Mr. Ruin

by Maya Hughes

My feet felt like lead as I put one foot in front of the other and walked down the steps. Anyone watching would have thought I was insane. Every time I got the courage to knock, I’d scurry back up to the street before talking myself into walking back down again. The hospital wing, the children’s books. All those people. I could do this. I could do this. It was my mantra as I descended the staircase the final time.

  I glanced around to see if there were any other options before knocking. An imposing man, dressed in all black with a white tie, opened the door, looking me up and down before stepping out of the way to let me in. I took a deep breath and took a step back.

  “In or out?” he asked, gruffly, looking over my shoulder. My stomach flip flopped. I straightened my spine and followed him in.

  When the bouncer told me I had to take my clothes off I nearly passed out. I must have stood there for a solid five minutes, my mouth opening and closing with only a wheezing sound escaping, before I decided this was another test. I couldn’t fail. I needed to do this.

  When the bouncer slid the white half face mask across the desk, I almost kissed him full on the mouth in thanks. At least no one would see my face. The green wristband made less sense to me.

  “What’s this for?”

  “You need it to get in,” he said, pushing everything toward me. I went to the changing room and sat on the dark wooden bench inside. My hair flopped into my face as I stuck my head between my knees, my breath coming out all wheezy and unsteady. I whipped my head back and hit it against the wall of the changing room. That hurt! I rubbed my hand on the throbbing spot on my head. There was a knock on the door.

  “Are you okay?” came the muffled voice of the security guy.

  “I’m okay. I’ll be right out.” My voice came out high and squeaky. Get it together. Get the answers you need.

  My hands trembled as I undid each button and zipper. What would he have me do? I squeezed my thighs together and a surge of courage shot through me when my mind drifted away from my nakedness and to the man who invited me here. Was I really doing this?

  I glanced up at myself in the mirror in the dim changing room. Recessed blue lights ran along the ceiling, basking the room in a calming light. It did nothing for my mood. I adjusted the white mask on my face, my eyelashes hitting against the eye cut outs. I breathed deeply, turned the polished brass doorknob, and entered the club, putting one foot in front of the other, doing my best not to keel over.

  As my eyes adjusted to the darker interior, it was a lot different than I expected. Not seedy at all. It looked like any upscale bar, except for everyone was practically nude. Leather, chrome, and glass made up most of the furniture and decor. People sat in booths and at the bar, talking, touching, but looking pretty much like you’d find them in any bar. It was probably because of the rules I’d been briefed on before I came in.

  No sex in the bar.

  No sex in areas not designated as play areas.

  No sex with anyone who doesn’t consent to sexual contact.

  I had on a green band. I didn’t know what it meant. He’d said that was what I needed to get in, but I saw a rainbow of colored bands when I made it inside.

  The white mask meant it was my first time. I didn’t even know why I’d been allowed in. It seemed this place had strict rules and I thought for sure I’d be turned away at the door. I’d prayed I’d be turned away at the door, but just my luck, I wasn’t. Killian got what Killian wanted. As I stepped farther into the room I felt the eyes on me. On my skin, attempting to peel off the little bit of clothing I had left on.

  And then I felt his stare. I knew it was him. Nothing had ever felt like when he looked at me. With my mask, I had a bit of cover and I glanced in his direction. Sure enough, he was sitting in a booth, like he owned the place. His tanned bare chest glowing in the dim light. I didn’t know if he had pants on or not, but I wasn’t brave enough to look. The intense look on his face was unmistakable, as well as the tiny smirk. He thought this would shake me. He thought he’d be able to get away from me, if he freaked me out by coming here. Well he had another thing coming.

  I squared my shoulders and sat on a bar stool and ordered a drink. I’d need as much liquid courage as I could muster. Once I showed him I wasn’t afraid, maybe then we could have a conversation. A real conversation about what the hell he had against Mr. Thayer. The cold, fruity, refreshing taste of my drink helped to quell my nerves. Warm tingles raced through my body. I didn’t know if the cause was the alcohol or the intense mental gymnastics going on in my head to keep me from running out of this place.

  A few guys approached me, and some women introduced themselves as well. I let them all know I was waiting for someone, but one glance over my shoulder at Killian and I saw a woman approach his table. She had on a bright pink corset, complete with thigh highs and heels that would rival any of mine at home. She walked on them with no problem, like she lived in those things as she slid into the booth beside him. His gaze slid from me to her and jealousy soured my gut. I was pissed at myself for even thinking like that.

  The next guy who came up was nice, cute even. He had a wide smile and a hot body. He was only a little taller than me, but his muscles were the kind women always wanted to squeeze. I introduced myself. If Killian could talk to someone else, then why shouldn’t I? Maybe this would get his attention.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Rachel,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Giles.”

  “Hi, Giles. So, what brings you here?” I said, grimacing. Immediately wanting to slap myself in the forehead. What the hell would bring someone to a sex club? Tasty bar snacks? He chuckled at my idiocy.

