Running Forever

by Emily Camp

  Maybe searching football head injuries online wasn’t the best thing for her to do last night, but ever since then, she couldn’t help but think about it. Her only comfort now was he wasn’t allowed to go back for at least a couple more weeks.

  “You can still show me the football.” Garrett tapped him on the shoulder.

  Bryson’s smile grew and he grabbed Garrett by the arm, pulling him into the house. “C’mon, I’ll show you my new room, too. I’m going to put Indian Acres stuff up as soon as Mom gets some money.”

  Bree was relieved Garrett took the attention off her for a minute, but then he was gone, dragged down the hall to Bryson’s room, leaving her with the one person she didn’t want to be with.

  “Well, come on in.” Mindy waved her boney hand in the air.

  Dread hit the pit of her stomach like burning lava as she stepped inside. Things had never been ideal with her mother, but now, since she testified against her to help Parker get custody a couple years ago, she felt like the enemy.

  “Is it clean enough for you?” Mindy sounded like a fourteen-year-old talking to her parents about her bedroom.

  Bree hadn’t even noticed how clean it was. Of course, they did just move in. Mindy had a lot of proving to do if she thought one tidy home would make up for the last nineteen years of being a bad mother.

  “I’m getting my shit together,” Mindy said motioning to the living room, with just a small brown sofa and a television sitting on the floor. The air smelled faintly of stale cigarettes, but not as bad as her place usually did.

  “Good,” Bree said holding her chin up high. “Where’s Maggie?”

  “What are you, CPS?” Mindy had a raspy smoker’s voice. “She’s sixteen, she’s with friends. I got rid of the loser men and I’m on a journey of new discovery, kind of like you.”

  “Like me?” Bree lifted an eyebrow. How could she even begin to compare herself to her?

  Her mother’s dark eyes widened, “Your Jesus stuff.”

  “My Jesus stuff?” Bree spoke slowly, as if that would explain.

  “You know what I mean … turning over a new leaf.” She grabbed the pack of cigarettes off the counter.

  Bree glared.

  “I quit drinking and men. I gotta keep something,” Mindy defended herself, as she snatched a cigarette from the pack. Placing it between her mouth, she glanced down, “Looks like you need a congratulations.”

  Bree’s heart sped up and she placed her hand to her stomach. She wasn’t showing yet. How did she know?

  “When’s the big day?” Mindy’s voice was muffled, as she lifted the lighter to her cigarette.

  “Huh?”

  Mindy clenched the cigarette between her fingers and pulled it from her mouth. Smoke poured out like a chimney. “Who would have known my Breanna would be married before me?”

  Bree twisted the ring. “We haven’t set a date.”

  “Don’t suppose I’ll get an invite.”

  “Uh,” Bree glanced down the hallway toward where Bryson and Garrett disappeared. She hadn’t planned on inviting her, but other than the smoking, her mom was oddly different … in a good way, “Yeah, you’ll be invited.”

  Mindy laughed at that with a nod, “That’s what Parker’s dad and I were going to do before he …”

  Bree didn’t know what to say when Mindy went silent, staring up at the ceiling as if that held all her past. Parker’s dad died of a drug overdose when Mindy was still pregnant with Parker. They were barely Bree and Garrett’s age at the time. As much as Bree despised her mother, she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose Garrett. That’s why she couldn’t even think about Garrett getting another head injury playing football. What if history repeated itself and she ended up alone, without Garrett before this baby was even born?

  Mindy took another drag of her cigarette. “It’s not much,” Mindy sighed looking at her place, “but I’ve lived in worse.”

  Bree couldn’t argue with that.

  “I have an honest job, cashier. Don’t pay great, but it pays something,” Mindy shrugged as smoke seeped out her mouth.

  “That’s good,” Bree said, staring at the blank television. Bree wasn’t much of a tv watcher. Not like she could be if she wanted to, but anything was better than this awkward conversation.

  “You should bring the babe sometime.”

