Heart Beats

by K. L. Myers

  I think for a moment before I respond. “I know you see what the media wants you to see, and I’m not going to lie to you because most of it is true, but that’s not who I am deep down inside, who is the person I want you to know. Now, come on, let’s eat.”

  I toss Kathy over my shoulder like a sack of flour and turn out the lights, closing the door behind us. When I reach the kitchen island, I grab the bag of takeout with my free hand and head straight to my bedroom, where I toss her on the bed. She lands with a bounce.

  “Are we having a picnic on your bed?” Kathy straightens herself and crosses her legs Indian style when she asks.

  “Yep, we’re going to eat and then I’m going to strip you bare and take you right here,” I say, patting the bed as I climb on and lean against the headboard with my legs stretched out. I pull the food from the bag and hand her the burger and fries she ordered.

  “Mmmm,” I hear her moan. “This is so delicious. I’ll never doubt your takeout skills again. When you said Zinburger had the best burgers, I didn’t believe you, but I concede. I was wrong.”

  We eat in silence. Well, at least I eat in silence. Kathy lets a little moan slip out every now and then to indicate how much she loves her burger and fries. When we’re both done, the trash is placed in the original bag and tossed to the floor. I’m not wasting another minute clothed on my bed with this beautiful woman. The minute my feet hit the floor, I am reaching for Kathy and tossing her over my shoulder again. This time headed for the bathroom.

  “Are you going to act like a caveman all night and carry me everywhere we go in this house?” I heard her ask as she slaps my ass with her palm.

  “Nope.” A one-word reply is all she gets as I stop in front of the walk-in shower and set her feet back on the floor. Kathy watches me as I strip down to nothing, my erection standing at attention as I walk around the corner of the glass block wall that separates the shower from the rest of the bathroom. “You joining me?” I call back to her as I turn on the water. Instantaneous heat washes down my back as the water hits me from above. When I don’t hear a reply, I start to panic that I am possibly going to end up in here all by myself. Just as I step out of the stream of water, Kathy’s tiny body rounds the corner. Her skin is prickled with goose bumps, so I immediately pull her to me, allowing the hot water to warm her body.

  My cock twitches at the sight of her pushing her hair back off her head and sleeking it down. Before I know it, I am on my knees in front of her, lifting her leg over my shoulder for easy access to her core. My tongue laps at her center, followed by a gentle bite to her clit by my teeth. I feel her shake under my hands, which only makes me want her more.

  “Oh God, more.” The words are a plea of desire as they leave her mouth. “More, Roger, more.”

  I’m not much into delayed gratification for my partners, but with Kathy, I want to hold out. I want her legs shaking of weakness when she comes, so I stand, push her against the wall, and then once more drop to the floor in front of her and begin my attack again. At each lick of my tongue, she presses her center harder against my face. When I finally slide two fingers inside her, I think she is going to come, but she doesn’t. I can feel her walls tightening around my fingers as I push them further inside her, rubbing the spot that will bring her undeniable pleasure quickly. My teeth and tongue go to work on her swollen bud as I continue to rub the tiny spot inside her, pushing her to her limits.

  “Oh, my fucking God.” The words ring through the shower as Kathy’s release consumes her. Her walls tighten around my fingers, making it almost impossible to pull them from her body.

  “That’s it, baby, ride out that orgasm. This is just one of many I’ll be giving you tonight.” I spin her body around, then place her hands on the shower wall as I push inside her. She feels like heaven on earth. I pump hard and fast, punishing her pussy because I can. Kathy’s breaths become louder the closer I get to my own release. “Fuuuuuck!” I yell, pulling my cock from inside her and emptying my release all over her ass.

  We were both so excited to feel one another that the thought of a condom didn’t cross our minds until I felt the quiver of her pussy around me. I was selfish and wasn’t willing to pull out, so I continued knowing that I’d be playing with fire if I came inside her, which isn’t an option. I chose to pull out at the last minute instead. Not a foolproof idea, but it was the best I could come up with in the heat of the moment.

