KADE: A Second Chance Rockstar Romance

by Jane Anthony

  Girls at a wedding are especially easy pickings, but I have my sights on only one. She comes down the aisle in the same purple dress as the other three girls, but they can’t hold a candle to her. She floats like an angel. The material moves with the gentle sway of her hips as she makes her way to the front. She’s exquisite. My eyes stay fixed on her as Banger and Jen exchange their vows and are pronounced man and wife.

  The ceremony was nice, but I’m glad when it’s over. Strands of tiny lights twinkle in the purple and black banquet room. The holiday theme is so dramatically overdone; I’m shocked Jen didn’t ask us to come in costumes. Thank God for that.

  JJ and Konner are sitting next to me arguing over which chick they’re going to screw, as if they can’t have their pick of literally any broad in this joint. Well, every one except mine. These guys are like the idiot brothers I never had. Everything’s a competition with these two knuckleheads. On the last tour, they actually made a bet to see who could go the longest without showering and still score. The funk on the bus was foul, but it didn’t deter the chicks starving for a piece of a rock star meat at any cost. Women are messed up. Most of them, anyway.

  “You guys are barking up the wrong tree with that girl.”

  Ainsley’s sweet voice gives me chills as it filters in from behind me. That Jersey Girl accent makes me want to do a fist pump every time I hear it. “She has no interest in what you’re packin’,” she adds, gesturing to the black-haired bridesmaid Dumb and Dumber have set their sights on.

  “Whatever, Ainsley. I got everything that girl needs right here.” JJ grabs his junk, giving it an exaggerated shake and curling his lips into a fake sneer.

  I roll my eyes, embarrassed for a split second to be associated with the man-child sitting next to me, but Ainsley just wrinkles her nose and shakes her head, taking their bull in stride. After three weeks on a tour bus, she’s as numb to his crap as the rest of us are. I’d love to say it’s all rock star attitude, but sadly JJ’s been this way since I met him. “Never gonna happen, JJ.”

  “Fifty bucks says I get that girl on her knees before the night is over,” he bets, scratching at the bull’s-eye tattoo on the side of his shaved head. Why someone who’s as big an asshole as JJ would get a fucking bull’s-eye tattooed on his head, I have no idea. It just goes with the territory. Guy’s always been a mouthy moron with a death wish.

  “You got yourself a bet!”

  She takes the seat next to me, and we all watch as a short-haired chick in a pants suit comes up and kisses Black Hair dead on the mouth. Ainsley’s smile spreads from ear to ear, as she looks back at both guys.

  JJ’s eyebrow shoots up in shock. “Well played, sister,” Konner says, joining Ainsley’s hand in a high five. I just sit back and smile. That’s my girl.

  Defeated, JJ throws three twenties on the table. “Keep the change.”

  Ainsley grabs the cash and deposits it into the top of her strapless dress. Andrew Jackson, you lucky bastard.

  “If you’re looking to score, I’m pretty sure little orphan Annie over there has some serious daddy issues.” She points at a girl with flame red hair and a black mini dress shaking her ass on the dance floor. JJ and Konner continue their juvenile arguing as they leave the table.

  “Flying solo tonight, huh? Crocodile Dundee ditch you to go walkabout?”

  Her eyes narrow and she scowls. “No, he didn’t ditch me.” Her petite fingers nervously tangle in my discarded tie on the table. “He had a problem at work. He’ll be here later.”

  “Maybe it’s none of my business, but any man who puts you second isn’t worth your time.” She doesn’t say anything in response, and she doesn’t have to. Ainsley’s ex-husband is a grade-A douchebag. I had the displeasure of meeting him once. That asshole actually had the balls to sucker punch me. I would have squeezed his head off like a balloon if Ainsley hadn’t stopped me. I swear the dude almost pissed himself. Anyway, my point is, she is so used to being put on a shelf that it’s second nature at this point. She’s strong and independent—both qualities I love about her—but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t insist on being number one.

