D is for Dahl

by Roald Dahl

  Taboo ~ Roald Dahl risked the anger of critics with his fearless approach to writing. He was probably the first person to mention farting in a children’s book. He also wanted his readers to do daring things and encouraged parents not to be overprotective—Roald thoroughly approved of children walking on walls and climbing trees.

  Taxi drivers ~ Roald Dahl liked the idea of London taxi drivers “doing the knowledge”—learning about every single street in London before they could get a taxi licence. And taxi drivers liked him. They argued about who was to pick Roald up at Gipsy House, because he was always such an entertaining passenger. Roald’s own sense of direction was rubbish!

  Teacher, favorite ~ Just like Miss Honey in Matilda, Mrs. O’Connor was a brilliant teacher. She ran an English class at Roald Dahl’s school every Saturday morning, and her visit was the highlight of his week. Roald had always liked stories, but she gave him a real love of literature, and by the time he was thirteen, he was an insatiable reader and a good writer. Without Mrs. O’Connor, Charlie and Willy Wonka and James and Mr. Twit and the Grand High Witch and the BFG might never have been invented. Can you imagine anything worse? No, nor can we.

  T is for Teacher, favorite

  Teacher, red-faced ~ Roald Dahl was sent heaps of letters from schools, and in his replies he often chose to embarrass the teachers. His letters were always very friendly, beginning with something like: “Hello, Class Three and your gorgeous teacher Mrs. Smiley.” Then there was a poem. This one was sent to classes around the world:

  Dear children far across the sea,

  How nice of you to write to me.

  I love to hear the things you say

  When you are miles and miles away.

  All children, and I think I’m right,

  Are nicer when they’re out of sight!

  Tessa ~ Roald Dahl’s second daughter was born in 1957. She was originally named Chantal. . . until Pat and Roald spotted the rhyme (Chantal Dahl) and renamed her Tessa. Tessa has followed in her father’s footsteps and written books for both children and adults. She inherited Roald’s wicked sense of humor, too. (See Family Tree.)

  T is for Thwack!

  Theo ~ Roald Dahl’s only son was born in 1960. He ran an antique shop with Roald called Dahl & Son. Just like his father, he loves golf and snooker. (See Family Tree.)

  Thwack! ~ It was long and it was yellow and it curved round at the end like a walking stick. Throughout his school days, it was the one thing that Roald Dahl detested more than anything else—the cane. The most talented thwackers could place each stinging stroke directly on top of the one before, leaving a perfect single bruise across the bottom. Roald never agreed with the use of the cane, not even when he was older. He thought its use should be banned in schools. Now it is.

  “It wasn’t simply an instrument for beating you. It was a weapon for wounding.”

  —ROALD DAHL

  T is for Time

  Time ~ Roald Dahl didn’t like to waste a single minute. Once, when a hospital appointment was postponed, he threw a coat over his pajamas and spent the time visiting a nearby school instead.

  Titles ~ Roald Dahl always left the title of his book till last—when the whole story had been written.

  Toilet paper ~ Roald Dahl’s books are sold all over the world and appear in many different languages. The first Chinese edition was printed on paper so thin it looked like toilet paper.

  Toilet-seat warmer extraordinaire ~ At Repton School, the younger pupils acted as servants for the older boys. This often meant tidying their study or running errands. But Roald Dahl was given a really odd job to do. He sat on the toilet in a chilly outhouse, making sure that the seat was warm and toasty enough for the house prefect’s bottom! P.S. Roald would never have used the word toilet. He preferred to say lavatory or WC.

  Did You Know?

  The most expensive bathroom in the world is in Hong Kong and it cost $4.3 million! It is made of 24-carat gold. The ceiling is decorated with rubies, sapphires, and emeralds.

  T is for Treasure table

  Treasure table ~ This was the table in the Hut on which Roald Dahl kept his collection of special things.