  Pulling Kathy against my body, I move us back under the heat of the water. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that to you without a condom, but I couldn’t help myself.” Her head falls back against me as she turns to look up at me with her lust-filled eyes.

  “It’s okay. I’m protected. And it felt fucking amazing.” A sheepish grin spreads across her face.

  I kiss her lips, then reach for the body wash, pouring a small amount into my hand before lathering up her body with it. It is a manly smell, but I’ll soon change that and keep something fruity or flowery here for her because I intend on there to be many more nights like this one. When I’m done washing her from head to toe, Kathy reaches for the soap. I immediately stop her hand before it can reach the bottle.

  “This was about you, not me. I’ll wash myself. Otherwise, we’ll never get out of this shower.”

  She nods in understanding and slips around the corner to exit the shower. I can see her silhouette through the glass blocks as she dries off. My imagination once again controls my erection, priming me for another round.

  14

  Rocky

  Three Weeks Later

  I wake to the sound of a ringing phone, my phone, and an empty bed. The side of the bed that once held the most amazing naked body is now cold. It’s after eleven, and I’m sure I know who’s calling me. Cayson. Last night, Kathy slipped to Kayla that we’ve been seeing each other. It wasn’t really a slip per se. Kathy assumed that if Cayson knew, then Kayla knew as well. That wasn’t the case, so I can only imagine the shit storm that rained down at their home last night after Kathy hung up with Kayla.

  Sure enough, the caller ID shows Cayson is calling, so what do I do? What any other man in my situation does. I ignore the call and go about my business. There’s a hot shower calling my name, and my morning wood needs some attention. Good thing my friend rosie and her five sisters are here to visit.

  The water rolling off my shoulders and down my back washes away some of the morning tension but does nothing for my dick that is standing at attention. The only thing that is going to help relieve that is my rosie palm. So, without hesitation, I take matters into my own hand, literally. I close my eyes and envision every moment of the last three weeks I’ve spent with Kathy. Every glorious moment we’ve spent in and out of bed. The visions or her naked, legs wrapped around me as I fuck her, send tingles down my spine, but what sends me over the edge are the memories of her doing her best impersonation of a striptease. The desire in her eyes and the confidence that surrounded her when she knew she was turning me on. Just thinking of Kathy on her own makes me want to explode.

  Three weeks. I can’t believe it’s been three weeks since I set eyes on the most beautiful woman in the world and she’s worked her way into my heart. My craving for her far exceeds any craving I’ve felt in the past for a fix. When I’m with her, I’m just me, not Rocky, the rock star. I’m Roger Kohler, the human being, and she is the only one I let call me Roger. That’s what started everything blowing up last night when she was on the phone with Kayla. Kathy referred to me as Roger, and like a lion on a deer hunt out for the kill, Kayla was going to get the answers to her questions as to why Kathy was calling me by my given name, or why she was calling me anything at all. We’ve done a heck of a job hiding what we have been doing for the last three weeks from everyone. Everyone but Cayson. He’s the only one I share everything with because of our bond.

  When I’m finally dressed and completely relaxed, I place the dreaded call to Cayson. Might as well get it over with. He answers on the third ring, not with
a hello or even a ‘Go fuck you, Rocky.’ No, his first words are, “Do you know what it’s like to fight with my girl?”

  Trying to keep the conversation on a light note with less intensity, I reply, “Nope, I sure don’t, and I’m sorry you had to have a fight with her. Is she okay now, or is she still mad?”

  Cayson’s voice takes on an edge of anger. “No, she’s not okay. I kept a secret from her. She hates secrets, and we agreed we’d never do that to each other. Not after what we went through. So, tell me now why I shouldn’t kick your ass when I see you later today for talking me into keeping your secret?”

  “You can try and kick my ass, but we both know that ain’t gonna happen. Why? Because your bark is worse than your bite, and besides, I’m your best friend. You know, the one who hasn’t gotten into one lick of trouble in the last three weeks. The one who hasn’t even had a single urge for anything that would get me in trouble.” Yes, my tone is smug when I speak the words, but I deserve to speak like this because this is a huge accomplishment for someone like me.

