by Maree Green
Laughter filled the room as Amber was playfully pushed off the sofa, rolling onto the floor in a fit of giggles.
The front door flew open. “Who the hell said the party could start without us?”
I startled at the five new faces pouring inside. I had no idea they were coming. This was the second time they’d surprised me like this.
With tears of happiness blurring my vision, I jumped up to give Mia a hug. “I can’t believe you guys are here. Again.”
“We wouldn’t miss it for anything,” she said, squeezing me back.
Matt laughed before pulling me away from Mia to give me his own hug. “You can thank Mia and her super awesome skills of organization. We’d still be sitting on our bus eating Cheetos otherwise.”
Yeah, that sounded about right.
Matt chuckled before passing me to Aiden, who passed me to Dean, who passed me to Jace. It was perfect.
“It’s good to see you, pretty girl,” Jace said, pressing me to his chest. Releasing me, he glanced across the room, his eyes lighting up. “And here’s the girl of the hour.”
Sounds of oohs and awws echoed around the room as Susan came in, carrying a very cute little Mae. It had been hard to find an outfit that fit her, she was still so small. I almost resorted to buying doll clothes, but then Amber found an online store that handmade preemie clothes. I may have overspent, but I didn’t care. She looked adorable.
As we all found a seat and Mae was gently passed from one aunt or uncle to the next, I glanced around at these people who were now my family, and realized my heart was finally starting to soothe. For the first time since Daniel went missing, I felt a tiny piece of happiness. Photos were snapped. Jokes were made at Josh’s expense. Music was played and songs were sung.
When Mae woke, the first person to pick her up was Ryan. He smiled warmly at her before his eyes widened with horror. “Oh my God. What have you done?” he asked, trying to hold her away from him a little.
I giggled. I could only imagine.
Ryan held Mae out to Amber. “I think she needs you.”
Amber, already laughing, put her hand up to stop him. “Oh no. She’s all yours. They’re the rules. You discover the poop, you change the poop.”
Everyone was now in fits of laughter.
Ryan stood, still holding Mae, but it was clear he was trying to distance himself from the smell. Giving me a withering look, he turned and started toward the stairs. I waited until he was all the way up before I followed. I wanted to make him sweat.
“You should just make him do it,” Amber said, unable to keep the smirk off her face.
“I shudder to think of the mess I’d find up there later.”
Sneaking up the stairs, I peered around the corner into Daniel’s—now Mae’s and my—room. Ryan had Mae on the changing table, his hand on her tummy, while he searched for what he’d need.
“Wipes are in that basket there,” I said, pointing under the table as I walked in.
Giving me a dry look, he reached down with his free hand and grabbed a handful.
I giggled. “It’s okay. You don’t have to change her.”
Shaking the wipes out, he grabbed a diaper and placed it on the table next to Mae. “No, no. I got this. Maybe you can just tell me if I do something wrong.”
Lowering myself onto the edge of the bed, I watched him remove the diaper and carefully wipe her down. He used three times as many wipes as was needed, and took twice as long as it should’ve, but he managed to clean her up okay.
Opening the new diaper, he lifted up her legs and awkwardly slid it beneath her.
“It’s back to front,” I said, trying hard not to laugh.
He frowned and looked at the offending thing before turning it around and sticking the tabs down. “It’s too big,” he said, scowling at the gaping space between the diaper and her stomach.
“Yeah, she’s still a bit too small for those diapers. You have to stick the tabs all the way to the side, over the top of each other.”
“Oh.” Unsticking them, he tried again, this time succeeding. “There. Ta-da!” he said, lifting Mae up and smiling at her. “I told you Uncle Ryan could do it.”
Mae grinned at him.
“You want to go to your momma while I clean this mess up?” he said, passing her to me with a triumphant smile.
I smirked. “Yes, yes, Uncle Ryan is very clever, isn’t he?”
Laying Mae down along the crease between my legs, I let her tiny hand grip my thumb. When Ryan was done cleaning up, he sat on the bed beside me and looked down at her with me.
“She’s beautiful, Amy. So perfect.” Glancing up at me, he took my hand. “And you’re an amazing mom. But I always knew you would be.”
I stilled, feeling the weight of his hand in mine. He’d held my hand before, but this time, together with his words, the tone of his voice, and the look in his eyes, it felt different. More intimate.
I waited, letting each of those things touch me, allowing myself to feel each one and work out how it made me feel.
“Amy . . . ” he said, looking down at our hands. “I know a lot of things have happened over the last year. A lot of horrible things. And I know you’re still trying to figure out how to shape your life around them.” His brow creased as he sifted through his thoughts. “I just want you to know that I’ll always be here for you and Mae. In whatever way you want me to be. I just . . . I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re alone. I’m going to do everything I can to show you that I’m here for you. Okay?”
