Fast Connection (Cyberlove #2)

by Megan Erickson

  Dominic took a moment to inhale and exhale, finally winded, before squinting over at me. “So you’re saying I need to find a new normal?”

  “Yeah, that’s pretty much what I’m saying.”

  “And how do I do that?”

  I laughed softly. “If I had the perfect answer to that, I’d sell it for millions of dollars. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it takes time, I think.”

  “I know you’re right. I can’t stop worrying that if I don’t get my life together soon, I’m going to be just another unemployed ex-soldier. I don’t want to start regretting the last ten years, you know? I did so much in the army—and maybe fucked up my chances to ever go see fireworks on the fourth of July—but I came back and feel like a loser.”

  I stopped running.

  Dominic kept going until he realized I wasn’t next to him. He turned around with his hands on his hips, breathing hard. “What?”

  “Come ’ere.”

  He grumbled something as he walked toward me. When he was within touching distance, I clapped my hand over the back of his neck. “Listen to me. You’re not a loser. Don’t say that shit around me. Okay?”

  Dominic nodded, face flushed from the cold and our conversation.

  “When I was booted out,” I said. “I had to make myself move forward for my kids. I didn’t give a shit about doing it for myself at the time. Now that’s changed. So if you can’t get up to do it for yourself, you do it for your sister. And you can maybe even do it for me. Got it?”

  He blinked at me, breath leaving his lips in harsh pants. Finally, the corner of his mouth lifted. “Yeah. I do get it.” He leaned into my touch. “You’re good at these pep talks.”

  I dropped my hand. “Yeah, well, I have to give them to myself a lot.”

  “That’s insane to me because you seem together. And confident.”

  I shrugged. “Sometimes I do feel together and confident. Other times, I don’t. Those are the times I have to give myself pep talks.” I shoved him gently. “Let’s keep running.”

  We ran in silence for another half mile before Dominic said, “It’s not a maybe.”

  “What?”

  “There’s no maybe even for you. It is for you. I don’t want to be some troubled guy you fuck around with.”

  “Dom, you’re not—”

  “Hey!” He held up a hand. “This is my pep talk to myself. Don’t ruin it.”

  I laughed, and Dominic’s troubled expression faded as we ran alongside each other.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Dominic

  After my run with Luke, I showered and went to the bagel shop. I was late as hell, and wasn’t too surprised when my presence prompted a sneer from Duffy.

  “Just get in, huh?”

  Tying my apron around my waist, I walked around the back of the deli counter. It was a mess, which meant he’d been trying to do everything himself. Guilt niggled at me, and I watched him stock a shelf full of premade pastries and muffins. No one bought the damn things, which meant he’d likely just thrown a couple hundred bucks worth of expired product in the trash and replaced it with more. Sometimes I didn’t understand how he ran this place.

  “I’m sorry, Pops. Won’t happen again.”

  “Right.” He stood from his crouch. “You talk big about your next move, but how’re you going to have a next move at a different job if you can’t even handle coming here?”

  I wiped down the counter with sharp movements. “I’ll get it together.”

  “Heh. I’ll believe it when I see it. You’ve always been more worried about pussy than grades or responsibilities.”

  The bell above the door jingled and John, my goddamn irritating frenemy, entered in the middle of Duffy’s mini rant. A broad smile spread across his face.

  “I feel like I’ve been hearing you say that to Nicky since high school, Big D.”

  I had no reaction to John’s jibe, but my father looked ready to punch him in the mouth. If I could say one thing positive about my father being a shithead to his family, it was that he thought he was the only one allowed to do it.

  “Still driving your daddy’s car, Johnny?”

  John’s smile fled his face, and his mouth tightened into a slant. “He gave it to me for my birthday.”

  “Must be nice.” Duffy looked John up and down. “Give Officer Connolly my regards.”

  “I will next time I see him. I don’t live at the house no more.” The words prompted John’s eyes to settle on me as he sauntered up to the deli counter. “After twenty-one, that would have been kind of pathetic.”