  T is for Treats

  Treats ~ Treats were an essential part of Roald Dahl’s life. A treat could be a first new potato, broad bean, or lettuce from the garden, or a field mushroom or a superb chestnut. Sometimes he would even surprise someone with a plane ticket or a weekend away. A different kind of treat would be an unannounced visit to a school, causing chaos for the teachers and a great deal of fun for the children.

  Trolls ~ Roald Dahl’s mother told her children—and later her grandchildren—stories from Norway of trolls, witches, and strange mythical creatures that lived in dark pine forests. Does this remind you of a grandmotherly figure from any of Roald’s books?

  Trotter ~ A pig’s foot. Or a horse that trots. Or. . . there was something else, I’m sure. Oh, yes! Trotter is the surname of the greatest grower of giant peaches in children’s literature.

  T is for Tuck box

  Trunchbull, Miss ~ Can you think of a nastier character than Miss Trunchbull? (No, we didn’t think so.)

  Tuck box ~ At Roald Dahl’s boarding school, no pupil would be without their tuck box. This was a small wooden trunk (with a strong padlock) packed full of cake, biscuits, oranges, strawberry jam, chocolate, and other treats. One of Roald’s friends even kept a pet frog in his, which he fed slugs.

  T is for TV

  TV ~ Roald Dahl thought that too much television was bad. He felt that children would be far better occupied reading books. See what happens to TV-mad Mike Teavee in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

  Twitchy ~ Roald Dahl was once described as being “twitchy” in a TV interview. He agreed and said that this was something he had in common with the BFG, who couldn’t stand “doing nothing.”

  The Twits ~ This is a book best read while holding your nose. Mr. and Mrs. Twit are truly disgusting and magnificently foul—a real toe-curler!

  Upside down ~ In Roald Dahl’s books, many things are topsy-turvy. Mr. and Mrs. Twit cruelly force their monkeys to live upside down. The Minpins wear suction boots that allow them to walk up trees. And Roald once wrote a short story called The Upside Down Mice. This appeared in the Puffin Annual in 1974, and it’s about an old man named Labon who is pestered by mice in his house. Does this snippet remind you of any other Roald story you might have read?

  U is for Upside down

  When Labon came down the next morning and saw that there were no mice caught in the traps, he smiled but said nothing.

  He took a chair and put glue on the bottom of its legs and stuck it upside down to the ceiling, near the mousetraps.

  He did the same with the table, the television set and the lamp. He took everything that was on the floor and stuck it upside down on the ceiling. He even put a little carpet up there.

  The next night, when the mice came out of their holes, they were still joking and laughing about what they had seen the night before. But now, when they looked up at the ceiling, they stopped laughing very suddenly.

  “Good gracious me!” cried one. “Look up there! There’s the floor!”

  “Heavens above!” shouted another. “We must be standing on the ceiling.”

  Random Roald Fact

  He would have loved to have seen a ghost and to have written a ghost story. He tried, but never managed it.

  Vegetables ~ These were Roald Dahl’s favorite things to grow and eat—apart from chocolate, of course. He thought that broad beans and onions were scrumdiddlyumptious.

  A very important meeting ~ In 1942, C. S. Forester—an author of swashbuckling adventure stories—took Roald Dahl to lunch to interview him about his wartime experiences for the Saturday Evening Post. Roald was thrilled to be meeting such a famous author, and lunch got in the way, so Forester didn’t end up with any notes. When he got home, Roald put pen to paper and wrote a story that he sent to Forester. And what did the swashbuckling autho
r do? He sent Roald’s work to a magazine, and it was published just as Roald had written it! Roald was paid $1,000 and he gave ten percent of this to Forester’s agent. If the two men had not met, Roald might never have become a writer. . . . Imagine that! (Actually, don’t.)

  V is for The very young

  The very young ~ Roald Dahl thought that writing for very young children was one of the most difficult things to do. Of his own picture books, he was most pleased with The Enormous Crocodile and The Giraffe and the Pelly and Me.

