When I Lied

by Michelle Kemper Brownlow

  “Can you please rewrite this slide? It sounds stupid.” Gretchen forced the Mac across the desk to me and spun it around. It was one of the slides I’d typed up the night before.

  “Sure.” I rolled my eyes.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s coming down to the wire. You should be working on your in-class presentations now. If you’re not, you better cancel all social events until it’s done. Your one-hour presentations are due next week.” Professor Woods handed out a calendar of Monday, Wednesday and Friday of next week. “We can do three presentations each day and get everyone in before mid-term grades are due. Any questions?”

  He waited but the only sound was Gretchen whining and mumbling under her breath. I spun the Mac around for her to see what I’d fixed. She nodded without even looking up at me.

  “Gretchen, what the hell is up with you? I can’t work like this.” I looked down at the schedule. “We go on Wednesday. We have six days to finish this project.” This time I didn’t even get a nod in acknowledgment. Gretchen just stared straight ahead. Professor Woods turned off the overhead projector and started to pack up his bag.

  “All right. Get out of here. See you Friday. I’ll be meeting individually with all nine groups to make sure you’re all on the right path to have this thing done by your presentation day. Have a good rest of your day.”

  Gretchen and I headed back to the dorms in silence. I had the rest of the afternoon off and I intended on turning on some music, pouring myself a glass of wine and working on our presentation.

  We walked into Webster Hall at my end of the building and Gretchen stopped at my door when I slid my key in the lock.

  “What do you need?” I tried to sound only half as annoyed as I really was. After two hours of deflecting her bitch power, I was really looking forward to being alone. I turned the knob and she pushed me the rest of the way into my room. The door slammed behind us.

  “I need you to stay the fuck away from Oliver.” She actually poked me in the chest with her finger three times during that sentence.

  “You’re insane. First off, don’t touch me. Second, I haven’t seen Oliver since the weekend.” I wasn’t one for physical altercations but I could have clawed her eyes out in that moment.

  “Yeah, I know. He was here Saturday night. You slept with him, didn’t you?” She threw her books on my bed and started to pace. “You know, Kate, I—”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn’t sleep with Oliver!” Technically I did sleep with Oliver but I knew sleeping was not what she thought we did. “So, what the hell are you talking about?” I stood still to keep from forcing my fist down her throat. My sanity was slowly fraying around the edges. Keeping up the mother of all lies, shouldering Oliver’s secrets, dealing with Gretchen, worrying about my grades and this Psych project and wanting to help Oliver by figuring out what really happened to Pierce Sunderland—it was all just too overwhelming.

  “Well, if you didn’t sleep with him, why was he in here at five o’clock Sunday morning?”

  “What?” Now she was spying on me?

  “I was coming in from a party and walked past your room. I heard people talking and thought I heard Oliver’s voice. I was pretty wasted but I was convinced it was him.”

  “Well, he wasn’t here.” I lied.

  “The hell he wasn’t, bitch!” She stopped pacing and was in my face in a fraction of a second. “I called him. He answered. I could hear his voice on my phone and through your door. Why was he here, Kate?”

  “You were with Charlie.” There could be only one reason Charlie was with her at five a.m. and that had my blood boiling. I wondered how upset Oliver would be if he knew she had not changed her ways. “So, why do you care what Oliver was doing?” She wasn’t going to paint herself to be the victim here. Good girl steals rock star right out from under party girl’s nose.

  “Aw. Are you jealous, Kate?” She twirled her hair and strutted away from me then spun on her heel at the other side of my room. “You don’t like that I’m fucking the boy you gave your V-card to?”

  “Again, your assumptions make you look like an ass.” I wasn’t sure what I was more upset about, the fact that she knew I’d had sex with Charlie or that she was sleeping with both him and Oliver.

  “Oh, my dear little naïve Kate. You are jealous. Well, let’s get one thing straight, okay? This is my game, not yours. Climb back under your little ‘I’m so pathetic I have to pretend to be someone else online to get a boyfriend’ rock and leave Oliver alone.”