  Annnd he finally found a way under my skin. I wanted to shove his fucking head into the meat slicer.

  “Can I help you with something, buddy?” I asked instead of murdering him.

  “Yeah. Gimme turkey and swiss, tomatoes, lettuce, and mustard on a pumpernickel bagel. Meat sliced real thin.”

  “You got it.”

  He stared at me as I made his fucking sandwich, and I pictured myself doing unmentionable things to him the entire time. And not the fun kind.

  “I heard you’ve taken up running again,” he said suddenly.

  I made a face. “Fascinating gossip you got there.”

  “You might be surprised.”

  The smirk on his face put me on edge, and I wondered if he’d seen me with Luke. I concentrated on what I was doing without reacting, and he changed the subject entirely.

  “Speaking of my dad,” John said. “He heard something about you lately, Big D.”

  “Oh yeah?” Duffy sounded as concerned about this as he was about John continuing to exist on the planet. “What’s that?”

  “Just talk. About you looking for a loan shark.”

  My eyes rose to take in John’s smarmy grin. There was no sign of deceit in his face. And when I glanced at my father, I noticed he’d gone white as a sheet.

  “What the he—fuck!”

  The blade to the slicer bit into my finger, and I stumbled back. Blood rose in a slight arc until I pressed my injured hand against my chest.

  “Nicky!” Duffy hurried around the counter. “Shit, you didn’t cut it off did you?”

  “No,” I gritted around the pain. “It’s fine. What the fuck is this about a loan shark?”

  “Can we not talk about that now?”

  “We’re gonna talk about it no—”

  “You know what? I changed my mind about the sandwich.” John threw me a sarcastic salute. “See you boys later.”

  “Get the fuck out of here,” Duffy snarled. “Little cocksucker.”

  John just laughed and sauntered out. The jingling bell signaled his departure.

  “Tell me he’s kidding.”

  “Dominic,” my father said sharply. “Can we take care of one thing before getting into another?”

  And just like that, the rope tethering my patience cut.

  “You think this is something to worry about?” I ripped my hand away from my apron and shoved it in his face. It was cut deep and gushing blood, but I didn’t even cringe at the sight. He looked a little green. “Just because in your mind the war is over and we sat around a base playing games all day, doesn’t mean it is. There’s still a war over there, Pops. There’s still militants who fucking want us out of their country, who ambush us during patrols, and who plant IEDs to blow us up.” I waved my hand around again. “This ain’t shit compared to what I’ve seen and fucking done.”

  I knew he wanted to say that we never should have been there in the first place, not that I didn’t agree, but that had shit to do with what I was saying. And for the first time he seemed to get that. Regardless of the politics, I’d signed up for the guaranteed salary and the benefits, and the promises of a future. Too bad that part hadn’t checked out.

  “Let me drive you to the hospital.”

  “No.”

  “Nicky, you need stitches.”

  “I’m fine.”

  He blew out a slow exhale. “If I tell you about the mone
y thing, will you at least go with me to Urgent Care?” When I stared at him flatly, still dripping blood on the floor, he nodded. “We’re gonna lose the business.”

  “How?”

  “Debt, Nicky. How the fuck you think?” Duffy slammed his shaking hand down on the counter. “I’m losing almost two grand a month, I’m behind six months’ rent, and we’re gonna lose the house if I lose the business. I have no savings. I got nothing.”

  “Six months of rent,” I said without emotion. “How much is that? You don’t tell me anything except to ignore the stack of bills piled up in the back.”

  His jaw clenched. “Nearly twenty grand.”

  “Fuck, Dad.” This time it was me who almost slammed my hand down. The blood and a flare of pain stopped me. “You didn’t take money from some loan shark, did you?”

  “No. I couldn’t promise myself I’d be able to pay it back, and then…” He gestured vaguely. “Look, I know how these things work. I won’t put my family in danger.”

