by Maree Green
“Ditto, babe,” she said, squeezing me back. “Ditto.”
Chapter 38
Daniel
Deployed time: 4 weeks
We arrived back in Hasaka a few hours ahead of the biggest dust storm any of the guys had ever seen. It wasn’t known how long it would take to blow over, but after two days locked inside to avoid breathing in the crap, I was starting to go a little stir crazy. It wouldn’t have been so bad if we’d been able to get in contact with family back home, but the storm had brought communications down with it.
Lying back on my cot, I let my defenses down and pulled out one of the pictures I had of Amy. My chest throbbed as I took in every tiny detail of her features. I missed her so much. I wondered what she was doing right now.
Checking my watch, I worked out that it would’ve been somewhere around nine o’clock the night before back in the States. Would she be lying in bed, thinking of me too?
Before my thoughts could linger on it too much, I swung my legs around and sat up, just as Nelson pushed his way inside, followed closely by Johns and a few guys from the other squads.
“Comms are up,” he said, grinning. “No phones, but we should be able to check e-mail.”
Relief, excitement, and anxiety assaulted me all at once. Pushing myself up to stand, I heard Nelson laugh as he sank down on his cot with his laptop.
Pulling out my own, I sat back down on the side of my cot and quickly signed in to open my e-mails. The loading process felt like it was taking forever. My stomach knotted as I watched it.
Finally, the page opened and new e-mails started popping up. I held my breath as I watched, waiting for a reply from Amy.
There were e-mails from both of my parents, one from a guy I’d gone to military school with, and one from a guy I’d met in boot camp. Then it appeared. An e-mail from Amy. Dated the same day I’d e-mailed her almost four weeks ago.
From: Amy Benson [email protected]
To: Daniel Stephenson [email protected]
Date: Mon, Apr 11, 2016 at 6:56 PM
Subject: RE: miss you already
Oh my god, I’m crying already!
I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon :))))
I can’t explain to you just how much I miss you, but I guess I don’t really have to.
My head’s a mess as I’m writing this. There are things I need to tell you, but I have no idea how. It’s not something I wanted to say to you through written words. I want to hear your voice, see your face and hold your hands. But I can’t, and now I don’t know how to write it…
Something terrible spiked inside me. I thought it might have been panic. I couldn’t stop my mind from dredging up Nelson’s words. With my head reeling, I let my gaze fly over her words, bracing myself, hating myself for needing to expect the worst.
I hate this. I hate having to do it this way because I need to know how you feel when I tell you. I need to know I haven’t ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me. All I can ask is that as soon as you read this, can you please reply. Please put me out of my misery – yes, as dramatic as it might sound, I am in misery here…
So I’m just going to say it. Here goes… (Oh God!) …I’m pregnant.
The doctor says I’m four weeks today, which means it would’ve happened around the time we got married. I know this is my fault. I messed up. I didn’t think about the pill losing its effectiveness when I had that vomiting bug. I just didn’t think. I’m sorry
Please message me. I love you. A.
I stared at those two little words on the screen, seeing but not seeing. I wasn’t sure if my head was spinning or if it was blank. Amy was pregnant. I was going to be a dad.
A small voice inside my head was asking how the hell that was possible. Another part could make total sense of everything Amy had said. Of course the vomiting bug would’ve compromised the pill’s effectiveness. It was a no-brainer, really. But we’d both had a lot going on at the time, so yeah, I think we could both be forgiven for not seeing that one coming.
I read back over her words, this time seeing her worry for what it really was. She was stressed over how I was going to react. Didn’t she know I wanted everything with her?
Putting my laptop beside me, I stood and paced a few steps, linking my fingers together behind my head.
“Everything all right, man?”
I glanced over at Nelson, his concerned features sharpening my senses somewhat.
Inhaling slow and deep, I nodded. “Yeah, man. Just processing some stuff.” I wasn’t ready to share this just yet, if ever.
Sitting back on my cot, I opened the next one. It was dated a week later.
From: Amy Benson [email protected]
To: Daniel Stephenson [email protected]
Date: Mon, Apr 18, 2016 at 7:06 AM
Subject: RE: miss you already
Daniel,
I know you said you didn’t know if you would be able to contact me much, and that’s fine. I just hate that I don’t know if you’ve read the last e-mail I sent. I hate wondering if you’ve read it and just can’t respond because you’re upset or angry. I hate not knowing how you feel about it. Please, please, if you’ve read it, answer me. I just need to know :’(
Amy
Shit. Grabbing my laptop, I started typing.
