All He Needs

by Shirley Hailstock

  “Aren’t you going to answer it?”

  Renee said nothing. The ringing continued, causing a high-pitched whine in her ears. A sound she hadn’t heard in years. It couldn’t be coming from the phone, but pinging back and forth inside her brain.

  “Renee, are you all right?” Dana asked. “Who’s on the phone?”

  Renee lifted the small device and held it up. Dana drew in a mouthful of air.

  Carter’s photo stared back at her.

  Renee hit Reject to stop the ringing. It rang three more times before she and Dana left the restaurant and returned to the town house.

  As they stepped in the door, the ringing began again.

  “You’re going to have to answer it sometime. Obviously, the man is persistent,” Dana said. “And it could be something important.”

  A hundred thoughts flashed through Renee’s mind, but she couldn’t pin any of them down. Why was he calling still? Why hadn’t she deleted his photo from her cell phone? She hadn’t seen it in three years, hadn’t thought of it. It just stayed there, like some specter waiting for the perfect time to strike.

  Renee pulled her phone out of her purse. She didn’t hear Dana leave the room, but as she inspected the phone, Renee noticed she was alone. The phone continued its insistent ring. Renee continued to stare at it. Her finger hovered above the reject button. Then she quickly pushed Accept. She wouldn’t let him intimidate her any longer.

  “Carter,” she said, using her happiest smile, one she did not feel.

  “You deliberately deceived me about where you were staying,” he began without a hello.

  “I did,” she admitted. She heard him swallow. He obviously wasn’t expecting her to admit the truth.

  “Why?”

  “It’s a privacy thing. I didn’t want to be disturbed.”

  “I disturb you?”

  She saw the shadow of a smile on his lips.

  “Not in the way you’re thinking,” Renee told him. “And you canceled our meeting today. So we’re even.”

  “I had to cancel the meeting. My father is in the hospital. I had to come out to the Hamptons.”

  “Oh,” she said. “I’m sorry. Is he going to be all right?”

  “They’re still doing some tests, but you know my dad. He’s a powerhouse. And he’s not as bad as my mother made me believe.”

  Renee knew Joseph and Emily Hampshire—Joseph had run the magazine empire for years. He was a fair man and loved by his employees. She liked him a lot. His wife, Emily, was a fashion designer, and she could be excitable. Having a sick husband qualified as a good reason.

  “Please let him know he’s in my thoughts,” Renee said.

  “He’ll like that. He always liked you,” Carter said. “When I get back, I want to reschedule our meeting.”

  “Carter, we had a chance three years ago. You chose to end it. I’ve moved on with my life, and I suggest you do the same.”

  “I didn’t call you to rekindle a love affair.”

  Renee took a deep breath. She felt a knife slip into her heart. They hadn’t had an affair, and the love had only been on her side. “Then why are you calling?”

  “We talked about a position at Hampshire last night. You were supposed to give me an answer tonight.”

  “I respectfully decline,” she said.

  “Respectfully?” he questioned. “Are we going to be that formal?”

  “It’s considered good manners to be formal with people you’ve just met. Remember, we are strangers.”

  “Oh, right. We’re strangers. So, if we are strangers, then why don’t we act like we just met and we can discuss my offer like adults?”

  “We’ve already discussed it, and I’m happy with my current position.”

  “I hear you have a house.”

  Renee gulped. How could he know that? She hadn’t even told Blair.

  “I guess that means you’re moving back to the city permanently.”

  Did she hear hope in his voice? Did she want to hear it? Renee mentally shook herself. Carter didn’t want her, only her expertise in the bridal industry.

  “I’ll be working and living here. But, like I said, I’m keeping the position I have. And how did you know?”

  “So, you’re not leaving town as you said.”

  “No,” she answered. And you didn’t tell me how you knew.”

  “My mother told me.”

  “Your mother?” Renee frowned.

  He nodded. “My mother designs for Lealia Sauvageau. She and her husband own the house next to the one you bought.”

  “I recognize Lealia Sauvageau’s name,” Renee said. “What does she got to do with this?”

  “She’d ordered a gown from my mother and would no longer need it since she and her husband have sold their house and are moving. In the course of conversation, Lealia told my mom that the house next to them was being rented by a bridal magazine owner.”

  “And you naturally thought I was the only owner of a bridal magazine in town?”

  “Naturally,” he replied. “Especially since you’re the only one coming from Princeton.”

  Renee closed her eyes.

  “Small world,” she said flatly.

  “Isn’t it? Lealia thought she was helping my mom by giving her a lead for another place to showcase her designs.”

  “I see.”

  “Anyway, now that you’re going to be here, we can have that dinner tomorrow night. It’ll be a small celebration, marking your return to New York.”

  “Carter, I’m very busy and we’ve already met for lunch once. We don’t need to prolong this...” She didn’t know what to call it. It wasn’t friendship.

  “You’re not afraid of being across a table from me, are you?” he interrupted.