  The band changes gears, and the music switches to a slow song. I extend my hand out to her. She looks at it for a second, letting her gaze fall to me before allowing me to pull her out onto the dance floor. Her arms ring around my neck, and my hands wrap around her back. The entire world disappears the instant her tight body presses against mine. Her head rests near my shoulder. Hot breath blows on my throat. My eyes drift closed as I bring my face as close to hers as I can and get drunk on her spellbinding fragrance. It’s a better high than any drink or drug.

  As we move to the rhythm of the music, my thumb caresses small circles into the soft skin on her back, and her wild hair tickles my knuckles. I can’t say what happens when we die, but if there is a heaven, this would be mine.

  I want to hold her like this forever. She fits me like a missing puzzle piece. Without her, I’m jagged and rough. Too misshapen and angular to fit quite right into this world. She makes me whole. She must feel it too. My heart pounds against my ribcage, ready to burst from all the things I want to say. Things I should have said a year ago but was too macho to let out. Instead, I did what I always do—fuck instead of feel. Sex is easy. Why is love so complicated?

  My arms wrap tighter, and a soft sigh passes her lips. We’re barely moving now, just holding each other on the dance floor. I’m dying to kiss her, but the second my lips touch hers, I know it won’t be enough. I’ll want more. Her body stretches, pushing against me as her nose grazes my collarbone. She wants me as much as I want her; I know it.

  “Can I cut in?” Her head bolts off my shoulder, and our magic moment goes up in smoke.

  “Eric, you made it!” She drops her arms and smiles, but it isn’t genuine. Her entire demeanor changes the second she hears his voice. Her docile body becomes as rigid as stone.

  I step back, and he comes between us. “Thanks for keepin’ an eye on my girl, mate. I got it from here.” His voice is casual, but his words are dripping with warning. It’s bro code for stay the hell away. I’m impressed. The bearded bastard is ballsier than I thought.

  He scoops her up in his scrawny arms, and I see red. Testosterone shoots through my veins like a bullet. I wasn’t graced with a fight or flight mentality. I only have one switch. Right now, it’s turned up to eleven, and I want to kill this motherfucker.

  You’re too much of a loose cannon. . . .

  Ainsley’s words hold me in a vise grip and keep the avalanche of rage from crushing what’s-his-name’s smug face into dust. My arms hang at my sides, muscles tense and fists balled. He twirls her around, and her eyes plead with me to be civil. Her gaze lingers on me longer than it should. Is that longing? Or pity? Either way, I can’t stand to look at her right now.

  In the distance, I see Banger staring daggers at me. I inhale sharply through my nose and make eye contact with my friend. He mouths something at me from across the room. Walk away.

  Acting like a primate now would be detrimental to my band, my friendship, and my future with Ainsley. Banger is right; I need to calm down and deal with this shit without violence. I take one last look at my girl then turn around and walk out of the room.

  CHAPTER 24

  Ainsley

  “EXCUSE US, ERIC.” Jenny grabs my hand and pulls me to the bar at the edge of the dance floor. “Ainsley. My love. Do me a favor.” She threads her fingers together in front of her like she’s praying. “Stop messing with Kade’s head. Either fuck him or tell him to fuck off. I don’t care. But defuse this situation now.”

  Her jade glare tears me a new one. I press my fingers to my forehead. When we were on tour, Jenny cleaned up every mess I made, but that was business. This is her wedding. I’m allowing Kade to seep into my brain and stomp on the cognizant parts that tell me right from wrong, and I’m messing up her moment in the sun.

  “I don’t know what I’m doing! Why is this so goddamned di
fficult?”

  “It doesn’t have to be. You just need to ask yourself which man you really want.” She catches the bartender’s eye from the other end and holds up two fingers. “You know the answer. I think we all do.”

  I shake my head. “No, it’s not that simple. Kade and Shay . . . Eric is the smart choice.”

  The bartender comes back down to our end and leaves two identical drinks in front of us. The ice inside the black liquid is shaped like mini skull heads.

  Jenny slides one glass in front of me. “Shay will love whoever you love. Eric may be the smart choice, but is he the one who makes you the happiest?”

