Darius would not allow himself to finish that sentence. He had not come this far without being able to hold onto a little thing called faith. It was one of his strongest attributes. When he believed in something and it was his personal truth, he held to it despite all the evidence that he was presented with. This had won him so many victories in his life to date, but none had come as close to his heart as this.
Darius set his resolve again and decided that he was not about to give up before he could even have a proper conversation with Candasee to find out how she really felt about him without her anger in the way. He knew a thing or two about how to hide his feelings under his pride and he wondered if she was somehow doing the same. Somehow he had to explain why her dancing was so hard for him to accept and how he had been able now to finally let it all go. It was never about her and he had to get her to see that!
Standing up he left a tip on the table for the wait staff and proceeded to walk back to the hotel keeping a safe distance behind the strolling couple.
Chapter 7
The first streaks of daylight were emerging above the horizon as Candasee unlocked the glass doors leading out to the balcony and stepped out into the cool, crisp morning air. The sky was a beautiful shade of orange, violet and blue and from her room she could see that that tide was low and the beach stretched out like a wide band of peach-coloured powder for several kilometres. It looked so inviting that she wanted to go down immediately for an early morning swim and jog. Peeking back inside the room she could see that Nathan was still very much asleep.
They had planned to go jogging this morning together and now that daylight arrived, she was having doubts about all of this once more. Last night was the first time that she really tried to let her guard down fully with Nathan and now in retrospect she wished she hadn’t.
When they made it back to her room last night she knew immediately she was still uncomfortable with him moving in with her but she’d forced those thoughts aside telling herself it was time to move on and it did not matter where she was. More than ever she was fighting an inner battle with her own feelings. Seeing Darius with Solange last night had upset her more than she’d bargained for as well.
So last night, she tried to open her heart to Nathan and it was clear from the way his irises darkened as he watched her the entire night that he was extremely aroused by her presence and that he wanted to make love to her. But she was just not ready and when she told him that it was hard for him to hide his frustration. But he still accepted her decision to wait.
Now in the morning, after the romantic candlelight, the sensual music and the sound of the ocean were far behind her all she could think about was how she could ever explain this to Darius.
“Candasee get a grip! He has no right to question anything you do! It’s over! Besides it’s clear that he is involved with Solange,” she muttered to herself as she surveyed the beach below. Why did that thought annoy her so much? Just thinking about it again made her want to throttle him.
Of all people that she could think of whose opinion about her and Nathan mattered, her traitorous heart still had to choose Darius. Even two years after the divorce her heart still remembered him and even more so now that they were in the same hotel and on the same property. This was irrational thinking. Darius had no control over what she did and who she spent time with anymore. The divorce took care of that, didn’t it?
She tip-toed back across the room and retrieved her jogging clothes and a bathing suit from her suitcase. This would be the second time she stood Nathan up for their jogging time but she needed some time alone to think. She brushed her teeth quickly and then slipped as quietly as she could out of the room closing the door behind her.
When she arrived in the lobby, to her surprise the camera crew for the travel show were already there and were looking around the grounds for the perfect place to begin recording. This was the first official day for the travel show so not wanting to draw attention to herself, she took another pathway through the duty free shops that led out to one of the restaurants and finally past one of the hotel pools and onto the beach. It was still very early and she was not really up for much conversation. She was happy that she did not meet anyone she knew on her way down.
Finally on the beach, Candasee stretched a little before she began jogging. Down here the fresh salty air was even more therapeutic and she could feel all the pent up stress in her body melting away and her thoughts became clearer. She ran to the end of the beach and back to the other end again before walking back to the area where she emerged near the pool deck and stripped down to her bathing suit.
She ran down the beach and into the water splashing and feeling free like a child at play before diving right in. There was no point in wading on the shore trying to decide if to swim in the cold water. A slow entry would only prolong the chilly initial agony. The water was cool and smooth and very clear this morning. She swam underwater for a while and opened her eyes just in time to see tiny fish swimming close to her face.
Swimming was such a great idea and she felt so free and so relaxed. She swam a few laps before lying afloat on the gently undulating waves, admiring the rays of the sun as the morning progressed and the sky became brighter. It would soon be time to return to her room and get ready, so she decided on one final dive.
When she finally rose to the surface, the salt stung her eyes and she rubbed them to relieve the slight pain of having them open underwater without any goggles. As her vision cleared she became aware that she wasn’t alone anymore.
“Good morning,” said Darius as he watched Candasee emerge from under the sea like a goddess in mythical times. The metaphor made him smile and he was glad now that he followed his intuition and decided to take a jog to clear his mind before his interview with Sally Flanders later that morning.
“What are you doing here?” asked Candasee suddenly feeling exposed in her cobalt blue two piece bathing suit. “Were you following me?” she demanded.
“No, actually I needed to clear my mind this morning so I thought a jog and swim would be the perfect thing. To my surprise here you are,” he replied with his gaze sliding appreciatively along the length of her sleek, toned body.