  She laughed. “You’re not going to play the fear card. You know I have no fear where you’re concerned. But I decide who I want to eat with and that has nothing to do with you laying down a challenge.”

  “So the answer is...”

  Renee weighed the invitation for a long time. She saw Dana in the doorway gesturing for her to accept. Dana could only hear one side of the conversation, but she could tell Carter had asked to see Renee. Renee knew it was best to stay away from him, but if she was going to live in New York and inevitably run into him, she would have to become comfortable in his presence.

  “Fine,” she said. “Dinner tomorrow.”

  “You’re not going to stand me up, are you?”

  “I keep my word,” she said.

  “Where are you staying?” he asked.

  Renee was not about to give him the address. She knew he often showed up early for a date, and then they wouldn’t make it out.

  “You discovered I’m renting a house, yet you don’t know where I’m staying.” She paused, then said, “I’ll meet you at the Rainbow Room at seven.”

  She heard his sigh through the phone. “Rainbow Room it is.”

  “Tomorrow, then.”

  “Good night, Renee.”

  She clicked the end button without saying anything. The tone of his voice with those three words had taken away her power of speech. Did he know he was doing that? Was it on purpose, designed to throw her off guard? She’d heard those words in the dark, after a fervent night of lovemaking. They’d wrapped around her, folded her in a blanket of warmth, the way his arms had. She’d voluntarily gone there, taken his hand and run with him into an unknown place that held the promise of forever.

  Renee had never wanted to leave it. She’d wanted to see the next bend, open the next door and find what surprises awaited her. She’d wanted to jump from cloud to cloud and go with the man of her dreams.

  In his arms, she had been blinded. She’d forgotten that dreams have the perman
ence of smoke. And it had blown up in her face. The relationship had hardly begun before the burning between them had been doused, leaving only smoke and cinders. It had taken her a while to get herself under control, to not open her eyes in the morning and find herself thinking of him. But she was at that point now. And there was no way she was allowing him back into her heart.

  Chapter 3

  Renee took a deep breath and stepped off the elevator on the 65th floor of Rockefeller Center. She wore a formfitting red dress with shoes that sparkled. It had taken her a while to decide what to wear. This wasn’t a date, she kept telling herself. But who goes to the Rainbow Room just to eat? Then she decided to throw caution to the wind and dress as well as she could. She’d show Carter what he was missing and then not let him touch it.

  Carter was standing by the door when she arrived. He smiled, looking her over.

  “I should have worn sunglasses,” he said, his smile wide. “You’re dazzling.”

  Renee couldn’t help returning it. “Thank you.”

  He didn’t wink at her, but the slight change in his eyes told her he approved. The thought warmed her in places she wished it didn’t. He reached to give her a hug, and Renee steeled herself. She stopped him before he could pull her into his arms.

  “Still strangers?” he asked.

  “Good evening, Carter.” Renee ignored his question. He was dressed in a black suit with a gleaming white shirt and shoes that had a mirror shine. The man could be a GQ model instead of a publishing magnate.

  “Your table is ready,” the maître d’ said.

  Renee followed the black-coated man to a table for two next to the large windows that looked out on the city. The night was clear, giving them a panoramic view of the Empire State Building and Washington Square Park.

  For a while, Renee buried her face in her menu. She knew what she wanted, but spent time looking over the selections as if she were deciding. She was avoiding looking at Carter, and now that they were here, she wondered what they had to talk about. It couldn’t be their past.

  “Are you hiding?” Carter asked.

  She closed the menu and laid it on the side of the table. “I was checking over the new entrées. It’s been a while since I was here.”

  For a moment he only stared at her. Renee stifled a smile. She’d accomplished her goal. Carter gazed at her with appreciation, and she could see a glimmer of attraction in his eyes.

  A waiter brought them a bottle of champagne and went through the ritual of opening and pouring the wine into flutes. Taking their order, he quietly disappeared. Carter raised his glass and Renee clinked hers with it, the bell sound of the crystal rang clear.

  “Congratulations,” he said.

  “On what?” Renee asked.

  “Your move.”

  “I haven’t moved yet.”

  “Tell me about the new house. Where is it?”

  “It’s up in the museum district.” She avoided giving him a specific address. It wasn’t like he’d show up on her doorstep, but if she was going to keep her heart intact, she wanted him to know as little about her as possible.

  “Will you be launching your magazine from there?”

  Their food arrived, and she took a moment to take a bite and swallow before answering. “Now that I’ve secured living space, I’m looking for offices for the magazine.”

  “So you’ll be back for a site search.”

  Renee felt the color creep under her skin. She’d walked into that. “I will.”

  “When?”

  “I have no current plans.”

  “Will you let me know when you return?” he asked straight out.

  “No,” she said without hesitation.

  “Why not?”

  “I’m not here to see you. When I come, my time will be limited. As you’ve said, launching a new magazine takes a lot of work.”

  “So you’re not dating.” He stated it as a fact.