From: Daniel Stephenson [email protected]
To: Amy Benson [email protected]
Date: Fri, May 6, 2016 at 11:42 AM
Subject: RE: missing you already
You’re seriously pregnant??? I’m really going to be a dad?
I stared at the short message, my brain apparently not able to cope with anything more than that. Before I could stop myself, I hit send.
“Shit,” I said, blinking at the little message that told me it had been sent. Why the fuck hadn’t I added something to tell her I was good with it?
I shook my head. Was I good with it? I mean, it wasn’t great timing, but that was just typical of my life with Amy. Everything so far had been unexpected, but that didn’t mean it was bad. On the contrary, it was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
Starting a family hadn’t been a large part of any conversation we’d ever had, but we had mentioned it in passing. I knew without a doubt that I wanted this with her. I just hadn’t thought about it being something in our immediate future.
Clicking on the sent message, I hit reply and started typing again, but then my laptop pinged and a new message appeared. Amy. She’d replied already.
From: Amy Benson [email protected]
To: Daniel Stephenson [email protected]
Date: Fri, May 6, 2016 at 11:45 AM
Subject: RE: missing you already
I’m really sorry Daniel. I know this was the worst way to tell you, but I didn’t know how else to do it. Please don’t be mad.
A.
From: Daniel Stephenson [email protected]
To: Amy Benson [email protected]
Date: Fri, May 6, 2016 at 11:48 AM
Subject: RE: missing you already
Princess, mad is the farthest thing from what I am right now. I’m a little shocked, but mad? Hell no. We’re having a baby! I seriously hate that I’m not there to share this with you, but believe me when I say I AM happy. I want everything with you, Princess. Babies and all.
How have you been? Have you been sick? Make sure you go through those numbers I left with you. All the insurance details are in there. All right? Have you told anyone else yet? When are you due??
So many things were going through my head I was having trouble compartmentalizing them. Anxiously, I waited for her to reply. The second it came through, I opened it and soaked up her words.
From: Amy Benson [email protected]
To: Daniel Stephenson [email protected]
Date: Fri, May 6, 2016 at 11:51 AM
Subject: RE: missing you already
Do you know how hard it is to type while you’re
crying?? I love you so much! I know this isn’t exactly what we planned – not that we’ve gotten to plan much of anything, but it makes me a little bit happy knowing I have a piece of you inside me.
I’ve been feeling a little bit sick. I’m not sure if that’s morning sickness or just stress. I guess I’ll figure that out soon enough. Your mom’s been looking after me though. And David. He got me in with Dr. Anderson at his clinic. She’s wonderful. And a very experienced OB. I will definitely look into the insurance details and pass them to her.
The only people that know at the moment are your mom, Seth, Amber, and David and Kathryn. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell you first. I actually hate that. But I really needed help
And I’m almost 8 weeks now. We’re due December 17. Lots of time for you to spend with your fat wife after you get home
A
Reading the last of her e-mail, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I tried to picture Amy with a very large baby bump, the image doing something very strange to my chest. If I didn’t think I had enough to fight for to make it home before today, I certainly did now. I was going to be a freaking dad.
Chapter 39
Amy
Deployed time: 5 weeks
Everything changed the day I received the e-mails from Daniel. All the worry, doubt, and fear I was holding onto lifted, leaving me smiling for the first time since we were married. Knowing he was happy about the baby allowed me to focus on just myself and our baby, and making sure we were healthy.
Before Daniel deployed, I’d come to an arrangement with Alex about work, agreeing I would stay on as his PA until Daniel returned from his tour of duty in November. Being able to stay working where I was happy was the only good thing I thought had come from Daniel’s deployment so far.
Walking into work early Monday morning, I tried to calm my nerves. Even though I’d read it was best to wait until I was through my first trimester before I let people know I was pregnant, I decided telling Alex would be the polite thing to do in my circumstance. Besides, it wasn’t that long until I reached that mark anyway.
Knocking on his door, I cracked it open to check he wasn’t busy.
“Amy,” he said, dropping a folder onto the desk with a smile. “How was your weekend?”
I grinned. “It was good.”
His eyes narrowed, but his smile widened. “I can see. You seem very bright today.”
Moving to the chair in front of his desk, I sat and smoothed down my skirt, trying to remember the words I’d rehearsed in the car. “I have some news.”
