Seeing Shadows (Shadow Series #1)

by S. H. Kolee

  "Hi Claudia," I said, trying to look into her eyes but she chose that exact moment to sweep her bangs away from her face, obscuring her eyes. "Thanks for coming. I know it was kind of weird to ask you to meet me out of the blue."

  Claudia shrugged lightly. "I figured it must be something important."

  I nodded. "Claudia," I started, staring at her eyes. I felt hope bloom inside of me when I saw her clear grey eyes looking back at me expectantly. Her pupils didn't dilate, obscuring her irises. Aunt Brenda had been wrong. Claudia hadn't been overtaken by her vardoger yet. "Claudia," I said again, this time urgently. "What I'm going to tell you is going to sound crazy. But please, just listen to me until I finish. You can tell me I'm crazy afterwards."

  Claudia nodded warily, looking worried. I rushed on, not wanting to lose my nerve. "I've always had these...visions. Nightmares, you could call them. They were horrific. Of people dying. The people were strangers, except they weren't. After I had dreams of them dying, I would meet them in real life. Like my dreams were predicting the people I would meet."

  I drew in a deep breath, and Claudia continued to just look at me, although I saw concern on her face. "Except they weren't just dreams. I can't explain everything now, but there are these things...these shadows called vardogers. They're a part of you but not a part of you. They look just like you, but aren't you." I made a sound of frustration, realizing I wasn't making sense. My urgency to try and make Claudia understand was making me practically incoherent. I forced myself to focus.

  "I'll just call them shadows," I started again, trying to sound reasonable. "Everyone has a shadow. They used to be harmless, but some shadows started wanting to kill their person to take over their body. To no longer be a shadow. And my dreams predict whose shadows will try and kill them. And I've had a vision...a dream, of your shadow trying to kill you."

  Claudia looked alarmed and she took an instinctive step back. "Uh, Caitlin...you're scaring me. Are you sure you haven't been watching too many episodes of the Twilight Zone?"

  "I know it sounds crazy. It sounded crazy to me too. But it's true. I wish to God it wasn't, but it is." I paused, trying to figure out how to make Claudia believe me. "Have you ever had moments where you didn't feel like yourself. A second where you felt like you didn't have control of your body? Or maybe you couldn't remember what happened a few seconds ago, like you weren't present?"

  Claudia bit her lip and I could see a glimmer of recognition at my description and I grabbed onto it.

  "I can see that you have! Claudia, just consider the possibility that it's true. That I'm trying to save your life. Please."

  Claudia took a deep breath, seeming to consider my words. "I can't deny that there's some truth to those...feelings you described. But to say I have a shadow that's trying to kill me? I don't know." She shook her head and then shivered. "Can we talk about this somewhere else? Somewhere indoors? I'm freezing."

  I sighed in relief. It didn't seem like Claudia was dismissing the idea completely so I still had a chance. I wondered if her vardoger was listening, angered by everything I was telling her. There was still so much I didn't know about all of this. Every time I thought I understood, another question, another uncertainty popped up. I just had to take the chance.

  "Why don't we go to the student center? We can talk in the lounge." The Maxwell student center was only a few buildings away, and the lounge would be relatively quiet on a Sunday night.

  "Sure," Claudia agreed and we fell into step with one another, both of us silent as we made our way to the student center. We both seemed engrossed in our thoughts. I was trying to rehearse what exactly I would say next to try and convince Claudia I was telling the truth.

  We were almost to the student center when Claudia doubled over, clutching her stomach with her arms.

  "Claudia! What's wrong!"

  Claudia moaned and staggered forward into a small alley between the student center and a neighboring science building. She leaned against the wall of the student center building, still bent forward.

  "Claudia!" I rushed over to her, leaning over her and placing my hand on her back. Was this her vardoger? But this wasn't what Aunt Brenda had explained. I didn't know if her vardoger was trying to kill her, but my aunt had said I would actually see the vardoger when this happened. I just saw Claudia in pain.

  "Caitlin," she whispered, her voice anguished. "It hurts so bad."