  The switch in subject gave her whiplash. “My love life is not your concern,” she told him. “And yours is no concern of mine, but why is it you’re here with me instead of being out with some other woman? As I remember, you never had a problem getting dates. I don’t imagine that has changed.”

  “I’m between women at the moment.”

  Renee took a bite of her food, but she regretted it the moment she put it in her mouth. She was sure she couldn’t swallow it. Yet the fact that he was unattached caused a small flutter in her stomach.

  “What about you? Married? Divorced? Is there someone back in New Jersey waiting for you?” Carter asked.

  “Not married, not divorced. If you’re asking if I’m dating, yes,” she lied.

  There was no one special back in Princeton. There were men she knew, and if she needed a date, she’d have no trouble getting one. But there was no one she’d run to with good or bad news.

  “Anyone special?” Carter persisted.

  “You’re getting really personal,” Renee said.

  He sat back as if he was backing off. “I apologize. It’s just been a long time since we’ve seen each other. I was only trying to catch up.”

  “I see.” Renee said it slowly. She put her fork down and folded her arms along the edge of the table. “I have a question I’ve been dying to ask for three years,” she said.

  Carter didn’t hesitate, but Renee could see the change in him. He must have known what was coming. “Go ahead,” he said.

  “What happened three years ago? I felt like we were going along smoothly, then the floor fell away and there was nothing holding me up.”

  “It was timing, Renee. It just didn’t work.”

  “Well, answer this, then. What’s changed in the past three years that you want to be in my company now?”

  * * *

  The air around their table grew instantly heavy and despite the conversation of the other diners, the room felt utterly quiet.

  “Nothing’s changed,” Carter said. And he meant it. He still felt the same way about Renee as he had when he left to go to Afghanistan.

  Carter had known this question would come sometime. When he’d left there had been no guarantee that he would return, and he’d wanted to save Renee from what could happen. Three years ago it had seemed like the right thing to do. But tonight, as he looked at her beautiful face and the way her body moved in that red dress, he wasn’t so sure.

  He had to tell her, but not right now.

  “Do you mind if we postpone that question until the end of the night? I will explain, but I don’t want to start the evening with that.”

  Renee nodded. Carter could tell this was not the response she was expecting. But he needed more time to decide how to tell her.

  “What’s it like working as a consultant?” he asked, hoping to lighten the mood.

  Renee leaned back and seemed to relax. The tension bunching the muscles in the back of his neck relaxed.

  “It’s the other side of the table,” she said. “Working directly with the people who buy the gowns we put in the magazines gave me a totally new perspective on what they want and how to please them.”

  “Do you like that side of the business?”

  She nodded. “Like any job, it has its good and bad moments. For the most part, they were good,” she said. “I love the gowns, and I love seeing the glow on the brides’ faces when they see themselves for the first time in white lace or satin. Often the emotions surprise them so suddenly that tears spill down their faces. That’s something we can’t duplicate in the pages of a bridal magazine.”

  “Is that what you want to do?” Carter asked. “Return to the magazine world so you can infuse emotion into the pages?”

  Renee seemed to take a moment to ponder that. “Yes,” she said, speaking in a whisper. Her face showed s
he’d hadn’t thought of it until that moment. “I like production and development. I like layout and finding new ways of presenting the designs. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be about to launch a magazine.”

  “But now you know what you want to do to make this one different from the crowd of bridal issues already on the newsstands.”

  “I suppose I shouldn’t have admitted that to you. After all, we are going to be in competition with each other.”

  “I promise to keep your secret.” He leaned forward as if they were conspirators. “And that’s only one idea. As much as I’d like to know more, I can’t get in your head and see what else is in there.”

  Renee swallowed. He could tell she knew there was a double meaning in his words. Carter had fallen for her the moment Blair introduced them. He hadn’t understood the attraction. It was much too fast, and he’d never had any feelings as immediate as those before.

  Resisting them seemed the natural thing to do. But he’d found himself taking more interest in the bridal division. His eyes were always on her when they were in a room together. He loved talking to her, sharing opinions. But then he’d had to leave, and making her play the waiting game would have been unfair.

  A burst of song came from another room. Both of them glanced toward the door.

  “It’s a wedding,” Renee said.

  “Ever crash one?” Carter asked.

  “I never needed to.”

  She smiled and Carter felt the warmth of it. This was the first time she’d really smiled at him. The others had been imitations, put on at the right time, but not genuine. This one was, and he wished he could capture and hold it.

  “Wanna crash this one?”

  “You’re not serious?” she whispered as if the entire wedding party could hear her.

  “Come on.” Carter stood, holding his hand out.

  “We haven’t finished eating,” she told him.

  “The food will wait.”

  Renee put her hand in his. He wanted to hold her, and slow dancing at a wedding would give him an excuse.

  “We’ll be right back,” he told the waiter as they headed for the reception.

  “Hi, Renee, I didn’t know you were going to be here.”