Detective Kim sounds off again. “Ruzek, man, I think it would be best if we refrain from impropriety with this case. The victim’s family is out for blood.”
The victim’s family? Excuse me? I was under the impression that Rylee and Ruzek were the victims in this disaster. I am losing my patience and having a hard time keeping my composure, but I cannot make things worse for Ry. I have to sit here and be supportive no matter how difficult it proves to be. And it is proving itself fucking difficult. But I swear, if they don’t take this shit seriously, I will take this further up the food chain. Being Austin Black, MVP, has a few perks and I am not against using them if need be.
Ruzek looks to Rylee and something passes between them before they both stand up. She takes a step towards him and embraces him tightly. They whisper to one another before she takes the step back and he leaves the room. She sits down and looks at me with, if I am not mistaken, fear in her eyes. My heart shatters.
“OK, Ms. Ash, I have read the reports and the statements from Detective Ruzek and Micah Jones,” Detective Wilde says with compassion in her voice. Finally, someone with a modicum of respect for what Ry went through. “I need to ask you a few questions and then you can write out your statement and be on your way. Does that sound ok?”
Rylee gives a small nod. “Sure, I think I can do that. Please call me Rylee.”
Detective Wilde peppers Ry with questions about the months leading up to last night and seems content with all of her answers. Then she drops the big question.
“So, Rylee, can you tell me what happened last night?”
I am holding Ry’s hand below the table and hoping I can give her the strength she needs. She looks up at me before she begins.
“Please forgive me for what you are about to hear. I didn’t want to, Aus, I promise.”
What in the fuck did she have to do? Why would she think I would care? There is nothing in the world that would change my opinion of her. Does she not know how much I love her?
When she finishes explaining how Ryan showed up in her bed and ended up doubled over with a broken nose and bruised berries, I was awestruck. Not only do I not care that she had to lead him on, I am so damn proud of her that I want to pull her into me and never let go. I move our entwined hands over into my lap and clasp my free hand around them. I am telling her that I do not care about any of that. She seems to get the message and takes a deep breath before recounting the rest of her horrific night.
When she finishes her story, Rylee looks down and tries to regain her composure. Her body is shaking and her breathing is ragged. I cannot fucking believe what that asshole put her through. If he lives, it won’t be for long. I know that for sure, because I will end his miserable fucking existence.
Nobody fucks with my girl and gets away with it.
Chapter 36
Rylee
Austin has been eerily quiet since we left the police station. I would love to know what he is thinking. I want to ask if he is OK, if we are OK, but I am too chicken shit to get the words out. It felt like he was supportive throughout the interview, but maybe that’s where it ends for him. Maybe the realization that another man’s hands were on me is too much for him to take.
My phone chirps, signaling a new text, and I look down to read it. I have several new messages. I flip over to the message screen and start with the one from my big brother.
J: How did it go? You OK?
Me: Well it was kind of awful. I think Aus is freaked out. Hasn’t said a word since we left.
Ruzek: You did great. If you need me, I will be at the Hyatt. My place is covered in reporters.
Me: No hotel for you. Come to Austin’s. You can stay with us.
Bode: WTF? Are you OK? Call me ASAP.
Me: I’m OK. I’ll call you soon. Where are you?
After I finish answering the first round of messages, they begin pinging through again.
J: I can imagine. Just talk to him Ry. Plus if you think he is freaked out you should have heard Bode. LOL, I have never been scolded like that in my life.
Me: Yeah, I told him I would call him later.
J: You better.
Bode: You better. Sydney.
I can’t help giggling at the identical messages from J and Bode. I feel bad that I forgot to call Bode. I’m sure he found out from a news program of some sort. Knowing him, that did not sit well.
Ruzek: No I don’t want to impose. The dept is paying so no worries.
Me: Do you ever listen? NO HOTEL. YOU ARE FAMILY.
Ruzek: Did you just yell at me?
Me: Yes I did and I will again if you don’t listen.
Ruzek: Okay I will be over later. I want to give you guys some time.
Me: Cool. J is there so anytime.
Ruzek: See you in a few.
The truth is that, with Austin so distant, I want Ruzek around. He and I have a bond. It is not one I would have cared to forge the way we did, but it is what it is. He was there last night, so he understands better than anyone else and I feel like I need to be understood.
Looking up from my phone, I notice that Austin has driven well past the exit for our neighborhood and I feel compelled to ask what is going on.
“Where are we going, Aus?”
He glances at me sideways and I can see the pain radiating through his face. Great, it looks like Ryan got his wish after all. He reaches over and grasps my hand before sighing heavily.
“I want to take you somewhere beautiful. You deserve something beautiful. I don’t have the words, so I want to show you,” he says, tears forming in his beautiful eyes.
My heart drops and I think I finally understand. He is struggling with what happened. I knew it would affect him, but I didn’t realize how much. Maybe he loves me as much as he says.
“That sounds perfect, Aus, thank you.”
“I love you, Rylee,” he responds. A tear falls down his cheek, breaking my fragile heart.
I stroke my hand down his face, carefully wiping away the tear. “I love you, too, baby.”
