The Thief of Dunmire and the Tear of Astra (The League of Sinister Means Book 1)

by H. K. MacTavish

  “I’ll be back in a minute. I have to go and collect something at the barracks.”

  “Fine, fine,” the man says reading over the list. “This will take me more than a minute to gather together.”

  “I have the money if you are curious,” I say, patting my pouch.

  “Oh, didn’t think that. Just organizing it in my head is all. Don’t you worry about a thing,” the man says.

  I smile and walk out. I head back to the barracks to collect my sword.

  “Leaving so soon? Before the big announcement?” a guard asks me as he gets my blade.

  “Yeah. My mom is waiting for me and it looks like the announcement hit a snag. I was planning on leaving today after the announcement, but things didn’t really go as planned.”

  It’s always good to stick to your story. Make it consistent.

  “All right,” the guard says. He hands me the blade, I sign my name to a paper, and off I go.

  The wagon is loaded up in no time. Some young men help load all the supplies while the old man supervises. He then throws the tarp over the load and I hand him his money. He smiles as I tip him and he wishes me a good day and I say the same to him.

  It looks like this is it. I’m finally out of here! I start to ride down the street and approach the gate…

  “Hold!” I hear from behind me.

  What? No. I’m not caught. Not now!

  “What?” I ask, as innocently as I can manage.

  “That’s her!” Bernice yells, pointing a finger at me.

  Bernice! How are you not locked away? I thought I laid it on pretty thick about how despicable you are. Wait! Did I tell too tall of a tale? Shit!

  “Where are you going?” a knight asks me.

  “Home,” I say. I’m nervous. Stop Mary! They’ll believe Bernice! Stay calm. Take a breath. You don’t have anything illegal on you right now.

  “Without seeing the prince give the princess the Tear of Astra?” Bernice asks.

  “Everyone is…well, you saw last night,” I say to the knight. “Prince Blaise…everyone seemed concerned for him but I don’t know why. And poor Melinda. She had something in her hair. And Lady Veronica…” The image of the tar monster pops into my head. Gah! Don’t laugh. I’m literally pinching myself to not laugh. “She’s…well…” Don’t do it Mary! Ow! I’m pinching myself harder. A tear falls from my cheek and I wipe it away. “It’s just too tense and I was supposed to leave today anyway and…and…” I sniffle a bit and dry my eyes.

  “I understand,” the knight says.

  “She’s faking it!” Bernice yells.

  I am. But who’s going to believe you?

  “If you think I’ve stolen something you are free to search my wagon,” I say.

  “What is back here?” the knight asks.

  “Stuff for my mom,” I say, a little bit more cheerful than before. “I’ve been saving money for her. The man at the general store there,” I say, pointing to the store where the man that I gave money to is still standing outside watching the scene I’m in the middle of. “I just bought all of this from him.”

  “Go and ask Ralph if her story is true,” the knight says.

  “Yes sir,” the guard replies. The knight takes the tarp off and looks over it.

  “That is her! She’s the one…” Bernice complains.

  “The one what?” I ask.

  “The one that stole the Tear of Astra!” Bernice says.

  “What?” I ask, feigning ignorance. “Someone actually stole it?”

  “They did,” the knight says.

  “Search her!” Bernice orders.

  “Fine,” I say, hopping down. A plan just popped into my head. “If you want to search me and my wagon, that’s fine, but you have to search him and his home!” I say to Bernice.

  “We’ve already searched him….”

  “If he is going to accuse me of this crime, it is only fair that he suffers through what I have to! Why do I have to be standing out here, accused of stealing the Tear of Astra?” I ask.

  “That is a good idea,” a woman says, riding up behind the knight.

  “Highness,” the knight says bowing low.

  “Jeni…Princess Melinda,” I say.

  “I’ll search her,” Melinda says, dismounting from her horse and handing the reins to a guard. She has all her hair again. I guess someone was nice to Bridget.

  “Ralph says the wagon was empty when he loaded it up except for some feed and the tarp,” the guard sent to the general store says on his return.

  “Good. While I search her send some men to search Bernice’s place,” Melinda says to the knight.