  The sound of her voice in pain catapulted me into my vision, where Claudia's voice had sounded exactly the same. Full of pain and desperation.

  I dropped to my knees, trying to see her face. "Claudia! What's wrong!"

  Claudia's head whipped up and my breath stopped. Her eyes were clear grey, not black. But they were full of hatred and loathing. Her arms shot up, her hands wrapping around my neck before I even realized what was happening. She seemed to have superhuman strength as her hands squeezed tighter, my throat being crushed by the pressure.

  I stared into her eyes, panic setting in even as I wondered why her eyes were still grey. My body went into action, trying to save itself. My hands scrabbled at my throat, trying to rip her hands off, but they were weak and pathetic against her strength. My legs flailed, trying to kick her, trying to do anything to make her grip loosen, but she sidestepped me easily.

  I lowered one hand, thinking of my necklace, when Claudia grinned viciously, grabbing the chain of my necklace and ripping it off. She was still crushing my throat with one hand and I distractedly wondered how she could be so strong to choke me with one hand. She held the necklace up by the chain, the iridium charm dangling.

  "Do you think this is going to save you?" she snarled, spittle flying out of her mouth. "This pathetic piece of metal is going to save your life? This is nothing." She threw the necklace down the narrow passageway and placed her hand back on my neck, both hands crushing me again.

  I saw spots in front of my eyes as my vision began to haze over. Was this how it was going to end? I felt life leaving my body, my lungs weakening their strain for air as they gave up the fight. I felt as if I was removed from the scene, as if I was watching one of my visions from afar. I felt sadness that I was dying so soon after finding my aunt. I would never get to know her. I felt regret that Sarah would suffer after I died, second guessing whether she could have done something to prevent my death.

  But my greatest regret was Simon. How could I save him now? And I had never told him I loved him. Maybe that was for the best. A dead girl's love wasn't worth much. I hoped that he would somehow be safe. Maybe my aunt would try to help him after she learned I had died. I hoped Simon would be safe and find happiness. That he would pursue his dreams and find a normal girl who could return his affections without reservation. Like he deserved.

  Even though I was slowly letting myself go, there was a part of me that pushed against it, furious that I was relenting. It was this part of me that remembered the coin in my pocket. The one that my aunt had given me.

  With my last bit of strength, I reached down into my pocket. Claudia was too busy staring into my eyes, enjoying watching the life slip out of them, to notice what I was doing. I fumbled for the coin in my pocket and pulled it out, reaching up and pushing my hand against her face, pressing it against her.

  Claudia let out a pained scream as she backed away, her hands dropping from my throat. Even though she didn't have my neck in a vise-like grip anymore, I still felt as though I could hardly pull air into my lungs. I tried to heave deep breaths in, but it was more like wheezing. My airways rattled as I fought to inhale.

  Claudia's face was full of fury, even as she backed away. "You bitch. You think you've won? This is nothing." I held one hand to my damaged throat but I held the coin in the other, waving it in front of me as if it was a talisman.

  Claudia hissed at the movement of my hand. "Pretty soon that piece of metal will be meaningless." Her eyes narrowed as a slow smile stretched across her face. "How's Simon? I have a friend that's looking for him. He's looking for you too."
She then turned and ran, faster than I thought was humanly possible.

  I lay on the ground, trying to breathe as my mind raced with Claudia's words. What did she mean? Was she talking about Simon's vardoger? Fear was choking me, almost as much as Claudia's hands had. I forced myself to concentrate on trying to breathe, knowing that I was useless as long as I was laying there incapacitated.

  It seemed like forever, but finally I was able to draw in deep breaths, even though it was still painful to breathe. I stumbled out from beside the building. It seemed ludicrous that life seemed to be going on as normal when I stepped out of the alley. I saw a few students loitering outside of the student center, having no idea what had happened.

  I ran as quickly as I could to my apartment, my only thought that I would call my aunt as soon as I got home. I needed a quiet space where I could attempt to explain what had just happened. I prayed that she could help me. Maybe she had some answers from her inner circle. I didn't know what else to do.

  As if she was reading my thoughts all the way from Connecticut, my cell phone rang as I was running up the steps to my apartment and I saw that it was her.