  “Jesus Christ. What a cliché. You’ve been on this fucking island for too long, Pops.”

  “Fuck you, Dominic. You don’t understand.” He furiously turned away from me. “You think this is fun for me? That I like taking this out on you and your sister and not being able to buy her things? That I’m just irresponsible? No, kiddo. Rent goes up, utilities go up, everything in this place has gone up—”

  “—and you still charge the same for everything as you did a decade ago!” I shouted. “Your business plan sucks! I don’t know shit and even I know that!”

  He looked ready to chop off my finger for real. “Just let me worry about it, and shut the fuck up on the way to the hospital.”

  There was too much to say with this new development out in the open, but I swallowed everything and watched as he called my mother to come cover the store.

  * * *

  Luke

  I’d texted Dominic two hours ago, and he hadn’t responded yet. For late Saturday morning, that was weird. He usually got up and went to the gym and was home by now bugging the shit out of me with random messages. At least, that was how it’d been for the last couple of weeks since we agreed to be… a thing.

  His radio silence this morning was a splinter under my skin.

  I stood in my bedroom with a towel around my waist, wet hair dripping onto my shoulders. I hadn’t shaved yet and was thinking maybe I should, when my phone chimed.

  Dominic: sorry. i just woke up.

  I frowned at the clock. It was close to noon. He never slept this late.

  Luke: You okay?

  Dominic: ¯_(ツ)_/¯

  I stared at my phone.

  Luke: What the fuck is that thing

  Dominic: shrugging

  Silence. Not even a lol. He usually responded with laughter to my gruffness or sneers about his social-media-speak and emojis. I gave up on texting and called him. The phone rang five times before he picked up. “‘Lo.”

  “What’s going on with you?” My tone was more stern than I’d intended.

  There was a rustle, like bedsheets. I pictured him with puffy eyes and messy hair. “I don’t know.”

  I sat down on my bed and ran a hand over my chin. I took a deep breath and softened my tone. “Want to meet at Clove? Weather’s nice.”

  A squeak of bed springs sounded through the phone. “That’d be cool.”

  “I’ll bring sandwiches. You eat yet?”

  “Nah.”

  “How soon?”

  “An hour?”

  “Good. Meet me on Martling, between the two lakes. See ya then.”

  In an hour, I’d dressed, made some sandwiches and thrown in some chips, grapes, and cookies Chelle had made. I peeked in on her to tell her I was heading out for a few hours. She waved me away. In Micah’s room, he was texting, brow furrowed.

  Omitting the truth from my kids was frustrating, but I respected Dominic’s plea to give him time. After all I’d been through with Jake, no way would I pressure Dominic into doing something he wasn’t comfortable doing.

  Micah looked up when I rapped my knuckles on his open door. “Hey, I’ll be gone for a couple of hours. Don’t care what you do, but you gotta stay here.” He hesitated before nodding. I didn’t like the hesitation. “Got it?”

  “Yeah, Dad.”

  I glanced at his phone, and he angled it away from me. “Who you talking to?”

  “Adriana.”

  Right. Of course. Everything Dominic had said about his family played through my mind. “She’s welcome to come over if she wants.”

  My son’s eyebrows rose. “Seriously?”

  “You want me to take the offer back?”

  “No, I just… no. Thanks, Dad. She’s at work but still… thanks.”

  I nodded. “See you soon.”

  When I reached the park with my book bag full of food slung over my shoulder, Dominic was waiting for me, head down, shoulders hunched against the cold.

  I was five feet away when he finally looked up, eyes brightening at the sight of me. I didn’t give a fuck who was around, I pulled him into a hug. I’d paid more attention to his body language the last couple of weeks, and it was clear how much he craved being touched. PDA wasn’t something I’d ever been okay with. That wasn’t the way Nadia and I had ever been together. But Dominic… he needed it. And I needed to give it to him.

