Roman's Choice (Saddles & Second Chances Book 1)

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  “Coffee?” Roman asked.

  The older man shook his head. “I’m afraid I don’t have enough hair on my chest to drink tar.”

  Roman laughed. He didn’t know Sal very well, but his lack of filter certainly did make Roman laugh. “Suit yourself.” He started to walk away.

  “Do you think you and I could have a chit chat?” Sal asked.

  Roman stopped and flicked the man a look. “Sure. I was just stepping out to get some fresh air. Want to join me?”

  Outside, Sal sat down on the concrete bench and stretched his legs, showing off shiny red leather shoes.

  “Pippa told you about the marriage?”

  Roman nodded. “She did.”

  “This should be a relief for both of you.”

  “You think?” Roman didn’t realize he was crushing the cup until coffee spilled out over his fingers. He scanned the front of the hospital for a trash can, dropped the cup in one and wiped the wetness from his fingers onto his jeans. They were dirty from a hard day’s work anyway.

  “Let’s face it, who wants to be stuck with someone they met and married after six hours?” He rolled his eyes. “After all, Pippa never wanted to marry anyway and she was thrust into this marriage not thinking.”

  “Did she tell you that?”

  “That she never wanted to marry? Many times. I give you both credit for tolerating this as long as you have. How gentlemanly of you to help her save her career. I don’t know how we’ll clear this mess up once we get back to Chicago, but fans love Pippa. They’ll feel sorry for her.”

  Roman growled under his breath. So all along Pippa planned to go back home. Why didn’t she tell him? He thought things had changed.

  “If you care anything at all about her you’ll see that this is for the best. Pippa has a long career in front of her. If she stays here, her career ends.” Sal’s eyes turned a darker shade.

  “Let me ask, Sal. How long have you been Pippa’s manager?”

  “Five years.”

  “During any of that time, have you looked out for her best interest?”

  His brows snapped together. “What do you think I’m doing now?”

  “Looking out for your best interest because if it was Pippa’s, you wouldn’t be having this conversation with me. A career doesn’t make a person.” He strolled back into the lobby of the hospital. Why did Sal’s words sink in as the truth? If Pippa had to give up her career, would she ever be truly happy? It was obligation that brought her here, not love.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  PIPPA SLID OUT of the passenger side and slammed the door. She took off toward the house, stomping, but Roman was faster and caught up to her before she got to the steps of the porch.

  “Pippa!”

  She waved a hand through the air as if he were a bug she could wave away. Throwing a frustrated glance over her shoulder, she started up the steps, but he caught her arm and pulled her back to him.

  “Don’t touch me! You’ve made yourself clear!” She drew back her foot and kicked him in the leg with the toe of her boot.

  He dropped his hand and reached for his calf, hopping on one foot. “What the hell was that for?” he ground out between his teeth.

  “Oh, let me count the reasons.” She held up one finger. “One, if you want me to leave, then I will!” She jabbed another digit into the air. “Two, it felt good.”

  Grabbing her shoulders, he turned her to face him. “I didn’t say I wanted you to leave. I said it was best that you did.”

  “Oh, there’s a difference? Just like a man’s way of thinking,” she huffed.

  Her eyes sparked with rage and something he hated to see—pain. He didn’t want to see her hurt, although his own heart was breaking. “That look…rips through me.” Her eyes misted and her mouth parted slightly as if she had a million things to say but none of them came to her mouth. “Admit the truth, Pippa. You came here to save your career. You wanted to show all of your fans that you could make your marriage work, but we’re not married. This solves all of your problems. You’re off the hook.” The words left burn marks on his tongue.

  “And what about you? Are you off the hook, too?” One brow snapped up.

  He blew out a long breath. “I guess I am, aren’t I?”

  She blinked. “I thought…”

  “You thought what?”

  She gave her head a jerky shake as if she could shake out all of her painful thoughts. “Nothing.” She exhaled.