  The Vicar of Nibbleswicke ~ The rights for this book were auctioned off to raise money for the Dyslexia Institute. A video recording of Roald—speaking from his hospital bed—was played at the auction. The proceeds from The Vicar of Nibbleswicke continue to support children with reading difficulties.

  Vices ~ According to Liccy Dahl his worst vice was smoking and his second was. . . smoking in bed!

  Virtues ~ Roald Dahl’s best qualities were his generosity and the ability to never be boring.

  Vocabulary ~ Roald Dahl was passionate about words and he would tell you that the best way to learn lovely words was to read as much as possible. He thought that nothing encouraged a love of words more than stories and reading, and he did his utmost to make sure that his own books were unputdownable. Written in 1930, when he was 14, this description of a teacher reveals Roald’s early talent for word magic:

  V is for Vocabulary

  “He’s a short man with a face like a fried elderberry, and a moustache which closely resembles the African jungle.”

  — ROALD DAHL

  Random Roald Fact

  He used to announce that meals were ready by shouting, “Nosebags on!” or, “Grub’s up!”

  Washington ~ Roald Dahl spent happy times working in the U.S. capital in the 1940s. He loved the social life, meeting many famous people—diplomats, movie stars, writers, and even presidents.

  Waterproof ~ When he was a very small boy, Roald Dahl would lie in the bath worrying that his skin would develop a leak and he would fill up with water and sink, or even die. When he discovered the truth, he marveled at his waterproof skin.

  Did You Know?

  Between 30,000 and 40,000 skin cells fall from your body every minute.

  Where the Wild Things Are ~ Maurice Sendak was lined up to illustrate the American edition of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but the success of his now classic picture book Where the Wild Things Are meant that he was too busy and too expensive for the job. What would his illustrations have looked like? We’ll never know. . . .

  W is for Whizzpops

  Whitbread Best Children’s Novel ~ In 1983, this was won by (drum roll, please. . . ) The Witches! Roald Dahl was utterly delighted to win, especially because he thought that the Whitbread Awards were the very best of the literary awards. He gave his prize money to the Oxford Hospice for sick children.

  Whizzpops ~ One of Roald Dahl’s dinner guests had peculiar table manners. After dessert, he would entertain everyone else by lighting his own whizzpops. (And if you don’t know what whizzpops are, you’ll have to read The BFG.)

  WARNING!

  Don’t try this at home.

  W is for Wine

  Did You Know?

  Whizzpopping is caused by the 200 or so bacteria in your large intestine that work on the carbohydrates not properly digested in your stomach. In breaking down these carbohydrates, they give off gases such as methane and hydrogen. Hydrogen sulphide is the gas responsible for the stinky smell.

  Wine ~ Roald Dahl was fascinated by wine as a young man and started collecting it in the late 1940s, when it wasn’t very expensive to buy. The cellar under Gipsy House held around 4,000 bottles and was just the right temperature (55°F, year-round). Roald had a special wooden chute built for big deliveries.

  Wine gums ~ Roald Dahl loved these candies and, as an adult, kept a large jar of them by his bed in case he was hungry in the night.

  W is for Witch balls

  Winkles ~ To enjoy these tiny creatures the Roald Dahl way, just follow these instructions:

  Collect periwinkles from rocky seaside places (while on a holiday in Tenby, South Wales, if you want to be just like Roald Dahl).

  Boil them.

  Pry each one from its shell using a bent pin.

  Pile on top of bread and butter.

  Gobble them up.

  Witch balls ~ Roald Dahl’s children had fifty different-colored glass balls hanging from their bedroom ceilings. These were witch balls. Roald said that if a witch came into the room she would see her reflection in the balls and flee at the sight of her own ugliness, never to return. When Ophelia heard the wind howling in the trees at night, she always thought it was a witch wailing in anger after seeing her ghastly reflection in the balls. . . .

