by L. S. Scott
He closed his eyes and shook his head with a pained expression.
“I’m so sorry Jaron. I wish I would’ve known. I should’ve paid more attention.”
“Stop it Natalie. This is not on you. Since the night I first spotted your cute little ass bent over that pool table, you have been the one bright spot in my whole life.” His eyes misted. “You were so young, too young to be dealing with my bullshit.”
I wiped a tear from the corner of his eye.
“It’s all behind us, and we’re together now. That’s all that matters, right?”
“Right.”
“How did you find me anyway? Tiffany and Jake are the only ones who know where I am. Oh, and they are married by the way.”
“You called that one.”
“I did, didn’t I?” I was impressed he remembered. “You’re going to be an uncle in a few months.” He looked confused. “They’re having a baby. We’re going to be auntie Nat and uncle Jaron.”
He chuckled. “Jake’s gonna flip his freaking wig when you tell him.”
“He’ll get over it. So, how’d you find me?”
“Greg.”
“How’d Greg find me?”
“Greg has known all along where you were. He knew where you transferred to when you left.”
He paused, contemplating on whether or not to tell me the whole story.
“He knew about the internship. He wrote you a shining letter of recommendation.”
“You’re kidding?”
“Nope. He has some kind of connection with the family who owns the hotel.”
“Connor owns the hotel,” I snipped.
“I don’t know Natalie. He just said he knows the family,” he shrugged, “anyway, he’s kept tabs on you, but he wouldn’t tell Janna or me anything. I was home for a little over a month before he was satisfied that I was, mentally stable enough to see you. I would’ve found you on my own eventually, but I was sure glad when he told me, even though I wanted to strangle him for not at least letting me know how you were doing all this time.”
I just stared at him in stunned silence, a state that hung on to me all the way back to town.
“Let’s order a pizza,” I said, bouncing up on the ugly, scratchy floral bedspread on the queen sized bed in the cheap motel room we rented for the night.
“Sounds good. I’ll have you fattened back up in no time,” he teased, plopping down beside me.
I squinted and glared at him with my best mean face, before punching him playfully in the side.
“Oh,” he grunted.
“Do you really think I was fat?”
“No! I’m just teasing. Geez, you lost your sense of humor.”
“No, you’re just not funny.”
“Oh really?” He got a playfully wicked glimmer in his eye. He threw me back on the bed and started to tickle me. I squirmed and laughed and tried to wiggle away.
“Stop, stop, stop,” I giggled.
“Aw, who’s not funny?”
“You,” We rolled around laughing together like we never had before.
When he was sure I could stand no more, he stopped and hovered above me.
“I love you, more than anything in this world Natalie Renae Mills.” His eyes misted. “And I want you to always be as happy as you are right now, even if that means I have to give you up.” He wet his lips and swallowed hard. “You have a life here. I’m not going to make you go with me.”
“What? No! You’re the reason I’m happy right now, you. You, me, the good, the bad, what-ever, I want it all back. I want you back.”
“You never lost me baby girl.”
“Let’s get married,” I blurted out.
“What?”
“We’re in Vegas. We can be married in an hour. Natalie Renae Blake,” I mused, “it has a nice ring to it.”
He sat up and smiled pulling me into his lap.
“I can’t baby. I’m on parole and technically, I’m not supposed to be here. I don’t need to be filing a marriage license here.”
“Hmph, I guess you got a point.”
He gave me a squeeze. “But as soon as we get home, we can do it how ever you want, church, J.P. We can go to Hot Springs, whatever you want. Nothing would make me happier.”
“Then it’s a date. The first weekend home, we’re getting married.”
He chuckled, God how I had missed that chuckle.
“You’re so bossy. What about that pizza?”
“Alright, alright.” I pulled my phone from my purse to dial up Joe’s, my favorite delivery pizza place, and my text alert sounded. Tweet, tweet.
I looked down to see Connor’s text.
are you ok?
Jaron turned the phone up so he could see it as well.
“Text him, let him know you’re alright.”
I shook my head.
“Natalie, he cares about you. If he don’t hear from you he might call the law, that’s the last thing we need. Tell him you’re fine, and you’ll talk to him tomorrow.”
“I don’t want to talk to him tomorrow.”
My voice raised an octave and sounded slightly like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.
“If you’re leaving you have to tell him, cause trust me, it sucks when you just disappear.” His tone became solemn and his back handed statement stung. “Text him.”
i am fine. talk tomorrow
“Happy?” I asked with a little more attitude than I had intended.
“Not exactly, but it’s the right thing to do.”
It thought it might take a little time, getting used to the new Jaron, but I was looking forward to it.
“I love you Jaron.”
“I love you too baby. Now, are you gonna feed me pizza or what?”
I tossed my third slice of pizza back into the box half eaten.
“I’m stuffed,” I groaned falling back onto the bed holding my belly.
“That’s pretty good pizza,” Jaron finished his third piece.
He stripped his shirt off and tossed it in the floor. I smiled remembering how he always stripped of his shirt and tossed it in the washer as soon as he walked through the door.