  He wanted something, anything. Maybe he hoped she would say that she wanted to stay. That she wasn’t there out of obligation, but for him—for them. For love’s sake. Not for her career’s sake. He needed to hear those words and he would drop to his knees and profess his loyalty, his love. Yet, he couldn’t have her here if she didn’t want to be his wife. He couldn’t backtrack—couldn’t be in an unhappy marriage again.

  Yet, she just stared at him.

  He skimmed his finger along her cheek, drying up a single tear. She nuzzled her cheek against his palm, maybe an invisible plea? Why didn’t she say the golden words?

  If he didn’t force her hand, would he ever really know?

  Just as Uma had married him out of lust, or maybe money, she regretted her decision. What if Sal was right? What if this was best for Pippa?

  *****

  Pippa stared at him, a waterfall of thoughts rushing through her brain. What happened between them? He was right. She had come here to save her career. But something had changed. Yet, had she been mistaken?

  “Pippa, you are a bestselling author who is loved by her fans. They want—no expect—you to travel the country, give speeches, continue to write self-help books. What happens when we decide to start a family? You must realize that I want children, and soon. I’m not getting any younger, and I look forward to being a father. Do you see yourself still traveling all over the country? Would you be willing to sacrifice time from your career? Are you even wanting children?”

  She attempted to wrap her brain around his words, holding on to them like a lifeline, but no answers were clear for her. Since she’d met him, he’d had a spell on her that had blinded her, leaving her wanting more, but not sure what that meant. She’d never been one to lose logic where a man was concerned, never forgetting her one true passion—her career. Since Roman walked into her life she’d thrown every sense, every logical thought, to the wind, and now she was watching them come down around her like fat raindrops. He wanted children. She knew that…didn’t she? Honestly, she’d never really thought about a family. She’d been busily enjoying every sweet emotion and feeling he sent through her body.

  “I-I don’t know.” That was the truth. He deserved to know her feelings.

  He pulled back slightly, his eyes glistening with an emotion she didn’t quite understand, yet wondered if it was anything like the turmoil bursting through her. “I believe that’s the answer, sweetheart.”

  “Roman, we’ve only known each other for a short time. Some couples date for years before they marry. I’m sure eventually I’d want children, down the road, but can I commit to a year. Or even two years. I’m not sure. I can’t make any promises. I love my work, love helping others. If you’re asking me to give it up—”

  He gave his head a shake. “I’m not asking you to give it up. I was asking what sacrifices you’re willing to make, because in marriage, sweetheart, everyone must sacrifice. You’re the expert, you should understand that compromise isn’t always great. I was in a marriage where she didn’t want kids and we were on two different pages. I can’t do that again. I need someone who is into our lives together, wanting those special things of a family—like kids. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been together. It comes down to what your priorities are.”

  Her world crashed around her. “It feels like you’re asking me to choose. I’m pressed up against the wall. What if I can’t have children? Would you divorce me because of it?”

  “Don’t grasp for straws.” He blew out a long breath. “Maybe this
is a talk you should have with your manager because apparently he handles your personal affairs as well as business.”

  “Sal told you I didn’t want children?” She’d strangle him.

  “No, he only told me you didn’t want to be married.”

  She reached out, but he pulled away. “That’s not true.”

  “Oh, you wanted to marry did you?”

  She looked beyond him, then brought her gaze back, seeing the creases around his eyes. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry. I didn’t—”

  “You didn’t think about it because you were too busy in your career.”

  “That’s unfair, Roman, especially when you lived your career as a rodeo star and now have a second career here at Second Chances and SCS. Am I the one who’s expected to give up everything?”

  He chuckled, but it sounded harsh. “Everything? You’d be giving up everything for a family?”

  “Now you’re just twisting everything I say. You’re wanting me to crash and burn.”

  “No, sweetheart, I wouldn’t want anyone that I love to crash and burn.”