  “But…but…” Bernice protests.

  “I’m not in a trusting mood, Bernice,” Melinda says. “Now, Mary, hold out your arms.”

  “Come on,” the knight says to Bernice, shoving him along.

  “All right! All right!” Bernice whines.

  I would love to stay and see them find the fake Tear of Astra on Bernice with all his gold gone. That, would be quite the story he has to tell.

  “Nothing,” Melinda says smiling. “As I figured.”

  “Thanks,” I say.

  “Since you don’t have the Tear of Astra, I have something for you,” Melinda says, pulling out an emerald ring. “From Bridget.”

  Oh my god, oh my god! She loves me! She really does. Sweet, sweet Bridget.

  “Thank you,” I say. “I don’t have anything for her.”

  “I think you’ve probably given her something already,” Melinda says with a smile. Ha! I wish. “She has one just like it. The incantation is on the inside. You can speak with her whenever she wishes.”

  What? A magic ring? For talking to my love? This is the best present I’ve ever gotten! What’s the word? What’s the word? Loqui.

  “So you won’t have a quiet trip back home,” Melinda says. “Good journey.”

  “Thanks. And…I hope you get the Tear of Astra back for your wedding announcement,” I say.

  “Oh, I’m already engaged to Blaise. This was just…a public ceremony.”

  “Congratulations,” I say. Melinda smiles and kisses me on the cheek.

  “Be safe,” she says before turning and mounting her horse. She rides off, no doubt to Bernice’s place.

  And, I should get going. I have a cranky sister to collect. I wish she was here to see this. See Corvina! See what you can get away with when you are cordial and polite? I got a magic ring from a princess and wish for a good journey from another princess for helping to steal the Tear of Astra! Heroes can be so gullible.

  With the princess kissing you on the cheek you don’t spend a lot of time getting through the front gates. The guards smile and just wave me through. I smile back and take a leisurely pace down the road. It could have gone worse. They could have questioned why my wagon was super reinforced. Everyone was so focused on what the wagon was carrying to look at the wagon itself.

  The little dirt path isn’t too far away. It is out of sight of the tower and the guards along the wall. We checked.

  I turn down the old road and snake my way back through the woods. Where is Corvina? She was supposed to be here. I dismount, tying the horses to a tree. Damn it Corvina, where are you?

  I look all around the woods and I don’t see her. At all. Well, if she’s run off I’ll just run back and into Bridget’s arms. I’ll do it! I will!

  “There you are!” Corvina says. I jump up and place my hand over my rapidly beating heart.

  “Corvina!”

  “You are late,” she says.

  “I was searched,” I say.

  “By whom?”

  “Melinda.”

  “Melinda? She was at the gate?”

  “So was Bernice.”

  “What?” Corvina asks.

  “They are searching Bernice’s place now,” I say with a smile.

  “Oh. So…oh,” Corvina says, smiling back at me. “He’ll have some explaining to do when they find the Tear of Astra and the
crown jewels in his basement.

  “Wait? The crown jewels?”

  “Yeah. What did you think was in the bag?”

  “I…well…I didn’t think you’d get away with the crown jewels!”

  “Of course I did,” Corvina says. “Oh, and I owe you something.”

  “Oh, you don’t owe me…ow!”

  She hit me! On the arm!

  “What was that for?” I ask.

  “For risking our plan with Princess…”

  “Don’t!”

  “Don’t what?”

  “Be crude!” I say.

  “Wow. You are really enamored with her. She’s a hero,” Corvina says.

  “I know!” I say.

  “You’re a villain,” Corvina says.

  “I know!” I say.

  “How is that going to work?”

  “I…I don’t know!” I say.

  Maybe I can corrupt her. Just a little bit. Maybe.

  “So, what, you thought she’s pretty and…curvy…and you wanted to sleep with her and live forever in that room of hers?”

  Maybe! Shut up!

  “Well, I can buy some land and be a noble now and invite her over…”

  “And how did you get that wealth Mary?”

  “Well, Mary…”

  “Don’t!”

