by L. S. Scott
My time was up. One last touch up on my lips gloss and I grabbed my clutch and headed for the elevator. On the ride to the lobby, one word kept echoing in my head. More, more, more, more, more. What did that mean. He wanted more than my body, but I wasn’t sure I had anymore to give. Some times when you give your heart away, you never get it back. And I still wasn’t sure if I had ever gotten mine back from Jaron, and if so, was it functioning correctly, in a relationship sense. There was only one way to find out.
I exited the elevator in the lobby and took a right to make my way through the hotel and down the long corridor past the kitchen and the service elevator to side exit, where Ellis would be waiting in the alley. As I crossed through a darkened section of hallway, just feet from the exit, I was grabbed from behind and pulled into a dark alcove outside a janitor’s closet.
Strong familiar arms wrapped around me and my body responded by melting into the embrace. He nuzzled his lips against my ear and inhaled sharply, taking in my scent. His hand skimmed my body, from under my arm all the way down to my thigh. His fingers wrapped around my inner thigh and I braced myself against the wall, aware of what was coming next.
An arm around my waist held me tight against his hard torso. His lips spread hot wet kisses up and down my neck and his roaming hand tugged at the tiny piece of lace hidden between my thighs, working it back and forth over my clit. My back arched, pressing my ass into him. In seconds, his fingers slid under the drenched lace and into the slick folds of tender skin. Our voices mingled as we both moaned. His fingers worked me, sliding up in, then out, all the way to my clit and back.
“God, I missed your wet pussy,” he growled in my ear.
My heart stopped. My breath caught in my throat. My knees went weak. He swept me into his arms and made his way quickly to the service elevator.
“Which floor?”
“Twenty-nine.” My voice trembled as did my body. He cradled me against his chest for twenty-nine floors.
The door opened, “Which way?”
“Left, 2902.”
He eased me to the floor in front of the door to my suite. I fumbled in my clutch for my card key, shaking uncontrollably, shaking too much to get the key in the door. He folded his hand around mine and guided the card in the slot. A thousand thoughts ran through my mind as I opened the door. Was he there to finish what he started that night? Was he there to punish me? Was he there to drag me back?
He followed me into the room and closed the door softly. Taking a deep breath I turned slowly to face him. He was harder, from his even more chiseled features, to his even broader shoulders. But, he was as beautiful as ever. He reached to wipe a tear from my cheek and I flinched at his sudden movement. He grimaced at my reaction and I saw his heart shatter in his eyes.
I launched myself into his arms and wrapped around him like a vine. Heavy painful sobs ripped through my body in waves, crashing into his as we cried together.
“You found me,” I sobbed.
“I will always find you,” he responded tearfully.
One emotion gave way to another, than another and another as all the walls I had built crashed down around me. Fear, anger, loss, and love tore me open from the inside out, all the feelings I shut myself off to when he went away, when I went away. Undealt with, they had been left to fester inside me and were as new and strong in that moment as they were all those years ago. And I wanted to deal with them the best way I knew how.
In a cyclone of pent up emotion, our bodies began to writhe. Our hands began to tug and rub and grab. Clothes were ripped and pulled. When we finally came together, skin on skin, it was like a rush of lava coursed through my veins, burning me from the soles of my feet to the top of my head.
Feverishly, furiously, we bit and sucked and kissed and fell onto the bed. He paused for a second to look down into my eyes, as if to reassure himself I was real, before taking me hard and fast. We both came within minutes.
Without pulling out of me he rolled us over. His fingers entwined with mine and he watched me raptly as I rode him. The feel of him inside me was like nothing else. It was right, in every way. My body, my heart, my soul, all belonged to him.
After two hours of rabid sex with little spoken, except for moans, and groans and words of passion, we lay warm and sated in each-other’s arms. It was such sweet silence I didn’t want to break it, but so much needed to be said.
“Jaron, I am so sorry.” The tears welled in my eyes again.
He rubbed my hair away from my face and kissed the top of my head.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I deserted you. I abandoned you.” Tears fell. “I was just so scared. I didn’t know what to do. I ran.”
“It’s okay. We’re together now. Ssshh, it’s okay.” He rolled to his side to look into my eyes. “Nothing that happened was your fault.”
“They told me you were going to kill me. They showed me the letter. Were you, really going to?” I swallowed hard waiting for the answer.
He wiped a tear from my face and slid his hand around my waist, holding me in case I tried to flee. It was a maneuver I remembered well and it meant I would not like the answer.
His brow furrowed deep with the painful memory. “Yes.” He gave me a second to process. “I was sick Natalie. I had been for most of my life. I’m not anymore. I got the help I needed while I was locked up, Greg made sure of it.”
I melted against his chest and cried even harder. “You were hurting and I left you. I’m so sorry baby. I love you so much, please forgive me,” I begged.
It was not at all the way I envisioned the reunion going if he ever found me, the boogie man of my nightmares, my imprisoner.
“There’s nothing to forgive. I’m so…” his words were cut short by a knocking, rather, a pounding on the door.
“Crap.” I had been so swept away, I had forgotten about Connor.
“What? Just don’t answer.”