  Bree wasn’t sure what to say about that. She held her hand to her stomach. Most of her life she’d been told how much she needed to not be like her mom. And she’d tried so hard, but getting pregnant at sixteen and then again at nineteen made it feel like she was headed in this direction.

  “I don’t have cable yet, but we have DVD’s I got from a yard sale down the road.” Mindy pointed behind her with her thumb, before stubbing her cigarette out in the porcelain ashtray.

  Bree shrugged, “I don’t watch much television. But we all know Bryson can be a little couch potato.”

  Mindy snorted a laugh, “He doesn’t sit still long enough.”

  Bree resisted the urge to ask about Bryson’s medication. It wasn’t her place to. If Mindy wanted to have her kids and take care of them, then she needed to be the one to do it.

  “Yeah.” Bree glanced down the hall.

  “You want a tour?” Mindy asked.

  “It’s oh …”

  “C’mon, I’ll show you around.” Mindy shuffled toward the hallway, opening the first door on the left. A bed and a dresser was buried under an explosion of clothes. “Maggie’s still organizing.”

  She shut the door and headed to the next door, which was already open. The bed was made with a faded quilt, “This is my room.” Then she hitched a thumb over her shoulder, “The bathroom’s behind me.” She pointed to the end of the hall. The door was open to Bryson’s room and Garrett leaned against the tall dresser, as Bryson bounced on his mattress, his green comforter covered in footballs bunched up in the middle.

  Bree met Garrett’s eyes. When he smiled, her stomach did a flip.

  “Bryson, what did I tell you about jumping on your bed?” Mindy said, surprising Bree. Before, when Mindy was drunk, she ignored little things like that.

  “But I wanna show Garrett my flip,” Bryson said as he went up and down. “Like that time,” Bryson said between breaths, “he hopped over the defensive tackle.”

  “You’re not on the football field, Bryson,” Bree made her way to the middle of his room, which didn’t seem to be any more organized than Maggie’s, filled with Lego’s and every kind of sports ball you could think of.

  “I’m practicing,” Bryson said with another hop.

  Garrett laughed, “Maybe you should save it for the trampoline.”

  Bryson held his legs straight out and bounced off the mattress. When he landed on the carpet, the entire floor shook. “Do you want to see how big the yard is? We have room for a trampoline.” He turned toward their mom, “Can we get one? Huh?”

  “Sure,” Mindy said, making Bree cringe. Would that be yet another promise Mindy wouldn’t keep? Bree had enough of those in her lifetime.

  Bryson grabbed Garrett’s hand and pulled him out of the bedroom. Garrett lifted his eyebrows at Bree on his way out, which made her smile.

  “You got lucky with that one,” Mindy sighed. As she lowered herself on the bed, she stared at the wall Bryson had posters hanging on. One was of Garrett’s team, from when Parker brought him to a game. Parker had bought the poster and Garrett and some of his teammates signed it.

  “Yeah,” Bree could finally admit that to herself.

  “You know, I wasn’t always like this.”

  Bree took her eyes off the poster and turned to Mindy, who smoothed out the sheet beside her.

  “I had plans,” she shrugged then scratched her bare shoulder.

  Bree’s throat swelled. She had plans, too. If Garrett were to get hit badly again, she could end up like her mother.

  “This definitely wasn’t what I planned on, but I’m going to make it right.”

 
Bree’s heart clenched and she pressed her lips between her teeth. She wanted to believe her…more than anything.

  Her mom stood back up, straightening her shoulders and lifting her chin high said, “I don’t suppose you care.”

  “I do,” Bree spoke almost a whisper. “You’re my mom.”

  Mindy tilted her head. Wrinkles appeared in the corners of her eyes when a smile stretched across her face. “Maybe you and Garrett could stay for dinner.”

  “You’re planning on cooking?” Bree looked behind her as if there was something she missed. Her mom never cooked.

  “Hotdogs and mac and cheese, let’s not get carried away,” Mindy’s laugh threw her into a coughing fit.

  “Maybe you should lay off the cigarettes,” Bree said under her breath, not loud enough for Mindy to hear over her own cough.

  “What was that?” Mindy turned from walking out of Bryson’s room.

