Running Forever

by Emily Camp

  “Bree ...,” Maggie took long strides to the bed as long as she could take with her skinny, short legs anyway. “It’ll be okay.” She sunk down beside Bree. It was usually the other way around, Bree comforting her like a mother. When Maggie put her arm around her and leaned against her, it felt like they were little again, just like when their mom and her boyfriend would be on a drinking binge and they’d have to hide quietly in their tiny room. They’d cuddle together and Bree would tell Maggie stories.

  “I don’t know. I mean …,” Bree swiped at the tear falling from her eye. “I’m just …”

  Maggie blinked her honey eyes at Bree, so much trust and faith in her. Bree always wanted to set the right example, even if she did have that small mishap with Bailey and she and Maggie didn’t always get along the greatest, she knew that Maggie still looked up to her.

  “I know you don’t want to hear this, but Garrett really does love you. Everyone can see it. He may say some stupid things sometimes and act a little too quickly but …”

  “This is bigger than him filming my butt when he was supposed to be focused on Bailey, proposing to me in front of the entire family at the dinner table, or even not listening to me when I ask him not to give Bailey sugar.”

  “Whatever it is, he means well.”

  Bree sighed as she stared at her dresser, the pregnancy test still tucked inside. “It’s not all on him this time.”

  “Is it about your dad?”

  Bree bit the inside of her cheek. It wasn’t about her dad, but it didn’t mean that didn’t take a toll on her emotionally today

  “Thanks for trying to cheer me up,” Bree put her hand on Maggie’s knobby knee. “Don’t let me and my stupid drama bring you down any.”

  When there was a knock on the door, she immediately knew who it was.

  Maggie met her gaze. “Though I do think you should talk to him, I’ll run him off if you want me to.”

  Bree’s chest felt heavy and, for some reason, even though Garrett’s words hurt her earlier, and she ran away from him, she wanted to talk to him. She felt like if she did, that the heaviness might lift, even though her circumstances weren’t changing. “You can let him in.”

  Maggie quirked one of her strawberry-blond eyebrows before she stood and scooted toward the door, twisting the knob and pulling it open, revealing Garrett, all slump-shouldered and frowning. He blinked his blue eyes at her, looking more like a sad puppy than a college football player.

  “She’s all yours.” Maggie’s bracelets chimed when she motioned toward Bree.

  “Thanks,” he said without taking his eyes off Bree.

  Maggie slipped out of the room.

  Bree’s gut turned and now she wasn’t sure if it was morning sickness or because of everything else going on. She swiped the last tear from her eye as Garrett made his way in the room, hesitating with the door as if he wanted to shut it, but knew he shouldn’t.

  He pushed it a little bit, not technically closing it all the way, but enough nobody could see in if they walked by. Bree finally ripped her eyes away from him and began picking at her blue bedspread. What if the baby was a boy? She pictured them living on that hill by his grandparents, Bailey, Garrett, and a little boy ran around the yard with a football. Bree shouldn’t be thinking things like that. It wasn’t reality. The mattress dipped when Garrett sat beside her, right where Maggie had been. Bree tipped toward him with the sudden shift. His arm fell around her, much heavier than Maggie’s had been.

  “I’m sorry. You know I always put my foot in my mouth.”

  She sniffed, though she could feel him and smell him, that woodsy smell from his body wash that gave her butterflies. “Why would you even say it if you didn’t believe it?”

  “I don’t believe it,” he tightened his arm around her. “It was just …” His knee bounced, shaking the entire bed. “We messed up. Don’t get me wrong, there is no one else I want to mess up with, but I don’t know what to do.”

  “You think I do? Your parents are the only ones who didn’t expect this from me.” She held her chest. “And I’ve proven them wrong.”

  “Bree, it happens. We’re adults. We love each other. They can’t do anything to us.”

  “I’m not worried about what your parents will do. I hate that I let them down.”

  “How? By giving them another grandchild? They love the three they have now, so what’s another one?”

