Truly, Madly, Deeply

by L. S. Scott

  I slid his pajama pants off and tossed them aside, pausing briefly to admire all of him. He smirked back at me. I removed my t-shirt and pulled my panties out of my crack and stepped out of them. My eyes locked with his, swirling and deep, drawing me in to that deep blue abyss that threatened to drown me. I deliberated for a minute, unsure if I wanted to start at the bottom and work my way up, or start at the top and work my way down. When he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, strung tight with anticipation, my decision was made. His puckered lips beckoned me.

  Slowly, carefully, I mounted him, trapping his pulsing erection between our bodies, drenching him with my arousal. His hips moved reflexively, trying to cause friction.

  “No,” I ordered, my face just inches from his. “Be still, please.” I wanted to prolong the experience, drawing out each decadent touch.

  I rubbed the tip of my nose against his sweetly, he smiled and blinked lazily. I brushed my lips against his, letting my tongue sweep across them, then withdrew. I gave him a second to process the touch, when the pleading for more pooled in his eyes, I took his mouth and made slow, sweet love to his lips with my tongue, drawing in deep breaths to suck the air out of him. His chest heaved and his body shook as he fought to be still and keep his hands off me.

  I caressed the side of his face, letting my hand trail down his neck to rest around his throat. He held my throat possessively when he was in control, letting me know who I belonged to, making me say, who I belonged to. In that moment, with my hand around his throat, his body shaking for me, I felt so powerful. I put my lips to his ear and ran the tip of my tongue around the outside before kissing his ear the same way I had his nipple. I felt his chest rumble underneath me as he groaned and his hands came unclasped. I grabbed them and held them in place.

  “Please, be still,” I asked again in his ear.

  He shook with each breath, but threaded his fingers back together. I returned my fingers to his throat and moved my hips only slightly, sliding up his length and back down only once. My body shivered when the tip grazed over my swollen clit.

  I pressed my lips to his ear. “Who do you belong to Jaron,” I whispered.

  “You baby, I belong to you,” he declared, his voice more ragged and desperate than I had ever heard.

  “Say my name,” I demanded.

  “You Natalie, I belong to you.”

  I smiled against his skin and slowly descended his beautiful body, paying attention to every curve, tracing every contour with my tongue, down one thigh, up the other, careful not to touch the most eager part of his body. The air hissed through his teeth as his breathing became panting. I wanted him to beg, the same way he made me beg him time and time again. So, I kissed him everywhere, except there.

  “Grrrr,” he growled in needy frustration.

  “What do you want Jaron?”

  “Suck me, or fuck me, just please touch me,” his voice was desperate and pleading.

  I chuckled, a satisfied, mischievous giggle, the same as the one I heard from him when he had me wound tight around his finger. Even though I knew he could take me whenever he wanted, it was deeply satisfying that he was fighting his hedonistic drive, just to please me. As reward, I took him in my mouth, tasting my own saltiness. I licked from base to tip, teasing and taunting, before taking him all in. Just the way he liked it.

  “Oh my fucking God,” his hands tangled in my hair, but I didn’t stop him.

  I let him guide me up and down his length and take complete pleasure in my mouth, until I felt he was getting too close. I pulled my mouth away with a pop as I sucked. He groaned as his orgasm slipped just outside his reach.

  I climbed back on top of him, my throbbing clit hovering just above his pulsing tip. It jerked and reached up to tap me lightly as if it had a mind of its own. The corners of my mouth curled up in a smile as I pressed my lips to his.

  Sitting upright, I lowered and pressed against him and began rolling my hips painfully slow. Rubbing all the way up and down his length, letting his head work my clit, just the way I needed. I let him clutch the tops of my thighs and I cupped my breasts with both hands. His eyes flamed in the glow of the forgotten television as he watched me.

  “You’re so fucking flawless,” he declared.

  He raised his hips while pulling down on my thighs to press harder into me. I held my pace, the tension inside me building.