He pulls off the interstate and onto a quiet beach road. A few miles later, he parks in a lot facing the ocean and gracefully climbs out of the truck to come around to my door. I take his hand and follow him onto the beach. We stand together, looking out over the desperately blue ocean. before he breaks the silence.
“I know this isn’t the most magical place, but you always seem to be happy near the ocean so I thought I would bring you here. We can’t go at home, thanks to the circling vultures. I am sorry if I handled today poorly, but I am having a hard time getting past what you went through. How strong you were and how useless I was, thousands of miles away.”
I start to speak, but he turns into me and looks down with eyes that match the ocean. He places a loving hand on each side of my face.
“When I think of how I could have lost you… ” He swallows hard. “It guts me, Ry. I was terrified this morning, and I went through every scenario until I heard your voice. Your voice was heaven to my ears, even though I could tell you were in pain. I can see the pain in your eyes, the pain you are trying to hide. I want you to know that you don’t have to hide, baby. I am here and I am not going anywhere. You can trust me. If you want to cry, we will cry. If you want to scream, we will scream. If you want to throw things, and be angry, then we will throw things and be pissed at the world. No matter what you want or need, I want you to know I’m here. This changes nothing. You are my world, Ry.”
As he finishes speaking, he pulls me into his chest and I lose it. He is all I have ever wanted, without knowing I wanted it. Of course J, Eric, and Bode will support me, and they love me, but this … this is different. This is so much more.
I wrap my arms around him, fisting my hands in the back of his shirt as I truly let it all go for the first time since the incident. He holds me as we sink down into the sand and I allow the cathartic tears to flow. I am safe here in his strong arms. He loves me, and right now that is more than enough. Austin is all I need
.
Chapter 37
Rylee
Austin and I spend a couple of hours just sitting on the beach, watching as the sunlight faded and the tide rolled in. We don’t talk much, just sit intertwined in silent support of one another. I ask about his trip to Texas, but he says that’s a subject better left for another day. I don’t object despite my growing curiosity.
Driving back to the house is just as surreal as it was leaving. There are still a few reporters hanging around, but there are noticeably less than earlier. I assume this means that the police made their statement. I will have to ask J about it.
Walking into the house, I realize that I will, at some point, have to return to my house. The thought sends chills through my body. I am consumed by the gory memories of my living room until I make my way through the entryway. Dani and J are making out like teenagers.
I come to an abrupt stop, causing Austin to run into me and question my behavior. I turn and nod towards the cute couple. I know he can see the devious plan in my eyes. J has caught Austin and me in this same position several times, so I feel it is only fair I give him the same treatment he gives me. Austin smirks and shrugs his shoulders, signaling that he is on board with my game.
I tiptoe forward and loudly clear my throat. “Ahem.”
Dani scrambles to the other the side of the couch, her delicate features shrouded in embarrassment. J, on the other hand, gives me an evil look before breaking into a knowing grin.
“So is this how we can expect you two to behave when we leave you alone?” I say mockingly.
J looks straight past me to Austin. “Come on, bro, you couldn’t have stopped her?”
Austin chuckles. “Not this time, man. Sorry, but it was nice to be on the other side this time.”
I can see Dani sinking further into the couch and I feel a tiny bit bad about rudely interrupting them. To make her feel less awkward, I wrap Austin’s arm around me and turn into him before laying a massive kiss on him.
“Are you kidding me?” Asks my big brother.
Breaking the kiss and looking back to J, I keep Austin’s arm around me. “Well, turnabout’s fair play, wouldn’t you say?”
J rolls his eyes at me before leaning as far across the couch as he can to reach for Dani. She shakes her head, clearly still uncomfortable, which makes me feel bad.
“Dani, I am sorry. Austin and I have been on the other end of this situation a couple of times and it was just too hard to pass up messing with J. We really don’t care,” I say with genuine sympathy.
J gets ahold of her hand to pull her in next to him and she seems to relax some. She finally makes eye contact with me.
“You really don’t care? I mean, you are paying me to take care of him and this is completely unprofessional. I would understand if you fire me,” she says with a shaky voice.
“Oh my God, Dani, no! I know how he is. Not that this will make things any better, but technically he is the one paying you. I just hired you. If he is happy, then it works for me.”
The look of shock on her face tells me that I probably should have kept the payment arrangements to myself. We all know he isn’t paying her for sexual services, but I did just imply it. Crap. J is giving me a death glare at this point, and I’m trying to think up a way to lighten the situation.
Dani speaks up, laughing. “Well, I guess he is getting his money’s worth.”
J pulls her against him and looks back to us. “So how did everything go?”
I had forgotten the horrors of the day until he brought it back up.
“It was fine. I gave my statement, and we got out of there. Did the detectives ever make a public announcement?”
As Austin and I sit down on the recliner, I see a look pass between J and Dani that makes me uncomfortable. Austin notices their silent exchange as well. His arms wrap around me, pulling me into him as I sit astride his lap.
J finally breaks the tension. “Yeah, they made a statement explaining the events that occurred last night. They also said that there would not be any charges brought against you. Ry…they also relayed the news that Ryan died a few hours ago, about the time you were making your statement.”