  Bree shook her head. “I made a promise, to God and everyone else in my life, that I wouldn’t have sex again until I was married.”

  “And you went a long time without breaking it. A very long time,” the tone of his voice lowered as he spoke.

  “Gare.”

  “We should have stopped and I don’t want the fact that we had sex to come out again, but if I was going to be truthful, I would have done it long ago if you would have been willing.”

  She sighed. That wasn’t news to her. He’d made comments on more than one occasion. “Besides the fact that everyone is going to find out we didn’t wait,” she looked around her room. The crib crammed in one corner, her dresser in the other, “Where are we going to put another baby?”

  “It’ll work out. It always does.”

  Tears stung her eyes again. He never thought about things and how much this would change their lives. Bailey was starting to potty train. Bree was looking forward to not having to worry about carrying diapers everywhere she went. She didn’t want to go back to her sleep being interrupted and, instead of having to switch one car seat from vehicle to vehicle, they’d have to mess with two everywhere they went.

  Bree put her head in her hands and took a deep breath in, though it didn’t help calm her any.

  “Okay, Bree, we’ll figure this out. I promise. Tomorrow, between classes, we’ll visit the clinic on campus.”

  “What?”

  “You need to see a doctor, right?”

  “How do you know I haven’t already?” she pushed her hair out of her face when she looked up at him.

  “Have you?”

  “No.”

  They made eye contact when there was a light knock on the door. “Garrett, are you in there?” His dad’s voice made Bree’s stomach drop.

  “Yeah,” Garrett said, though he made no effort to move away from her, and held on tight when she tried to get away from him.

  “The door should be like this,” he pushed the door wide open, giving Garrett a stern look.

  What would he think when he found out it was too late to prevent that anyway?

  “We’re just talking,” Garrett motioned toward Bree with the hand he wasn’t holding her with.

  “You can talk with the door open,” Randy said, before smiling at Bree. “How did the test go today?”

  Bree felt her face flush. At first, her mind went to the pregnancy test. With everything else going on, she’d forgotten Randy helped her study last night.

  “I think I did okay.”

  “Great.” He did a double tap on the door, then looked at Garrett again. “Door stays like this.” Bree wanted to crawl under her covers and hide. What would happen when he did finally find out?

  Garrett’s breath was on her ear as soon as Randy out of sight. “We’re going to the clinic tomorrow. And I’m not forgetting you said you want to marry me.”

  “I did?” When she turned to look at him, his lips turned up in a grin.

  “On our walk, I said we should get married and you said, ‘as much as I want to’…” Her stomach fluttered when he gave her a sideways smile.

  She pressed back a grin. “I want to someday. I didn’t say I want to today.”

  “I don’t expect you to today, but you know, I won’t complain if you want to elope.”

  Bree shook her head. “Can we just focus on our problem first?” She held a hand to her stomach.

  He leaned closer, his mouth against her ear and said, “It’s a baby. Not a problem.”

  She leaned away, bracing herself with her hand planted on the ma
ttress behind her. “That’s not how you acted a minute ago.”

  “I was in shock. Am I scared of my dad? At twenty-years-old, I probably shouldn’t be, but yeah, I am. But I then I remembered how scared I was when we you told me you were pregnant with Bailey. That worked out all right.”

  “No, it didn’t.” Why did he think everything worked out? She scooted away from him. “We’re both struggling to get through school because we’re also trying to be good parents.”

  “We’re not just trying. We are good parents.”

  “Gare.”

  He gripped her shoulders and pointed her toward him. “Listen, we can make this work. I know we can. We’ll go to the clinic tomorrow and we … we can look into the family housing at school. It’ll save us a lot of time. Think about it. It makes sense to get married, sooner than later.”

  She closed her eyes and tilted her chin up. He wasn’t going to stop with the marriage thing and now that they have another reason to, he was going to be pressing it a lot more, she was sure. “I’ll say okay to the clinic tomorrow,” because she knew she needed to go. It was still possible the pee test was wrong. At least she hoped. She opened her eyes. “But give me some time on the marriage thing.”

