The Thief of Dunmire and the Tear of Astra (The League of Sinister Means Book 1)

by H. K. MacTavish

  “You’re going to suffer!” Bernice hisses.

  “You have no proof I did anything!” I say.

  “With my parents here, I can’t take any chances,” Blaise says. “You’ll get your chance to prove yourself in a couple of days. If you are not more forthcoming by then, well, I hope you and your new cellmate become good friends. Trials can be lengthy so you two will be spending some time together.”

  “Do I get my reward?” Bernice asks.

  “Of course,” Blaise says. “Come with me, I’ll square away what I owe you.”

  “Wait! Your highness!” I call out. “He’s only after the money!”

  “Get back!” a guard yells, hitting the bar with his metal fist. I jump back.

  Blaise and Bernice walk up the stairs, both acting like best friends. The guards all head up as well aside from the two that were down here when I first walked down here as a free woman.

  I turn around and the other prisoner is already eating from the plate of food.

  “Better save some for me,” I say.

  “There’s plenty here,” she says. “It’s a good thing that you brought extra down here.”

  “Yes. A good thing,” I say.

  “Is it true?”

  “No,” I say.

  Actually it’s all true. And, I’m not as screwed as they think I am, or as screwed as I think I am. Yeah, being tricked and locked in a dungeon makes me melodramatic. My heart is racing and in full on panic mode but I know I’m not as screwed as my heart thinks I am.

  These cells are old and I bet the locks are just as old. When the guard hit the bars I saw some rust flake off. I bet Blaise hasn’t had any work done in this dungeon in quite some time. Why would he? Most criminals are held in town.

  Well, I can’t wait here for days and once I break out it won’t be long before the heroes start hunting for me. That is going to be my biggest problem.

  Okay, so once I break out of here, I take out those two guards, and make my way back upstairs and then…what? I might wait until night when most of the heroes are asleep. No. Now is the best time to break free. All of the heroes will be in the feast hall dining with King Stavros and Queen Iona. There might be a couple of heroes out and about, but most will be eating while I steal the Tear of Astra. In an hour, I can break free, walk up among the servants…is that a barred window I see?

  I could sneak out through that. Get outside, scale the wall…in the light? No Corvina. That’s a stupid plan. Even if you get past the bars, which, you’re skinny but not that skinny, you’ll be seen by the guards on the wall. No, you need to blend in with the others.

  But Blaise picked me out of a crowd of servants. He knows what I look like. I need a place to hide. Getting upstairs won’t be hard. Work out the problem Corvina; the one inept guard that stands at the top of the steps won’t be any problem. And there are no guards in the kitchen. While the feast is underway I can get to the kitchen, create a distraction on the first floor, sneak up to the second floor, get to the storage room, get my gear, and hide there until night. Yeah. But, they’ll check out where I was sleeping, if they haven’t already. My gear might not even be there anymore.

  What am I saying? There will be another feast tonight. When Blaise gives that glass bauble to Melinda the heroes will be just as distracted. But I don’t know when that will be.

  The small windows let me know what time it is, but I can’t tell when the heroes are going to have their feast tonight.

  Now is the best time to steal the Tear of Astra, isn’t it? It is light out now but the heroes are all preoccupied and…is that a crack of thunder I hear? That’s right! There was a storm coming. It will be dark as night, if I’m lucky. If not, I’ll just have to take my chances.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I say to my cellmate.

  “But…how?” the woman asks. “And I’m facing trial. I don’t want to become a fugitive.”

  “You also don’t want to be punished. You heard Blaise. Kincaid will spank you in front of everyone or Veronica will have you in stocks,” I say. “Do you want to be humiliated like that? Because Blaise isn’t going to think your innocent. He’s the judge and you heard him just now. You’re a thief and will be dealt with.”

  She grimaces and looks really scared. That’s good. I need her scared to become my accomplice. I need her to believe that she can’t go to the heroes.

  “You…you think Blaise really means to do that to me?”

