by Ivy Smoak
It'll be okay? No, it fucking wouldn't. I shrugged out of his arms and stepped to the edge until my toes were actually sticking off the side. And I screamed. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed because I was frustrated with Tyler. Because I was worried I was going to lose my dad. And because I was terrified of actually getting to Pasadena and facing my fears. I knew people were staring at me. But I didn't care. God, this felt good. I balled my hands into fists and screamed again.
I thought Tyler might say something. That he might be embarrassed of me. It would be a normal reaction to some girl you just met screaming at nothing. But I didn't care about the onlookers. Let them judge me. Let them see me scream.
What I didn't expect was for Tyler to step up right beside me and scream too.
"Wow, that feels good," he said. And then he screamed again even louder.
People started stepping away from us.
I laughed and grabbed his hand again. Together we both screamed as loud as we could, letting our pain and fears echo off the dips and valleys of the canyon.
"Feel better?" he asked.
I smiled up at him. "So much better. Come on." I pulled him back toward the car. "I think I want to go to Vegas after all."
"Yeah?"
If it delayed getting to Pasadena by one day, then absolutely. I didn't look back at the Grand Canyon. I felt like I had thrown my worries, fears, frustrations, and insecurities into it. It was now a pit of everything I wanted to offload. And now I needed to move on. No more looking back. I was only looking forward.
Chapter 34
Tyler
Wednesday
"There is no way in hell that I'm wearing that," Hailey said as she stared at the red dress I was holding up.
I laughed. "If we're going to Vegas, we should do it right." I tossed it at her.
"Why does doing Vegas right mean I have to dress like a hooker and you get to wear that."
I pulled on the lapels of the $20 suit I had just picked out from the thrift store. "I can't help it that I look good in everything." I winked at her.
She rolled her eyes.
"Plus...I'm paying," I said.
"You're not my pimp, Tyler Stevens. I can pay for my own clothes. And I like this one." She gestured to the froufrou skirt she was wearing. It covered way too much of her perfect legs. It was almost sinful.
I leaned against the doorjamb of the changing room. "At least try on the red one."
"Fine. But I'm not going to like it."
I laughed and stepped away from the door as she slammed it in my face. I wasn't exactly sure how we had ended up in a thrift store just minutes away from the Las Vegas strip. Hailey had insisted she wanted to do the Las Vegas scene right, and now she was suddenly being shy. Why she felt uncomfortable showing off her perfect body, I had no idea.
The door to the changing room opened a crack. "Seriously, Tyler, it shouldn't even count as a dress. There's not enough fabric for it to garner that definition."
I pushed the door open. She was breathtaking. The tight red fabric plunged low in the front and tied around her neck, leaving her back completely bare as well. And the hem of the skirt landed right below her ass.
She shifted, trying to pull the fabric down her thighs.
"You look sexy as hell."
Her face turned red. "Stop it."
"Hails, seriously, you have to wear that."
"Wear what? This isn't a dress!"
I laughed and pulled her into my arms. "You're perfect, you do realize that, right?"
She blinked up at me. Her eyes were such a warm shade of brown. Almost caramel colored. Every time they landed on me, I got completely lost in them.
"So you want me to walk around...in public...in this dress?"
"Absolutely." I let my hands slide to her ass. "And in those shoes." I nodded to a pair of stilettos I had placed by the dressing room door.
She laughed. "Fine. But only if I get to pick you out a bowtie to wear."
"Done. I can rock a bowtie."
She reached around me and grabbed the most ridiculous red and black polka dot bowtie I had ever seen. She pulled one of my hands off her ass and placed the bowtie in it.
"It matches your dress. Couldn't get any better than this." I looped it around the collar of my shirt and tied it in place."
Hailey put her hands on her hips. "I'm impressed. I didn't think you'd have any idea how to tie it."
"Being in a frat had its perks. I know how to dress to the nines." I watched her strap on the matching red heels. Her legs looked even longer, if that was possible.
She laughed. "Right. Well, we better get going." She grabbed the clothes she had been wearing and walked toward the checkout. "The night is young," she said over her shoulder with a seductive flip of her hair and a sway of her hips.
I smiled as I followed her. I ignored her protests as I paid for our outfits. And I looped my arm around her waist as we walked back to the car.
"You look so pleased with yourself," she said with smile. "Just for the record, I'm going to make you work for it tonight. I don't just put out for a nice dress."
"I never imagined that you would. That's not the type of girl you are at all."
"And what type of girl am I?"
"Oh, you're definitely a ball buster."
She laughed. "I am not. Although with these shoes, I'm sure I could bust a few."
"Remind me not to upset you tonight." I opened up the passenger side door for her.
"Well aren't you quite the gentleman?" She straightened my bowtie and then climbed into the car.
I wasn't sure what changed her mind about stopping in Las Vegas. She had completely thrown the fact that she was in a hurry out the window. Maybe she screamed away whatever was bothering her at the Grand Canyon. I know that I did. God, it felt so good to scream at the top of my lungs. I don't think I had done that since I was a kid. Maybe everyone needed to throw a temper tantrum every now and then, even as an adult.
