Our Alternate Ending

by Katie Fox

  I shook my head, afraid any words spoken would be accompanied by a sob, but when he stared at me, unconvinced, I cleared my throat and forced out the lie. “No. I’m okay.”

  I didn’t want to ruin this.

  Tilting my hips upward in a silent indication for him to move, I held his eyes, hoping he wouldn’t see through my deceit.

  He rocked forward, a slow and measured thrust, and when the tears fell harder down my cheeks, he stopped. “No, you’re not, Elle.” Panic filled his tone. He pulled back and I held on to him, keeping him in place. This wasn’t how this was supposed go. We were supposed to make love. We were supposed to forget about what our future held and lose ourselves in the now, and my stupid emotions were ruining it. Owen tilted his head to the side, something that looked a lot like fear swirling in his dark green pools. “Talk to me, baby. Please.”

  I couldn’t ignore the pleading in his voice. “You know what, you’re right. I’m not okay.” A hiccupped sob escaped my throat, and I tried to pull air into my lungs, but to no avail. I choked and spluttered on my next words. “You’re dying, Owen, and I'm not okay.”

  Owen quickly rolled off me and gathered me in his arms, the wetness of his tears mixing with my own as he kissed my forehead. “Listen to me. I need you to listen to me, okay? Do you feel this?” He pressed my hand to his chest. “My heart is beating for you, Elle. It has been from the moment you first stepped foot in my office, and even when it stops, it will still be beating for you. I’m not going anywhere just yet. I have all of this love in my heart, and I plan on spending every single second I have left giving it to you, loving you. Do you understand me?”

  He had meant to somehow reassure me, calm me from my grief, but he had only amplified the pain in my heart.

  Desperate for even a shred of hope, I searched his face. “Is there nothing they can do? People survive from cancer all the time, don’t they? They go through chemo and they—”

  Owen shook his head, silencing me. In the sadness of his eyes, I found my answer.

  I was going to lose him.

  Oh God. I was going to lose him.

  That rock-sized lump was back in my throat, making it impossible to breathe, and Owen’s hold on me tightened, his arms keeping together the pieces of me that were slowly on the verge of falling apart. I cried into his chest, hating that I couldn’t be stronger for him. He needed me to be strong. He lived with this unfair reality every moment of every day, and he didn’t need my tears and my upset reminding him of the life he wouldn’t be able to fully live.

  “I’m sorry,” I cried, guilt clawing me from the inside out, threatening to tear me apart faster than the thought of losing him.

  “Shh…” His fingers stroked through my hair, and his kisses were continuous, determined—placed with purpose over every inch of my tear-soaked skin. “Don’t cry, Elle. Please don’t cry. I can’t bear seeing your tears.”

  We lay there in silence until the rise and fall of my chest evened out, and when it no longer hurt to breathe, something shifted in the air. The need to feel his love and be consumed by it had me tilting my head back so I could look in his eyes. He sensed my need before I’d even spoke, and with a featherlight touch, he dragged his fingertips over my collarbone, down the swells of my breasts where my nipples had quickly pebbled, and across my ribs. I sucked in a sharp breath at the way he lit a raging fire under my skin and how even when I was drowning in pain he knew exactly how to rescue me with pleasure.

  Bringing his face closer, he traced the same path he’d just made with his fingers with his mouth, stopping at my breasts to gently kiss and suck. Heat roared through my veins, and I arched my back off the bed, moaning. Owen answered with a deep groan of his own, the ache between my thighs intensifying by the second. His mouth moved lower and lower and then completely disappeared as he readjusted himself, resuming his position between my legs. He hovered over me—his hands on either side of my head, caging me in—and stared down at me with half-hooded eyes.

  “I want you to look at me, okay? I want you to keep those beautiful eyes on mine the entire time. I don’t want your mind traveling anywhere. I want it to remain right here, right in this moment. Do you think you can do that for me?”

  I gave him a small insecure nod.

  I could do that. For him.

  “Okay. Good.” Slipping a hand beneath my thigh, he shifted me at an angle that allowed his hips to meld perfectly with mine, and holding my gaze, he slowly pushed himself inside.