  “Oh, don’t worry,” I say, gently touching her arm. “I’ll take care of you. But, I will need your help once we get up to the kitchen. Can you do that?”

  “I…yes. I can do that.”

  Excellent! I have a helper. Suck on that, Mary! I can make friends too! Granted it is through coercion and threats of violence, but I can do it!

  I pull out my lock picks, because patting down a servant won’t reveal anything hidden away, obviously. I guess the heroes thought that since I was just some lookout or assistant to the Thief of Dunmire, why would I have lock picks hidden away on me?

  I look to the guards and they are looking at me every so often. When they look away to talk to one another I slowly reach out past the bars and start to work on the tumblers inside the lock.

  I can hear the tumblers clicking. One, two, this is going quicker than I had imagined. Come on Corvina, work those fingers!

  Click. The cell door is unlocked. I put the picks back into their secret pocket under the sleeve of my dress and look to the guards.

  “Wait here a moment,” I say. The woman just nods at me. She looks half excited, half scared. She clearly has never done anything like this before.

  I have. Many times.

  I creep to the wall and keeping low I stalk my prey. Quick enough to close the distance as soon as possible, but not so fast that I make any noise to alert them to my presence.

  “Well, at least we’ll eat well tonight,” the guard closest to me says.

  “Yeah. With the king here, we’ll all eat like kings,” the other says with a laugh.

  I step right behind the closest guard, pull his own blade from the scabbard slowly all without him noticing. He shifts his weight, notices that the scabbard is empty and places a hand to where the hilt of his blade should be.

  I rip his helmet off and knock him over the side of the head with the hilt of his own sword. He falls fast and loud. Fortunately there isn’t anyone around to hear him; other than his friend. And speaking of his friend, he is now alone.

  “You! Stop!”

  Guards always bark orders at me like I’m some dog. What? Am I going to just stop and say, oh, you’re right! Let me walk right back into the cell! Loser.

  I leap back deftly from his attack. He tries to stab at me over and over. I bounce back again and again.

  “Stand still!”

  He really doesn’t get the whole, I don’t have to obey him, does he?

  “Wow, are you slow. Not really experienced holding your sword, are you? No wonder you’re guarding the dungeons.”

  “So it is you,” he says, swiping at my leg. I kick off the ground, doing a fancy summersault in the air, kicking him in the face as I spin.

  It looks fantastic.

  He moans and is staggered for a moment. I land next to a crumbling piece of wall. I take that moment to pick up a rock. He lunges at me and I throw the rock, right into his nose. Blood flies everywhere. A quick cut across his shoulders and his armor is loosened just a bit.

  “Hey!” he says, his eyes blinking trying to stay open. It is easy to roll behind him, rip off his helmet and take him out like his buddy.

  “That was amazing,” my cellmate says, stepping out of the cell.

  “I know,” I say. I was pretty amazing just then, wasn’t I? “Help me move them into this cell. They won’t be out for long.”

  We only have a few minutes before they wake up. We each take and a leg and drag both guards into the cell. I remove their pouches and their keys and slam the door shut.

  “Here,”
I say, tossing my new friend both pouches of money.

  “Thanks,” she says.

  “I’m here to help,” I say. Let’s ignore the fact that she’s really in here because of me.

  “You said you needed help in the kitchen?”

  “Yeah. I’m going to need a few supplies. Whatever you do, just don’t make eye contact with anyone up there. Move about like a busy servant and everyone will treat you like one.”

  “Okay,” she says. She’s nervous. I would be too if it was my first law breaking adventure. But she’s willing. The money helps. Sure, I freed her, and sure, she doesn’t have a lot of choices in life at this point. But everyone has a bit of greed in them. Every little bit helps if I’m going to get to the second floor, and I need her to get me some supplies from the kitchen.

  “Now, wait here for a minute. There is a guard beyond the door upstairs that I have to take care of. Then I’ll come back down, get you, and you can get the supplies that I need,” I say, but then I spot some manacles hanging on the far wall. “Grab two pairs of those manacles. We’ll need them.”