Either way, tonight was going to be so much fun. Hailey was in a great mood and it was definitely contagious. I couldn't not smile when she was smiling. One last night with her before she went back to Indiana. I ignored the sinking feeling in my stomach as I climbed into the car. I just needed tonight to count for something. Even though I wasn't going to ask her to wait for me, I wanted her to remember me. Maybe when she was old and gray she'd look back and think this was one of the best summers of her life. I knew I didn't need to wait that long to feel that way about this summer. What had started out as one of the worst summers of my life had been completely transformed by her.
"What are you looking at?" she said.
I shook my head. "Nothing."
"I'm pretty sure you were looking at my breasts." She folded her arms across her chest.
Maybe with some other girl I would have been. But it was more than just physical attraction with Hailey. I was attracted to who she was as a person. Everything she was just made her that much more beautiful.
"It's too low, right?" She adjusted the straps.
"Hails, you look gorgeous."
"It's really unnerving when you call me gorgeous."
"Why?"
"Because no one ever has before."
How could her ex boyfriend not have told her how beautiful she was on a daily basis? Did he really not see how lucky he was? "What about your ex boyfriend?"
"No. He'd call me sexy sometimes. Or hot. But never gorgeous."
"Well, he sounds like an asshole. I hate to break it to you, but you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met." I swallowed hard when she didn't respond. It had just kind of spilled out. But it was true. The only reason I wanted to unsay it was because of how she was staring at me.
She leaned her head back on the headrest. "What about Penny?"
What about Penny? The question seemed to echo around in my head. I used to think about her all the time. But I hadn't thought about her once since Hailey and my conversation this morning. She hadn't even crossed my
mind. For a second I let myself feel guilty. I should have been worried about her. I should have been wondering how she was. But I didn't feel guilty. I felt...free. I exhaled slowly.
"Sorry," she said with a laugh. "That was a dumb question." She turned her head to stare out the window.
"Hails?"
"Really, Tyler, it's okay." She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I've seen her on TV and in magazines and...everywhere. She's stunning."
Apparently Hailey was as blind as her ex boyfriend. "I meant what I said. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met."
She laughed.
"I mean it, Hails. It's hard driving because all I want to do is stare at you."
Her cheeks flushed. "You're not so bad yourself."
I laughed. "It's probably the bowtie."
"For sure."
Chapter 35
Hailey
Wednesday
Gorgeous. Did he really think I was gorgeous? I had always considered myself lanky. But the way he stared at my legs made it seem like he admired them. What was I supposed to do with that compliment? I tried to keep my eyes glued to the window instead of on him. Was he purposely making it hard for me to say goodbye to him tomorrow?
I bit my lip. Or maybe my plan was working. Maybe he was reconsidering. I understood his concerns. Three years was a really long time. But I was pretty sure he'd get a few days away from the marines every now and then. It's not like I wouldn't see him for three years. Unless he got shipped off. I suddenly realized why he had said his greatest fear was death a few days ago. A chill ran down my spine.
But I didn't get a chance to ask him, because he interrupted my train of thought. "Geez, look," he said.
I turned my attention to the windshield. There were lights everywhere. We must have just turned onto the Las Vegas strip. The sun was setting, but instead of the buildings looking dull, they popped in a million different colors with lights blazing.
"It's...bright," I said.
Tyler laughed. "That's exactly how I was going to describe it."
We slowed down from the volume of traffic on the strip. My eyes stayed glued to the window. It was like we had just driven into a whole other world.
We suddenly stopped. I hadn't even realized that Tyler had pulled over.
He turned off the ignition. "Do you want to just walk around and explore?"
I smiled. "That sounds perfect." I stepped out of the car. There was an electricity in the air. "Is this how New York is?" I asked when he came to my side of the car.
"It's different. I don't really know how to explain it."
A group of women passed by us, laughing. One was wearing a sash that said "bride to be."
"Actually, I know what it is." Tyler slipped his hand around my waist. "The energy is different. People seem happy here."
"And they don't in New York?" I looked up at him. Maybe it was because he wasn't happy in New York. But he was happy here with me.
He smiled down at me. "No, everyone's always kind of in a rush and unfriendly in the city. I grew up in a pretty small town like you. I'm used to people being nice."
We started walking down the street.
"Do you prefer a small town? Would you want to end up in one whenever you settle down?"
"Yeah, I think that would be nice."
My heart seemed to warm. I'd wait for three years for him. Couldn't he see that? I'd wait my whole life for him. This feeling that I had right now didn't even compare to anything I had ever felt before. I couldn't even look around at Vegas because my eyes were glued to him.
"Do you want to check anything out? It would be pretty cool to see a casino."
I reluctantly peeled my eyes away from him and looked around. We were passing by an immense building. There was a huge pond and fountains in different colors out front. "Now that has to be the fanciest building I've ever seen," I said. "It looks like something out of a movie."