  “That’s right,” he coaxed. “Come for me baby.”

  Instantly I stilled, closing my eyes and taking long deep breaths, backing away from my own bliss. I squeezed his wrists, digging my nails into his skin. When I opened my eyes I found him studying me intently. I lowered, taking his lower lip between my teeth and biting hard enough to break the skin.

  “Aww,” he growled, fisting his hands in my hair, but holding me in place rather than pulling me away.

  He kissed me, deep and hard, his hunger almost out of control. I pampered his bruised lip with my tongue, tasting a salty drop of blood. It took me back to that first night, that first kiss.

  With a shift of my hips I finally took him in, sliding all the way down his length. He groaned a deep sigh of relief into my mouth. I sat up and pulled him to me. He swung his legs to the floor and leaned his back against the couch. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him close, burying his face in my neck. His hands splayed across my back, holding me tight against him. His teeth sank into me.

  I rocked my hips sliding him in and out while grinding into him at the same time, a combination of friction that sent me hurling to the edge. I clenched my walls around him, bearing down with every ounce of strength I had.

  “Fuuucckk,” he hissed through gritted teeth. “Don’t stop baby, please don’t stop,” he begged.

  There was no way I could this time. I moved frantically against him, tightly wrapped around him, until me body seized the rock hard shaft inside me, convulsing and pulling at it in waves of ecstasy. A sound escaped my body that was somewhere between a moan and a whimper and I tugged at the back of his hair as I came undone around him.

  His hips began to buck, bouncing me up and down on him. Each impact sent shock waves of pleasure through my body, until he exploded inside me. He clutched me to him as his body quaked beneath me.

  “Don’t ever doubt that I love,” I whispered shakily in his ear.

  It was the end of my very last Monday of high school. Four more days to go and I would officially be a high school graduate, and in a few months, a college freshman. Butterflies fluttered around my stomach just thinking about it. Jaron had not completely changed his stance, but he was less resistant every time we discussed it. I had decided I was going to recruit Janna to help me convince him at our weekend dinner. I reached in my backpack to pull out my phone before it occurred to me, I no longer had one. The last time I saw it, Jaron was sweeping the pieces of it off the kitchen floor.

  I jerked open the door of the Bronco, frowning, trying to figure out what to tell Jake. It wasn’t fair to ask him to replace it, but I had to let him know it was broken. There in the seat was a small box with a letter tucked under the corner.

  Natalie,

  I owe you a phone. You can let Jake know to take you off his plan. It’s not his responsibility anyways. I should’ve done it a long time ago,

  Hope you like the color.

  Tuley,madly,deeply,

  Jaron

  I opened the box to find a brand new hot pink razor. It was charged and ready and had one number programed in it, Jaron’s.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Graduation was a week away. The senior class was already out, and Janna and Greg were coming to dinner to celebrate. Jaron sent me on a quick trip to the store for something he had forgotten, which was rare. He was always prepared and seldom sent me out alone.

  I mulled over my next step. I had applied to three Arkansas colleges and two in Texas, just in case. I knew Jaron would throw a rod if he knew I had even contemplated a Texas school, but it wasn’t like I was going to go or anything. I
was stressing because I hadn’t heard anything from any of them. No acceptance letters. No awards letters, nothing. I was holding out hope that Ms. Hawkes, my high school counselor, had gotten word, but she had been out sick for several weeks.

  I had been pilphering through the mail every day for the last six weeks or so, but nothing. When I returned from the store, I stopped at the mailbox at the end of the drive, on the off chance that there was news in the Saturday mail delivery. I grabbed the stack that was there, Jaron had obviously forgotten to get it on Friday, and jumped in the truck. I sifted through it quickly, scanning the envelope faces; electric bill, gas bill, something from car insurance, then fourth in the stack, there it was. The school moniker in the left corner was Texas State University. Then, fifth and sixth in the stack was a letter from Arkansas Tech University and U of A. I couldn’t contain my excitement. Texas and Fayetteville were both out of the question, but Tech was only a thirty minute drive and was the one I had settled on in my mind. It was one of the fastest growing colleges in the state.