  “We should probably get home. Robin has Bailey.”

  Mindy’s nose crunched for a split second before a forced smile appeared. “Right.”

  Bree shoved her hands in her pockets and followed Mindy to the living room.

  “You can let Parker know we’re doing good.” Mindy shuffled back to the kitchen counter where her cigarettes were and tapped one out of the pack. “Maybe he can get over it sometime so I can have all my kids together for something.”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know.” Mindy put her cigarette between her lips. “Maybe a cookout? You can bring Garrett and the little one.”

  “Bailey?” Bree pulled her phone out of her pocket. She needed to keep herself busy before she said something that would start a fight. A grandmother shouldn’t be referring to her grandchild as ‘the little one,’ she should know her. Why would Bree expect that, though? It wasn’t like her mom knew her own kids.

  ****

  Bree sat on the porch swing, her textbook open in her lap, but she didn’t know why she bothered, it wasn’t like she comprehended any of it today. The day was a perfect fall day, not too cool, not too hot. As she studied, she listened to Garrett run the yard with Bailey; him growling with a laugh, while Bailey squealed and giggled from one end to the other.

  “Tu dowm,” Bailey shouted. Bree looked up to see Garrett lifting Bailey in the air. Her dark hair was sweaty and matted to her face. Her smile and dark eyes beamed down at Garrett.

  Bree tapped her pen on her paper. She glanced down at her book. Since studying wasn’t doing any good right now, she closed it and tossed it on the porch.

  “Gwabe, Daddy,” Bailey said from Garrett’s hip.

  Bree reached down and swiped the cool red Gatorade off the porch before making her way toward them.

  “Thanks.” Garrett sat Bailey on the ground and offered Bree a quick kiss as he took the Gatorade from her. He was sweaty, but not out of breath as he knelt beside Bailey. He screwed the cap off and Bailey patiently waited for him, opening and closing her mouth like a baby bird waiting on its mama to feed it.

  “We need to talk,” Bree said.

  “What now?” He smirked at her, while holding the drink to Bailey’s mouth. Bailey grasped the bottle between her bitty hands, but Garrett didn’t let go.

  “About football.” Bree crossed her arms and chewed on her lip.

  Garrett pulled the drink from Bailey, who whined and reached for it.

  “Daddy needs a drink,” he said then turned back to Bree. “I know you worry about everything, but I’ll be fine,” he said, before taking a drink.

  Bailey stomped her feet to get his attention, “More dwink.”

  “But I was reading the other day and ...” Bree scratched her elbow.

  “Bailey gwabe.” She tugged on the bottle.

  “Eh, Daddy will hold it.” He lifted it out of her reach until she let her arms fall to her sides.

  “You know how serious football head injuries can be?”

  “That’s what helmets are for.” He took another swig of his drink. Bailey watched, wide-eyed, as if he hadn’t given her any yet.

  “Even with the helmet, you can be seriously hurt.”

  Bailey made little chugging noises as she guzzled the Gatorade.

  Garrett lifted the bottle from Bailey and stood. “I won’t.”

  “That’s it? You … you won’t quit for me and the babies?” She motioned toward Bailey.

  Satisfied, Bailey stopped and reached up for Bree. She lifted her to her hip.

  “You guys are the reason I continue to play.”

  “Daddy.” Bailey held her arms out.

  Garrett pulled Bailey to his hip. “For our future.”

  “What kind of future is it if you’re not in it?” Bree couldn’t stop thinking about her mom and Parker’s dad.

  “I am in it. You said yes, remember?” Garrett nodded toward Bree’s ring.

  “Yes.” Bailey clapped her hands together.

  “You’re happy mommy and daddy are getting married, aren’t you?” Garrett kissed Bailey’s cheek, which sent her into a fit of giggles because of the scratchy stubble on his face.

  “But there are these articles online …,” Bree watched as a car buzzed by. “Then my mom … and she had plans, too.”

  “What does this have to do with your mom?” Garrett sat Bailey in the grass when she began to wiggle.