“What?” he asked, noticing my sappy smile.
“Nothing just thinking.”
He turned to toss his wallet and change on the table, and I noticed a thin line of cursive writing tattooed down his side. When he got within reach I ran my fingers across the small, black letters that spelled out the words, truly,madly,deeply, down his side.
“When did you get this,” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.
He smiled down at me, running his fingers through my hair.
“The first weekend I was home.”
“For me?” I asked.
“Of course. That cheesy ass song still says it all, how I feel for you, what I want to be for you.” He rolled his eyes. “Believe me, Mike, my tattoo guy, got a real kick out of the fact that I even knew that song, gave me hell the whole time.”
I bit my lip and looked up at him all doe eyed. He pulled my lip free with his thumb and stared silently down at me with those bedroom eyes and the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. I sat up on the edge of the bed in front of him, lavishing wet kisses across his hard torso, my lips reveling in the salty taste and feel of his taut skin. He traced the outline of my mouth with the pad of his thumb. My lips parted hungrily pulling the digit into my mouth and suckling like a baby.
“Mmmm,” his approving moan passed through tight lips and beseeched for more.
I made quick work of his belt and zipper and unburdened him of his jeans and boxer briefs all at the same time. A quick memory flashed through my mind of me on my knees begging to be taught, fresh whelps burning my backside.
Taking my time, I worked from base to tip, licking, sucking, and caressing every inch of him. His legs trembled as each breath left his body on long ragged sighs.
“Fuck Natalie, you don’t know what you do to me,” he lamented. “I want to taste you
,” he said, grabbing me by the arms, lifting me and tossing me back onto the bed.
His nails scraped down my legs as he slid every garment from my body. Parting my legs wide with his hands behind my knees, he plunged his tongue hastily inside me. My body shuddered. My fingers knotted in his hair holding him tight against me as I rode hard against his mouth and he lapped ravenously at my pussy. It was mere minutes before the thread that I was hanging by snapped and I fell head long into the white spiraling light of a fantastic orgasm.
“Oh fuck yeah baby. I love the way you taste,” he groaned against my quivering flesh.
“Jaron,” I whined.
“Yeah baby,” he answered, his head still buried between my legs.
“Make love to me.”
My words of complete surrender brought him out of his punch-drunk state and he hovered above me, his eyes locked with mine. He wrapped one arm around me and slid me gently to rest my head on the pillows.
“If I make love to you, I will never be able to let you go,” he whispered through a sweet grin as he recited the same words he told me before we surrendered to each other for the first time so many years ago. No more words were spoken as we melted together, body, heart and soul.
“Natalie,” Jaron whispered in the dark of our cheap motel room, rousing me from my half sleep state, lying across his chest.
“Yeah,” I answered drowsily.
“Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you were really here, not just a dream.”
“I’m here baby.” I tightened my arm around his waist and pressed my lips to his chest.
“Every night I would close my eyes and imagine that you were laying just like this.” He began to muse. “I would block out all the sounds echoing through the cell block and concentrate real hard until I could hear you singing to me. I could hear it plain as day, like I had head phones on.” He drew in a shaky breath.
“It’s okay babe, I’m here. No more dreaming.”
“Will you sing to me,” his voice was so small and vulnerable, I had to choke back the lump in my throat.
“Sure,” I answered.
I cleared my throat and took a deep breath and cuddled closer, nuzzling near his ear. The words of the song I hadn’t heard and definitely hadn’t sung, in what seemed like a life time, came back to me as familiar as my own name.
Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses…….
Jaron took a deep slow breath and let the sound of my voice wash away his doubts and fears.
Chapter Thirty-two
“You have to do this Natalie,” Jaron insisted as I complained about having to face Connor.
“Why? He’ll get the picture when Alan tells him I turned in my uniforms and badge.”
“That would be fine if he was only your boss, but that’s not the case.”
“Jaron,” I protested.
“Natalie,” he mocked.
I deliberated momentarily on how to phrase my next sentence, but there was no delicate way to put it.
“We fucked Jaron, that’s it. It meant nothing more than that.”
His jaw ticked and his lips drew into a thin line. He didn’t say it, but his eyes scolded me for the foul language. He cleared his throat before speaking.
“Maybe to you, I mean it didn’t escape my attention that he looks like me. Hell, he could be my brother. And it probably didn’t escape his either. Whatever’s been going on, it meant more than that to him.”
I closed my eyes and pinched my forehead, trying to rid my mind of the hurt look in Connor’s eyes. I swung my leg over the seat and stood on the curb beside Jaron and his Harley, the sight of him in front of me, healthy and whole, washed away any conflicting thoughts rattling around in my head.
“I can wait here or I can go back to the motel and wait. Whatever you want me to do.” He studied me closely.
“You can go back, I’ll bring the Bronco.”
He nodded agreeably and pulled me to him by my belt loops.
“I love you baby girl.”
“I love you too,” I puckered my lip, still pouting.
He kissed me full on the lips, gave me a reassuring slap on the ass and roared away.