  I did as he’d asked. I watched through tear-filled eyes as he seated himself deep, our bodies completely flush, our hearts beating as one. I watched as he found a steady rhythm in his thrusts, his chest heaving from his movements and his skin slickened with perspiration. I watched my naked reflection dance in his gorgeous, soulful eyes and the pleasure on his face as it continued to rise. I watched as he made love to me the same way he had the first time: slowly and beautifully.

  Only this time I understood why. Life and the moments in it were too fleeting to be taken for granted. They needed to be cherished. They needed to be savored. You needed to make the most of every single one before they were gone forever.

  When I woke up the next morning with the spot beside me empty and Owen’s warmth not at my back, a surge of panic tightened my chest. The previous two times we had been together, he’d left, and the last time had crushed me. It wasn’t until I slipped out of bed and into one of Owen’s T-shirts, venturing down the hall and into the kitchen, that I felt an ounce of relief.

  Owen stood in his pajama bottoms, his back to me and his phone pressed to his ear as he faced the stove. The smell of bacon and the sizzling sound of it cooking in a pan wafted throughout the entire space. My hungry stomach grumbled, and a smile tipped my lips as my brain finally registered why he’d disappeared.

  Leaning against the doorjamb, I watched in awe as he moved around the kitchen, cooking breakfast and carrying on a conversation, without realizing I was even standing there in his presence.

  “Yeah. Just cancel all of our meetings for the next three weeks. No. I don’t care. I will. Yeah. And you’ve called Eddie, right? It will be ready by five? Okay. Good. Thanks, Mill. I will. Talk to you soon.” Pulling his phone from his ear, he dropped it down on the counter. As he reached up to drag a hand through his brown hair, my gaze followed the movement, my eyes fixed on the way his muscles flexed in his shoulders and across his back.

  He was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at him. It did hurt to look at him. On the surface, he appeared to be so strong, but the sad truth was his body was failing him. His body was failing him, and there wasn’t anything anyone could do to prevent it from happening.

  Needing to be near him, I pushed away from the door and tiptoed over to where he stood, the cool tiles beneath my feet sending a shiver to race up the back of my calves. My hands immediately moved to his waist, and at the feel of me on his naked skin, he quickly turned in my hold, his hands sliding up my arms and my neck, stopping to cup my jaw.

  A smile sparked in his eyes as they met mine. “You’re awake.”

  I nodded, feeling his happiness pour into me, and the tightness constricting my chest slowly dissipated. “I was wondering where you’d wandered off to.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to wake you.”

  My next breath was stolen by warm lips, and my body completely melted into his. He lingered there for a few beats before pulling back a little.

  “You hungry? I figured you might be starving so I decided to make breakfast. I wasn't sure what you like so I have bacon cooking. I was going to make some eggs and pancakes. Unless you’re a French toast kind of girl, then I can make—”

  “No. It’s perfect…you’re…” Perfect, Owen. You're absolutely perfect. “Whatever you make is perfect.” Still in his hold, I glanced over at the clock, not even sure of the time. Nearly eleven o'clock. The morning had clearly slipped away from us. It wasn't much of a surprise given the fact we’d spent most of the night wrapped up
in each other. Owen had shown me what it was like to be loved by him, and the two times after our initial session—which had been less slow and more intense—had ensured a deep night’s sleep. “Wow. We’re really late for work.”

  Not sure why I’d even mentioned work. It was the least of our worries, but I think we both needed a distraction.

  “Yeah, about that.” He bowed his head a little to scratch the back of it at the same time a look of nervousness cast over his expression. “I hope it’s okay, but I told Millie to clear our schedules for the next few weeks. We’re not going into work.”

  “What?” Confusion sent my brows crawling up my forehead. I stared at him incredulously. “What do you mean we’re not going into work?”

  “Well, I was thinking it was about time I took a small vacation and thought maybe you’d like to come with me. Was I being too presumptuous?”

  A vacation? With Owen?