  “She was going … her and Parker’s dad were going to get married when she was pregnant, but then he …”

  “I know what he did. But … I don’t do drugs.” Garrett’s forehead wrinkled like Bree was crazy.

  “I know, but Garrett, you should read some …”

  “What are you talking about?” This time he snapped and it surprised Bree.

  Below her, Bailey reached for Bree. “Mommy.”

  “Never mind.” Bree scooped her up, but wouldn’t look at Garrett again.

  “Bree,” he groaned as she headed for the house with Bailey jabbering from her hip. His exasperated tone only irritated her more. The door clapped shut behind her as she entered the house.

  “Grampa.” Bailey wiggled out of Bree’s arms and toddled toward Randy, who sat at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee and his tablet. “Game.”

  “Grandpa’s not playing a game, Sweetheart.” Randy looked up and sipped his coffee.

  “Bailey game.” She was now at his side. He laughed and picked her up and put her on his knee. “All right let’s see what games we have on here.”

  “I put that alphabet one on there the other day.” Robin walked in with a laundry basket.

  “Bet.” Bailey pointed at the screen.

  Garrett was behind Bree, reaching his arms around her before she could protest. Sure, she was angry at him right now, but she didn’t need his parents to see that. They had just gotten engaged.

  “Garrett, I’m sure she doesn’t want you that close right now,” Robin said, making Bree’s face heat. Did she already know they were fighting? “I can smell you from over here.” Robin pinched her nose.

  Garrett laughed, making Bailey giggle, as well, though she had no clue what she was laughing about.

  “I’m sure you don’t smell very good either, little one,” Robin poked Bailey’s cheek, which only made her giggle more. Then she turned toward Bree. “I have the woman’s meeting tonight. Do you want to come?”

  “I’ve got homework.” Bree motioned toward her room, though her books were still sitting on the front porch.

  “Maybe next time,” Robin said, as the alphabet song started to play from Randy’s tablet. Bailey sat still on his lap.

  Chapter 27

  “I smell better now.” Garrett rubbed the towel over his head and strode into Bree’s room. Bailey had just fallen asleep before he jumped in the shower. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he approached Bree now, with the way they left off earlier.

  He hated that she was worried about football and he didn’t want to do anything to hurt her, but she needed to understand that he was doing this for her. If he lost his scholarship
, he’d have a hard time paying for school and then what kind of future would he be able to give her?

  As he suspected, she didn’t look up from her books when he flopped down beside her. The mattress bounced. Garrett didn’t think she would ignore that, but she did. Beside her, he tossed his feet up and leaned back on her pillows. He hadn’t bothered putting a shirt on, hoping she’d at least comment on that, but she didn’t. She continued to type away at her computer. Her cute glasses were perched on her face and though she stared like she was deep in concentration, he knew she was making a conscience effort to give him the silent treatment. He reached his arm around her, put his hand on her hip, and tucked his other hand under his head. “What ya working on?”

  “Psychology,” she clipped.

  Garrett sat up and leaned forward. Keeping his arm around her, he sat his chin on her shoulder, “I’m sorry for snapping earlier.”

  Bree didn’t respond to him. She just continued to type. Garrett wrapped his arms completely around her waist and squeezed. It felt like she was exactly what belonged there. He couldn’t wait until they were finally married and he could fall asleep like this. Even if she was ignoring him.

  “Do you forgive me?” he mumbled against the soft skin below her ear. He always loved the way her hair smelled like vanilla.

  “Gare,” her voice was tight, but at least he got a reaction, “I’m trying to study.”

  “I don’t like it when you’re mad at me.”

  Bree shut the laptop and pushed it off her lap. “I don’t like it when you’re mad at me, either, but I’m just worried about you. We’re finally back together and happy …” She tucked her hair behind her ear and slipped her glasses off.

  Garrett kissed her cheek. “You’re happy?” He loved hearing that.

  “Yes,” she sighed and shrugged away. “But I won’t be if something happens to you.”

  “Nothing’s going to happen to me,” he said and he was sure it wouldn’t. Garrett promised himself he’d never let anything distract him while he was out on the field again.