  “What…Mary?” I ask. If she wants to annoy me, I’ll annoy her.

  “You know I hate that name.”

  “Mary? That’s your name,” I say.

  “No, that is your name,” Corvina says.

  “And what is Corvina?”

  “Exotic! Exciting!”

  “Someone else’s name?” I ask. She scowls at me.

  “I know what you’re doing,” Corvina says.

  “Oh?”

  “I’m just looking out for you,” Corvina says.

  “Well, as it turns out I think Melinda interpreted my skulking about as me trying to get up Bridget’ skirt. So it worked out in the end,” I say.

  “Did you at least sleep with her?”

  “Well…no…”

  “Ha!” Corvina says.

  “What, ha?” I ask.

  “So you’ve got all that passion and lust all bottled up inside of you!”

  “No!”

  Of course I do! And now that you’ve brought it up I can’t get my mind off of it. Ass.

  “You can think on that on the long ride home about risking our necks because you saw a pretty princess that liked you,” Corvina says. “Now come on. Bring the wagon over here. We need to load it up.”

  I really want to see Bridget now. I…wait. I can talk to her. We’re together. Her ring is on my finger. Right now. I take the reins from the tree and ride slowly over after Corvina. She’s far enough away, she won’t hear me.

  “Loqui,” I whisper.

  The emerald glows faintly and there is a little tiny green dot of light in the center. It’s hard to see. Good.

  ‘Mary?’

  ‘Bridget? I recognize your voice,’ I say.

  ‘It is you! What did you do to poor Kincaid?’

  ‘Kincaid? What do you mean? There were barely any patrols out there,’ I say.

  ‘Hold on a second.’

  There is a bit off the path that Corvina and I travel down and I turn the wagon around and tie the horses off once more when we get to where Covina has piled up the loot. We quickly unload the supplies I bought in Hammerheim off to the side.

  ‘He wanted to know how I knew about the patrol set up. I said I could see the lights from the torches and lanterns,’ Bridget says.

  ‘You have to be careful!’

  ‘I know. I love that you care about me,’ Bridget says.

  ‘Of course I care about you,’ I say.

  ‘Ah! Hold on. My brother wants to talk to me,’ Bridget says.

  “So, what happened to Blaise?” I ask.

  Corvina laughs.

  “That good? Come on! Tell me!” I beg.

  “I glued his balls to the floor,” Corvina says.

  What? Really? How did Corvina manage that? I can’t help but laugh.

  “Really? That must have been humiliating,” I say.

  “Especially when I glued his hands to his butt,” Corvina says.

  And how did she manage that? Wow, I wish I had seen that.

  With the supplies all out of the wagon we start to load up the gold. The loot is still heavy.

  “What did you do to Kincaid?” I ask.

  “Spanked him good. I thought you were going to handle more heroes,” Corvina says.

  “I did. But, I was…busy,” I say.

  “Sure,” Corvina says.

  “With work!”

  “What? Were Bridget’s laces too tight for you?”

  “Ass,” I say.

  “Don’t hate me for spreading the truth,” Corvina says.

  “It’s not the truth,” I say.

  It kinda is though.

  This is heavy. Poor horses. You’ll have to carry all of this. At least the wagon is reinforced to carry this. I’d like to not break down in the middle of the road with all this gold waiting to be taken.

  ‘My brother won’t say what happened to him,’ Bridget says.

  ‘Do you really want to know?’

  ‘Yes, I think. Should I know?’ Bridget asks.

  ‘No. But I’ll tell you if you want,’ I say.

  “No. I’m better off not knowing,’ Bridget says.

  ‘If your brother and his friends are going to be heroes they have to know that there are risks. Some of us villains are good at what we do.’

  ‘I wish you would capture me,’ Bridget says.

  ‘If I were to go back, you would be the treasure that I would steal,’ I say.

  ‘Oh?’ Bridget asks.

  ‘Sneak into your bedchamber. Tie you up and carry you out the window to a carriage below that I’d have waiting,’ I say. ‘And my sister won’t be around.’

  ‘Did you tell her about us?’

