“I know how you feel and that is exactly why I want to be clear on what I am doing here. I need to be honest with you too, I am so confused right now and I don’t want to be! I should be thrilled and excited about being with you and exploring us but I am realizing that I don’t think I even know what it is that I want anymore. Being alone will at least help me to make sure I know what I want with you too!” Candasee explained.
She looked long and hard at the man standing before her who was basically asking her for the chance to see where things between them could lead. It was a future of compatibility she was sure, because of their similar interests. It was never a good idea to dwell in the past but to live the most in the present moment and right now she had the love and full attention of a handsome, talented and successful man who wanted to get to know her! So why was she wasting her energy on wondering why Darius had changed and what had caused it?
“You do know that Darius and Solange are seeing each other don’t you?” said Nathan finally abandoning his inner struggle not to resort to lies. “They have been going out together even longer than we have. He’s already moved on so why are you fighting us? It is not as though there is a future for you there. In fact, she was on her way over here to meet him this afternoon again the last time I spoke to her a few minutes ago,” said Nathan fighting to keep the bitterness out of his voice. If only Solange had followed through, he wouldn’t have to do this to get Candasee to see reason.
Darius was never the two woman type of man but who knew how much he’d changed in the two years they were apart. After all she did see her kiss him just last night! thought Candasee.
Candasee walked away from Nathan so he wouldn’t see how much what he said affected her! Darius wouldn’t try to play that card would he? He asked her to come to him this evening to talk, so why would he also plan to see Solange as well? Was he playing with her mind and trying to rub in the fact that when she walked away that she’d lost him forever? He’d never be that cruel would he?
In her tiredness after class, she’d just fallen asleep! Looking at the alarm clock on the side table it was already four thirty! By now Darius would be wondering if she was still going to come. This was just too complicated now!
“Maybe you should ask him about her tomorrow morning at the meeting!” he bluffed watching the play of emotions across Candasee’s features.
“What meeting?”
“Apparently Mr. Brogan has requested that you attend the planning session for the performance night in the morning in his conference room. So we will be spending much of the night together getting the show sequence ready.”
“He did?” exclaimed Candasee with surprise.
“Yes, so it might not make sense for me to move out just yet. We could very well be working this out till the early morning hours!” said Nathan finding an angle that would allow her to consider having him stay.
Why would Darius request her to attend an executive meeting? The sound of Nathan’s voice broke into her thoughts.
“It might be wise for us to order some dinner now or to perhaps change and go down to the restaurant early. I wanted to try out the Grill House, what you think?” Nathan asked hoping that what he said was enough to rattle Candasee and make her reconsider her earlier demands.
Candasee could see that any hope of talking to Darius this evening would be almost impossible now. She couldn’t exactly blow off Nathan for dinner saying she wanted to go and talk to her ex! Maybe the morning meeting would be the opportunity instead and it would give her the time to hopefully be more settled in her thinking. After all two years of pain, misunderstandings and distance could not be erased by one kiss in two days, no matter how earth shattering it had been!
“Candasee, are you listening to me?” asked Nathan after she glazed over briefly and did not respond to his open question.
“I’m sorry, pardon?”
“I was asking you about dinner at the Grill House tonight?” he repeated.
“No, I’d rather eat in tonight!” said Candasee truthfully not prepared to be spotted by Darius on a date now that she had inadvertently stood him up! Knowing him, she would be lucky if he didn’t come downstairs looking for her too!”
“Okay no problem, I’ll call down to order and I will take a shower by the time the food arrives!” he said.
“Great, just great! This whole conversation about getting back her room now just turned into a whole night planning session! Sighing she sat on the edge of the bed and ran her fingers through her hair.
Simply amazing! thought Nathan. She looked beautiful even with the tiny sleep lines creasing her cheeks and her lips had his full attention from the time she began speaking. Last night he’d exercised immense self-restraint but now he felt that slipping away the longer he remained this close to Candasee. Maybe the reason she had difficulty choosing was because he was playing it cool too much. How would she know just how much he was offering her by playing by her safe little rules?
Unable to resist the temptation of her lips any longer, he pulled her up to her feet once more and tasted her lips before parting them with his tongue, plunging it deep inside her mouth before swirling and drawing hers into his mouth. He was done with the chaste kisses, with the unclear motives and being the understanding guy. He was done playing the cat and mouse game because look where it got him, back in 510. This was their time and maybe she needed to know what he was truly offering her, no holds barred!
Candasee instinctively pressed against his chest to push him away, surprised by the sudden intensity of this kiss but Nathan was not letting up one bit and slowly she found herself responding and wrapping her arms around Nathan’s neck.
Maybe he was right! They needed a chance to see what could be between them and she was the one keeping the brakes on their relationship. Maybe for once she could stop living in the past and embrace what was happening now. She sensed the warmth of his kiss flowing gently through her body and she found herself responding to him. Nathan stroked her body lovingly with his hands and turned suddenly so that he fell backward onto the bed pulling her down on top of him.