  “You can’t make me do that, Gretchen, and you know it.” She was right; I was naïve and pathetic…at least that’s how I felt when I thought too long and hard about my predicament.

  “Kate, I told you a while ago that I was not someone you want to cross. What I have on you could end your psychology career before it even starts.” She raised one eyebrow and her mouth twisted into an evil smirk.

  “You’ve lost your damn mind!” She was bluffing. There was nothing she had on me, other than me creating Lexi, which wasn’t a crime.

  “I have screenshots of the pictures Charlie took the night you had sex with him. Pictures that would stop your mother’s heart. It would take just a couple seconds and you’d be spreading those legs virtually for every guy on campus. Hell, for every guy with Internet access.”

  I could feel Gretchen-flavored bile rise in my throat. I stormed out of my room and ran to the bathroom down the hall. I splashed water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. How do you spend eighteen years keeping your nose clean and then inside two months everything you touch tangles into a web of lies?

  I pulled my phone from my pocket and hit Oliver’s contact on my screen. I squeezed my eyes and desperately tried to erase the memory of his number being disconnected, as if that would make the call go through. I didn’t know what I would say; I just wanted to hear his voice.

  “The number you have reached is no longer in service. Please check the number and dial again.”

  Dammit!

  I sat up on the counter and rubbed my temples. I scrolled through my Twitter feed. I went to Oliver’s page and scrolled; he’d been virtually missing for almost a week and everything before that was just about upcoming interviews and promos they were doing in D.C.

  There was no reason for me to believe Gretchen. It’s not like I asked to see proof of the pictures she had of me and Charlie, but just the thought of anyone having a visual of something that intimate of me made my skin crawl. What happened between me and Charlie was a mistake—all common sense was thrown out the window after my third beer, and if Gretchen did what she’d threatened, I’d never be able to walk away from that. Knowing anyone on campus could have seen me naked would turn me into a recluse.

  When I slid my key back into the lock, I prayed Gretchen had left. I slowly opened the door. She was gone. My phone buzzed.

  Jason: What are you doing tonight?

  I couldn’t possibly add him to the mix. There was so much I had to deal with and I knew he liked me. I couldn’t handle one more emotion being tugged by anyone else.

  Me: I have a big project due. Sorry.

  Jason: Understood. There’s no party at Beta Sig tonight, thought I’d take you to dinner.

  If I wasn’t so caught up in chaos, I wouldn’t have had to think twice. Jason was a really nice guy and he was drop-dead gorgeous. I thought about it for one second longer. His proposition sounded so nice and far removed from the Oliver/Gretchen saga but I really didn’t need one more thing added to my plate.

  Jason: I have a Poly Sci exam I could study for, I guess.

  It hit me. Maybe Jason’s criminal science background could help. Maybe he’d know if there was a way I could find out what happened with Pierce.

  Me: You know what? That sounds nice. It will be a welcome distraction.

  Jason: GREAT! Come by the house around 6

  Me: See you at 6

  Jason: Looking forward to it, Kate.

  ****

  Jason and I sat
at Antonio’s, a quaint little café downtown, and waited for our food. I was oddly comfortable with him and didn’t have the typical jitters I usually did when I was on a date. I didn’t have a lot of dates prior to college but enough to realize I would have benefited from a dose of Ativan to keep my nerves from getting the best of me.

  “So, I have to tell you, I can’t walk anywhere on campus without seeing someone you need to add to your impression repertoire.” I took a sip of my water.

  “My what?” Jason crinkled his forehead.

  “You know those impressions you were doing the night you walked us home after the Beer Olympics?”

  He threw his head back and laughed. “Oh, yeah. I was pretty drunk. Glad it was so late and no one was around, I have a reputation to uphold.”

  I smiled. He was a cross between Channing Tatum and Liam Hemsworth with a little spoiled fraternity brat thrown in for good measure. “What reputation is that?”