He might as well have used his hands because all that Candasee felt in that one lingering look was enough for her body to betray her desire. He’d only looked at her and she was already struggling to maintain some semblance of control over her emotions. Her nipples tightened and a slow warmth began to spread out from her womanly core.
“Where’s your boyfriend this morning, oh sorry your boss?” he asked wanting to see her expressive eyes and the way she would respond.
“I should be asking you the same thing about your girlfriend, Solange, right?” asked Candasee with flashing eyes unable to keep a tinge of jealousy from creeping into her voice.
“Solange?” asked Darius surprised by her quick and cutting response.
“Yes the beauty in red, who you had dinner with last night! I don’t think she would appreciate all of the attention you are currently paying to me,” she retorted.
Candasee was jealous of Solange? Darius noted this with great interest the way her eyes narrowed and how she placed her hands on her hips as she spoke.
“You aren’t jealous of Solange are you?” he blurted without thinking and immediately regretted revealing what he’d noticed.
She didn’t respond to him at all but instead her features became closed and she was suddenly walking by him and out of the sea. Darius lunged and caught her wrist and to his surprise she was trembling.
“Hey Candasee I’m sorry, don’t leave yet. I didn’t mean it that way.”
“No, I can see that it is time for me to leave so the sea is all yours now!” she said trying to tug her hand away.
“Maybe, but I don’t want to enjoy all this beauty alone!” he said softly using his other hand to follow the movement of a drop of water running along her arm. The sensation of his finger running along her arm only heightened
her awareness of him and deepened her desire to stay exactly where she was standing.
“You know what Darius, stop this game, it isn’t funny anymore”, she replied nervously. Would she always be such a mess of emotions around Darius?
“Candasee, I swear on my mother’s life that I am not playing any games with you, and you know how important my mother is to me!” he replied forcefully.
As she searched his eyes and his expression, and even his body language she could not find the lie in him or the indicator that all these drastic changes in attitude and attention were part of some kind of joke.
“What do you want from me then?” she asked.
Darius looked at the beautiful woman standing before him and how the beads of saltwater clung to her skin, how the grey of her eyes complimented the bright blue of her swim suit. She was so beautiful, his dream, his only desire. How did he tell her that he wanted their marriage back? How could he communicate that he was sorry, that he regretted all that he’d created through his attitude? So far his attempts at using words were failing miserably at getting her to see that he meant what he was saying to her. The heart could always understand and say what the mind and thoughts could not.
Her breaths were coming rapidly as she waited for him to answer and he did, suddenly pulling her toward him, taking her face between his big hands and capturing her mouth in a scorching, hungry kiss. She tasted like the sweetness of mint and as his tongue swept past her lips he feverishly tasted and reclaimed what he had been dreaming of for months now. She moaned softly at the initial contact between their mouths and just like it was the most natural thing in the world Candasee felt a fire that had gone out within her relight as she instinctively wrapped her arms tightly around Darius and surrendered to this savage yet sensual invasion.
This was what he missed and dreamt of and craved and now that he finally had a taste of her he could not stop. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and poured all of his love for her into this kiss and she was kissing him back as well. Suddenly, he remembered the scene on the beach last night and he drew away from her suddenly.
“Open your eyes, Candasee, I want to see you!” he demanded roughly.
Candasee felt like a feather slowly drifting back down to the earth and her entire body was on fire with passion for this man. It was as though nothing had changed between them, nothing at all. Her eyes fluttered open in response to what he said and she focused on his matching grey eyes which were searching her face intently.
“I know what you said to me when you arrived that night and I know that you are involved with someone else but it is never going to work with him, because we are not over. I see it in your eyes now and I felt it when you kissed me back just now, you still love me!” he declared.
Candasee groaned within and she closed her eyes feeling embarrassed at her instantaneous response. Kissing Darius immediately swept her out of any of her conscious reservations and now he knew her secret.
“Darius, I don’t know what you think you saw or felt from me but, I think we both got a little carried away just now with the familiarity and that’s all!” she lied panicking a little.
Her reaction was surprising because although she’d kissed Nathan many times before and even last night when all the romantic conditions were present, it did not come close to igniting what this one kiss did just now. She felt so alive and present in her body again for the first time in more than a year and it terrified her what it could mean.
“I don’t believe you! You were always a terrible liar!” he replied calmly.
“This doesn’t change anything between us Dar...”
Not waiting for her to try to continue explaining all of what was happening between them away, Darius reclaimed her mouth but gently this time, tasting and lingering on her lower lip and then her upper lip and then the corners of her mouth, sampling ever part of her before gently tasting inside her delicious mouth once again. Hot lines of electricity seemed to be spreading out from her lips and radiating out across her face in response to what Darius was doing. This felt so right, and it was as though the signatures they’d made on their divorce papers were useless because as Darius was proving to her now that ink could never break the connection between two souls.