  I gunned my truck to the house absolutely bubbling over with excitement. But I couldn’t wait to get inside. My excited fingers ripped into the envelope while I sat in the drive way. My eyes scanned the copy quickly looking for the words “you’ve been accepted” and I found them. But, it was the rest of the contents of the letter that caused the strongest emotion, and that emotion was not happiness.

  Miss Natalie Mills,

  This is our second attempt to reach you to inform you that your application has been approved and you have been accepted to Arkansas Tech University for classes beginning Fall 2007.

  Please contact our office as soon as possible to set up an appointment to discuss financial aid, if needed and registration.

  Thank You,

  Nancy Guist

  Second attempt? I felt my heart rate starting to elevate. My teeth started to grind and my jaw was clenched so tightly it started to ache. I ripped into the other letters. Each read similar to the first. All second attempts. I had been accepted at every school I had applied for and not one acceptance letter had made it to my hands. I simmered for a few minutes in the truck before considering all the possibilities. Maybe one letter could get lost in the mail, but not four. He had kept them from me, discarded them like they were not important. Like my dreams, my aspirations were meaningless. All that mattered was what he wanted, what he needed.

  I bailed out of the truck and stomped my way into the house. I slammed the door with all my strength, so hard it rattled the windows. Jaron hated a door slam. He snapped his head around to investigate. I met his disapproving scowl with one of my own. I tossed the grocery bag on the counter, spilling some of its contents into the floor. I paid no mind to Janna and Greg who had been sitting at the bar visiting with Jaron as he cooked. Jaron dropped the potato he was peeling and turned his full attention to me.

  “What is your problem,” he asked coolly, his jaw twitching in aggravation.

  “You! You are my problem,” I hissed, throwing the handful of second attempt acceptance letters at him.

  He winced at my words. The letters bounced off his chest and landed in the floor. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Janna rise from her seat and Greg put his hand across her forearm to hold her in place.

  Jaron looked down at the letters; a couple of them face up, clearly showing the college stamps. He pinched his forehead and rubbed his hand over his face, sighing in frustration.

  “So, Mr. Honesty, when were you gonna tell me you been throwing my mail away.”

  My voice was loud and harsh and a tone I had never taken with him before. I was too mad to care.

  He took a deep breath and stepped toward me and tried to pull me to him, his sexy smirk plastered on his face. A sure sign he had a few beers in him. With his hands on my hips he walked me backwards, out of the view of our company. I pushed him away, even more infuriated that he was not at all taking me seriously.

  “Come here,” he said in a whiny voice, grabbing my arm and pulling me to his chest. I pushed him again.

  “Get off me!” I shouted. He tilted his head and looked at me stone faced.

  “I’m not the little virgin you laid on our first date Jaron. You can’t just fuck me till this goes away.” Though we were out of view, we were definitely not out of ear shot.

  He pinched my chin between his thumb and finger, “Watch your mouth,” he said low through gritted teeth.

  Janna rounded the corner and came into view over his shoulder.

  I jerked from his grip, “All your talk about honesty. You made me feel like a piece of shit because I kept something from you. You were gonna whip me for it.”

  Janna’s brows shot up in shock.

  “You’re a fucking hypocrite Jaron Blake.”

  He grabbed my chin again, this time clamping down on either side of my jaw, his hand dangerously close to my throat. I slapped it away.

  “Go to hell,” I growled, wheeling and flying out the door.

  I ran to my truck and thought I was home free when my hand pulled on the handle. The door was half way open when it was ripped out of my fingers and slammed shut, dented from Jaron’s boot landing in the middle of it. Before I could blink I was trapped against the Bronco, Jaron’s hands on either side of me. I tried to duck under but he slid his arm lower. He lowered his face to mine, inches away, and pinned me with his blazing blue eyes. He glared silently for a few beats, conveying his authority.