  "Hello?" I said breathlessly as I unlocked the front door and stepped inside. I switched on the light, relieved to find the apartment empty. Sarah must already be at the East End.

  "Caitlin!" my aunt exclaimed urgently. "Thank God you answered."

  I sat down on the couch, my hand trembling at her tone. "What's wrong?"

  "So much. So much is wrong." My aunt's voice vibrated with emotion. She sounded completely different from the self-possessed woman I had met earlier today. She sounded panicked and scared. "I met with the other seers. The ones I told you about. I had them put me under hypnosis."

  I tensed as I remembered my aunt telling me how dangerous it was. I instantly understood that she had put herself in danger for my benefit. I wished I had time to appreciate her concern for me, but now was not the time. "What happened?"

  "I saw so much. I don't know if it was because I'm already connected to you by blood or if it's because you're more powerful that any seer we've ever encountered. Or if it's because the vardogers are evolving faster than ever. But there are several vardogers after you, not just your own. And we're not sure if you can protect yourself against the other vardogers like you can with your own. The rules seem to be changing. Vardogers, as evil as they were, worked independently. They weren't able to communicate with each other, work as a team. They weren't able to recognize other vardogers. But when I was under hypnosis, I saw that the vardogers were able to work together against you."

  The hand holding the phone to my ear shook violently, and I had to press it harder against my ear to not drop it. "Why are they working against me?" I cried, wanting this all to be a nightmare. "Aren't I just another seer? I mean, from what you tell me, there seems to be plenty of us out there. Why would I be their target?" I shrank back into the couch, my eyes darting around the room as if I expected shadows to jump out and grab me. If only my fears were ludicrous.

  "Seers aren't that common, but you're right Caitlin," my aunt replied. I could hear her trying to steady her voice, realizing that I was losing control. "You shouldn't be the target of these vardogers. But it seems now that they can work together, the vardogers sense that your power, even untapped, is so great that it's a threat to them all. They're going to try and do anything to destroy you."

  I wanted to whimper in fear, but steeled myself. Crying wouldn't save me. It wouldn't save Simon. "How many are after me?"

  "I'm not sure of the exact number but at least four. I saw your vardoger, and you called out the names of three other vardogers as they came after you. One of them was Claudia's vardoger, the one you said was in your vision. But it was no longer just a shadow. Her vardoger has already overtaken her body."

  My aunt paused, taking in a deep breath and then continued. "The other vardoger had short brown hair and you called it Sarah. You called the fourth vardoger Simon. It looked like your friend in the car when you visited me."

  My heart stopped as I heard a rushing in my ears. My best friend and the boy I loved were trying to kill me. More accurately, their vardogers were trying to kill me. I then thought of Claudia's attack.

  "Claudia just attacked me. She tried to choke me, but I was able to stop her with the iridium coin you gave me. But I tested her with her name. Her pupils didn't dilate. They looked totally normal!" I shrieked the last part, as if I was accusing my aunt of giving me misinformation. I realized I was on the edge of hysteria but I was too scared to pull myself back.

  "I don't know, Caitlin," my aunt said, her voice anguished. "I'm so sorry, but I don't know why she didn't have the tell. Thank God you were able to get away. But you have to get out of there. She's going to come after you again. And the other vardogers. Sarah's and Simon's. They've detached themselves from their persons, but somehow they have enough strength to come after you. To try and enter your body. I don't know how, since they should have no connection to you. I know you've had visions of Simon, but that shouldn't give his vardoger the ability to enter you. But I saw it happen when I was under. They're going to come after you, but I believe that you can destroy them."

  My heart thundered as I frantically thought of what to do next. "But I've never even had a vision of Sarah. And Simon...."

  "It doesn't matter," Aunt Brenda explained urgently. "Sarah's vardoger has already marked you. And Simon's vardoger...when you had that second vision. With the shower curtain. It was on purpose. It created that vision on purpose. It was somehow able to control what you saw. And it was mocking you."