“I love you, Candasee, I still love you!” he whispered raggedly against her lips, and immediately she felt all the strength go out of her legs until it was only Darius’ arms held her up and out of the rolling waves. The realization that this man still owned her heart and soul was too overwhelming.
“Darius no wait,” she said pulling away with some effort from what seemed like a strong magnetic current pinning their bodies together.
“Don’t say anything yet, don’t try to figure out anything. This doesn’t need any words. If there is one thing you can’t deny it’s the way you feel Candasee.
“You can’t just expect to kiss me like that and expect things to go back to normal,” she cried now sensing the hot tears that began pricking her eyes flowing down her cheeks. “It doesn’t work like that!”
“I know and there is so much I need to explain to you but now isn’t the time. Come to my room this evening after your session or I will come to you, it doesn’t matter! We need to talk!” he said.
“I can’t Darius, I have a relationship with someone else now!” she replied“, and I just can’t go around betraying him like this”.
“So you would rather betray your own self then?” asked Darius releasing her wrist suddenly.
His words stung not just because they were true but because he had the gall to speak to her about betrayal. He was the master of the subject! How dare he?
“No Darius, I am not betraying myself here and you are fooling yourself if you think that this meant anything to me!” she said now walking as fast as she could away from him and out of the water.
“Candee, you can run now but sooner or later we are going to have to talk about this!” said Darius. He’d spooked her, that was obvious and maybe that was what she needed. It was obvious more than ever that she was trying her best to pretend that he had no effect on her, but it was too late for her to hide that from him now.
“Come this evening after your last class! Just think about it!” he shouted after her.
Candasee kept walking and grabbed her clothes and after two failed attempts to put on her pants she threw them back down onto the sand in frustration before looking back at Darius who hadn’t even moved an inch from where he stood before. Why did this man have the capacity to infuriate and attract her like this? God, he was so distracting standing there like a wall of chiselled muscle in his long dark track bottoms and bare, muscled chest. Snatching up her pants again she decided to find a way to change in one of the poolside bathrooms before returning upstairs. So much for a relaxing morning!
“You go on Candee, I know where to find you!” whispered Darius under his breath as he watched her leave. She may not know it yet but she just gave him all the confirmation he needed to continue. He wasn’t the one putting on the show, she was and she was doing a damned good job too!
As she stood before the mirrors, Candasee touched her lips now slightly swollen and tingly from her encounter with Darius. She knew it was inevitable for them to talk but why did she have to feel so out of control at the same time? Quickly, she put back on her clothes and after taking a few deep breaths to calm herself she walked back through the way she’d come to return to her room. As she entered, she tried to do so quietly hoping that somehow Nathan was still asleep, but as luck would have it he was awake and dressed in his jogging clothes seated at the dining table waiting for her.
As she closed the door she smiled and tried to appear nonchalant,
“Good morning sleepy head!” she said with a slight song to her voice.
“Good morning, I missed you when I got up,” he said standing and crossing the space between them to embrace her. “Did you have a swim?” he asked after feeling how cool and damp her skin was.
“Yes, it was s
o beautiful outside that I decided to have a jog and a swim. I got up pretty early and the outdoors just called to me,” she said walking away from him so he would not see her eyes.
“Why didn’t you wake me, I would have loved to join you?” he said softly tracing her shoulders with the tip of his thumbs as he came to stand behind her.
Feeling uncomfortable with his nearness, especially after her recent betrayal with Darius, Candasee pulled away again and began to go through the clothes in her drawers for something to change into after her shower.
“Candasee, is something wrong, you seem so distant this morning?”
“No, I’m fine,” she lied. “You go ahead and get your exercise, I am going to take a shower and get ready to go downstairs early. There’s something I need to prepare before the students arrive later”, she said.
Something was different about Candasee this morning. She was no longer responding to him as openly as she was last night and that alone made him suspicious. What happened to change her attitude so quickly? He’d been very understanding last night when she said she wasn’t ready to make love.
“Did you run into anyone down on the beach this morning?” he asked in a measured tone.
Oh no, she thought. If there was one question she wished he wouldn’t have asked it was that one. So she decided it was best just to tell the truth but to stay calm. After all, the kiss meant nothing. All that was happening here was two people finding it difficult to let go of the distant past.
“Sure I saw the camera crew setting up for the shoot downstairs and I also saw Darius when I was leaving the beach,” she said with what she hoped sounded like an even tone which said that latter detail didn’t really matter. Then she hurried into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Leaning against the door she squeezed her eyes shut knowing that Nathan would not buy her story for long. Darius was ruining her life!
Nathan exhaled forcefully after she’d closed the door. At least she didn’t lie to him, but he knew that something had to have happened between them. Candasee was already pulling away from him and after a night like last night she should be feeling more drawn to him, just as he was feeling toward her.
Hidden Love (Derrien Island Trilogy) Page 10