  Molasses and Heels

  Someone got themselves imprisoned, to hear the gossip among the servants. Sounds like it just happened. The prince was seen with someone matching Bernice’s description so I’m betting Corvina is the unlucky soul that got imprisoned. So, it’s now or never, is it? It’s not even dark yet. My sister is so impatient.

  Well, I better get down there and make sure she’s okay.

  I walk back down to the first floor at a casual pace. No need to make myself look different from everyone else. The heroes seem at ease. Guards aren’t looking at me. The threat is contained, at least as far as the heroes are concerned.

  Or so they think.

  Most thieves would just leave their partners in a cell while they make off with all the loot.

  Good thing I love my sister. Time to do a little jailbreaking and…what?

  Whoa! Everyone is fleeing the kitchen. Guards are looking at the flood of people running out. There are so many I can’t see who is who. Guards are shoving me and other servants to the side to make room. Everyone is asking questions. Where is Corvina? Did she get out? Did I miss her?

  “What’s going on?” a guard asks.

  “Some sort of attack,” a man says, his eyes watering.

  Ah, pepper powder. Easy to make in a kitchen and it disperses quickly. But, do they know what they got hit with?

  “Is it a spell?” a guard asks.

  “I…I don’t know,” one of the chefs says.

  The answer to that question is no, they don’t know what they got hit with.

  “Come on! Let’s check it out!” another guard says.

  They march on down, four of them. Oh, I hope my sister was in that mob that ran out. I’ll just hang back here by the corner and spy on the goings on.

  Blaise is at the door of the great hall, speaking with a guard. My guess is he’s being told it’s nothing. Otherwise he should be taking a step out of the feast hall. He looks concerned, but not willing to take action. He’s not even going to check the dungeon? He turns his head and apparently his father is looking at him from the big table. Yeah, I can see through the crack in the door that Blaise is making his father upset. I’ll step closer, see if I can hear what he’s saying.

  “…okay. Just a little accident…” I hear him, barely, over the tumultuous voices of everyone else before he turns back inside. I should head upstairs. But…what if my sister needs help? I should take a peek. Just to make sure. I’m sure she’s fine but I need to make sure.

  The guards are heading back upstairs.

  “It’s all clear, but just, let it air out a bit,” one of the guards says, wiping his eyes.

  Now’s my chance! I step carefully around the servants, into the hall. The guards are all talking amongst themselves and questioning some of the staff, the chefs mostly. I hear a story of how everyone started to choke and their eyes started to water. It soon became unbearable and they were forced to flee.

  Yup, pepper powder. Which means Corvina is probably out since she knows how to make a good batch of pepper powder. I just need to make sure though.

  I take one last look at the guards and see that they are not looking at me. I dart past them and now I’m in the stairway, heading down the steps, quiet as a mouse.

  Some food is scattered on the floor along with trays and a few tankards and plates and stray pieces of silverware. No bodies. Well, no one died trying to get out. That’s good. We pride ourselves on our ability to steal an item and get out. Any fool can charge in and take valuables from corpses. We’re not raiders. We’re thieves.

  Now, the dungeons are to the left…this hall here. I walk carefully down, keeping my ears open for anything, blades pulled out of their scabbards, breathing, a footstep.

  Nothing.

  Wait. There is something down the hall. Metallic rustling? What could be making that noise?

  I hurry down the hall and turn around the corner and…see a guard coming to. He’s been knocked unconscious, his helmet in the corner of the hall. His legs are clapped in irons as are his arms, behind his back. He has a gag around his mouth to dampen his voice.

  As for voices not dampened I hear men’s voices rising from beyond the door this guy was guarding. So, my sister did get out. I knew she would. I just needed to make sure. Now I’ll just head back upstairs and play my part. Maybe I’ll grab a bit to eat while I’m here. It’s so rare to get a king’s feast in my belly.

  No Mary! Concentrate! Focus! God, why am I so easily distracted?

  I’m out of the corridor and into the kitchen when I hear a distinct clicking. Only one woman in the castle wears heels that high.

  Veronica!