I kept my head down crossing the lobby and let out a relieved breath I didn’t realize I had been holding when I made it to my suite and closed the door behind me, without seeing anyone. I scanned the room. Housekeeping had been there. The bed was made with fresh linens. Clean towels were neatly placed in the spotless bathroom and the rest of the room was cleaned and wiped, my dirty laundry placed in the hamper in my walk in closet. I had insisted on several occasions that I would clean my own room, but Connor insisted it be kept just as any other.
I walked slowly around the room running my fingers over all the high end surfaces that had mesmerized me when I first arrived, but now seemed natural and homey. I looked out the soaring windows at the view of the mountains and the busy street below. I would miss the 24/7 life of Las Vegas, but felt the aching nausea of homesickness that gnawed at my insides. It was a feeling I hadn’t felt since my first year at college, when I finally stopped crying every day. But, knowing that Jaron was home brought it back, full force. All I wanted was to be where he was.
After a short time of reflection, I busied myself, packing my clothes. There were considerably more than what I came with so some ended up in a trash bag. When James, the bell boy, brought the luggage rack to my door, I gave him my vaguest excuse and sweetest smile and reassured him I could handle my luggage myself before sending him away.
“James,” I called after him before he got onto the elevator.
“Yes ma’am,” he answered with a wide, sincere smile.
“I haven’t talked to Alan yet, so if you could,” I trailed off.
“Yes ma’am,” he nodded in understanding.
I sat on the edge of the large bed, running my hand absent mindedly across the luxurious coverlet. I closed my eyes to visions of Connor and the moments we had on that bed, and a deep sob racked my body. Angrily, I wiped the single tear from my eye and crossed the room to the door.
“You fucked Natalie. That’s what he wanted. That’s why he picked you. That’s all you ever were.” I said aloud.
I took a last glance into the room at my uniforms, badge and the two notes, one to Alan and one to Connor that I left on the bed. Satisfied with my decision, I closed the door behind me.
I rolled up to the cheap motel where Jaron and I were staying a couple hours after he dropped me off. His Harley was sitting in the parking spot in front of our room and I knew he was inside waiting on me and soon we would be on the road home. Home, I had thought that maybe Vegas was going to be my home, but the invisible heart strings that tethered me to Jaron were always destined to drag me back to Arkansas.
Huge butterflies beat their wings in my stomach as I pictured the little white farm house, the long driveway, the comfy porch, the vanilla candles in the entry. I accepted years ago that I would never go back there and now, the feeling of homesickness tightened in my gut. I was pulled from my reverie by the slow opening of door 14, the door to our room. And there he stood, head tilted, shoulder against the door frame, rippling muscled arms crossed over more rippling muscles, faded denim hanging low, that sexy v at his hip in full view, literally making my mouth water. He was both villain and hero in the story of my life. His lips turned up in a curious grin as he watched me, watching him and I melted, a big puddle of pathetic, pooling at his feet. What a fool I was to think I would ever escape his grip on me, on my heart, my body, my soul.
I opened the creaky door and slid down from the seat. He sidled out of the room to meet me half way. Without a word he cupped my face and captured my lips. His back was warm against my palms. When his mouth released mine, I pulled back with raised brows.
“Wow, what was that for?”
“Because you came back,” he said with reserved resonance.
“Of course I came back. I’ll never leave you again Jaron, I promise.”
T
ears stung my eyes at the memory of leaving him that night, lying in the grass, screaming my name.
He pressed his forehead to mine and took a deep cleansing breath, signaling he had been on pins and needles waiting and wondering if I was going to return, before pulling back, smiling the most beautiful smile I had ever seen on his face, and wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
“So, everything go ok? You all set,” he asked enthusiastically, leading me into the room and closing the door behind us.
“Yep,” I smiled, hoping he didn’t immediately pick up on one word answer mode.
He cut his eyes at me, a look of suspicion in the blue, but didn’t press me.
“Okay. I found a place to rent a small U-Haul. My bike will fit with plenty room for your stuff, so the truck’s not so crowded. You know, in case we want to pull over, to sleep or something,” he grinned impishly.
“Or something,” I smiled back.
With U-Haul rented and loaded down and snacks bought, we set out on our journey.
“Hey, I know 40’s like a straight shot to Arkansas, but I really want to see the Grand Canyon. Can we take a little detour?” I asked, thinking I would probably never be back this way again.
“We can take as many detours as you want, as long as our journey ends with you back home with me.”
His grin stopped my heart and the look of pure peace and happiness in his eyes started it again.
“Yay,” I said clapping and giggling like a giddy school girl. He laughed a carefree laugh and shook his head.
The old Bronco bounced and roared down the road. The radio played our favorite old rock and Las Vegas became smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror. I took a deep breath as I looked back one last time and said a silent goodbye to the possibilities, to a life I thought I wanted, until the second I looked into Jaron’s eyes and dove head first into the abyss once again.
“You doing okay over there,” he asked, as if reading my thoughts.
“I am doing great, how about you?”
“Never been better,” he smiled.
Tweet, tweet, my phone signaled a text.
“Crap!” I growled.