  His eyes widened and a grin spread across his face, “Sure, I can do that.”

  ****

  The room was cold and hospital green. The chairs were a squeaky, cracked vinyl and metal, a shade greener than the walls. It was a lot different than the doctor’s office Robin took Bree to when she was pregnant with Bailey. Instead of magazines with pictures of smiling babies and moms on the table, there were pamphlets on STDs and date rape. Instead of the bowl of individually wrapped mints, there was a bowl of condoms.

  Garrett’s knee bounced beside Bree and she felt a sickening feeling in her stomach. She didn’t like it here at all. Her bandage from the blood test was still secured around her elbow. Even though Garrett told her she should be okay to take it off several minutes ago, she couldn’t. Bree didn’t like blood and needles and the thought of seeing where the needle was stuck in her vein made her feel like she was going to pass out.

  A skinny blond scurried out the door. Her head was down and her hair covered her face. She was carrying a hand full of papers. Bree wondered if they were the same ones sitting on the table next to her. When she went to the doctors with Bailey, everyone was smiling walking out of the exam room. This was supposed to be a happy time for people. But for a college student, an unplanned pregnancy wasn’t always a happy pregnancy.

  “Bree,” the lady called from the entryway. Her heart sank as she stood up. Garrett did the same beside her and followed her into the small exam area, which was even colder and more unwelcoming than the waiting area, with sterile, white walls. A cluster of cotton balls, pregnancy tests, and another plastic bowl of condoms sat on a tiny stainless steel sink.

  The paper crinkled under her. The doctor, a petite older lady in a white coat, slid into the seat in front of her. Garrett stood beside her. Bree found it odd there wasn’t a chair for an extra person in here, but there also didn’t seem to be any room for that, either.

  “Your blood work was positive for pregnancy,” the doctor looked up from the tablet in her hand.

  Though Bree already knew this, the weight on her chest only grew heavier. Garrett massaged her shoulder as if that would be comforting or something.

  “I see you were pregnant three years ago. You are aware of your options, correct?” The doctor looked right at Bree.

  “We’re keeping it,” Garrett said quickly, his hand tightening on her.

  The doctor gazed up at Garrett, as if she’d just realized he was in the room, and pushed her wire-rimmed glasses up her boney nose, before she looked back at Bree.

  “Just because you kept the last one, doesn’t mean you have to keep this one,” she glared up at Garrett again. “It’s your body. This is your decision.”

  Garrett let out a huff, making him sound like a horse. “We, Bree and I, made this baby together, we’ll make the decision together.”

  Bree bit her bottom lip as she stared ahead. She hated confrontation and wished Garrett would stop.

  The doctor only looked at Garrett for a second before looking a Bree again. “I think it would be best to educate yourself on the subject. You know how hard it is to be a teen mother of one. Do you really think adding a second to your life would be what is best for you?”

  “We’ll make it work.” Garrett’s low voice echoed in the small room.

  “I believe she can speak for herself, just like she can think for herself.” The doctor gave Garrett a smug smile then turned back toward Bree. “You need to know the statistics of those who have one child young and end up in poverty, let alone two.”

  Bree wrinkled her brow. “We’re in college,” she said at the same time Garrett said, “We’re not going to end up in poverty.”

  “Statistics are you aren’t going to stick around,” she said to Garrett, which only stirred something in Bree.

  “We have a daughter who is the center of my world. Don’t tell me I’m not sticking around.”

  “Garrett is an excellent father,” Bree said, a little louder than she’d expected it to come out. “I know there are idiots out there that take off and go on with their lives like their child doesn’t exist,” she couldn’t believe the assumptions of this lady, “that’s not Garrett and generalizing him in that category makes you small-minded.” Bree hopped off the table and grabbed Garett’s hand. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Grab the domestic abuse pamphlet on your way out,” she called out after her.