  My brain was in the middle of painting a picture of what that might be like when Owen’s fingers swept along my forehead, brushing away unruly strands of my hair, his eyes following the same journey before connecting with mine. His throat moved on a hard swallow, another sign of vulnerability that I wasn’t used to seeing him display.

  “I want to live, Elle. I want to spend every remaining second of my life living, and I want to do it with you.”

  My stomach flipped.

  How was a girl supposed to say no to that?

  “WHERE ARE WE going?”

  A smile curled the corner of my lips, and taking my eyes off the road for two seconds, I glanced over at Elle who was strapped into the passenger seat beside me. “Do you trust me?”

  “Yeah. Of course, I do.”

  Reaching over, I cupped her jaw and stroked my thumb down her cheek. “Then that’s all that matters.”

  She narrowed her brows in an attempt to scowl, but I flashed her another grin, and any signs of annoyance on her pretty face quickly vanished. Not that she was actually annoyed anyway. I knew Elle well enough to know when something was truly grating on her nerves, and this wasn’t one of those times.

  With our fingers threaded together and resting on her thigh, her thumb drawing idle circles against mine, we drove mostly in silence. The air blew across our faces, whipping Elle’s hair wildly in the wind, and despite the heaviness that continued to weigh on our hearts, the mood felt exceptionally light. She was here. She was with me and that was the only thing that mattered.

  Stealing another glance at her, I allowed my gaze to linger for a few moments. She was smiling that breathtaking smile of hers I loved, and I couldn’t get over how much in awe I was with her. She was strong and resilient. She was beautifully destructive—a chaotic storm who set my entire world on fire—and there was nothing more I wanted than to be devoured by her flames.

  Sensing my eyes on her, she gingerly turned her head in my direction and frowned. “Why are you staring at me? I don’t have, like, pancake syrup on my face or anything, do I?”

  My chest shook with laughter as I watched her flip the visor down, inspecting herself in the mirror. “No, Elle. Your face is fine. In fact, it’s actually quite beautiful, which is why I was staring.”

  A pink blush bloomed on her cheeks, and as her eyes returned to mine, she cast me a sexy smirk. “You know…if you’re trying to score, Mr. Caldwell, all you have to do is ask.”

  Jesus. There was something in the way she’d say Mr. Caldwell that turned me on to the point of distraction.

  As she batted those long lashes at me in a suggestive manner, my blood pumped faster, and I unthreaded my fingers from hers, gently skimming them along the sensitive skin of her inner thigh and beneath the hem of her shorts.

  “Nuh-uh.” She clucked her tongue teasingly but made no attempt to remove my hand. In fact, she shifted in her seat, allowing me better access. “Both hands on the wheel while you’re driving, mister.”

  Funny. She hadn't been so adamant with the two-hand rule while our fingers were entwined.

  “I don’t need two hands, sweetheart. I can assure you, I’m perfectly capable of maneuvering with one.” I tossed her a self-assured grin and a wink, my fingers sliding higher until they reached her warmth. A sharp gasp left her chest as I dragged my thumb over her center—the dampness between her thighs making me painfully hard—and her head lolled back against the seat. I was ready to say screw our plans and pull over, but we were pressed for time, and if I was lucky, we’d both be finding sexual relief soon enough. Slowly retracting my hand from between her legs, I patted her thigh and watched her lips downturn into a pout.

  I gave my head a small shake. “You’re so fucking irresistible, you know that?”

  Crossing her arms over her chest in mock irritation, she turned her head away from me. “You’re such a tease.”

  I shrugged. “Payback. Now you know how I felt watching you strut that glorious ass of yours every day at the office. Talk about torture. Complete fucking torture.”

  Watching as she attempted to hide a smile, I turned right down the road that led to the private airfield. “Besides, we’re here.”

  Elle’s eyes widened as we pulled alongside the small building housing the airfield offices, and as I killed the engine and we both stepped out of the car, she walked timidly over to where I stood. “Owen…” Her lips parted momentarily as if she was in shock. “What are we…”

  Reaching out and taking hold of the tips of her fingers, I pulled her closer, pushing our hands up in the air and pressing our palms flat together before lacing our fingers. “I thought maybe we’d get out of town for a while, what do you think?”