  ‘She discovered it on her own. She doesn’t approve. Your brother may say I’m a villain but my sister says you’re a hero, with the same condescending tone I bet. She’ll try and take the ring or sabotage our love in some way,’ I say.

  I’ll have to keep Bridget a secret from my sister. It will make things go easier.

  ‘So we both have to keep this a secret,’ Bridget says.

  ‘Absolutely,’ I say.

  ‘A secret romance with a thief,’ Bridget says in a sultry voice.

  “You seem preoccupied,” Corvina says.

  ‘Shit,’ I say

  ‘What?’

  ‘My sister has noticed I’m preoccupied,’ I say.

  ‘My brother keeps looking at me weirdly too. Women don’t just sit there in silence smiling I guess,’ Bridget says.

  ‘Not often,’ I say.

  ‘We should talk later,’ Bridget says.

  ‘I can’t wait,’ I say.

  “Loqui,” I say with a cough. Did it work? Yup, the little light in the gem is out.

  “What was that?” Corvina asked.

  “Hmm?”

  “I thought you just said something,” Corvina says to me.

  “Nope,” I say.

  “You really are preoccupied,” Corvina says, looking at me like I’m guilty of something.

  “I’m just thinking of all the treasure we’ve got,” I say.

  Just not the golden kind.

  “Well don’t look like you just came into a fortune. We don’t need people asking questions until we get this into a safe place.”

  “And you’re not looking excited?”

  She’s not. I just don’t feel like being the only one who looks excited.

  “I’m not,” she replies. “Am I?”

  “A little,” I say. It’s a lie.

  “Well…we both need to do better,” Corvina says.

  “Just say we’re excited to see our mother,” I say. “I mean, I know my mom isn’t your mom…”

  “N
o, that’s a good enough story,” Corvina says. “We are sisters after all. Now, help me pack this in tight.”

  I snort as I giggle suddenly.

  “What’s so…oh my god, grow up!”

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I say. Corvina looks at me. “Seriously though, how tight do you want me to pack it in?”

  “Please, stop being a twelve year old!”

  “Please stop making everything sound sexual,” I say.

  “Normal people don’t react like this,” she says.

  “You’ve been doing this the whole time, haven’t you?”

  “No. I have not. Because I haven’t been surrounded with a twelve year old sister!” Corvina says.

  “Okay, okay. So, what should we do with the loot?”

  “Pack it in…load it up…” she says, but I just snicker. “Load up the wagon! God!”

  I laugh as I help her load the wagon up. I don’t want to piss her off too badly. We do have a long ride ahead of us.

  I’m sweating heavily by the time we finish loading all the loot onto the wagon. It’s at least still morning. I was afraid we’d be stuck here until noon. We put all the other goods that I bought from the general store over the gold and jewels and then we pull a tarp over that. Corvina slides in under the tarp while I climb onto the driver’s seat. Soon the wagon is under way.

  “Here,” Corvina says handing me a blanket wrapped bundle.

  “What is it?”

  “Open it,” she says.

  It’s…one of the royal jewels! The queen’s tiara! Specifically the White Queen’s Crown! It is gorgeous! It is white gold with diamonds and sapphires and a single ruby over the forehead. Oh, it is so glittery!

  “Oh! Thank you!” I exclaim.

  “Here,” Corvina says. I hand it back to her.

  “Yeah, can’t let anyone see me with that,” I say.

  “It’ll be safe down here,” Corvina says.

  My sister does love me. So does Bridget. I’ll figure out how to make that work. Even if I have to sneak around Corvina’s back. I love my sister but I don’t need her approval.

  We are both so wealthy right now. I don’t know what I’ll spend with my half of the loot we’ve taken but it will be a fun daydream on the way back to Riverdale thinking about it.

  And then there’s still the Tear of Astra. You know, maybe we won’t sell it. Maybe we’ll just keep it as a trophy along with the White Queen’s crown. Maybe I’ll give it back to Bridget as a sign of love. Well, maybe not that. I don’t want my sister to kill me. A trophy; maybe we’ll just keep it as a trophy to go with the others we’ve collected.