  Now Bree really was fired up. She pulled Garrett out of the clinic. While she was embarrassed to be seen going in earlier, she didn’t care now. She just wanted to get as far away from that place as possible. When she finally skidded to a stop and turned toward Garrett in the parking lot, her breathing was heavy.

  “I love you,” he chuckled, taking her face in her hands.

  She clenched and unclenched her fists at her sides. “That doctor was…she was…she didn’t…where did she get her degree?” She glared over his shoulder.

  “You love me, too, don’t you?”

  Bree met his eyes as her breathing began to slow. “Yes.”

  “Say it.”

  “What?” Her breath hitched and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

  “Tell me you love me.”

  “Gare.”

  His palms were on her cheeks now, his thumb sliding just below her lip. “I want to hear you say it.”

  “This is weird.” She tried to turn away, but he held her face.

  “How’s it weird?”

  “We’re in the clinic parking lot for one.”

  “Why can’t you say those three words?”

  “Fine, I love you, are you hap …” but she couldn’t get the rest of her sentence out because his mouth crashed into hers.

  Chapter 16

  It surprised Garrett when Bree wrapped her arms around his neck instead of immediately pushing him away. She never liked public displays of affection, but right now, he didn’t care. Something rose in him when he watched her defend him. He’d spent the last few weeks going through the motions, thinking there wasn’t any hope for them. And now, even though he dreaded the thought of telling everyone about the baby, he was kind of happy about it.

  “Gare,” she smiled against him, and gently leaned back.

  He wasn’t letting go this time. His hands gripped her sides.

  “We’re in the middle of a parking lot,” she whispered as if he didn’t know.

  Before going in, they were both nervous about who would see them walking into the clinic together. Now, here they were, right out front of the building. “Does it matter?”

  “Yes, it matters.” Bree tilted her head to the side, the small dimple on her cheek appeared. “You know I don’t like …”

  He laughed and pressed his forehead against hers. “Who cares what they think?” />
  “I do.” She fluttered her eyelashes, her hand flat on his chest as if she thought about pushing him away.

  He smiled at this, despite the rude doctor from inside, “You know I’d never abandon you and Bailey and the new baby.”

  Bree bit her bottom lip and glanced down at her hand resting on him, “How can you be happy about this?”

  “I mean, I’m nervous. I know it’ll be rough, but we can do it. Together.”

  “When do either of us have time for another baby?”

  “We’ll make it work. The baby can go to daycare with Bailey. Football will be over when it’s born.”

  “How are we going to tell everyone?”

  “We don’t have to.”

  She narrowed her chocolate eyes up at him. The wind picked up, her hair blew in the breeze. “It’s kind of going to be hard to hide.”

  “What about my idea? We get married then we tell.” He hoped he’d get some kind of positive response from that.

  “I don’t …”

  He groaned and bent at the knees, making himself eye level with her. “You want to marry me, you said so.”

  “Gare.” This time, she did push away and stepped back. He hated the emptiness he felt when she left his arms, but he knew that he needed to let it go for now.

  ****

  Garrett looked up at the stands. Knowing Bree was up there made him feel both nervous and happy. The thought of the new baby weighed on him the more he thought about it, but he acted otherwise in front of Bree.

  She sat up there, her back straight, hands folded on her lap. Like the rest of the fans, she wore her red hooded sweatshirt with Indian Acres across the front. Music blasted from the announcer’s box.

  Hudson called out the warm ups and Garrett’s attention shifted back to the game, where his head needed to be today, not on the baby and Bree. He glanced back up after starting his jumping jacks. Spencer slid in beside her. Of course, he’d be here. Parker, the brother Bree and Spencer shared, was sitting by Carly, who was sitting on the other side of Bree. Garrett’s heart drummed in his chest when Spencer spoke to Bree and she turned and smiled at him. Garrett knew he shouldn’t be jealous. He didn’t want to be, but he was. He fisted his hands at his sides.