by L. S. Scott
“What’s wrong?”
“My phone, it’s not really my phone. It belongs to Con, to The Flynn,” I stuttered, waving my phone agitatedly in the air. “I completely forgot about it.” I looked down at the text and was relieved to see Nina’s name and not Connor’s.
“So, we’ll ship it back to ‘em when we get home, or we can stop at a post office next time we fuel up. It’s no big deal Nat,” he reassured squeezing my arm gently.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Who’s the text from?” he asked.
“It’s my friend Nina. I didn’t tell her I was leaving. I was in such a rush to get back to you,” I flashed him a sideways grin, “I forgot. She wants to have dinner tonight.”
My lip puckered involuntarily at the thought of my dramatic Latin friend and how she would take the news that I had left town without so much as a goodbye, so I texted back.
had to leave town on short notice will call you as soon as I can. hugs and kisses
Jaron looked at me sympathetically fully understanding that I was leaving behind a good life I had created for myself to return to a life I had run hard and fast away from. I slid over in the seat to nestle in close and he wrapped one arm around my shoulder. He pressed his lips to the top of my head, took a deep breath and left a kiss. Just then, with my head leaned on his chest, my heart aching and soaring at the same time, my mind battling doubt, fear and excitement, the familiar slow melody oozed from the old crackly speakers of the Bronco.
I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy
I’ll be your hope, I’ll be your love, be everything you need
I love you more with every breath, truly, madly deeply do….
And just like that, it all flew right out the window. Jaron was my dream, my wish, my fantasy. He was even when he was broken and now that he wasn’t broken, he was everything I needed. I wrapped my arm around his waist and squeezed tight.
“Ugh,” he grunted under the over-zealous pressure of my arm around him.
“Easy, you’re a lot stronger than you used to be,” he teased.
“You wimp. I thought prison was supposed to make you hard,” I poked back.
“Hmph,” he snorted and smirked. “You make me hard,” he glanced down at me through thick, black lashes.
“Eehh, eyes on the road mister, I want to get to the Grand Canyon before sunset.”
I sat up in the middle of the seat smiling, resisting the urge to test him, see just how hard I could make him.
It was nearing dusk when we entered Grand Canyon National Park. We made a quick stop at the information center and grabbed an informative pamphlet that gave us information on the best view points, even specifying the best vantage point to watch the sunset.
My excitement started bubbling over as we made our way to Moran Point and parked. I could see the white water rapids in the Colorado River blow, and the varying colors of earth and stone that stripped the canyon side from top to bottom. I stood and stared in awe at the jaw dropping view with Jaron’s arms wrapped tightly around me, my back pressed against his front. He rested his chin on my head and gently rocked us side to side. As the sun began to sink low and the sky began to change colors.
“Oh my God, it’s beautiful,” I said breathlessly.
“Yeah it is,” Jaron whispered his voice crackling with emotion.
It wasn’t lost on me how overwhelmingly free he must feel, looking out at the vastness of the Grand Canyon, the breeze blowing in his face, after being locked up for so long. The tears welled in my eyes and one escaped and slid down my cheek and disappeared under my jaw.
I remembered that first night with Jaron, flying down the highway; the sun setting in the windshield, secretly crossing my fingers and hoping it wouldn’t be the last one I saw with him. And then the next night, setting on the rocks at the river, watching the sun sink behind the trees. It all seemed like a lifetime ago.
“Do you remember our first date,” he asked softly. “Our first real date?”
“Yes,” I answered leaning my head back against his chest and smiling, because he was thinking the exact same thing I was.
“You in your little yellow dress, my God, the way my heart dropped when I saw you walk out Tiffany’s door.”
His face was pressed into the side of my head, buried in my hair. I could feel his head shake from side to side.
“Setting on those rocks that night, with you in my arms just like this, watching the sunset, feeling like I was home. I knew I loved you then and there.”
He released me and turned me to face him. Tears pooled in the corners of his eyes and I reached up to wipe them as they fell. He took my hands in his and pressed them to his chest. I could feel his heart thumping hard and fast against my palms.