  That’s the problem right there. Shay would love Kade. How could she not? He’s a big child who looks like Superman. But she currently has a man who flies in and out of her life whenever he feels like it. She doesn’t need another. Kade already proved how easily he can jump from my bed to someone else’s. Before I choose to share my life with anyone, I need to believe in my heart that he plans to stick around.

  I pick up my drink and suck hard on the straw, draining half the glass in one gulp. Whiskey and coke. That’s right. Jen’s liquor of choice happens to be the same as Kade’s. “I’m happy.”

  Her head cocks to the side, and she plasters on her signature know-it-all grin. “You’re content. It’s not the same thing. Look, Eric is super nice, and the accent is sexy as hell, but come on. There is zero chemistry between you two.”

  My eyes glance at the table where Eric is sitting alone. I guess I never really thought about it before. Being with Eric was comfortable right from the start. He’s easy to talk to, and we have so much in common. “I guess he’s a little stiff.”

  The bartender takes my empty glass, and Jenny pushes hers in front of me. “Stiff? The guy barely touches you. Even when you were dancing, it looked like rigor mortis was about to set in.” She laughs, and I drop my face to my palm. “I’ll support whatever you decide, but if it screws up my wedding, I’m going to go Bridezilla on your ass, and I don’t want to have to do that,” she says with a wink. “Finish that drink first. A little liquid courage will do you some good.” She gives my hand a supportive squeeze and leaves me standing alone at the bar.

  Doing as I’m told, I suck back the second drink. The whiskey burns as it travels down my esophagus and leaves a warmness in my belly. My fingers tingle, and my nose feels numb. I look back at the table and see Jenny chatting up Eric. She’s creating a diversion so I can slip out quietly, reminding me, yet again, that she is so much better of a friend than I am.

  I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. I have no idea what I want, but I have to at least coerce him to come back inside. He’s the best man; he needs to be in here.

  Walking around the dance floor, I exit the room undetected and lean against the railing to search the room below. Kade sits against the wall with bent knees on the bottom step of one of the expansive staircases. His shirt is unbuttoned down to his stomach, exposing a white ribbed tank underneath. I stay and watch him for a moment. He’s as close to physical perfection as a person can get, but underneath that chiseled jaw and strong physique is a man who’s as flawed as the rest of us.

  Whiskey, stilettos, and stairs are a dangerous combination. I move down the steps carefully, catching his eye when he hears me coming. “You lost?”

  He shifts his long legs, giving me space to sit on the bottom step next to him. “I am. I’m completely and utterly lost.” I rest my head against his thick arm and sigh. “I lose myself in you every time you come near me. You scramble my brain and leave me dizzy.” His pinky skims my exposed thigh. The tiny amount of skin-to-skin contact sparks like a flint. The intimacy of the moment is too great. I sit up and lean against the balusters on the railing instead. “I’m too old for dizzy. I want more. You and I just don’t work.”

  “That’s some bullshit.” He turns to face me.

  I blow out an exasperated breath and push myself up straighter on the steps. Nothing that involves Kade is ever easy.

  “Mind-blowing sex isn’t a relationship. It’s the illusion of one.” I hear the words coming out of my mouth, and even I don’t believe them. I downplay what we had as nothing but physical, but it was so much more than that. My feelings for him terrify me. I pushed him out of my life over a year ago, but I was never truly free.

  His sarcastic laughter burns me up and makes me want to smack the cocky smirk off his face. I don’t have time to dwell on it long. His mouth crashes onto mine, and my mind goes completely blank. His full lips are as strong as I remember, as they’ve been in every dream and every fantasy I’ve had since we’ve been apart. My lips part allowing his tongue to slide inside, and my hands find their way around his neck, slipping through the silky hair at the nape.

  Memories grab me, reminding me how good it feels being wrapped in his strong arms and losing myself in him. A growl escapes his chest. I reply with a soft whimper of my own, echoing off the sterile marble all around us. He takes hold of my bottom lip with his teeth, letting it slide between them before letting it go completely. Our chests heave with ragged breaths. I can’t help but stare at the sheen on his lips, a combination of our saliva mingling together just so.