How she moved suddenly from standing to lying on Nathan’s chest kissing him was a blur to Candasee. He was tangling his hand into her hair holding her head firmly as he plundered her mouth with insistent strokes of his tongue against hers. Nathan had never ever kissed her like this before and it felt different, well actually more than that as her body now began to tingle in response.
Nathan rolled her onto her back and covered her body with his and began nibbling on her earlobe and tracing a path of passion along the side of her neck, before slipping the spaghetti strap of her camisole over her shoulder.
“Candee, I want you so much right now! Let me make love to you!” he asked needing her to be right there in this experience with him!
“I don’t know if I can give you what you want!”she responded truthfully.
“You are already giving me what I want, I need just your permission to have all of you!” he said raggedly.
How could she give him all of her when she gave that away years ago already? Candasee thought as flashes of times she and Darius made love came to mind. She wanted to give him more, to feel in control again instead of doubting everything she did with him. She wanted to throw caution to the wind and to just for once put aside the fears of what it could mean to let someone into her heart again. Was Nathan the one she could trust?
“Let me make love to you! Let me prove to you that we are perfect for each other! I want you to know and see exactly what I do about us!” said Nathan kissing her lips, cheeks, eyelids, and finally the tip of her nose as he spoke. Nathan willed her to say yes to him, to give him the chance to just show the passion he could offer her.
Candasee willed her mind to say yes, to move forward, to decide. Nothing could be gained by constantly running away besides five months was long enough wasn’t it to keep him waiting?
Exasperated by the litany of questions filling her mind Candasee silenc
ed them all by leaning toward Nathan and he and breathed a sigh of relief and joined their lips together once again.
Plundering her mouth savagely, his hands roamed freely over her body finally raising and removing her camisole and gasping with amazement at the beauty of her body now unveiled before his eyes. He knew she was gorgeous and unique but she was more than perfectly shaped and her taut nipples beckoned to him like the sweetness of gourmet chocolate. He took one into his mouth and sucked gently on it and her body arched into his mouth as she breathed her pleasure by holding his head down to her body! She was driving him crazy! He held her breasts in his hands and kissed and tasted every inch of them before pushing her tights down and off her body. Pulling off his t-shirt and shorts, his engorged arousal strained against his boxers and he fought the urge to unite their bodies’ right then. This was their first time together and he wanted it to be special, to be memorable.
Candasee looked up at Nathan as he undressed admiring the lean strength in his body and forcing away the thoughts of Darius that were straining to the surface. This would be her time to allow herself to feel the flames of fire and passion kindle in her with someone new, with someone she could trust. Nathan was literally chiselled muscle and perfection and a light sprinkling of dark hair covered his chest and grew from his navel before disappearing down in his boxers. All that separated them now were the flimsy materials of her sheer panties and his boxers.
“Candee, I want to hear you say it to me this time! Do you want me? said Nathan with his voice ragged with pent up desire. “I don’t want your silence, tell me you want this as much as I do!” he said raking his hot gaze over the length of her body as she lay half propped on her elbows with her body fully open to his view. His eyes had darkened and scant restraint registered on his features as he waited for her answer.
Candasee closed her eyes and steeled herself inwardly, begging her heart to cooperate and to be present in this. She would finally wipe the slate clean, make a fresh start here and finally be able to forget Darius and all the pain and disappointment, forget all the confusion she was now experiencing and extinguish the desire he had set ablaze in her with one kiss. She had to do something to resist being drawn back into his world so easily, to avoid looking so weak! With a groan of resignation she answered him. This was happening now and whatever came later she would face it but for now she needed to feel, to forget and even to pretend.
“Nathan, yes, yes I do want you!” said Candasee not recognizing her voice as she spoke.
“Nathan quickly removed his boxers and freeing the hardness of his arousal. He was completely male as he stood before her with his magnificent body and rippling contours.
He wanted nothing more than to bury himself to the hilt in the welcoming heat of her sex but before that there was something he dreamed of doing, well rather tasting first and he had to find out if the lingering flavour on his tongue after every dream was the same as the real thing. He wanted her to know passion with him, to erase every memory of Darius and whatever hold he had over her that she could not seem to break free of. He needed to rebrand her as his and now that he had he swore he would hurt any man who thought he could be so easily put aside. Pulling her hips to the edge of the bed he buried his mouth between her thighs tasting her first through her panties when suddenly, there was an insistent knock at the door!
Nathan with his passion clouded mind barely registered the sound. That was certainly not someone knocking at the door at a moment like this.
“Nathan? Are you in there?” a voice came through the door sounding like one of the instructors from the intensive.
Nathan groaned inwardly not just at the interruption but because his body was literally burning up with desire for Candasee and he could see she was already now distracted by the knocking.