  “You know, the nice guy, respectable gentleman kind.”

  “Well, I can tell you, you’ve pretty much mastered that one.” I was flirting. This all came so easy with Jason.

  “I’m pretty sure there are more than a couple girls on campus who would disagree.” He rubbed his forehead and tried to hide a boyish grin.

  “Oh, really? Do tell.”

  “So, one night my high school friend, Cali, who goes here, calls and says her sorority is doing some date function and one of her sisters needs a date. I oblige and get myself all dolled up and head out to the A D Pi house.”

  “Uh oh.” I shake my head.

  “Oh, hang on, you have no idea how messed up this gets.”

  Just then our food came. I was starving so I took advantage of Jason’s story to dig into my burger and fries. I motioned with my hand for him to continue.

  “Ends up my date is Jordyn, Cali’s ‘little,’ and she’s smokin’ hot, like way outta my league hot. And she’s also dumber than a bag of hammers.”

  I had to cover my mouth to keep from spitting my food at him, while also focusing on not choking. A bag of hammers. Hysterical.

  He nodded, relishing my enjoyment with his story, then continued. “I could barely make it through the salad course because she’s such an idiot. Sounds harsh, but you just have to trust me. So, I excuse myself and head down to the bar where I meet up with a couple friends who, for various reasons are avoiding their dates. We stand there doing shots and drinking for over an hour and we get hammered.

  “Cali comes down and sees me and suggests that the guys and I head out. So, we leave and head back to my buddy’s house. He’s a Chi Phi brother. I have no idea how long we’d been at A D Pi; it’s somewhere between eleven o’clock and Thursday, I don’t know. The walk sobers us up a little so we head straight to the bar.”

  “How many people do you think graduate with a degree and a full-on diagnosis of alcoholism?” Jason slurped down half of his iced tea and nodded at my question with a smile.

  “We were only there a couple minutes when this really pretty girl walks up to the bar. I make some joke—”

  “Noooo, you? Make a joke? You must be kidding.”

  Jason winked. And my stomach flipped over itself. Damn, he was hot.

  “So, before I know it, I’m walking her, Lucy, back to her dorm. I have a moment of clarity and think, she’s cute, real sexy and quite smart, don’t be drunk and stupid and mess this up. We start kissing in the elevator and by the time we get to her door, we are full-on making out.”

  “Jason. I’m really not interested in hearing a conquest story.” I dragged my finger across my throat for him to cut his story short.

  “No, wait. I promise, this doesn’t get graphic.” He wiped his mouth with his napkin, which only drew my attention to his lips. Ones I’ve kissed. He continued. “I think to myself, slow down, dude. This could turn into something more than just a Friday night hook-up. But, turns out, that’s exactly what she was looking for so, hey, I just go with it. She opens her door and we walk in kissing. And there, in the middle of the floor, drunk and crying is my A D Pi date.” And with that, he stood up and took an exaggerated bow.

  “NO! Are you serious? That sounds like something out of a movie. Ya know, the things you think don’t really happen in real life.” I shook my head and picked at my fries.

  “Oh, it definitely happened! Earned me a male slut award with the A D Pis that I can’t seem to shake.”

  “Oh, sorry.” I shrugged.

  “So, Kate, what kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into here at U of M?”

  I shook my head, thinking of how the situation I was currently in was also something you think only happened in books and movies.

  Oh, nothing much, Jason, you know, I just created this alter ego online, made her real and pushed her into the arms of the guy I’m falling in love with. And now she’s blackmailing me to stay away from him with lewd pictures of a night I barely remember. You know, the typical college girl story.

  “I’m really pretty boring, Jason. I can’t match your story.” I took a deep breath. “But, a friend of mine from the UK has something from his past that is pretty twisted. He left the situation before he had all the answers and I’m trying to help him fill in some blanks.”

  “So, you’re content living vicariously through your criminal friends?”

