The One I Love

by Mia Ford

  “So, here we are,” she said with a deep breath. “I want you to promise to hear me out completely before reacting.”

  “All right,” I said suspiciously.

  “This is my company,” she said. “I own a pet care business. I’ve owned it since after graduation, like I told you. It started out as a small business out of my parents’ house, and it grew fast. So, last year, we bought this building, and the rest is history. We board dogs, care for them, do minor treatments for fleas, vaccines, stuff like that. And I take in puppies that people can’t find a home for. I take care of them and then find them homes through my network of people.”

  “Wow,” I said, completely blown away that she had kept this from me.

  “When you told me your story the last time I saw you, I freaked out,” she admitted. “I mean, I didn’t purposely never tell you that I owned this. In fact, I thought I had. But when you told me the story, I realized that it was going to look like I hid it from you. Leena, my best friend, and I have made this our career, building it from the ground up. Animals have pretty much become my life. Your story broke my heart. I mean, it really broke my heart. I know that dogs can be bad, the ones that are mistreated, abused, and even inbred, but what I know of them is smart, kind, and compassionate beings. I thought maybe if I brought you here and introduced you to some of my puppies, it might help you move past your fear. I thought maybe it could help you, and at the same time, explain why I went off the grid.”

  “That’s a really sweet story,” I said, feeling the anger rising in my chest. “No, really. You put a lot of thought into how to ‘help’ me. But I don’t need your help, Reese. I need you to respect my feelings on things. You think that me going to some animal care facility and playing with some puppy will magically cure me? I’m not going in there, end of story.”

  “Blaine, I—”

  “No,” I said, interrupting her. “You really have some nerve, coming into my life, making me trust you, and then pulling this kind of shit. Do you really think that animals have all the answers? Because if you do, there is something seriously wrong with you. Animals are just that, animals, and they are unpredictable, sometimes mean, and definitely not what I want to see on my Sunday afternoon. You know what? I don’t want to do this anymore. Take me home.”

  “You don’t want to do what?”

  “This,” I said, motioning between the two of us. “Any of this, really. You had no right to bring me here and put me on the spot like this. It was immature and inconsiderate, and if you didn’t see that from the beginning, then you and I shouldn’t see each other anymore. God, Reese, how stupid can you be?”

  “Enough,” she yelled, gritting her teeth. “I get it. I get that you want to go. I don’t need to hear anymore. I’m sorry for this. I really thought that you would at least give it a chance.”

  “Why? Because you feel sorry for me?”

  “I don’t feel sorry for you,” she said quietly. “I just wanted you to be a part of my life, but that doesn’t matter anymore.”

  She pulled out of the parking lot and stepped on the gas, heading back toward my apartment. Part of me wanted to feel bad, but in that moment, I was absolutely livid. She had tried to back me into a corner, and I never did well when someone tried that. I liked to be in control of my own life and not be forced to do things that made no sense to me or made me uncomfortable as hell. She had no idea how I was feeling and what it meant to be truly afraid of something like that.

  When we arrived back at the complex, she pulled up out front and kept her body facing forward. I looked at her for a moment and shook my head, expecting her to say something, but she stayed silent. I could see the tears pulling at her eyes, but I just looked down, grabbed the handle of the car door, and got out. As soon as the door was shut, she drove off, and I turned, furiously walking toward the building. I steamed all the way to the top floor, trying to tell myself that I had every right to be angry. At first, I paced the floor, but after about twenty minutes, I calmed down enough to sit on the couch and start to really think about what happened.

  I knew Reese, even if we hadn’t been dating that long. I knew her, and I knew she wouldn’t intentionally do something to make me upset or angry. Still, I couldn’t believe that she had put me in that position. I started to question my reaction, though, and wondered if maybe I had been too hard on her. She was a sweet person, and it was obvious from her reaction to my story that she was terrified to lose me. I believed that she really thought that this was the best answer to the issue. She really believed that she would be helping me get past the horror from my childhood, and it was obvious that she really cared about these animals. She wanted to share that with me, but after I told her what happened, she didn’t know how to handle it. This was so confusing, especially since I was finding it really hard to believe that I had just completely broken things off with her. I never made emotional decisions, because when I did, things like this happened.

  Still, standing there in my apartment, staring out at the Philly skyline, I couldn’t help but think about all the times I dropped friends, girls, and even family members because they wanted to push a dog on me. If I knew you well enough to come to an intimate gathering at your house, then you knew I couldn’t handle dogs, but people still tried to force me to like them, waiting until I arrived to let the dog out around me. I didn’t understand what these people didn’t get about the fact that I didn’t want to be anywhere near these kinds of animals.

