by AnDerecco
DWIGHT
Landon, what are you doing here?
LANDON
To make sure that you were coming to the service. Grandmother told me that you were not allowed to ride in the family car.
DWIGHT
Yeah she called and told me.
LANDON
Do you think that she will ever change the way she feel about you?
DWIGHT
Yes I do. Two days after hell freezes over.
LANDON
Do you want me to ride with you to the service?
DWIGHT
No. I want you to ride with Grandmother and Maddie.
LANDON
Dwight I want you to know that I love you man.
DWIGHT
I love you too.
I rubbed his dreads and pulled him to me. I gave my brother a hug like never before. My heart felt as though it skipped several beats when he returned my embrace. I could only imagine what was going through his mind.
LANDON
I think that I need to be alone. I will meet you all after the service.
DWIGHT
Are you going to be alright?
Landon looked me dead in the eyes.
LANDON
Better than some people will.
He walked out of the door without another word. Maybe I should not have told him about our grandparents but he needed to know. I walked over to where my suit was hanging and began to get dressed.
As I was putting on my watch I noticed that it was close to 10:30. I knew that I need to hurry to get there on time.
I took one final look in the mirror to make sure that I was presentable. Everything needed to look genuine for today.
Arriving at the church I saw the pallbearers taking the casket in. I saw the family car parked to the left of the church. I wanted to go over and speak but I didn’t want to upset Grandmother anymore than she was.
When I saw them getting out of the car I decided to at least walk in with the family. Madison spotted me and beckon for me to come stand beside her. I quickly walked to the front and took her by the hand. Grandmother looked at me and gave a quick huff.
MADISON
Where is Landon?
DWIGHT
He came by my room earlier. I thought that he would have been here by now.
MADISON
Did you talk to him again?
DWIGHT
No. He came by, checked on me and left.
MADISON
I hope he gets here soon.
DWIGHT
He will.
8
As everyone was leaving the cemetery I decided to visit my mother’s grave. I walked over and kneeled down at her headstone. I placed one hand on the headstone and the other one on the grave. I sat in silence for a few moments. I turned and looked back at Grandfather’s grave. The fresh flowers rested on top of the mound of dirt. I could not help but wonder what really goes on underground.
DWIGHT
Hey mom. I know that it has been a long time since I have visited you. Living in Seattle and working makes it hard to get here. We laid Grandfather Davis to rest today. He is over in the “Cove” section. But anyway, how have you been? I know that was a stupid question but I am missing you so much. I wish that you were still here with me. I need you mom. A lot has happened since I was last here. I am so hurt. I don’t know who I am, what to do or where to turn. That is one reason why I moved from here. I have got to find myself. Why did you leave me? I feel that I have no one. Maddie has her own family. She is busy with the family oil business. There is nothing for me here in Waynesboro. Landon is another subject. Grandfather and Grandmother spoiled him rotten. That boy gets any and everything that he wants.
Mom, I feel like just running off the end of the earth. I have something I need to tell you, and I hope it doesn’t change our relationship. I love you, and I’m grateful for all that you have ever done for me to help make me the man I am. Then there is another thing that is going on with me. My so-called love life. I am same gender loving. I know that sounds strange but most people say gay. I don’t like that term and never have. I have tried for a long time not to be. I’ve tried to change. I’ve tried to pray. I’ve tried to stop thinking about men. I’ve tried to force myself to like women. I’ve tried, mother - I promise. I’ve tried so hard, but I can’t change who I am. I have played this conversation out over and over again in my mind, which has caused me grief and anxiety while trying to figure out what your response would be. Would you disown me? Ridicule me? Pray over me? Ignore me? Would you be disappointed in me? Be angry at me, ignore me, or worse - dismiss me? The fear of the unknown has crippled me.
I live with my partner whose name is Brian. We have been together for two years now.
When I came home on yesterday, I stopped by the first guy I had ever had sex with. We talked and kissed. That was all. I told Brian about it when I talked to him. Of course he hung up on me. I don’t know what to do. I try hard to be honest and all but everything I touch or try to do…I mess things up. I need you to give me a sign. I need to know that you are there watching me.
LANDON (stepping up behind me)
She is watching all of us.
DWIGHT (jumping to a standing position)
How long have you been standing there?
LANDON
How long have you been gay? No wait…same gender loving.
DWIGHT
You hate me now.
LANDON
I could never hate you. You are my brother. I hate that you felt that you couldn’t talk to anyone.
DWIGHT
It is not that easy.
LANDON
Does Maddie know?
DWIGHT
No one knows but you now.
LANDON
I think that you should tell them.
DWIGHT
Oh you do.
Landon and I started to walk towards our cars. We discussed my situation in more details. Upon arriving at my car Landon pulled my arm.