  “No. I just was wondering if you could help me figure out how to help him find out some answers, you know, with your criminal justice background?” I felt stupid using Jason’s question as a blatant segue into the real reason I’d accepted his invitation for dinner.

  “Well, let’s see.” He wiped his hand on his napkin, took a big sip of his tea and pushed his plate away from him. “Can you tell me the situation?”

  I couldn’t. Because if I gave Jason all the details he could find out about Oliver being involved in a fight ring. Who knew if Oliver’s name was connected to Ricky’s group of boys in some way?

  “I have an approximate year, a person’s name, the name of a city where the situation happened, and…” I ran my hands through my hair and pulled the hairband from my wrist to tie my hair up in a bun. I started to sweat every time I thought of Oliver fighting on that dirt floor, seeing his mom, Ricky’s inappropriate advances and poor Pierce.

  “Would it have been something that had been covered by local news?” Jason was in his element.

  “Possibly.”

  “Would the police have been involved?”

  “They should have been but I’m not sure if someone called for the authorities.” I already felt like I was saying too much.

  “You could Google it but you’d probably be better off checking out the microfiche files at the library. Sometimes I’ve done research there and found more information than I could have found on Google. It’s easier to narrow things down when you can pinpoint the place, date and name and then scour the files of newspapers and magazines local to that exact area.”

  “Perfect.”

  I couldn’t wait for our date to end so I could get to the library and do some looking into what happened that night in Dagenham. I think Jason got the feeling I was distracted after he answered my question. I felt so bad for wishing for the end of our evening together. We chatted some more and then left.

  “Do you want my help with the microfiche?” Jason walked next to me toward the library. If it wasn’t something that involved Oliver and was just some school project, I would have loved to have had his company while I searched through stacks of files.

  “Thanks, Jason. But I think this is going to end up being one of those needle–in-a-haystack things. And didn’t you say you had to study for something?”

  “Yeah, I do. But, I’m happy to help you if you’d like me to stay. It’s kind of late. I hate for you to walk home alone.” He gently rubbed my arm as we stood outside the library steps.

  “I’ll be fine. But, thank you for tonight, it was really nice.” I smiled and started to walk away, wanting to avoid another kiss.

  “
I hope we can do it again, soon.” He reached for my hand, tugged a little and pulled me into his chest. He used his forefinger and thumb to gently lift my chin up. “I really like you, Kate.” He brushed the hair that fell from my bun away from my face and then he slowly pressed his lips to mine. He put both hands on either side of my face and his kissed became fevered. He trailed his tongue across my bottom lip and my heart stuttered. God, this guy could kiss. As if an involuntary bodily function, my tongue reached out to his. Goose bumps rose across my body and my hands found his chest. I gripped his t-shirt in my fists and tried to keep my breathing steady. His mouth slowed its assault on mine and he ended our momentary intoxication with three long, soft pecks.

  I couldn’t speak. He’d literally swallowed my ability to form words. He tapped me on my nose with one finger.

  “Call me if you want me to walk you home when you’re done, Kate. I’d be happy to.” And with that he turned and walked away.

  My feet refused to move. The Indian summer was definitely over and late-October weather had blown in. I shivered but I was pretty sure it was Jason’s kiss that evoked that reaction and not the forty-degree weather.

  After an hour of scrolling through what felt like thousands of microfiche files, I called MacKenna out of sheer frustration.

  “Hey, Kate. What’s up?” MacKenna and the girls had drilled me a couple days after they watched me step into a limousine. I told them I needed time to digest what was going on with this new guy before I was comfortable giving them the deets. They respected my wishes. It was nice to have dinner with them in the dining halls and be able to talk about anything and everything that didn’t have to do with the Kate and Oliver saga. If and when I ever did give them the full story, they would kill me for not letting them in on it sooner.

  “Mack, I really need your help. What are you doing right now?” I squeezed my eyes shut to keep them from crossing from all the fine print.

  “I’m just leaving Beta Sig. Jack pissed me off so I told him he could spend the evening with his dork brothers instead of me.”