Alex sat back and waited, intrigue a spark in his eyes.
Inhaling deeply, I let it out in a rush. “I’m pregnant.”
I watched his eyes widen as shock replaced all his emotions. “Holy shit.” He sat forward a fraction and shook his head as though trying to clear it. “I take it from your bright mood that you’re happy about this? I mean, I’m kinda trying to figure out how I’m supposed to be reacting. I’m a little out of my depth here.”
I laughed. That was typical Alex. “I’m happy. Well, now I’m happy.” I caught his confused stare and smiled. “I spoke to Daniel over the weekend. Well, we e-mailed. It was the first time we’d been able to talk since he’s been gone, so before that, I had five weeks of knowing but not knowing how I should be feeling.”
“So he knows now? He’s good with it?”
I laughed, feeling so light I didn’t even know it was possible. “Yeah, he’s happy.”
Alex nodded as though he liked what he heard before sitting back again. “Now I feel fucking old.”
“Oh my God, it’s not like you’re that much older than me. You’re only twenty-four.”
He sighed. “I guess. Rachel just left a very sour taste in my mouth when it comes to dating, so the thought of anything more than casual doesn’t give me the warm and fuzzies.”
Of course, I’d heard all about Rachel through Amber when it all went down. Apparently, she was only dating Alex for the lifestyle, leaving Alex with a very large credit card debt when they broke up.
“You can’t just give up, though. Good women are out there. You’re just looking in the wrong places,” I said, feeling a little bad for him.
Letting out a dry laugh, he tapped his pen on the desk. “That’s the problem, then, I guess. I can only meet women when I’m at work functions, so that kind of limits the type I’m bound to meet. To be honest, I’m so off dating at the moment, I don’t think I’d even see a good one if she fell into my lap.”
“Then just fly solo for a while. The right one will come when the time’s right.”
Alex glanced up to the ceiling. “If only it was that easy. Mr. Fallon’s leaning on me. Heavily. He’s made it very clear he’s a family man and won’t deal with people flying solo.”
My mouth popped open. “That’s ridiculous. What if you had the best idea and the best price? Why would he just look you over because you weren’t married? That doesn’t seem like a very good way to do business to me.”
“Exactly,” Alex said. “But it’s an amazing opportunity. He has three developments coming up over the next three years, and each one is worth millions. I don’t want to miss out purely because I haven’t met the right woman yet.” He laughed. “Like any woman is going to put up with me anyway. I’m never home.”
I couldn’t argue with that. The man seemed to live at the office. He was always here.
“So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. He won’t even talk to anyone at the networking events if they don’t have a partner with them. Believe me, I’ve tried. It’s driving me insane.”
“Why don’t you just take a friend? Surely you have some nice female friends.”
He cocked his eyebrow at me. “You would think, wouldn’t you? But no, I don’t. The only single girls I know always seem to want something more from me. The rest are already married or in serious relationships. I don’t trust that easily anymore.”
“You know,” I said, thinking back on something my brother had told me a few weeks before. “When I saw Seth last time, he mentioned that a girl he went to college with paid for her entire tuition by working at this escort place here in town. Maybe you should look into that. From what he told me, it sounded quite professional.”
The look on Alex’s face was comical. “You’re talking about a brothel, Amy. You think I should hire a prostitute?”
I laughed, but my face heated too. “Oh my God! It’s not a brothel. Okay, I admit the way I explained it may have made it sound that way, but it’s really not. It’s for high-profile gentlemen such as yourself who need a classy date and don’t have time for complications.”
He gave me another withering look.
“I swear!”
Laughing, he shook his head. He still didn’t believe me. I actually had no idea if it was a brothel or not. Seth didn’t seem to think so. At the time he’d told me, I didn’t actually care.
“Whatever. I’m going to get the details for you anyway.”
Pushing myself to stand, I gave him a smug grin and strutted from the room to start my day.
Chapter 40
Daniel
Deployed time: 6 weeks
Standing in the comms tent, Nelson grinned and slapped me on the back. “Shit’s about to get real. You ready to do this, Stephenson?”
Exhaling steadily, I nodded. We’d just been given the green light to advance to Raqqa to gather as much intel as we could in relation to the reported bombing of Kobane. Satellites had already given us an idea of where their weapons store was, but civilian fatalities needed to be avoided at all costs, so ground confirmation was imperative.