  My heart flaps against my ribs like a bat. He grabs my hand and rests it on my chest, his bigger hand on top. “This is not an illusion.” His hand is hot on my skin, clouding my brain with lust too thick to think clearly. He tastes exactly the same—like whiskey with a chaser of trouble—and the desire for more is so strong it crushes me like a weight. “Now cut the holier-than-thou shit, ditch Dundee, and come upstairs with me.”

  His sudden demand clears the fog from my brain, separating the clouds of desire, and leaving nothing but rays of anger shooting through. “You’re a cocky son of a bitch, you know that? I’m here with someone else.” I smack his hand away like a spider. My blood is boiling. With one kiss, he managed to both prove me wrong and bump me down to Bob’s level. I rise, standing on the bottom step holding onto the railing for support. “You think you know me? You don’t know shit!”

  “I know enough to know you still want me.”

  He jumps to his feet on the floor. Between the massive heels on my shoes and the height of the step, we’re nose to nose, and he uses that to his advantage, stepping as far into my personal space as humanly possible. Our chests are so close I can feel the heat radiating off him in waves. His hands cup my face. Long fingers splay around my head and disappear in my hair, holding my gaze locked on his. Neon shades of blue flow out from the center of his eyes to the navy outer rim like electric charges through a plasma sphere.

  “You look me in the eye, Ainsley, and you tell me you feel a fraction for him what you feel for me. Tell me he’s the one, and I’ll walk away right now and never bother you again.”

  He pauses, waiting for my answer, but I don’t give one. I can’t because it would be a lie. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he finishes.

  “Ainsley.”

  My head whips around as a thick Australian accent floats down from the landing above. My stomach coils as Eric trots down the stairs and stops a few steps from where we’re standing. “Should I go?”

  “No!”

  “Yes!”

  Kade and I both answer simultaneously.

  Kade drapes a possessive arm over my shoulders. I glare at him, pushing him off me and take a step up, hoping that putting more space between us would calm my nerves and cool the warmth I still feel from him being so close. “No, Eric. Kade was just leaving.”

  “Unless you’re coming with me, sweets, I’m not going anywhere,” he says with another cocky laugh, crossing his thick arms over his chest. Even in a tuxedo, he looks menacing, but I know he won’t dare swing unless provoked. I also know Eric isn’t going to be that stupid.

  My chest feels so tight it’s like breathing through mud. Jenny’s shrill voice echoes in my head, defuse this situation. “You know what? Forget this. I’m leaving.”

  Turning on the staircase, my own gr
acelessness ruins my dramatic exit as my heel catches on the step. I buckle and fall backward. Right into Kade’s arms.

  Eric stands idly by, watching as Kade immediately springs to action, setting me on the step and removing my shoe. Gentle hands stroke my ankle and twist my foot softly to the right then the left in a thorough examination. “I think you’re gonna live,” he says, still brushing his fingertip up and down my naked foot resting on his bended knee. His touch, no matter how small, sends an immediate reaction to the pleasure centers of my brain making me woozy.

  “I’m just gonna go then,” Eric finally says, brushing past us down the stairs.

  “Eric, wait!” I call out as he reaches the door.

  He turns, my pathetic hobble on one sky-high heel and one bare foot doing nothing to help me. His caramel eyes are creased in the corners, and his mouth is turned down. Hurting him was the last thing I wanted to do, but I still managed to do it anyway. “I’m sorry, Eric. I can only imagine what you must think of me right now, but you have to believe me when I say whatever he and I had is over.”

  Eric’s hand strokes my cheek. I lean into it hoping to catch a glimpse of the same tiny spark that’s ignited whenever Kade and I touch. There’s nothing. “You’re kidding yourself, Ainsley. What’s between you two is clearly unfinished.”

  He makes a move for the door, but I grab his forearm. “Eric, don’t go.” My eyes plead with him to stay. I can’t let our relationship end like this.

  “Why do you want me to stay?” The question is simple. At least, it should be, but I can’t think of a single good reason for him not to leave. I’ve been awful. I used him as a distraction to shield my heart from a man I fear will only take it and run. I settled for Eric because he was safe. I still long for the shelter of that safety, but I don’t know how to spin it in a way that doesn’t sound completely selfish.