“I felt it too,” I admitted.
A smile ghosted his face and he swallowed hard.
“I can’t take back all the pain I caused you,” he bit his lip and blinked away fresh tears. “I can only say I’m sorry. I am so sorry Natalie, and promise you that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it.”
He took another deep breath and reached into his jeans pocket.
“I know we are kind of already past this,” he smiled and slowly lowered himself onto his knee and took my left hand. “But, Natalie, will you marry me,” he asked shakily holding up the most beautiful diamond I had ever seen.
“Jaron,” was the only thing I could push from my lungs through the sobs and tears that gushed from me. I nodded emphatically, spreading my fingers for him to slide the token in place.
I looked down at my hand, at something I never thought I would see there and knew that it didn’t matter how we got there, which road we traveled or how much pain we endured on the way, we were right where we were always meant to be, together, forever.
I cradled his face in my hands and looked down into those eyes, the ones I got lost in all those years ago.
“I love you so much Jaron Blake and I promise that no matter what comes our way, I will never leave you again.” I pressed my forehead to his.
The sound of clapping filled the air around us. The small crowd, that we were completely unaware of, cheered for us.
“Yay, congrats,” the strangers chanted. We smiled and laughed as Jaron stood, smiling shyly.
“You ready to go home baby doll,” he asked so sweetly my heart ached.
“Yeah, I am so ready.”
“So, when did you get the ring,” I asked, holding my hand up to admire how it looked for the thousandth time in the last hour.
“Today, while you were getting your stuff together.”
“It’s beautiful. It had to have cost an arm and a leg,” I mumbled. “Where’d you get all the money? I mean, the Harley, this rock.”
He snorted and shook his head.
“I have a lot of money Natalie. I grew weed for six years. After the first couple, everything I had was paid for. With no real bills, most of the money went into an account and just sat there. Then the hay money on top of that. That’s why I told you to get a hold of Janna, she had money set aside in an account for you, so you didn’t have to worry while I was gone.”
“When did you tell me that?”
“In my letters. You did get my letters, right?”
I swallowed and cleared my throat. “Yeah, I got them,” my voice trailed off.
“But?” he questioned.
“I got them but I never read them, any of them.” I confessed.
“Hmph,” he snorted and propped his elbow on the window seal, his thumb tracing the line of his bottom lip.
“So you what, just threw ‘em away,” he shrugged, hurt and disbelief in his voice.
“No, no baby. I still have every single one of them. Every letter you wrote. I just couldn’t. I knew that if I read one of them, I would go running to you and at the time,” I searched for the words. “I just couldn’t.” I lowered my head, ashamed.
“It’s ok, I get it.”
&n
bsp; He wrapped his hand around my thigh and pulled me closer.
“It doesn’t matter. If you want, I will read them to you by candle light,” he smiled and looked down at me.
Our eyes met in the glow of the dash lights and the hurt of those years alone sank into the sea blue of his eyes. A flash of something in the corner of my eye pulled my attention.
“Jaron, look out!,” I screamed, pointing at the windshield.
Jaron snapped his head around. Three large deer stood in the road, unmoving, eyes trained on our headlights. Jaron slammed on the brakes, swerving only slightly. The animals disappeared into the darkness. Just when I sucked in a breath, thinking all was okay, the U-Haul tire dropped off the shoulder. Jaron jerked the wheel, another deer jumped in front of the Bronco. Jaron jerked the wheel the other way, but it was no use. The animal rolled under the tire. The Bronco tires jumped off the shoulder of the highway. The U-Haul bounced and everything began to spin.
The huge hunk of metal, Bronco and U-Haul, tumbled down the steep ditch bank, metal, glass, dirt, blood, and darkness.
My eyes fluttered open with an excruciating pain shooting through my entire body that seemed to originate from my left hip. I turned my head to one side then to the other trying to evaluate my surroundings. The smell of gasoline assaulted my nose and eyes and worsened the pounding in my head.