  Did she see me come down? Maybe she’s just coming down to investigate. I should hide.

  “I saw you come down here,” I hear her say.

  Shit!

  She’s almost in sight! I race to the other side of the kitchen, bend down and start to pick up some silverware.

  “There you are,” she says. She has this arrogant smile on her face. God, how I’d love to wipe that look off her painted face.

  “My lady! What are you doing here in the kitchens?” I ask.

  “A better question might be, what are you doing here?”

  Being helpful, obviously.

  “Picking up some of the mess,” I say.

  “The guards haven’t given the order to resume your duties down here. But, you knew it would be safe, didn’t you? You know what was used. I think it’s time for you to go back into your cell,” she says.

  “Cell? Back? What do you mean?”

  “You know exactly what I mean.”

  I do, actually. And no, you have the wrong sister. I mean, come on! We look alike, sure, which we use to our advantage but seriously, we’re not twins!

  “I don’t understand,” I say, standing up. I’ll smack her so hard in the face she’ll be seeing stars!

  “Whatever your plan is, it has failed,” she says, pointing at me. “Blaise was wrong about you. You’re not the Thief of Dunmire’s little helper. You’re the thief herself.”

  Wow. Clearly I’ve underestimated Veronica for putting all that together.

  “You don’t think that,” I say. She steps closer to me.

  “Oh?”

  “You’re here by yourself. If I am the Thief of Dunmire, then I’m dangerous. You’d be here with all the other heroes to arrest me.”

  “I can handle you myself, sweetie. I’ll put you back in the dungeon where you belong. By myself,” Veronica says as she walks closer to me.

  “You’ve been sitting on your ass for too long Veronica,” I say. “It’s made you think you’re a hero.”

  She smiles as I take a swing at her. She catches my arm, twists my arm to the side, one hand…goes between my legs! Bad touch! Bad touch!

  I’m lifted up slightly, spun around, and…I’m flying? Me? The hell?

  I slam into the floor an
d skid into some forks left cooking over the fire. They spin around and nearly burn me.

  The fuck just happened?

  “I’m not playing the hero, thief. I am a hero,” Veronica said.

  Who taught Veronica how to fight? Wait. She barely moved, she was like a wall…dwarves! They taught her how to fight. Well, can’t disparage dwarves for making a bit of coin by teaching us humans. After all, how do you think I learned all about making little devices like my dwarven bar bender? Oh, well, I guess it is in the name, isn’t it? Regardless! I will not underestimate her again.

  I get to my feet, smiling. Yeah, I’m hurt a little, but I’m not going to let her know that.

  “Okay. So you’ve been taught a little on how to fight from the dwarves, have you,” I say.

  “You picked up on that, did you?” Veronica says, a little surprised. “You’ll find that I can fight, more than a little. Surrender now or I’ll put you in your cell bloody and bruised.”

  I don’t say anything. I let my fists do the talking. I punch towards her face, feinting. She tries to grab my arm again like her good dwarven training teaches her but since I’m just faking it I pull back before she can grab me. Her arms are all away from my true target, and I land a good blow low into her gut.

  She steps back with a gasp. Not hard enough to knock the wind out of her but enough to prove how high and mighty she isn’t.

  “I can fight to. I am the Thief of Dunmire, after all,” I say smiling.

  Yeah, I can be arrogant to.

  “Good. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a good fight against a villain,” she says.

  I lunge at her and she blocks my blows with her forearms. Left, right, left. I can’t get a blow in. I hesitate and she twists around, throwing me to the ground. I roll away and to my feet before she can even take a step.

  “Afraid?”

  Maybe a little.

  “Not even a little,” I say.

  “Then what are you waiting for?” Veronica asks. Waiting for? I hit you in the gut and you can’t take me down! God, I want to smack her so bad!

  I approach her, hands raised in a fighting position. I jab at her a couple of times, quickly and she shifts around. She punches me in the side. I can see it coming a mile away but it’s the only way I can get her face exposed. I take the hit like a champ and I swing as hard as I can right in the side of her face! Finally!