“He has a key, trust me, he’s coming in.”
“Natalie!” Connor’s voice was ragged and agitated. I looked up to see Jaron’s eyes darken.
“Just stay calm Jaron, please.”
I jumped out of bed, searching for my robe. I found it in the bathroom floor and was slipping it on as I crossed the large room to the door when I heard it click and begin to open. Jaron took his time rolling out from under the covers, not caring at all, if Connor saw him naked in my bed. He stood, and their eyes met and locked just as he pulled his jeans over his hips and zipped them.
Connor scowled as he stepped in Jaron’s direction. I looked from one to the other, stunned at how much they looked alike and stupefied that I didn’t make the connection sooner. I stepped in front of him and put my hand in his chest, my robe only half on.
“Connor stop.”
He blinked rapidly and looked down at me as if only just realizing I was in the room. My chest tightened at the hurt look in his eyes.
“I waited,” he said quietly. “Ellis called when you didn’t show. You didn’t answer your phone, I got worried.”
Gone was the cool, articulation of an Ivy League education as he spoke in disjointed sentences.
“I’m sorry. I..”
His hand brushed the hair away from my shoulder, where my robe had fallen down my arm, to reveal a deep purple bruise that looked like a bite mark. It was really just a hickey with a few teeth marks around it that looked a lot worse than it was. I felt his chest contract under my hand. His eyes narrowed as he searched mine.
“Is this what you want me to do to you?”
His head shook slowly as the pain on his face grew. I shot a glance at Jaron, afraid Connor’s words might cause a violent reaction, but he held his place, watching intently.
I pulled my robe up and tight around me, crossing my arms protectively. “I bruise easy,” I murmured.
Disbelief and confusion showed in his eyes. “I never bruised you.”
I wanted to cradle his face in my hands and tell him I was sorry
for hurting him, but couldn’t bring myself to be intimate with him in front of Jaron.
“Connor you should go.”
“You’re kidding? No fucking way am I leaving you here, with him.”
I felt Jaron moving closer.
“Connor, I need you to leave, now.”
His eyes bounced from me to Jaron and back.
“You don’t have to do this Natalie. Just come with me, I’ll take care of it.”
I shook my head. His breathing became labored and his nostrils flared.
“Fine! You don’t have to come with me, but I’m not leaving you here with him. I’m calling security.”
“No! Jaron did nothing wrong. If you do that, I will never forgive you Connor.”
His back stiffened and his eyes misted. Defeated, he turned to the door.
Jaron encircled me, crossing his arms over my chest and pressing his lips to my skin, spreading kisses all around the mark he left on me. I watched as Connor stopped in the open door, fisting his hand in his hair. Regret clenched my stomach as he turned to see me in Jaron’s arms.
“Are you ok?” Jaron’s voice was soft and sympathetic. I was floored.
I turned to look at him. His eyes were sincere and concerned.
“You really are different, aren’t you?”
“I’m still me, just better.” He cupped my face in his hands and looked deep in my eyes, straight to my soul. “I’ve been away for a long time. I know that there are others besides me.”
“No, Jaron, no. I went all the way through college alone. Completely alone.” I paused a beat as I remembered the loneliness and truly felt it for the first time. “There was no one else, not until Connor.” I swallowed hard.
“Are you in love with him?”
I shook my head in his hands. “No, no.”
He pressed his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. “I wanna lay down and sleep, with you in my arms. I haven’t really slept in over six years.” He whispered.
“Okay.” And we slept, the deepest most peaceful sleep.
Chapter Thirty-one
I made coffee and warmed some left over pastries while the bath tub filled with water and bubbles. Jaron rolled over and reached for me and sit bolt upright in bed when he found my side empty and cool.
“It’s okay,” I said, pouring two cups of coffee. His head snapped around to find me. I set the cups on the bedside table and sat beside him. “I was just fixing a bite to eat and running a bath.”
His arms snaked around my waist. I cradled his head to my chest, running my fingers through his hair. A deep, ragged breath rattled through his chest, relaxing his body against me.
“I’m never leaving you again,” I whispered.
The bubbles puffed around us like a cloud. I sat between Jaron’s legs, rubbing my hands up and down them. His hands caressed my shoulders and thighs and inevitably found their way to my most needy body parts. One hand massaged my breasts while the other rubbed my clit. Slowly, without any urgency, he softly fingered me, while he spoke in my ear.
“I died a little every day that I was a part from you. Dreaming of moments like this is the only thing that kept me alive.”
I squeezed my thighs together and sighed. He kissed my neck softly, still moving his fingers methodically.
“I knew you still loved me, I could feel it. You’re inside me Natalie, in my veins.” My body clenched around his hand, my hips rolled. “I love to feel you come, feel your body tremble in my hands.” As he spoke the words in my ear, I did just that, convulsing in his arms.
When my body stilled, he lifted me, and closed his legs. I held myself up, leaning back against him. When he was positioned under me, I lowered myself onto him, taking every hard, smooth inch of him in.
“Fuck me Natalie,” he whispered.
I leaned my head back on his shoulder and began to move my hips back and forth, slow and steady, careful not to pull too far and lose him. He reached around and rubbed my clit, still sensitive and swollen.