LANDON
Dwight, Grandmother and Grandfather loved you. They just didn’t know how to tell you.
DWIGHT
When and how did you become the voice?
LANDON (with a crooked smile)
Age. Plus I know them. There is no way that they could hate family.
DWIGHT
That’s the thing I am not family. I only have you and Maddie. I thought that I had Brian but now I might not even have him. Why did I have to go by Patrick’s house?
LANDON
Do you love this Brian guy?
DWIGHT
More than you know.
LANDON
He is just hurt. I think that he will come around.
I just stared at my little brother. I heard those words that were coming out of his mouth, but I could not believe it. Of all people, I thought that he would be the one upset.
LANDON
Call him when you get in your car. Explain it to him. Even if you have to talk to his voicemail. Be honest.
I grabbed Landon and hugged him so tight. I cupped the back of his head and gave him a kiss on the cheek. We got into our cars and parted ways.
I reached into my coat pocket for my phone. I dialed Brian’s number but there was no answer. I didn’t leave a voicemail because I wanted to talk to him. I pressed redial several times. Finally I got an answer.
BRIAN
What do you want? Go find the guy you kissed.
DWIGHT
Would you please be quiet and listen to me? I love you. You and only you. You are all that I have.
BRIAN
Please. Save this speech for your mama.
DWIGHT
My mother is dead.
Silence.
BRIAN
I didn’t know. This is what I am talking about. You don’t talk to me. I only know a little about you. I don’t know anything about your family.
I pulled my car over and cried like a baby.
BRIA
N
Dwight, are you okay? Do you want me to come down?
DWIGHT (sobbing)
No I am good. It’s just that I don’t have anyone in my corner.
BRIAN
Baby I am here for you. Anything you want, anything you need. I will do my best to make it happen.
DWIGHT
Thank you but I am okay.
BRIAN
What are you about to do?
DWIGHT
Go back to the ranch and be with my sister and brother I guess.
BRIAN
When will you be home?
DWIGHT
Before the week is out.
BRIAN
I love you dude.
DWIGHT
I love you fellow.
We ended the call on a good note. In my mind I wanted to go to my hotel room, pack my bags and return to Seattle. I knew that if I did that, I would not hear the end of it.
9
Landon’s heart pounded in his ears as he drove down the highway. He didn’t know what to expect when he reached his destination. When he looked down he noticed that the speedometer was on 85 mph. His mind was traveling faster than his car.
He pulled up to a brownish-red house where three vehicles were already in the driveway. He hopped out of the car with his shirt hanging out of his pants. His sports coat was half on and half off. He raced to the door of the house and knocked four times.
A frail younger guy answered. He looked Landon up and down.
ROMAN
What up?
LANDON
Is Apollo here?
ROMAN
Who’s asking?
LANDON (nervously)
Terry…
ROMAN
Wait in here.
Roman pointed to a couch in the living room. He walked to the back of the house and stayed for about two minutes. When he returned he sat at the table with a few other guys and picked up the cards that were in his spot. Landon waited patiently for further directions. Five minutes passed and Landon asked him if he could see Apollo.
ROMAN
He said that he don’t know you.
LANDON
How the hell is he going to say that he doesn’t know me?
ROMAN
By moving his damn mouth. So if you wanna leave the way you came in I suggest that you don’t say another word.
LANDON
He is going to see me.
By this time a man that was the color of charcoal entered the room. He stood 5’9 and he had a cane in his left hand. He didn’t use the cane for walking but he just carried it. He noticed Landon standing behind Roman. Their eyes met for a quick second. The man used the cane to direct Landon to the back. Landon immediately walked in front of him.
The man kept the cane in the middle of Landon’s back. He directed Landon into a room and immediately closed the door. With a quick flick of the lock he punched Landon in the stomach with the cane. Landon fell to the floor holding his stomach. The man kneeled down beside him and placed his hand on his back.
APOLLO
Where the hell is my money?
Landon tried to speak but was too weak. Apollo took the cane and chopped Landon across the back. Landon laid flat on the floor. Apollo pulled Landon by his dreads.
APOLLO
Where is my money?
LANDON
I don’t have it right now. But I need a quick fix until tomorrow. I promise you that I will have the $7,500 that I owe you.
APOLLO
What type of fool do you think that I am? Do you know that I can kill you right now and no one will ever find you?
LANDON
I promise you Apollo. I will have your money in the morning.
APOLLO
You tried to be slick around my boys by giving them a fake ass name. You know what I am going to give you this. But if you don’t have my money in the morning I am coming for you.
Apollo pulled out a safe and grabbed a bag with several different color pills. He place ten pills in a small clear bag. When he put the safe up and walked back to Landon. He placed the bag on Landon’s chest and patted it.