I feel like I have just been sucker punched. I don’t know how to feel about the news. I am happy there will be no charges, but I cannot believe that Ryan is dead. Dead. I killed him.
Without a clue how to express myself, I bury my head in Austin’s neck and quietly sob.
After what feels like an eternity, I hear J ask Austin.
“So I take it you didn’t know,” he says remorsefully.
I feel Austin shake his head. He squeezes me tight before he replies.
“Didn’t know and don’t care. In my opinion, he got exactly what he deserved. Good riddance.”
The anger and hatred in Austin’s voice makes me feel worse. There is nothing good in this situation. I stand up, ready to go upstairs and find a quiet place to reevaluate my feelings, when I hear a knock at the door.
Chapter 38
Rylee
I look through the peephole to be sure it is Ruzek. When I see his face, I throw open the door and practically tackle him. He catches me before dropping his things to the ground. I’m suddenly bawling.
“He’s dead, Ruzek. I killed him. How do I live with that?”
He guides me back into the house towards the confused faces of both J and Austin. He pushes me away with both hands on my shoulders before leaning down to force eye contact.
“Well, first you need to realize that it was either him or us. You did the right thing. Rylee Ash, you are my fucking hero. There is a very real possibility that I would be on a slab in the morgue if you hadn’t taken that shot.” He pauses gauging my reaction, which is nothing but a blank stare. He shakes my shoulders to get my attention focused back on him. “Rylee, I need you to look at me and I need you to hear me. You did what you had to do to survive. You saved us, Rylee. You remember that and you will be fine, I promise. It might take time, but you will be ok.”
Ruzek pulls me into an uncomfortable hug, no doubt concerned about Austin’s reaction. Austin is now standing next to us, jealousy and anger filling the air.
Ruzek leans into my ear and whispers, “I am going to let you go, but if you need me you I’m here. I have been where you are. I understand, Rylee, I do.”
With that, he frees me from our embrace and Austin pulls me into him before aggressively shaking hands with Ruzek.
The tension in the air is so thick that you could cut it with a spoon.
J pipes up. “So Ruzek, I hear my sister saved your ass.”
The sarcasm and light tone in J’s voice forces everyone to take a step back and crack a smile. Ruzek steps around Austin, walks into the living room, and sits down across from J after shaking his good hand.
Austin has a near-death grip on my waist as he guides me into the kitchen and away from the rest of our company. My mind is awash with memories from the shooting as I try to process the fact that, a little over twelve hours ago, I took a man’s life. And not any man … my former fiancé. Once upon a time I was in love with Ryan and we shared a bunch of great memories before things went sideways. I don’t know how to reconcile all those feelings with the knowledge that he is dead because of me.
After zoning out on my surroundings, I come back to see Austin staring at me with total unease. He sets me up on the counter exactly where he put me the day that Boss forced me into his life. His touch on my legs does not bring the tingling electricity it did that day, because my body is numb. My vision is blurry from the barrage of tears that will not end, but I can see he is upset. I hang my head, unsure why we are here—why he brought me in here away from my family.
With a calmness to his voice that betrays his body language, he finally breaks the palpable silence.
“Rylee, I know you are upset and I understand that, baby, I do. But what is going on between you and Ruzek? It was like you couldn’t wait to get away from me.”
His voice is ti
nged with irritation as he asks about Ruzek, which infuriates me. Doesn’t he understand that I wanted to talk to someone who understands what I went through, to someone who was there?
“Austin, good Lord. What the hell are you talking about? Nothing is going on between Ruzek and me, other than we could have both died last night. What do you want from me?”
He takes a deep breath as his palms press deeper into my thighs, to the point where the counter is embedding into the back of my thighs.
After a big huff, he replies. “The way you ran to him didn’t look like nothing. You looked comfortable in his arms. Tell me, Rylee, do you want him instead of me?”
I cannot freaking believe this is the conversation he wants to have right now, but the pain behind his eyes and in his words tell me all I need to know. He is insecure, which, given the state of our relationship lately, is understandable. Not to mention that I understand why he would consider me a flight risk. However, now is not the time for this conversation. Not on the heels of learning that I murdered my ex.
“Austin, I am not having this conversation with you. It’s ridiculous.” I try to hop off the counter before the marble becomes permanently lodged in my skin. As my feet hit the floor, he wraps me in his arms from behind. I try to break free of his strong grip, but that serves to fuel him on. “Austin, let me go. I can't do this right now.”
His embrace endures as his chin comes to rest on my shoulder. “Ry, baby, I am sorry. I love you, Ry. Just tell me what to do, please.”
His voice is a near whisper and I can hear anguish in every word. My fight to free myself ends and I relax into his hold, albeit still upset with him.
“Aus, I was not running to Ruzek. I was going to someone who I thought would understand how I feel. Someone who was there. Someone who doesn’t relish the fact Ryan is dead. I don’t know how to process all of this, but I know I am not happy that I killed him. I’m a murderer. How the hell am I supposed to live with that, huh? How? Can you tell me that?”
Loving Enough (The Enough Series Book 2) Page 15