“Oh fuck Natalie,” he groaned. He lifted me again. “Get on your knees,” he instructed.
I sat on my knees, leaned over the edge of the large soaker tub. I let out a long low moan when he entered me from behind. He pushed in, balls deep, and I pushed back against him, grinding my ass against him as hard as I could, wanting more of him. He growled and withdrew, slamming back into me instantly. Soon, he was pumping in and out furiously, our skin slapping and water splashing, until he swelled and exploded inside me.
“So, what do you want to do today,” I asked enthusiastically, pulling on my shorts. He looked at me with a puzzled expression. “What?”
“Aren’t you coming home with me Natalie,” he asked his voice and eyes filled with doubt. I moved to him and hugged him tightly.
“Yes, of course. I just thought we might do a little sight-seeing while we were here. We at least have to make the drive to the Hoover dam. I went when I first got here, but I didn’t enjoy it alone.” A relieved smile crossed his face.
“Okay. First we need to eat a good lunch. Why have you lost so much weight? Your curves were perfect.”
“You don’t like the way I look?” I was hurt.
“I love everything about you. You’re just so much smaller now.”
“I took up running in college and I swim a lot now.”
“Why, you didn’t need to lose weight,” he insisted.
“I wasn’t trying to lose weight. I was looking to relieve some stress. I didn’t have sex for six years, Jaron. I was wound pretty tight.”
“Hmph, me either, thankfully,” he joked.
I looked at myself in the mirror in my shorts and bra, turning from side to side. My stomach was extremely flat. My butt was tighter, but still round and my boobs had been the same size since I was eighteen.
“I’m not that much smaller,” I insisted, feeling self-conscious.
“You look great baby. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. I do want lunch though.”
“Me too. There’s a great little place down the street. We can walk or we can take a taxi anywhere you wanna go.”
“I have a ride,” he said grinning. “Come on.”
We took the elevator all the way down to the parking garage, a place I had only visited a few times the whole time I had been at The Flynn. He pulled out his wallet and handed the parking attendant a secure parking pass like the one I had for the Bronco, while flashing a hundred watt smile. The middle aged woman behind the window smiled back and buzzed the cage, letting us in. Jaron took my hand and led my through.
“Wow, aren’t you the charmer these days,” I teased, nudging him. He just grinned shyly down at me.
“Here we go,” he said as we approached a new Harley. He unstrapped a bag from the back and unzipped it.
“Oh my God, Jaron. Where did you get this?”
“I stole it,” he said casually, pulling his t-shirt over his head in exchange for a clean one from the duffle bag. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped open.
“I’m kidding Natalie.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head at me.
“That’s not funny. When did you get it?”
“When I figured out where you were, I decided a nice long road trip would do me some good, after being in a cage so long,” he strapped the bag down as he talked. “So, I bought it and hit the road.”
“You rode it all the way out here?”
“Yeah,” he grinned at me. “It was great.”
“When did you get here?”
“Friday night. I sat in that damn lobby forever waiting on you to come through.”
“I passed through yesterday, I don’t know round one, then back through at three thirtyish. You didn’t see me?”
“Actually I did. I caught a glimpse of you as you were getting on the elevator. You took my breath away, and I, I froze. It was too late to catch you, so I waited. When you finally came down last night, I almost didn’t r
ecognize you in that dress.” He raised his eyebrows and looked at me sideways.
“I’ll get rid of it.” I bit my lip and lowered my eyes.
He lifted my chin with his finger. “Keep it. I might want you to wear it for me sometime.” He smiled wickedly and kissed me chastely. He straddled the huge bike and raised the kickstand. “Well, hop on.”
When he fired it up, the loud low rumble of the engine vibrated me from the inside out.
“Now I know why you wanted me to wear these boots.”
I braced myself on his shoulder and slid in place behind him. I wrapped him up and held on tight.
Being with Jaron again was surreal. I had spent so much time and energy fearing him, making him the boogie man in my nightmares, but the second I looked into his eyes, all the fear subsided. It was like being with the man that I loved, that my heart had been waiting for, for six years, while at the same time being on a first date. He was still everything that I loved about him, but with his demons laid to rest, he was open and relaxed and enjoying life for probably the first time ever. Lying in the grass at a roadside park, watching puffy white clouds float by, he told me about his therapy and the demons that had tortured him since childhood.
“I never told you much about my dad,” he paused and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “He shot himself in front of me, when I was five. He was in the driver’s seat of the car and I was in the back.” I swallowed hard to push down the lump in my throat, trying to be strong for him. “Mom didn’t get me any kind of counseling or anything. She just dumped me on my grandparents two years later. If it wasn’t for the stability and routine they gave me, I probably would’ve had that melt down a lot sooner.” I raised his hand and pressed it to my lips.
“My therapist diagnosed me with PTSD, from that and from,” he paused and took a deep breath, “from what I did that night.”
The image of him trembling and bloody in the shower filled my head. I pushed it away.
“And mom leaving me left me with some major abandonment issues. He said that’s why I clung to you, refused to hardly let you out of my sight.”