  “The stories he told us always had a spooky edge.”

  —OPHELIA DAHL

  W is for The Witches

  The Witches ~ The ideas for The Witches came from all of the Norwegian fairy tales told to Roald Dahl by his Norwegian grandparents. This brilliant book, which won the Whitbread Award in 1983, has the most unusual ending.

  Witch’s Tree ~ Near Roald Dahl’s home, Gipsy House, there was a huge old beech tree known to locals as the Witch’s Tree. But Roald knew that the tree would suit a fox far better than a nasty old witch. So this is the home of the particularly clever and cunning Fantastic Mr. Fox. Sadly, disaster struck in 2004 and the 150-year-old tree fell and died in a storm.

  The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and Six more ~ In the title story of this collection, millionaire gambler Henry Sugar gives all his winnings to orphanages. And in real life, Roald Dahl was equally concerned about orphaned children—he was a patron of the Dr Barnardo’s charity, a foundation that works to improve children’s lives, for many years.

  W is for Wow!

  World Book Day ~ In 1999, Matilda was voted the most popular children’s book in a World Book Day survey involving 15,000 seven- to eleven-year-olds. Hooray!

  World-famous explorer ~ Roald Dahl was named after the first person to reach the South Pole. Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen was one of his father’s heroes.

  Wow! ~ Roald Dahl’s father lost his arm in a horrific accident when he was fourteen, but despite this he was an amazing woodcarver. He said the only real inconvenience was that he couldn’t cut the top off his boiled egg. He could, however, tie his shoes single-handed. See if you can do it!

  W is for Writing board

  Writing board ~ Roald Dahl designed and made a writing board that suited him perfectly. It was a shaped board covered with green baize (a type of felt material), which he fixed at exactly the right angle for him to rest his paper on and write in comfort. It was the only thing in the Hut that was cleaned regularly. Roald used an old clothes brush to sweep off the scraps of rubber that gathered after endless rubbings-out of his pencilled words. The rubbings would fall on the floor, which was never swept.

  Wrong number ~ When Roald Dahl’s first American publisher, Alfred Knopf, first called him to say he’d like to publish one of his books, Roald was so surprised, he almost hung up, thinking it was a joke caller. Phew!

  www.roalddahl.com ~ Roald Dahl has his own totally terrific website. You’d be a snozzcumber to miss it.

  X-rays ~ Roald Dahl’s insides were photographed many times, as doctors tried to find out exactly what was wrong with his back and work out how to make it better.

  Did You Know?

  X-rays were discovered by German physicist Wilhelm Roentgen, almost by accident, in 1895. When the rays pass through objects (e.g., the human body), some substances are more resistant to them than others (e.g., bones). If you put a piece of film behind the object you are X-raying, the bits that the rays don’t pass through form a shadow on the film.

  Yawning ~ (Isn’t it funny how just reading that word makes you want to open your mouth wide and y-a-a-a-w-n?) Roald Dahl hated being bored. (Maybe this is why his books are never boring!) He was very bad at stifling his yawns
when he found things dreary and dull. A TV presenter once noticed him yawning during a live interview and asked if he was bored. Never one to mince his words, Roald answered, “Yes.”

  Yellow paper ~ Roald Dahl wrote all of his books on American yellow legal pads, which were sent to him from New York. Perhaps this is why yellow was his favorite color.

  Yellow pencils ~ Roald Dahl always wrote in pencil and only ever used a very particular kind of yellow pencil with an eraser on the end—a Dixon Ticonderoga 1388-2 5/10, medium. Before he started a writing session, Roald made sure he had six sharpened pencils in a jar by his side. They lasted for two hours before needing to be resharpened.

  Zippfizzing ~ This is the BFG’s word for the nightly journeys the bad giants take to countries all around the world to “guzzle human beans.”

  Zoo ~ Next time you go to the zoo, keep your parents away from escaped rhinoceroses, or you could end up like James.