I knew exactly what he was saying. Exactly what he was offering. And he’d so innocently touched on the one thing that hurt me the most. Loneliness. Knowing someone was there for me was the one thing I missed more than anything.
Giving his hand a little squeeze, I carefully slipped out of his grasp and smiled. “Thank you. That really means a lot to me. More than you could know.”
Ryan nodded, seeming content, then he scooped Mae up into his arms. “Let’s get the little princess back down to her party, then.”
I watched him walk out the door, the word princess ringing in my ears. Swallowing down the rising emotions, I raised my chin and followed him out.
When we made it back downstairs, Amber demanded presents be opened. Ryan and Noah volunteered to be the hosts, constantly getting up and down, passing gifts, and carefully assembling anything that needed putting together. It was fun.
When we were done, I completed another round of hugs before starting to tidy up. I laughed at Noah staring out the window yet again. Turning to Kaeli, I giggled. “Do you think he wants to go out there and tell them what they’re doing wrong?”
Glancing over at Noah, she stifled a laugh. “Probably. He’s been mumbling all afternoon that they should be alternating or circulating or something.”
We watched Noah lean forward to get a better look outside before he strode for the door and slipped out the front. Kaeli and I burst out laughing.
Shaking my head, I continued picking up pieces of wrapping paper off the floor, while the others tidied up the empty plates. All of a sudden I felt very tired. It had been a good day, but the missing pieces of me were still hurting. I was learning to live with it a little better each day, but it still took its toll on me.
Shoving the last of it into a trash bag, I stilled when the room suddenly fell quiet. Alarmed, I looked to Amber for answers, but her gaze was at the door, her eyes wide with shock.
My body spun, confusion making the room blur. And then my whole world stopped.
Standing in the doorway, his gaze owning me, was a marine.
My marine.
The bag fell from my hand. Every emotion I’d buried over the past nine months burst free from their restraints, surging up from the depths of me, until I could no longer breathe. I desperately tried to make sense of what I was seeing. My mind, trying so hard to protect me, screamed, telling me not to believe it, because if it weren’t true, I would surely not survive.
A sob escape
d. My hands clasped over my mouth.
He was still there. Standing with his gaze like a mirror of my own, pained and heartbroken.
I crumbled, the enormity of it too much for me to bear. My knees hit the carpet the same time arms caught me and pulled me into their embrace. He was here. He was really here. His scent told me it was true.
Throwing my arms around his neck, I clung to him, my fingers digging into his skin, grasping at his hair, my face burying into the warmth of his neck as I cried the tears of the past six months. The worst six months of my life.
His arms tightened around me, and I heard him sob into my hair. I cried harder. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”
Forcing myself to loosen my grip, I pulled back and took his face in my hands, my eyes raking over every inch of it. I needed to see him. I needed to convince myself this wasn’t a dream.
The heartache that stared back at me made me cry yet again. I kissed his lips, his cheeks, his closed eyes, before clutching him to me again. I couldn’t let him go. I didn’t think I was ever going to be able to let him go. The thought actually scared me.
“I love you so much, Amy,” he choked out into my hair.
And again, I cried.
Chapter 60
Daniel
Deep blue eyes, framed by long dark lashes, gazed up at me from the nest of blankets on the bed. Sleepily, she yawned, her perfect little mouth forming a cute O as she stretched.
Gently, I ran my thumb across her plump little cheek, watching her eyes flutter closed before opening again to stare up at me.
I grinned. “I’m not going anywhere, Princess. You can go to sleep. I promise I’ll still be here when you wake up.”
Kissing her forehead, I continued to stroke her cheek until her eyelids fluttered and her mouth fell lax with complete contentment.
“I thought I was your princess.”
I glanced up at the sound of Amy’s voice from the door. She was leaning against the frame, a soft smile on her lips and a cup of coffee clasped in her hands as she watched me.
Inhaling slow and deep, I tried to calm the rising emotions that still swept through me when I saw her. “You’re both my princesses.”
Grinning, she pushed off the frame and started coming toward me. “I can handle that. She’s worthy of sharing the title with.”
Gazing down at Mae’s sleeping form, I smiled. “She really is. I honestly didn’t think it was possible for me to love anyone as much as I love you.” I looked up to meet Amy’s gaze. “But I do. More than my next breath.” Smiling, I shook my head. “I just can’t stop looking at her. She’s so beautiful. Just like her momma.”
Amy sat on her side of the bed and reached her hand out to grasp mine. She didn’t say anything. She just watched me while I watched her.
It had been like that since I’d been back. Just moments of overwhelming emotion, where words had no place. Had no way of conveying the enormity of what was going on inside us.
