as I stand here. It's the start of everything I ever wanted.

  “Hey, brat, your burger is ready.” Cole’s deep voice comes from behind me.

  I had studiously not been looking at him, as I was afraid once I did I wouldn't be able to stop. I seriously had never seen anyone as gorgeous as he was. Just standing in front of him, without even looking at him I had butterflies in my stomach.

  Grace rolls her eyes as she moves away from Grant and over to the grill, and the tiny table of food situated next to it.

  “What do you want on your burger?” All of a sudden Cole is standing next to me, close enough that I can feel the warmth of his body.

  “Oh, um,” I stare at him blankly for a moment, trying to force the words out of my suddenly dust dry mouth. “Just ketchup please.”

  “That's it? You want some chips too?”

  He slathers ketchup on a bun and drops a hamburger on top. He sets it on a Styrofoam plate and then adds some chips.

  “You didn't fix my burger for me.” Grace whines as she makes her own plate.

  “You aren't the sexy new girl,” Cole says.

  “I'm your sister.”

  “Exactly.”

  I feel my face turn about six different sh
ades of red as everyone laughs.

  How am I supposed to respond to that?

  Before I can think of anything even remotely coherent to say, Cole has moved to stand directly in front of me.

  Good Lord, his eyes are captivating.

  “We have beer in the fridge inside the house if you want.”

  I blink to force myself to focus. “Oh, um, bottled water would be fine.”

  His smile hasn't left his face and it only makes him more appealing. “Come on; let’s go get you a bottle of water.”

  I sneak a look to Grace, who is once again standing next to Grant, laughing at something Holden is telling them. She catches my gaze and I nod my head towards the house to indicate that I am heading inside. She just smiles and nods her head in return.

  Wiping my damp hands on my jeans I follow Cole inside. He leads me through the kitchen, dropping the plate he'd made for me on a small table just off the kitchen.

  “Have a seat,” he says as he opens the fridge and grabs two bottles of water before sliding into one of the chairs across from me. He slides one bottle of water over to me, and then opens the other for himself.

  “So you're from Oregon?”

  I nod my head. “Yes.” I take a small bite of the burger, chewing slowly. “A relatively small town in Northern Oregon called Tylaya.”

  “That's pretty cool. I've never met anyone from Oregon. What made you chose CMU?”

  I swallow another bite of burger and pick up a chip. “I’ve always wanted to go to the East Coast, now seemed like a good a time as any.”

  “Well, Oregon’s loss is our gain.” He reaches over and grabs a chip off my plate before leaning back in his chair. I wonder briefly what he means, but I decide not to question it tonight. Tonight I'm conquering fears, one battle at a time.

  “Grace said you're a junior this year.” I’m proud of myself for coming up with a logical question to ask him, even if it is a lame one.

  Honestly, I'm proud of myself for being coherent at all as he watches me eat in the tiny dining area.

  “Yeah, I'm studying business. What about you? What are you planning to study?”

  “History.”

  “Really?” His eyebrows shoot up as he speaks. “That's cool. History has never been my thing. I can never keep all those dates straight.”

  “I'm sure I'd suck at business. Everyone has their strengths.”

  He studies me for a minute while I try not to choke on my food while eating in front of him.

  “I wouldn't have pegged you for a history buff. You don't fit the image.”

  “Oh yeah? What image is that?”

  He has a dimple that flashes when he laughs. “I think of crusty old men in tweed jackets with patches on the elbows and a pipe in their mouth. Not sexy brunette’s with sad blue eyes.”

  Before I can ask him what he means the back door bangs open and Robby and Todd stumble in laughing. They stop at the fridge to grab a couple bottles of beer and that's when they notice us at the table.

  “Uh-oh,” Todd says. “We interrupted Cole getting his game on.”

  He swings into the chair next to me, snagging a chip off my plate on the way. Apparently food isn’t safe around any of them.

  “They call Robby the male slut, but Cole’s the one you really need to look out for. He can talk a girl out of her panties in like five minutes flat.”

  “Jesus, Todd, shut up.” This comes from Robby, whose leaning against a counter in the kitchen.

  Cole is just leaning back in his chair, with a half-smile on his face, that one dimple showing, watching me.

  “What? She'll hear it sooner or later. He may love ’em and leave ‘em, but he always leaves them happy.” Todd smirks at me. “The girls are lining up for a chance at Cole.”

  “Todd. Seriously. Shut up.”

  “It's alright,” Cole says. “It's only the truth.” He winks at me. “I do leave them happy.”

  I feel the heat steal up my cheeks, which only makes Todd laugh harder and Cole smile wider.

  “Look at that blush! When's the last time you saw a girl blush like that, Cole?”

  Todd leans in closer to me, studying the blush on my cheeks, and I instinctively lean away from him, but he only leans closer into me which causes me to lean even further away.

  If this continues, in a couple of seconds I'm going to be flat on my ass on the floor.

  It's preferable to being that close to Todd though.

  My gaze involuntarily flicks to Cole for just a moment, and I see that the smile on his face has dropped. He looks to Robby, and something passes silently between them before Robby steps forward and claps Todd loudly on the back.

  “Come on, buddy. Let’s go outside and wait for Marcy. Maybe she'll bring you a friend,” Robby says cheerfully.

  Todd smells of beer and stale cigarettes, and the moment Robby guides him away I take in a deep breath of clean air.

  The smell of alcohol makes me nauseous.

  “You alright?” Cole is studying me, and I do my best to pull all emotion off my face so he can't see anything I don't want him to. “He's mostly harmless,” he says, smiling again. “And totally an idiot.”

  He's touching my arm, and the warmth from his fingers and palm spread throughout my entire body like wildfire. It throws me off and for a moment all I can do is stare at his hand where it touches my skin.

  “Delaney?” he says my name softly and I jerk my head up to look at him. Those gorgeous navy eyes have deepened with concern.

  It doesn't surprise me that he has girls lining up for a chance with him. If he keeps looking at me like he is right now, I might try to jump to the front of the line.

  “Yes, I'm sorry. He just surprised me, getting that close.”

  Cole leans back in his chair again, his hand sliding away from my arm. My skin feels oddly cold at the loss of contact. What in the world is wrong with me?

  “He's had a little too much to drink.” He brings a smile back. “But you should get used to guys getting that close to you.”

  “Really? Why's that?” I murmur, not really expecting an answer.

  “I told you, sexy brunette, sad blue eyes. Every guy on campus is going to want you. We like rescuing damsels in distress, it makes us feel manly.”

  I frown, which causes Cole to laugh.

  “Don't look so shocked, Del, surely you've looked in a mirror, you must know how gorgeous you are. Or are you one of those girls who pretend she doesn't know so you can get compliments?”

  “What? No! I realize I'm pretty, or not ugly. Oh my God, that makes me sound shallow.”

  He's still laughing at me as he says. “It doesn't make you shallow to admit you know you're pretty. Although I think pretty is too tame a word for what you are.”

  Before I can stop the words, I say, “Are you hitting on me?”

  “Ouch.” He laughs again, wincing. “If you have to ask then I must not be doing a very good job.” He runs a hand through his hair, much the same way Grace does, and shifts the inky black strands around his face.