  I didn't think I could take anymore. The thought of anything happening to Sarah and Simon...I couldn't bear the thought. Sarah had been my rock, the person who I could confide in, who believed in me when no one else had.

  And Simon. The thought of Simon being hurt was unbearable. And it was my fault. If the vardogers hadn't sensed something in me, weren't after me, there was probably a good chance that Simon would never be in danger. My aunt was right. I had to run. I had to leave Sarah and Simon behind, to battle their vardogers without putting them in danger. Their vardogers would follow me and they would be safe.

  "You're right," I said in a low voice. "I need to leave."

  "Caitlin," my aunt said. "Come here. We'll do this together. I care-"

  Aunt Brenda suddenly stopped speaking, drawing in a sharp breath. "How can you be here," she whispered, but I knew she wasn't talking to me.

  "Aunt Brenda!" I yelled into the phone. "What's happening!?"

  But she didn't answer and when she spoke again, her voice sounded far away, as if the phone had been pulled away from her. "Oh my God!" she yelled. And then she screamed. The scream was blood curdling, chilling me to my bones. It was a scream that no human should ever have to hear.

  "Aunt Brenda!" I screamed as I started to cry, not understanding what was happening. "Aunt Brenda! What's happening!?"

  Her scream stopped abruptly. The sudden silence was deafening and I held my breath, straining to hear anything.

  "Hello? Aunt Brenda?" My voice quivered, barely a whisper. But no one answered.

  That's when I heard it. The breathing. Someone or something was breathing into the phone. And I knew it wasn't my aunt.

  I clenched my teeth tightly together as shivers wracked my body. I didn't dare speak, scared that whatever was on the other end would be able to track me by my voice. But I couldn't hang up the phone either. I had to keep the connection to my aunt open.

  Then the phone clicked dead. Whoever...whatever was on the other end had disconnected the call.

  The phone dropped from my numb hand as I sat there, horrified. Was my aunt okay? What had happened? I felt immobilized as I thought about everything she had told me. It was only seconds but it felt like hours while I contemplated what to do.

  And then I sprang into action.

  I picked up my phone from the floor and quickly dialed 9-1-1.

  "9-1-1. What's your eme
rgency?"

  "I think something's happened to Brenda Kile. She lives on 526 Guardian Way in Norwalk, Connecticut. I was on the phone with her and it sounded like she was attacked."

  "Can I get your name? And what exactly transpired on the call?"

  I hung up the phone, having nothing else to say. It wouldn't matter what I said. I just needed them to check her house, to see if there was a way to save her from whatever had attacked her. And something had attacked her. I was sure of it.

  I turned off my phone, not wanting to hear the call back from 9-1-1 which I was sure was inevitable. I then threw it on the couch. I wouldn't be taking it with me. I had an irrational fear that I would be able to be tracked by my phone. Although nothing seemed irrational now.

  I needed to leave. I first had to get to Connecticut, to try and find out what happened to my aunt. But more importantly, I needed to draw the vardogers away from Sarah and Simon. If I couldn't save myself, I would save them.

  I went on autopilot, grabbing a bag in my bedroom and stuffing clothes, my wallet and anything else I thought I would need. I wasn't sure what I would find in Connecticut, and I wasn't sure where I would be going afterwards, but I needed to pack light. Unfortunately the banks were closed but I would have the cab stop at an ATM before the train station so I could take out as much money as possible.

  With that thought, I grabbed the yellow pages and dialed the number of a local cab company, ordering a car to pick me up as soon as possible. Fortunately the dispatcher said a cab would be over in ten minutes. I had a fleeting thought of taking Sarah's car and leaving a note, but I didn't want Sarah and Simon to be able to track me. Even though eventually they would figure out that I took a train out of Rochester, I wanted to get as far away as possible before they realized it.

  Because I knew they would try and find me. Sarah wouldn't understand why I left, especially since I had never told her what was really happening. And Simon. Simon loved me. I knew deep in my heart that he would never stop trying to find me.

  Because of those reasons, I grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen, not realizing tears were streaming down my face as I wrote. The note went beyond wanting to prevent them from looking for me. I wrote what was in my heart because I realized that this was probably my farewell.