It was slowly getting easier, but the time we both faced thinking we might not ever see each other again was still too fresh in our minds. It wasn’t far enough in our pasts to be forgotten.
To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if I really wanted it to be forgotten. Having been so close to losing her made me realize just how much she meant to me. And that wasn’t something I ever wanted to forget.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” she asked, worry creeping into her gaze.
It took me a minute to realize she was talking about my service. I’d received my honorable discharge late yesterday afternoon. Even though I’d requested it, it’d still been confusing to accept. I didn’t know who I was without the Marines. That had been what I’d wanted for so long, it made me nervous to think of my life without it.
I felt my brow crease as I thought about her question. “Yeah, I think so. I can’t go back. I know that much. I just have to figure out what’s next for me. It’s a bit disorientating not having any direction.”
Amy grinned. “I know what you mean.” Then she looked down at Mae. “But I have my direction now.”
Mae stirred and opened her eyes. She didn’t cry as she looked at me. She just watched. Amy told me the day I’d come home that she’d never been like that with anyone else. Just me. I liked that. It was as though she just knew where she fit with me.
Giving her a little smile, I clicked my tongue. “What are you doing awake? I told you I wasn’t going anywhere.”
Her bottom lip quivered and her eyes watered.
“Aw, don’t cry, Princess. You’ll make Daddy sad.”
Her face relaxed, but the tears still trickled down her face.
Brushing them away with my thumb, I soothed her worried eyes. “Are you hungry? Do you want Daddy to get you a bottle?”
Amy smirked and shifted off the bed. “I’ll go fix it while you get her up.”
Without taking my eyes off the little porcelain doll beside me, I hummed. “Okay.”
Climbing from the bed in just my pajama pants, I gently scooped Mae into my arms and headed to her room to grab a diaper. I was still trying to get used to the fact that Ryan’s room was now Mae’s nursery. Strangely, Ryan had packed up and left for New York the day after I’d arrived home. The move had shocked everyone, mostly because he’d agreed to take the internship with Dad. As much as I detested the old man, I thought the move would do Ryan some good. He needed a good dose of reality.
Collecting what I needed, I went downstairs to find Amy, but was stopped by the sound of a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” I called, changing direction.
Unlocking the latch, I pulled it open and frowned, confused by the figure standing before me. It was obviously a guy, but I had no idea who. He wore a Lakers cap, dark sunglasses, and a baggy hoodie.
I pulled Mae a little closer. “Can I help you?”
The guy shifted. “I hope so.” Then he pulled off his glasses and gave me a nervous glance. “Can we go inside, though?”
Understanding kicked in immediately. It was Joshua Emerson. The movie star. I’d been a little surprised to see him in my mom’s house the day I’d arrived home, but it had been a passing thought. I’d had more important things to worry about.
After Amy and I had finished crying and were able to stop clinging to one another, we’d found the room had emptied, which I would be eternally grateful for. Her family had given us the time we needed to connect before bringing Mae in, and then, eventually, everyone else.
They hadn’t stayed long. Just enough for us all to celebrate and catch up. Much like the day Amy and I married. They were good people.
Standing to the side, I let him pass before closing the door behind him. With a grunt, he instantly started shedding his disguise.
Amy appeared from the kitchen, bottle in hand, and froze. “Josh. What are you doing here?”
Giving her a smirk, he shrugged. “I was just in the neighborhood.”
I watched her roll her eyes at him before striding forward to hand me the bottle. “Come and sit down, then. Mae’s hungry.”
I smirked at her authoritative tone. I loved how she didn’t have stars in her eyes when he was around.
We moved to the sofa, and I positioned Mae comfortably in my arms before offering her the bottle.
“I know this probably isn’t the best time, ” Josh started. Giving me a deadpan look, he scoffed. “Fuck, I know it’s not the best time. But I’m heading back to L.A. tomorrow, and I wanted to run something by you before I left. Just something I want you to think about.”
I glanced at Amy, a little surprised he was talking to me. I was curious.
Josh shifted in his seat. “I need to do something about my security.”
I nodded, remembering the small conversation that had passed the day I’d come home. I specifically remembered the jokes everyone had made about his rent-a-cops. I didn’t understand why he wanted to talk to me, though. Was he just looking for some advice? I wasn’t sure I’d be much he
lp. I didn’t know the first thing about celebrity life.
“Were you still serious about leaving the Marines?” he asked.
The strange feeling I’d had in my gut since my discharge stirred. “It’s done,” I said. “Got the papers yesterday.”
Interest sparked in his eyes, and he nodded. “Okay, well, that works.”
Amy scowled. “What are you talking about, Josh?”
Josh shifted again. He couldn’t seem to sit still. Leaning forward, he looked directly at me. “I have a proposition for you.”