  “I under—wait…you love me?”

  His gaze turned to one of pain. “I do. I have since you stumbled into my life. But, sweetheart, let’s be real. We shouldn’t be married because we don’t have a clue what we’re wanting in life, what we’re expecting from one another. I’d never ask you to give up your career, but I would ask you to be one-hundred percent here with me.”

  “Roman…”

  “I don’t want the spotlight again, darlin’. I can’t go with you to all of your conferences, speeches…and I certainly can’t be Mr. Pippa Wilder. We’re at different points in our life and we’re finding that out. I’m going back to the hospital. I’m assuming when I get back, you’ll be gone.”

  She watched as he climbed back into the truck and pulled away—out of her life.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  “YOU’RE GOING TO want to see this, bro.” Urban turned up the volume of the TV.

  “What do you want me to watch? Please tell me it’s not one of those cooking shows again. I get that you love watching them, but can’t we watch a football game?” Roman leaned back into the couch. Since his brother had come home from the hospital with a concussion, fifty stitches in his head, and a broken leg, Roman had been taking shifts with Penn and Hugh to watch over their wounded brother.

  “Get over it, punk,” Urban snarled. “Now watch. I was flipping through channels and saw that this was coming on. It’s LIVE.”

  Roman rubbed his palms down his face. He hadn’t slept a wink in weeks and he wanted to stretch out and fall asleep, but his body wasn’t having any of it. He couldn’t get his mind to shut down.

  A familiar soft voice came through the TV’s speakers and the hairs on his arms lifted. Holy shit! He dropped his hands and Pippa was on the screen. Damn, he wished he didn’t feel a kick in his balls, but every cell of his body came alive. She was beautiful with her long hair flowing over her shoulders. Her green eyes glowing and her lips a beautiful shade of pink. He couldn’t believe three weeks had passed since she’d gone home.

  “Welcome, Pippa Wilder. So glad you’re here.” The commentator announced.

  “Thank you for having me.”

  “The new book has released, but it appears it’s overshadowed by some personal issues that you’ve been suffering. You were married, but not married? Is that correct?”

  Not one flinch. Not one blink. “Yes, that’s correct.”

  “Rumor states that you and your husband split up,” the commentator said.

  Pippa looked straight at the camera. Her chin tilted slightly, but no sign of weakness. “I’ve heard many rumors, Judy. I think it’s time I set the record straight. I married Roman Jericho for all of the wrong reasons.”

  “I’m not watching this shit!” Roman jumped up and started for the door, but interest compelled him to stop and listen. It was like a bloody scene that he couldn’t resist, yet knowing it’d cause him nightmares.

  “I was lonely and feeling a lot of self-pity, self-doubt. We met in Vegas and I followed something I’ve never followed before…my emotions and not my ever-present logic. You see, my marriage to Roman was on a whim. We didn’t know each other before that day. I never thought I’d be one of those women that jumps without thinking of the consequences. But I once heard someone say, “We don’t know what it’s like until we get there’. Very true words.”

  “That’s quite an admission, especially considering people rely on you for relationship advice. You’ve been known to suggest that impulsive behaviors can be harmful.”

  Pippa shifted and tugged at the hem of her skirt. “Yes, a relationship adviser is supposed to be a perfect role model. But there’s more to this story that I want everyone to understand. Sometimes following instinct, or impulse, is not a bad thing, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. Spontaneity can bring us more happiness than we ever thought possible. Even in an impromptu marriage.”

  “Doesn’t that discredit everything you wrote in book one?” Judy chuckled uncomfortably. “You wrote, ‘People take more consideration into what they’re eating for lunch than they do in who they’re sharing their bed with…’”

  “Pretty much everything I had written has come from knowledge I’ve learned through books, theories, not from the heart. I escaped love for so long, but then it happened and so many things are clearer.”

  “Does that mean you’re in love?”