  I really liked Reese a lot. In fact, I was pretty sure that I was falling for her in a big way. I knew that I wouldn’t be anywhere near this upset if I didn’t have strong feelings for her. However, what was happening now was me facing down my pride and trying to decide if this intrusion on my comfort was bad enough to let her walk away forever. I wasn’t very good at these kinds of things, nor did I have anyone I could talk to about it, so I was left alone, bending my brain and trying to decide what I should be doing. I considered asking my AI but realized she would do nothing more than point me to whatever internet search was triggered when I asked the question. Besides, Caleb had already warned me that the day I start talking to my AI was the day he’d put me in a home.

  I didn’t know what to do, but I did know that a life without Reese seemed completely unbearable.

  Chapter 20

  Reese

  I trudged into work, knowing that not only was it Monday, the beginning of my week, but I had to deal with what had happened the day before. I knew that Leena had warned me to be prepared for the worst, but that advice went in one ear and out the other. I was not prepared at all for how Blaine reacted, and it made me feel absolutely terrible. I made him come to the shelter, thinking if he had no way out he would face the music, but obviously, no matter how good my intentions were, that was the worst way to handle the situation ever. I never meant for him to react the way he did, but it was definitely textbook panic from someone who had a phobia. The biggest thing I was struggling with was the fact that I didn’t just fail at my attempt to help him, but I also went and got myself dumped by the only guy I had ever fallen in love with.

  What I should have done was sit down and talk to him, tell him the truth before just springing something like that on him. I should have given him the choice, knowing that even if he refused then, maybe over time he could inch his way into it. Instead, I went blowing through his life, making choices for him, and playing psychiatrist. If it were that easy to cure his phobia, he would have already done it.

  God, I felt like such an idiot, and my heart hurt so bad. What a way to end one of my very first, truly serious relationships, by getting my heart broken by my own doing, dealing with a pissed off man by my own doing, and now, left with an extreme amount of guilt, also by my own doing.

  I stood at the counter, my eyes puffy as hell from crying all night long, and stared out the window at the cars passing by on the street. I was in a self-loathing mood, and even though I knew going to see my pups would make me feel better, I didn’t feel
like I deserved to feel better. I had been such an ass. I shook my head as I heard footsteps approaching, taking a deep breath and putting on a brave face. I turned around to find Leena staring at me, a look of worry plastered on her face. She tilted her head to the side and walked forward, pulling her arms around me and hugging me tightly. I guessed my fake brave face wasn’t as convincing as I thought. Leena never hugged anyone.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, brushing my hair from my face. “You look like someone ran over your hamster.”

  “No,” I said, trying to fight back the tears. “I’m not okay at all.”

  “That bad, huh?”

  “Worse,” I said with a sigh. “My life is over.”

  “Okay, let’s take the drama down like two notches,” she said sweetly as she chuckled.

  “Sorry,” I said, pouting. “I ruined everything, and even though you warned me, I didn’t see it coming at all. The total destruction of my personal life blindsided me, and I was left stuttering to myself through tears and vodka.”

  “Oh.” She grimaced. “It was vodka bad?”

  “It was drink anything I could get my hands on bad.” I sniffled. “I would have downed malt liquor if it were my only choice.”

  “Lord, Reese,” she said, guiding me over to a chair. “Tell me what happened.”

  “Well, I called him after we got off the phone that night,” I said. “And I apologized for being distant and asked if he would let me cook him breakfast and take him somewhere that would explain why I disappeared. He was all about it, and so the next morning, I showed up bright and early, fixed him his favorite breakfast, and I drove him over here.”

  “Okay, what happened then?”

  “I told him everything,” I said, shrugging. “I told him how you and I owned this place, how I hadn’t realized that I didn’t tell him what kind of business it was until after hearing his story, and how I thought bringing him here would help him move past his fears.”

  “And I’m assuming this is where it got bad,” she said, grimacing again.

  “He freaked out on me, called me selfish, told me animals were just that, animals, and then,” I said, starting to cry. “And then he broke up with me and jumped out of the car when we reached his apartment.”

  “Wow,” she said, leaning back. “That is bad.”

  “You’re supposed to be the one with the wisdom that makes me feel better,” I said, crying. “Where is your wisdom, damnit?”

  “Reese,” she said, sighing. “I don’t even know what to say about all of that. I mean, he had a point in the way he reacted, and we knew that it might happen. We just hoped it wouldn’t. Listen, if he truly feels that way about animals, and he couldn’t even handle coming in to see a puppy and to try to share your life with you, then he wasn’t the right guy for you to begin with. I know you are crushed. Trust me, I know what that feels like, but think about who has always been there. Those little fur heads in the back that are sad as hell because you haven’t shown your smiling face yet today.”

  “Do you really think that? That he wasn’t the right guy for me?”

  “I think that if he couldn’t get past his fear and see that you’re living your dream and that you were honestly trying to help him, then no, I don’t think he was the right guy for you,” she said. “I mean, has he tried to contact you today? Maybe he’s calmed down enough to revisit the whole breaking up thing.”