  “Where did you…” She continued to stare in amazement, her gaze bouncing between me and the large jet sitting on the tarmac waiting for us. “I thought you didn’t own a private jet.”

  “I don’t.”

  “Then what is this?”

  “I borrowed it. From a friend. I figured if we have the next three weeks off maybe we could spend it seeing the world.”

  Her mouth fell open, and judging by the expression on her face, there were a million thoughts running through her mind, but she only managed to give voice to one. “But you hate flying…”

  “Yes.” I pressed a kiss to her sweet lips and then quickly trailed a path up to her ear, catching her lobe and slowly dragging it between my teeth. “But seeing as it is a private jet and we’ll be alone, I was thinking maybe you could come up with a way to distract me.” Still holding her, I pulled back to gauge her reaction.

  Heat flashed in her eyes and she smiled knowingly, not missing the underlying meaning behind my words or the thread of desire weaving them all together.

  “This is crazy, Owen. Absolutely crazy.”

  “Perhaps, but love makes you do crazy things, right?” Grabbing her hand, I tugged her along. “Come on.”

  As we made our way onto the plane, I told Elle to go ahead while I stopped briefly to talk with the pilot and the flight attendant, making sure they had received the itinerary and confirmed our destination. I hadn’t told Elle where we were going, and I intended to keep it a surprise for as long as possible.

  After ensuring the flight attendant knew to give us privacy, I headed back into the spacious cabin where Elle was already waiting for me. She stood in the center, her arms hanging loosely by her sides as her eyes roamed over the space, drinking in the luxury surrounding her. Large cream-colored leather armchairs lined either side of the plane, and a separate entertaining area featured a couch, mini bar, and large screen TV. A larger than normal, and rather impressive, bathroom was located at the rear, which included a walk-in shower and modern furnishings and fittings.

  “Wow.” She spun slowly on her heels, her mouth agape. “I’m afraid to ask what something like this costs.”

  “Don't.” I chuckled softly. “You don’t want to know.” Walking over to the mini bar, I pulled out two glasses and a bottle of scotch before grabbing Elle’s hand and guiding her over to the plush recliners.

  T
he flight attendant made a quick appearance, requesting we buckle our seatbelts during takeoff and making sure we weren’t in need of any assistance, and then disappeared from the cabin. Luxury or not, my nerves were already gathering in the pit of my stomach, and as always, Elle sensed my discomfort. After making sure her seatbelt was buckled, she slid her hand over mine, squeezing it the same reassuring way she’d done the first time we’d ever flown together. And I realized, even if I hadn’t realized it at the time, I loved her then.

  I had fallen in love with Elle Callihan the moment she walked into my office, and it had nothing to do with attraction. Not really. Sure, she was gorgeous, but it wasn’t her beauty I’d been drawn to; it was the way her soul spoke to mine, the way my heart whispered that she was it—she was the one. It wasn’t until she’d disappeared out of my office at the conclusion of her interview that I knew I couldn’t let her go.

  I selfishly needed her in my life.

  Once we were in the air and the light on the seatbelt sign flickered off, I freed the buckle and sat forward to pour myself a drink, asking Elle if she wanted one. Her response came silently as she crawled onto my lap, straddling my waist and swiping the glass tumbler from my hand.

  Bringing it to her lips, she downed it in one long sip and immediately leaned her body closer, pressing her mouth to mine and allowing me a taste of the golden liquid. Our tongues swirled, the smoky liquor mixed with the sweetness of her mouth causing a low groan to erupt from my chest.

  Elle answered by kissing me harder, deeper, her fingers pushing through my hair and her hips rocking forward and down against my swelling erection.

  One small taste and I was parched.

  Grabbing the back of her neck, I took ownership of the kiss at the same time my free hand slid beneath the hem of her top, climbing the smooth, creamy skin of her stomach until it came in contact with the thin lace of her bra. I slipped under the wire and cupped her breast in my palm, feeling her entire body shudder from my touch. Her nipples were tight and needy and I circled my thumb over the small bud, loving the way she bowed her back as if silently requesting more.