  Pippa’s cheeks flushed. “I didn’t realize how much I loved my husband until I found out we were no longer married. He is the kindest, most generous man I’ve ever met, and I never told him how I felt. Call it a flaw or stupidity, maybe both, but I didn’t. I was wrong. No one should listen to me for the perfect relationship advice because I don’t have the golden answers. I didn’t even have the answers for my own relationship. I want readers to find help in my suggestions because I am human and because I listen. They can stand to gain from my mistakes and the biggest one is allowing my fears and uncertainty to muddle my heart and what I know to be the truth. The media can write whatever they like. People can say what pleases them. I’m being honest.”

  Urban clicked off the TV and twisted to look over the back of the couch. “Wow, that’s heavy, bro.”

  “If you say so. I’m going outside for fresh air.”

  “I hope you’ll keep on walking, all the way to Chicago.”

  “I’m not an idiot.”

  “If you weren’t, you’d go tell the best thing that ever happened to you that you love her. It doesn’t matter how you got started, it’s how you live together. We all were better with her around here. Even Brie. You should think long and hard on this, buddy, because I do believe she just handed away her career on three minutes of Live TV. Not every woman would do that for the man she loves.”

  *****

  “Well, what will you do?” Sal asked.

  Pippa shrugged. “Don’t know yet.”

  “Sales have dropped by seventy-five percent and some distributors have pulled your books from the shelves. I think that’s what you were hoping for.”

  “It wasn’t what I was hoping for. I wanted people to know the truth.” She stared out of her apartment window, watching the rain drizzle down on the cloudy afternoon.

  “Are you sure you didn’t want one person to hear the truth?”

  “Sal, there were so many things I wasn’t sure about until I met Roman.” She laid her hand on her stomach.

  “Are you going to tell him about the baby?”

  She snapped her chin up. “How did you know?”

  “You’ve given up all alcohol. You’re watching everything you eat. And, you’ve been hard to deal with…sorry, sweetie.”

  “I know I should. I’m very early.”

  “I’ve been wrong many times, Pippa, but I owe you an apology. I showed up at that ranch and saw how happy you were and my own self-preservation made me convince Roman that it was best he let you go.”

>   She laid her hand on his. “Sal, although I accept your apology because that was a jerk thing to do, you should know that you weren’t the one that convinced Roman of anything. You just made him ask the right questions. I was the one that convinced him that I wasn’t where I needed to be. You know what they say, you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. This baby, it’s a miracle. Not planned or expected—just as my love for Roman. Yet, it’s amazing that the best things in life happen when we least expect them. Right when we need them to happen most. I should feel such sadness, but I’m relieved. I’m no longer living a lie.”

  Sal stood and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Things will work out, kid. You’ll see. People are forgiving.”

  She patted his hand. “Thank you, Sal.”

  “No problem.”

  Long after she heard the click of the door, she sat staring outside as the rain became heavier and the lightning lit the sky.

  A soft knock came at the door. She opened it to find her world standing in the hallway. His Stetson was tilted. His eyes were shaded. A layer of beard grazed his jaw. And he was the best thing she’d ever laid eyes on. “You’re a long way from home, cowboy.”

  Roman pushed his hat back. “And so are you.”

  She swallowed. Did she hear him right? “I don’t understand.”

  “I came for my wife.” He took a step across the threshold and slammed the door with his foot.

  “But I’m not your wife.”

  “Hell yeah you are. No paper can tell me where my heart is, or where you belong. I’ve been a jerk. I was scared that history was repeating itself and I’d be hurt, ten times worse than last time. I don’t want you to give up your career, sweetheart. It’s who you are.”

  She wrapped her arms around her waist. “You didn’t have to ask. I did that all on my own.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, Roman. I won’t live a lie any longer, or pretend. People needed to hear the truth, to understand that I’ve made mistakes too. I should have been honest from the beginning, especially with you.” She wanted to fall into him, but she had to stay strong. He needed to hear everything.