APOLLO
I want $10,000 by 8 o’clock in the morning. If it is not here I am coming for you.
LANDON
I will have it for you.
Landon grabbed the bag from his chest as he picked himself up from the floor. He took two pills from the bag and popped them in his mouth. He threw his head back to make sure that the pills went down his throat. He placed the bag in his pocket and walked out of the room.
APOLLO
Make sure that you are here in the morning or I am coming for you.
Landon looked at Apollo and smiled.
____________________________
Landon walked into his grandmother’s house. The house was completely dark except for the light that was coming from down the hall. Landon walked towards the light. He noticed that the light was coming from his grandmother’s room. He knocked on the door to see if he would get a response.
GRANDMOTHER ELLA
Come in.
Landon opened the door and entered slowly.
LANDON
Gran are you awake?
GRANDMOTHER ELLA
Yes. I am just reading some cards from the service today.
LANDON
How are you feeling?
GRANDMOTHER ELLA
I am good. How are you?
LANDON
I am good. Gran I have a question. What time is the will reading tomorrow?
GRANDMOTHER ELLA
It won’t be tomorrow. I called the attorney and put it off a few days because your sister has to go out of town.
10
Madison was in her bedroom taking off her clothes from a long day with family and friends. It was strange that her husband, Trenity, didn’t attend the service. He loved her family as his own. Madison sat on the edge of her bed and dropped her head into her hands. She sobbed uncontrollably.
Her continuous sobbing caused her to grow weak. She managed to lift herself up and walk to the bathroom. As she looked in the mirror at herself her mind pondered on Trenity and the burial of her grandfather. Trenity and Madison have been married for six years. Madison has always wanted children but has been unable to have them. Trenity owns a very successful pharmacy in Waynesboro.
Madison was putting on her nightly facial when she heard her doorbell ring. She ran her hands under some water to wash off the excess cream. When she reached the door she peered through the peephole and saw that it was Dwight. She opened the door and pulled Dwight close to her. They held each other for a few minutes without saying a word.
After releasing each other, Madison took Dwight by the hand and led him to the couch.
MADISON
You care for something to drink?
DWIGHT
Yes, whatever you got strong.
Madison walked over to the bar in the corner and poured two glasses of brandy. She passed one to Dwight as she took her seat.
MADISON
What brings you here?
DWIGHT
I came to check on my older sis before going to my room.
MADISON
Why are you staying in that hotel? You know that you could have stayed…
DWIGHT
You know Grandmother Ella don’t want me at her house.
MADISON
I wasn’t going to say that. I was extending the invitation here.
DWIGHT (smiling)
No. I am good in my room. Besides you and Trenity need your space. Where is he anyway? I didn’t see him at the service.
MADISON (getting up to refresh her drink)
I don’t know where he is. Maybe still at work.
DWIGHT
He did know that the service was today, didn’t he?
MADISON
Of course.
DWIGHT
Do you remember when we were younger and we used to talk about growing up and
starting families?
MADISON
Yeah. You wanted to marry Kelly Rowland, move to Arizona, have three kids and manage her career.
DWIGHT
Pretty wild thoughts, huh?
MADISON
Not really. You could have made it happen. Well without Kelly.
DWIGHT (taking a pillow off the couch and hitting Madison in the face)
You got jokes.
MADISON
I am serious.
Dwight got quiet for a minute. He rubbed the rim of his glass. Madison noticed that he was looking down.
MADISON
What’s wrong?
DWIGHT
Can I tell you something?
MADISON
You know that you can. What is it? What’s wrong?
DWIGHT
I am same gender loving.
MADISON (looking puzzled)
What does that mean?
DWIGHT
Huh? You do know what gender means right?
MADISON
Yes…Same gender loving…oh, oh (putting her hand on Dwight’s shoulder) You’re gay!
DWIGHT
You can say that.
MADISON
Oh wow.
DWIGHT
You want me to leave now.
MADISON
No…you are my brother. I love you no matter what.
DWIGHT
What do you think grandmother would say?
MADISON
Now that is a horse of a different color. Do you have to tell her?
By this time, Trenity entered the house. He saw me and Madison sitting on the couch. He came over and kissed Madison on the lips. He reached over and hugged me.
TRENITY
Long time no see Dwight. How have you been?
DWIGHT
Doing well. How about you? How is the pharmacy business?
TRENITY
All is good. How long are you going to be here?
DWIGHT
I think that I am leaving tomorrow.
MADISON
You can’t.
DWIGHT
Why not? Grandfather is buried and Grandmother doesn’t want me here. What other reason do I have to stay here?
MADISON
The reading of the will.
DWIGHT
I am not in the will. Grandfather told me that the day I arrived.
TRENITY
You can’t be serious?!
DWIGHT