“Jaron,” I whimpered, barely able to hear my own voice.
I rolled to my right side and tried to push my upper body up off the ground.
“Aahh,” I screamed as the pain ripped through me. “Jaron,” I called a little louder.
Sitting up I still couldn’t see anything but darkness in front of me. Painfully craning my head around, I caught the glow of the headlights on the upside down Bronco. In the dash lights I could see Jaron’s arm hanging out of the window.
“Jaron,” I called again with no response.
I got to all fours, unable to put weight on my left leg, and crawled toward him, my leg dragging lamely behind me, pain racking my body like nothing I had ever felt before.
“Jaron,” I cried, reaching out to grab his hand. “Jaron I’m here,” I said.
“Natalie,” he whispered.
I looked in the cab at his body, which was not in the cab of the truck like I had initially thought. His arm wasn’t sticking out of the window; it was sticking out from under the truck. His body was pinned under the hood where the windshield wipers would be. The v of the cab meeting the hood provided just enough room for him to breath, but with the cab crushed, the weight of the truck crushed down on him.
“Jaron, Jaron,” I cried.
“Are you okay baby doll,” his voice was garbled as he coughed the blood in the back of his throat.
“Yeah, I’m ok, I’m ok,” I assured.
I looked around the cab, frantically trying to figure out what to do.
“Just hang on baby,” I said, rubbing his cold palm while I tried to squeeze in the crushed window and reach my purse that was caught under the steering wheel.
“Please, please, please,” I begged out loud, praying that my phone was still zipped up inside. “Oh thank God, it’s gonna be okay baby, I’m calling for help.”
“Natalie,” Jaron coughed and groaned trying to turn his head to the side to spit the blood pooling in his mouth.
“9-1-1, what’s your emergency,” the disconnected voice answered.
“We need help,” I gasped, “We wrecked.”
“Okay we will have help on the way. Can you tell me where you are?” the voice asked.
“Um,” I shook my head, trying to remember, “near the Grand Canyon.” The sign ‘Flagstaff 10 miles’ flashed through my mind.
“Natalie,” Jaron groaned and coughed again.
“Okay, can you tell me what highway?”
“Ten miles, ten miles from Flagstaff. We just left the Canyon.”
“Very good, emergency crews are in route. Can you tell me how many vehicles were involved?”
“Just us,” I cried, “Please hurry, he’s trapped.”
“Natalie, please, talk to me,” he begged his voice barely audible.
I threw the phone down and positioned myself as close to him as I could get, holding his cold hand in mine and wiping the blood, dirt and glass from his beautiful face.
“I’m right here, help’s on the way. Just hang on baby, just hang on.” I tried to suck up the tears streaming uncontrollably.
“I love you Natalie,” more coughing, more blood.
“Ssshh, I know,” I stroked the top of his head, trying to focus on his blue eyes and not the metal and glass pressing against his body just below his sternum.
“I’m sorry,” he cried.
“Ssshh, sshh, sshh,” my body jerked as I sobbed. “It’s okay.”
“This was the happiest day of my life,” he whispered and I felt his fingers move slightly in my hand, rubbing the silver band on my finger.
“Not as happy as our wedding day’s gonna be, and our honeymoon,” I smiled.
A pained smile graced his face and he closed his eyes, “I can see you in white, my angel,” more coughing, more blood.
“Sshh, please baby, just save your strength.”
“Natalie, Connor’s in love with you.” The clearest thing he had said, but yet I didn’t hear him right.
“What? Jaron hush,” I demand, confused.
“I love you,” he repeated.
“I love you too,” I felt my consciousness slipping and I fought tooth and nail, not wanting to miss a second of the time with Jaron.
“Let him love you Natalie,” more coughing more blood. “Please, let him love you.”
The darkness grew and I forced my eyes open and looked down into those blue eyes, leaking tears.
“Kiss me,” he whispered.
I lowered my face to his. His lips were pale and cold when mine found them. I felt them move against mine as he mumbled, “I love you, I love you, I love….” Silence.