"That's because it's been in a lot of movies. It's the Bellagio."
"I've never heard of it."
"It was in Ocean's Eleven."
I shrugged.
Tyler laughed.
I leaned toward the sound. It didn't matter where we were as long as I was with him. But I could feel it in my bones. Tonight was going to be a night to remember. "Is it a casino?"
"I think it's a casino and hotel." He took a step back from me and held out his hand. "Shall we, m'lady?"
I laughed and grabbed his hand. "After you, kind sir."
He held my hand as we walked up to the front of the Bellagio. Valets were rushing around opening car doors. I took a second to turn in a circle, studying everything, taking it all in. For a moment, I felt like a movie star. I'd probably never be standing in front of a building like this again. This was the closet to royal treatment I'd ever get.
Tyler's hand slid around my waist and my eyes landed on his as he pulled me close. My eyes always gravitated back to him. He was all I really wanted to look at.
He leaned down and kissed me right in the middle of the bustle of people. Normally I'd be self-conscious about something like that. But we'd never see any of these people again. And if I felt like kissing the man I was falling for, I was going to kiss him. It was like I was in a dream. If it was a movie, the camera would be spinning around us, taking in the perfect scene. Taste. Touch. Sound. This moment was everything. He made me forget about my worries and fears. He made me feel whole again. And I wasn't ready to let go. I just had to make him see that we could make it work. That we could be more than just this moment.
I straightened his bowtie after he pulled back. Tonight I'd make him realize just how great we could be. "So...it's a hotel too?"
He smiled. "I think you promised me that I'd have to work for it tonight."
You can have me whenever you want. "I guess you better beat me in a game of poker then."
"Are you good at poker?" He raised his eyebrow.
"Tyler Stevens, I'm an ace at poker." I poked him in the middle of the chest and smiled seductively.
"I guess it's time to put your money where your mouth is."
I stood up on my tiptoes and put my lips to his ear. "I'd rather put my mouth on you." I smiled as I watched his Adam's apple rise and fall. I immediately took a step back. "But you'll have to earn it first," I said over my shoulder as I walked up the steps of the casino.
Again I was overwhelmed with sensations. It was all gold and bright lights and noise everywhere. Tyler was right, everyone seemed happy. People came here to party and let loose. And that was exactly what I was going to do.
"This way," I said and grabbed Tyler's hand. I pulled him over to a table with some empty seats. It was time to show him just what kind of girl he'd be walking away from.
Chapter 36
Tyler
Wednesday
Hailey wasn't kidding when she said she was good at poker. She was completely annihilating everyone at the table, including me. And it was probably the sexiest thing I had ever witnessed. I was almost convinced that she was counting cards.
I studied her face as she looked at her hand. She bit her lip as she mulled over what to do and then immediately smiled as she switched out a card. I honestly had no idea what I was doing. I knew how to play poker, but she was so distracting. Especially in that dress. Her skin was begging to be touched. Her lips were begging to be on mine. And I wanted it all. I just needed her to finish this game and then I was pulling her away.
"Read 'em and weep," she said as she slammed her cards down on the table. A royal flush.
Fuck, how is she doing this? I put my cards down on the table and sighed. "I'm calling it quits before I lose all my money."
She laughed and her eyes twinkled. "Okay, I'm done too."
The rest of the people looked relieved as we made our way to the bar.
"Seriously, Hails, how are you so good at poker?"
"I'm not actually good at poker. I'm just really good at reading people's tells."
I l
aughed. "And what's my tell?"
"When you bluff, you scratch the back of your neck."
"I don't do that."
"Actually you do." She reached up and touched the base of my neck. "Right here." She slowly ran her fingertips up my neck and into my hair. "Tyler, I'm not thirsty."
I glanced at the bar behind us and then back at her. "Then what do you want to do?" I had already bought a hotel room for the night after one of the many times she beat me in poker. I had said I was going to the bathroom, but I was growing antsy. This was the last night we had together. This was it. And it was exhilarating and heart breaking at the same time. I pulled one of the key cards to our room out of my pocket and slid it into her hand.
She looked deep into my eyes as a smile spread across her face. "I have a better idea. Let's go for a swim."
"What?"
But she had already grabbed my hand and was pulling me out of the casino. All I could do was laugh and run outside beside her. She really did make me feel like a kid again. I felt alive for the first time in years. She made me happy. She made me live in the moment, and I really needed that.
We came to a stop alongside the biggest pool I had ever seen. The biggest, emptiest pool. There was caution tape around the pool, but it still looked like it was functioning. A fountain in the center of it was lit up majestically. It was beautiful.
She lifted up the caution tape and ducked beneath it.
"Hails, I don't think we're supposed to go under that."
"I'm sure we're not." She kicked off her shoes and smiled at me.
I laughed. "I don't think this is a good idea."
"What? Are you chicken?" She stepped toward the edge of the pool. "What's the worst that could happen? You're already on the run from the cops."
I laughed as I ducked under the caution tape. "So we're in the heart of Vegas and all you want to do is go for a swim?"