  “Get back in the house,” he ordered, mono-toned.

  “No,” I said defiantly.

  Without further argument, he wrapped my arm in a vice like grip that was sure to leave a bruise. In spite of the pain, I tugged and fought against him as he dragged me toward the front door, kicking and screaming profanities the whole way. With my free arm I started pounding on his back. I had never fought him before. I was too intimidated to even have a proper argument with him. But I felt so betrayed and I knew I had to make a stand right then and there.

  I flailed and punched, even kicked, at his back. When I landed two hard shots to his kidneys, he roared and arched his back. Without releasing my arm he wheeled around to get a better hold of me and without intention, he landed a hard elbow to my temple. I crumpled.

  “Shit! Natalie!” he shouted as he let go of my arm and I fell to the ground, my head bouncing of the hard packed earth of the drive way.

  The world was spinning when I tried to open my eyes from the flat of my back. I rolled over and curled up in the fetal position, clutching my head with my hands, trying to stop the spinning and the ringing in my ears. Jaron scooped me up and carried me inside.

  “Jaron,” Janna spat in shock at the sight of me curled in his arms holding my head.

  “Just get her some ice Janna,” he ordered as he headed down the hall to our room. Janna followed and stood in the door gaping.

  “Jaron what did you do?”

  “It was an accident, just please, get her some ice.” His voice was impatient and crackling.

  He sat on the bed with his back against the head board and put me between his legs, cradling me against his chest. My shock wore off and the tears started to fall. Pain, anger, disappointment, fear, so many emotions came bubbling out all at once.

  “Here,” he whispered, pressing an ice pack wrapped in a soft dish towel to my swollen temple and cheek bone. I felt a sob jerk in his chest.

  “Is she okay,” Janna asked from the door.

  “Yes, she’ll be fine,” he answered straining to stay composed. “I’m sorry, but can ya’ll just go now?”

  Janna hesitated. “Are you sure ya’ll are okay?”

  “We will be. It was an accident Janna, I’m not going to hurt her,” he reassured.

  I looked up at Janna discreetly through my lashes. She was holding the letters in her hand.

  “Okay, we’ll go, but,” she paused and set the letters on the night stand, “she’s not wrong Jaron.”

  I watched her blurry image turn and leave the
room before closing my eyes to the fuzziness.

  “Baby, please wake up.”

  I felt the warmth of Jaron’s breath on the side of my face near my ear as he whispered his tearful plea. My eyes fluttered open. I blinked away the fog for a few seconds before pulling my head up to look at him.

  “Hey,” he said, pulling the ice pack away from my face.

  “Hey. How long was I out?”

  “Just a few minutes, but you were starting to scare me.”

  I nodded, studying his expression closely. The fear and regret swimming in his eyes put a damper on my raging anger.

  “I didn’t mean to hit you, I…”

  “I know,” I cut him off.

  I didn’t want to talk, or argue my head was pounding too badly. I sat up and put my feet on the floor. He placed his hand on my shoulder to steady me. I shrugged him off.

  “I’m okay, really. I just need some Tylenol and a Dr. Pepper,” I forced a smile at him over my shoulder.

  “Okay, you want me to get it for you?”

  “No, I’ll get it.” I stood, only a little woozy.

  I paused contemplatively before reaching my hand out to him.

  “Come on, you have to finish dinner.”

  “Janna and Greg left,” he pointed out, climbing out of bed.

  “We still have to eat though, right?”

  He looked at me stunned. He was expecting me to pick up where we left off. He expected me to demand an explanation. But I didn’t. There was no point. It was clear he was not going to budge. That left me with a hard decision to make.

  Dinner was quiet. Jaron watched me the whole time, waiting for me to broach the subject that weighted the air between us.

  “You’re head feeling better,” he asked timidly.

  “Yeah,” I smiled. He gently turned my face to the side to inspect the damage.

  “You’re gonna have a little shiner. Tiffany’s definitely gonna report that to Jake,” he said dismayed.