  All hints of anger have left Cayson's voice. “You’re shitting me?”

  “Nope, I’ll tell you all about it when I get there.” Then I disconnect the phone.

  15

  Rocky

  Cayson’s home is quiet when I arrive. Kayla seems to be her happy self, and it appears that they’ve made peace with one another. Cayson doesn’t attempt to kick my ass, which I’m happy for because I don’t want to have to hurt my friend. I take a seat in the chair next to the couch where Cayson is peeling an orange and begin to tell him everything.

  “So, let me tell you about my last three weeks.” I smile before I proceed to spill the beans about my relationship with Kathy. Cayson is surprised to hear that we’ve spent almost every night together and more so by the fact that I’ve let her in on the real me. “Dude, the more time I spend with her, the more it feels like her precious heart has been mending my shattered soul.” I go on, “That hole that has been there since my parents died doesn’t feel so big anymore. I really like having her around, and when she is with me, I’m not thinking about booze or other women. I’m sure not even contemplating finding a fix.” Cayson continues to sit quietly while I speak, only interjecting when he asks if I’m making the right decisions for the right reasons.

  “’First off, when did you become so poetic?” Cayson tosses a piece of his orange at my head. “You do realize you’re talking about having a relationship with the sister of the guy you hired to be your personal accountability partner. Is that really a wise choice you’re making?” Cayson questions.

  I have to smile a second before I respond. “Well, it’s certainly not the worst decision I’ve ever made. But it does rank up there in the top ten. The thing is, man, she helps me feel normal—whole.” I’m not confident Cayson’s going to understand the next part. “She helps me find the joy in what I do.”

  I’ve surprised Cayson with my statement. I can tell by the confused look on his face when he speaks. “What you do? What do you mean? Have you had thoughts of walking away?”

  Okay, here it goes. No time like the present to air what’s been on my mind for years. “Sometimes it’s just too much for me to handle. The deadlines, the demands. Everyone wants something from me, ya know? Then there are all of you guys. Sometimes I want out. I want to walk away from it, but I don’t because I feel pressured to stay. The only way I know how to deal with all these emotions is to either drink them away, fuck them away, or worse yet, shoot a shitload of smack into my arm. None of those take away the issues, but they mask them for a short time. Only when the high is over, I’m still in the same spot I was before. It’s a vicious cycle.”

  “Rock,” Cayson says, “you’ve got us, all of us. Why didn’t you ever tell us you feel like this?”

  “No,” I bark out. “No, I don’t, not really. You all have your own issues and problems to deal with. No one needs to bear my burdens but me. Do you know how many times I listen to all of you complain about the label or your lives and I wonder if it’s all worth it? Wouldn’t we all be better off if no one knew who Razor’s Edge was? We’d all have fewer stressors in our lives, and we’d be free to do what we do, whenever we please without the paparazzi watching everything we do.” I run my hands over my face. “Fuck, CJ, kids idolize us. Do you think they should idolize my fucked-up ass? Why should they want to be me? Kathy makes me forget all this shit. She sees me for me who I am and doesn’t give a shit about what I’ve done in the past.”

  “Man, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were feeling this way. You know I’m here, man, anytime you need me to be. I know you don’t tell the guys everything you tell me, but just know that if you need to lay more shit on me, you can. You’re like my brother, Rock, so I’m giving you one piece of advice. You need to tell Rusty what’s going on with you and Kathy. If he finds out from someone other than the two of you, he’ll walk away from the job, and you’ll be even more fucked because you will have come between a brother and a sister. I don’t care what either of you thinks. You can’t keep it a secret forever.”

  “Why are you always stomping on my fun?” I laugh for a brief second. “You’re right. I know you are. I just need to find the right time to discuss it with her, but I promise I’ll do it soon.”

  16

  Kathy

  “I can’t believe you all leave tomorrow for Asia,” I tell Rocky. “Kayla says we should be at their house by five. I’ll meet you there. This way, Rusty won’t ask why we arrived together.”