  He slipped his hands under my jacket and curled his fists into my T-shirt, pressing closer like he wanted to burrow into me. I squeezed the back of his neck and he shot me a wobbly grin before turning on his heel to walk into the park. We found a bench near the lake, and once we were seated, I pulled out a sandwich for him.

  “Thanks, man.”

  He only took a small bite and then picked at the turkey sticking out of the sandwich. I was halfway finished with mine. “Do I gotta fuck you to get you to eat?”

  His cheeks flushed, and I chucked his chin. “I was joking. Tell me what has you all messed up. I haven’t heard your smart mouth once today.”

  He slumped on the bench, sticking his legs out in front of him as he ground the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Family shit. My future shit. Everything is shit.” He dropped his hands into his lap. “Well, except for you. This isn’t shit.”

  I shoved a cookie in his mouth. “Eat that, then tell me what’s up.”

  He bit down and chewed. “Damn, that’s a good cookie.”

  “Talk.”

  He ran a hand through his hair, not even taking care with his still-bandaged finger. “You know how I said I didn’t remember Dad being this bad?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well I think I was right. He wasn’t. I found out he’s in debt. Major debt. Behind on rent and he’s close to losing the shop.”

  I straightened, my appetite gone. “Shit.”

  Dominic shivered despite the mild weather. “Yeah, so I think that’s why everything has been so awful. He’s stressed and taking it out on me and my sister because he doesn’t know how to handle anything that can’t be handled by screaming and cursing.”

  I was still stuck on the debt thing. “That’s your family’s livelihood. What’s he going to do?”

  Dominic slumped so low it looked like he’d slide off the bench. “He’s got no plan because he’s living in denial and full of rage. I have twenty thousand in my bank account from when I was overseas, but that won’t help in the long term. He’s just going to fall behind again, because he’s been running the business the same way since he opened, and he’s always in the red. But I can’t just… not help. I can’t abandon Adriana and move out like I planned while they lose everything. I’m fucking stuck.”

  Nadia used to get pissed at me when she’d rant about her job, and I’d offer solutions. I don’t want you to try to fix anything, I just want to vent, she’d tell me. But Dominic wasn’t Nadia. And the despair in his voice was killing me.

  “Can you talk to him about how he runs the business? Where he’s investing the profit? How he can do better?�
��

  Dominic shot me a side-eye. “You haven’t tried to have a conversation with my dad, so I’ll give you a pass on acting like I can just stroll in and give him advice. I tried to bring it up again the other day when I noticed him yet again putting in orders for shit people don’t buy, and he threatened to put my lights out.”

  “He better think twice before he puts his hands on you.”

  “Aw, you offering to be my bodyguard?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Is he going to be able to talk to you without getting crazy?”

  “I don’t know. I feel like there’s no getting through to him. I will try to talk to him again, though. Something has to change. Hopefully he’ll stay calm and listen to reason.”

  I glanced around, but saw zero signs of other people. Dominic was no small guy, but I managed to tug him to me until he sat astride my lap. I thought he’d resist, worried about someone seeing, but instead he sagged against me, his arms looped around my shoulders.

  I ran my hands up his back and then cupped his face, kissing him and tasting cookie. When I pulled back, his eyes were closed. They opened into slits, bright blue beneath blond lashes.

  “When I’m home, everything seems hopeless. Then I’m with you, and I feel like coming back here was worth it.” His fingers tightened on me. “But all we do is talk about my problems. I don’t see what you’re getting out of hanging with me at the moment.”

  “Hey,” I said, tugging his hair. “I’ve been where you are. So I get it. And isn’t it clear to you what you give me?” Seeing the sparkle in his eye, I clapped my hand over his mouth. “Don’t answer that and make it dirty.”

  His eyes crinkled as he smiled from behind my hand.

  “You make me happy.” The words were simple, but I didn’t know how to speak flowery. “The kids say I laugh more and yell less. We all got problems, Dominic. You’re just in a particularly bad spot. It’ll even out.”