“I think we should see what is going on, it could be important!” said Candasee now nervous about who could be at the door.
“Whoever it is had better have a good reason for showing up right at this moment!” he said standing to his feet. “Don’t move a muscle I will go and see what is happening.” He quickly put on a long track suit pants and a tee-shirt before opening the door and stepping into the hallway closing the door behind him.
They had come so close to making love and now the mood was broken. Candasee stood and put back on her robe and moved out onto the balcony. She had just shared a part of herself with Nathan and that was progress in leaving her old life behind and proving Darius wrong, Right? She just had to stay focused enough and this would work. There was no way that just showing up here for a few days could erode a relationship that had been building for more than five months could it? So why did she feel like she just betrayed herself and betrayed Darius?
Chapter 9
She never came! She never even called!
And now sitting here at the conference table in his boardroom beside Nathan she was practically glowing. The orange tones in her sundress made her eyes appear sensual yet icy and revealed her muscled toned arms and the softness of her breasts.
Darius was desperately fighting a losing battle with insane jealousy every time he saw Nathan lean in close to her ear and whisper something only they knew about and to watch her laugh. It was obvious they shared a special intimacy between them. But what did he expect anyway? She never did say that she would come to talk to him. He’d left it totally up to her! She would be here for another five days and it would be pure torture for him if he had to watch this until then.
The redeeming quality of it all was when Nathan presented the list to him and a few previews of their best pieces. It seemed to be a pretty balanced repertoire of dance, song and instrumental renditions and Nathan assured him that the intensive delegates were the crème of the crop in their own countries which made the show one of high calibre. Also some of the instructors would be participating and many had professional performing careers outside of their teaching assignments at the academy as well. Even Candasee would be performing a solo piece. He was looking forward to that if what he saw her dance two nights ago was anything to go by. She was the star of the show as far as he was concerned.
The meeting concluded with the events team and a representative from the Tourism board being pleased that the entertainment requirement was satisfied especially seeing that the cast were not all Derrien Islander’s. Nathan and Candasee had discussed what additional props and equipment might be required for the upcoming performance so all was set.
The meeting was finished and after cordial handshakes and well wishes everyone stood up to leave.
Candasee rose to leave as well hoping that Darius would think twice about talking to her with Nathan there. How could she even begin to explain why she didn’t come or call or say something to him? All night long she wrestled with the truth trying to stay focused on the screenings but the truth still surfaced.
She was afraid to love Darius while Nathan was her safe choice. It was bad enough that she loved him still all this time but for him to figure out that she was still not over him literally terrified her. She just couldn’t open herself to that kind of heartbreak again!
Darius noted the odd nervous expression on Candasee’s face when her eyes rose slowly to meet his before she turned away to leave. He had to speak to her before she left.
“Candasee, may I speak with you please?” he asked and to his surprise not only did she turn around but so did Nathan. This man was really beginning to irritate him.
“Alone!” he emphasized looking pointedly at Nathan.
Nathan’s expression narrowed as he turned fully to face Darius and was about to speak when Candasee touched his arm lightly restraining him.
“It’s okay Nathan. I will meet you and the others downstairs in time for breakfast.
“It’s not okay and I think Mr. Brogan knows why!” Nathan countered.
“I’m sure that whatever we need to discuss won’t take long, will it Darius?” asked Candasee looking at him pointedly. His face was impassive and almost a
mask of steel as he looked over her shoulder at Nathan without uttering a word!
The silence was uncomfortable as both men continued their silent ultimatums and finally Nathan relented.
“Ok! Candasee, not too long, I will be waiting for you,” he replied giving her a lingering kiss on the lips before leaving reluctantly. Darius winced inwardly at the sight.
Darius waited until he closed the door and waited for Gerald to announce that the outer office was clear before he said anything else.
“Won’t you sit down?” he said offering Candasee a seat at the boardroom table again. She sat down and waited for him to continue.
“So should I assume that you no longer wish to hear what I have to say?” asked Darius.
Candasee took a deep breath before responding steeling herself against revealing what she truly felt.
“ Darius, I was pretty convinced that I was going to come up yesterday but then everything just shifted on me and the audition ran really late. I could list many excuses but the timing here with us is just off,” she replied with attempted nonchalance.
“You know that is not what I meant. Your classes were over by two-thirty and you never called or left a message with my secretary, so I was left to guess and to wonder. Then I see you and Nathan arrive this morning looking extra cosy...” he said as his voice trailed off.
If her skin was any lighter the blood that rose to her face would have made her redder than a beetroot.
“It’s true! Nathan and I have gotten pretty close, in fact to be fair to him, I think I might be falling in love with him,” said Candasee, not knowing just how deeply her words wounded the heart of the man who sat before her. “Look I’ve told you this before, Nathan and I are in a relationship, and this conversation would not even be happening with you if we went to the Meridian hotel!”
Hidden Love (Derrien Island Trilogy) Page 13