  I hate having lied to my brother for the last four weeks, but it seemed like it was the best idea at the time. Now it won’t really matter since they’ll be gone tomorrow. Rocky will be back to his public eye persona, and I’ll be a distant memory. He says that I won’t be, but I know better. The old adage ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ keeps replaying in my mind. I’ve told him I’m just a phone call away if he needs to talk, but I’m not expecting too many of those calls. My comfort comes from knowing that Rusty will be by his side, helping to guide him along the way.

  “You sure you don’t want me to pick you up?” Rocky asks, his voice laced with anxiety.

  “Nah, I’ll be just fine. Rusty said he’d pick me up if I needed him to, but I think I’ll drive myself. See you there?” I hesitate for a moment and then say, “Roger, it’s going to be just fine. You’ll see.”

  I started calling Rocky by his real name weeks ago, but tonight, I’ll have to remember not to slip up and call him Roger, or the jig will be up. That’s how Kayla found out. Luckily, we’ve been able to keep this secret between the four of us. There were a couple of times on the phone when I thought Rusty had an inkling, but if he did, he never said anything. I’m going to miss Roger when he leaves. I’ve woken up in his bed beside him more than I’ve woken up in mine alone. I guess I’ll be getting used to being alone again, whether I like it or not.

  When I arrive, Roger’s car is already in the driveway. Shit. Rocky, Rocky. I say it over and over in my head. Rocky, Rocky. I have to call him Rocky. I repeat the mantra again and again as I walk up the drive to the front door. When I knock, the door immediate opens, and Rog—Rocky stands there smiling at me. He tugs my hand, pulling me inside and into his arms, and places a swoon-worthy kiss on my lips.

  “Just had to get that out of the way since I won’t be able to do that in front of anyone tonight,” he tells me.,

  I smile back at him and then say, “Anticipation will make meeting at your house so much better tonight, don’t you think?”

  As the night starts to wind down, Cayson stands to address everyone. “Tomorrow, we leave for Asia. The tour is going to be packed full of dates spread across Singapore, Bangkok, Tai Pei, Hong Kong, Seoul, and Tokyo. I’ve asked for increased security in some of these towns not just because my princess will be with us, but because there’s a lot of shit going on in these countries right now. Let’s all stay on our toes and have the time of our lives and make a lot of money.”

  Hoots and ho
llers are shared by all, but as the night quiets down, Rocky makes his way to sit between Rusty and me and calls for everyone to give him their attention.

  “Listen up, guys. I want to formally introduce you to Rusty Wallace. Rusty here is going to be my personal accountability coach and bodyguard.”

  Before Rocky can finish, Tim speaks up, “What the fuck, dude? You feel you need your own bodyguard? What? Are you more special than the rest of us?”

  Tim’s an ass. His tone is angry, which puts me on the defensive. I want to speak up and tell him to go fuck himself and not talk to Rocky that way, but I can’t. It’s not my place. That’s when Cayson speaks up.

  “Hey, shut the fuck up. Rocky has his reasons, and we’ve discussed it. I support him one hundred percent on this, and you should, too.” Cayson gives Tim the death glare when he’s finished talking and then looks to Rocky. “Go ahead, bro, finish what you were going to say.”

  Rocky looks a little uneasy when he speaks. “I have a drug problem—”

  Neil interrupts him. “No shit, Sherlock. We’ve known that for a while now.”

  I watch as Rocky clenches his fists a few times. “Thank you, dickhead, for your support and understanding,” Rocky says sarcastically, and I hear him mumble, “Prick,” under his breath. “Anyway, Rusty here is going to help keep me on track and be my support when I need it. All I’m asking is that you respect him like one of us, because like it or not, he is part of the team now.”

  When Rocky sits back down, his hand immediately rests on my leg under the table. I can feel it trembling from anxiety. I want to soothe him, but I can’t without giving us away, so I sit quietly and mentally send words of wisdom his way. It only takes a few minutes before I see him begin to relax, so I use this as an opportunity to call it a night. I stand and look at Kayla and Cayson.