A deep sob tore through my body and my head lulled and rolled to rest on his chest, the sound of his heart and the slow garbled breaths were comforting proof of life and helped to warm my cold body as I lost my own battle to the darkness.
Chapter Thirty-three
The soft melody floated in the air around me, voices murmured soft in the next room. I sighed at the warmth all around me, blankets and pillows. Beep
A warm hand wrapped around my arm, cradled my cheek, felt my forehead. “Mmmm,” I sighed at the feel of his hands on me. Beep
I breathed deep and concentrated on raising my heavy eye lids. Soft light, silhouettes, music, blue eyes, “Hi baby,” I mumbled. Beep
Darkness.
My back ached and pain shot through me as I tried to turn onto my side to relieve the pressure. Pillows seemed to encircle me, propping me this way and that. Beep
What the hell is that incessant beeping, shut it off! I yelled in my head. Beep
“Natalie?” Beep
“It hurts,” I groaned. Beep
“Nurse, nurse,” he called out, his voice laced with anxiety. Beep
“What’s the fucking beeping,” I grumbled, my eyes finally starting to flutter open. Beep
“Natalie,” a soft voice said. “It’s just your heart monitor sweetie. And your heart rate is a little elevated, so I need you to take a deep breath and calm down, okay?” Beep, beep
“What?” My eyes opened fully and a middle aged woman in scrubs was leaned over me. Beep, beep, beep
“Natalie, it’s okay,” he said from the other side of the bed. His hand stroked my hair; his blue eyes search my face. Beep, beep, beep, beep
“Natalie, calm down and tell me where it hurts,” the lady said. Beep, beep, beep, beep
My eyes darted around the room; flowers, balloons, tv hanging in the corner, iv pole, heart rate monitor. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again, hoping the view would change. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
“Do
something,” he demanded of the lady. She left my bedside. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
My body trembled, my chest heaved, I closed my eyes; glass, blood, Jaron. “Nooooo!” I screamed a blood curdling cry. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
I opened my eyes to see the lady pushing medication into the iv port. Beep, beep, beep
Darkness.
Cool air touched my skin and goose bumps covered my body. Beep
“How does it look,” he asked. Beep
“Good, it’s healing nicely,” an unfamiliar male voice answered. Beep
I felt his hand tighten around mine and heard him inhale and then exhale slowly. The cover was replaced over my legs and the warmth returned. Beep
“Everything else is good as well, blood work, blood pressure, temperature, she’s recovering,” the man said. Beep
“Hmm,” I sighed. Beep, beep
“Natalie,” he said anxiously, squeezing my hand in his. Beep, beep
“Natalie, can you hear me,” the strange man asked. Beep, beep
“Y, yes,” I whispered, my throat and mouth so dry I could hardly move my tongue. Beep, beep
“Are you thirsty,” he asked, then kissed my forehead. Beep, beep
I nodded, blinking away the crust in the corners of my eyes and the fog in front of them. Beep, beep, beep
“Just put a small drop or two on her tongue at first,” the stranger instructed. Beep, beep, beep
“Here’s a little water. Calm down, your heart rate is rising again,” he said soft and concernedly. “Okay?” Beep, beep
I turned to look up at him. His blue eyes examined me closely and watched the straw as he carefully placed a few drops of water on my tongue. Beep, beep, beep
Connor! Beep, beep, beep, beep,
“Natalie, take slow deep breaths. Try to stay calm. You were in an accident and you are in the hospital.”
I looked over at the stranger talking to me. He had salt and pepper hair, brown eyes, and pale skin. His white lab coat bore a name tag, Dr. Scott Hansen. Beep, beep, beep
“Baby, please calm down,” Connor begged. Beep, beep, beep
I drew in a long, deep breath through my nose. The expansion of my lungs hurt and I grimaced, “Ah.” Beep, beep
“You have some broken ribs, breath nice and slow, but not too deep,” Dr. Hansen instructed. Beep