  “No.” I sniffed. “He hasn’t contacted me at all. His fear of dogs is so bad, and I should have seen that from the beginning. It’s really hard for me to understand because I love them so much. Dogs, and cats for that matter, have been a source of therapy for me my entire life. I love them like I love people, probably more than that. They are loyal, sweet, kind, and they go out of their way to be close to you, especially when they sense that you are ill or sad, or any of those things.”

  “That’s right,” Leena said. “Animals are what brought us the most joy. They brought us an ability to care for ourselves, and in the darkest hours, we can go to them and they never shove us away.”

  “I guess I just really wanted him to see animals the way that I do,” I said, standing up and walking to the door. “I wanted him to feel the same love that they gave me every single day without fail.”

  “And I get that,” Blaine’s voice echoed as he stepped around the corner and stood at the desk.

  My mouth dropped open, and I looked over at Leena, who was looking back and forth between both of us. She looked over at me and signaled for me to wipe my eyes, since my makeup was probably streaming down my face at that point. I took a deep breath and fixed myself, slowly walking toward him. Leena looked uncomfortable and started to back away.

  “I’ll be in the kennel if you need me,” she whispered.

  I nodded my head and walked up to the desk, putting my head down and wringing my hands together. I didn’t know what to say beyond what he had already heard. I wanted to hug him, kiss him, and thank him for coming here, but I wasn’t even sure why he had come back. I watched as he looked around the lobby at the different pictures of animals on the walls. I could tell he was nervous being there, but he had put on his brave face and come inside to talk to me. I didn’t want to be presumptuous and start talking, but the silence was killing me.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “I’m not fully sure,” he said, smiling. “I mean, I was really angry with you, like really angry, but once I calmed down, I started to understand better why you did what you did.”

  “Blaine, I never meant to back you into a corner,” I said, shaking my head. “I care about you so much, and I was terrified that me owning this business was going to make you want to break up with me. In the end, you ended up breaking up with me anyway. I should have come to you, sat down with you, and explained what happened. I guess I’m not very good at these things yet, and I tried to help you instead of realizing that you were strong and independent and didn’t need my help.”

  “That’s not necessarily true,” he said, smiling. “I think you had a really good idea going there. I think that you may have been on to something. So, I didn’t just come here to apologize for lashing out at you and beg you to be my girlfriend again, but I thought maybe you could show me around. Who knows? I might actually see a puppy I want to pet.”

  I walked around the desk and ran right into his arms, hugging him tightly and kissing him on the cheek. After all of that, he really did care about me like I thought he did, and he was willing to forgive me for what I had done. I was more than ecstatic.

  “You don’t owe me an apology,” I whispered. “And of course, I want to be your girlfriend. Come on. Let me show you around.”

  I took him by the hand and led him through the building, showing him the different rooms, including the kennels. I could tell he wasn’t quite ready to face one of the adult dogs, so I showed him into the room where Mr. Floppy was tormenting his brothers and sisters. I picked him up and walked over to Blaine, watching him timidly put his hand out and then relax as the puppy licked his fingers. It was a really amazing moment between the two of us. It didn’t mean I could expect him to go start a farm for dogs or even get near the kennels anytime soon, but it was a start. By the end of the day, he was walking around, holding Mr. Floppy under his arm and watching as we did our work.

  “All right,” he said, handing me back the puppy and leaning in to kiss my lips. “I have to get going. I have work I missed today, but thank you for all of this. It was nice.”

  “Anytime,” I said, smiling. “This is where I am five days a week, sometimes more.”

  “So, do you want to come over tomorrow night and have dinner?”

  “I would love to,” I said, smiling big.

  “Great, I should be there by six, and I’ll get take-out, so you don’t have to cook,” he said sheepishly. “I would cook, but no one wants to see that happen.”

  “All right.” I laughed, waving as he turned and walked out of the building.

&nbs
p; I picked the puppy up to my face and kissed his nose, congratulating him on a job well done. That man was so full of surprises, and I couldn’t believe how much my day had turned around. I really cared about Blaine, even more than I thought I did before, and from the looks of his change of heart, he felt the same way too. I couldn’t wait to see what the future would hold for us.

  Chapter 21

  Two Months Later

  Blaine

  “Hey, sweetie,” I said with worry in my voice. “How are you feeling?”

  “Like death,” she said. “I don’t know. I just feel like my stomach is being bulldozed over, anytime I even move.”

  “Are you eating anything?”

  “I’ve tried, but it doesn’t even make it to digestion before it comes back up,” she said weakly. “It’s like the stomach flu from hell.”

  “Aww, well stay inside, stay warm, and just lay there on the couch,” I said. “It sucks now, but I’m sure it will pass. These things don’t tend to stick around long.”