  “Before I wasn’t sure, but right now I can say, I was hoping to find a beauty like you,” he said, turning the charm up to panty melting territory. If I weren’t on a mission, completely out of my element, and, you know, sitting on a bar stool in my underwear and at least a little afraid of what might be going on in those back rooms, I might have been more than just flattered.

  “Thanks,” I said, an uncontrollable blush turning my skin beet red.

  “Since it’s your first time, I’ll give you a bit of advice,” he said, leaning forward. I leaned in too. I needed to hear this. “If you’re really waiting for someone, you’ll want to get a red band. It will stop the questions and approaches.” He pointed to the band on my wrist. And my eyebrows furrowed under the mask.

  “I didn’t know there were other colors. The bouncer only gave me this one, said I needed it to get in,” I said, toying with it.

  “In that case, whoever invited you certainly wanted to make sure you had an eventful first visit,” he said, spinning his own green band around his wrist.

  “It would seem he did. Listen, Giles, you’re really nice. Super cute, even, but I’m here for work.”

  His eyebrows furrowed and he looked at me with his eyebrows shooting sky high. “You’re a hooker?” he whispered. I couldn’t hold back my laugh. I threw my head back and laughed so hard tears gathered in the corners of my eyes.

  “No!” I practically shouted at him. Wiping at the corners of my eyes under the mask with a cocktail napkin, I snapped the mask back in place. “No, definitely not a hooker. But thanks for the compliment I guess. Wow, a hooker.” I took a sip of my drink. Relief washed over Giles’s face, if not a little embarrassment.

  “Sorry,” he said, the tips of his ears turning pink.

  “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure there are all types that come through this place,” I said, glancing around and making sure my eyes didn’t settle on the dark figure taking up his own booth and seeming to suck all the air out of the room. I chatted with Giles a bit longer and downed another drink. My leg bounced up and down on the bar stool.

  “Do you know where the bathroom is?” I asked, pushing my hands under my legs on the stool.

  “Sure, follow me, I’ll show you the way and make sure no one bothers you,” he said, offering his arm.

  “Thanks very much,” I said, taking
his arm. I don’t know if it was the booze or the fact that no one else was wearing much, but I’d almost forgotten I was sitting at a bar in nothing more than my bra and panties. We were almost to the hallway with the sign to the restroom illuminated overhead when a shadow fell over us. I glanced up to meet the furious gaze of Killian. His eyes darted to my arm on Giles’ and I shrank back, whipping my hand off Giles’ arm.

  Giles turned back to me, missing the exchange, and smiled at Killian. Even I could see that probably wasn’t the best course of action right now. Killian seemed downright pissed.

  “Hey, Kill. How are you?” Giles said, extending his hand. Killian looked at it like Giles offered him a dead fish swarming with flies before turning his gaze back on me.

  “Let’s go,” he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward a different hallway. Giles took a step toward us, like he was going to follow. I shook my head. I didn’t need him getting mixed up in my mess.

  “It’s okay. Everything is fine. Nice meeting you,” I said, before Killian dragged me down the hall. We reached the end of the hall and were up a set of stairs before he stepped into a dark room, pulling me inside and closing the door.

  A small light in the corner barely illuminated the room. There was a bed, a large black curtain along one wall, and another door, which I hoped went to a bathroom.

  “What games are you playing, Rachel?” Killian asked, rounding on me. He was the one playing games. I was only having a little fun. More fun than I’d had since—well, ever.

  “I could ask you the same thing,” I said, my hands on my hips. The liquor making me a bit bolder. Standing here with him, in this room, I didn’t feel naked. I felt something else. I couldn’t place my finger on it. He made me feel something else. Something I hadn’t felt before, but I liked it. Something slowly unfurled in me. The tightness in my chest and stomach travelled lower. I wasn’t sure what else he’d be able to do.

  He dangled something in front of me I couldn’t even see, but it was tempting. Made me forget all the rules I’d ever lived by. I didn’t know if I should take the risk, but I didn’t know if I could afford not to. It was like the clothes coming off peeled away more than my department store wear. As they hit the floor, they took years of built up insecurities and fears.

  “If you want to play, we’ll play. But we’re going to play by my rules.” He stepped closer to me, his chest brushing against mine and his cock pushing against my stomach through his boxers. There was no mistaking it. He wasn’t trying to hide it. He wanted me to run. He wanted me to be scared. I don’t know who was more shocked that I wasn’t ready to bolt from the room. Him or me.

  “What do you want me to do?” I asked, feeling like I was barely speaking over the hammering of my heart.

  Game on.

  9

  KILLIAN

  People didn’t often surprise me and they almost never shocked me. But I had to clench my teeth together to keep my jaw from hitting the ground when Rachel put on her little saucy display in front of me.

  If that was the way she wanted to play it, I wasn’t going to give her what I knew she wanted. And I knew she wanted it from the way she looked at me. I wasn’t going to make it easy for her. I was going to make her work for it. She thought she’d be able to fuck the information she wanted out of me, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

  “There are some rules you’re going to have to abide by, if you want to know what I’m up to, Rachel,” I said, walking around her. Circling her. She shivered, her shoulders trembling slightly, but she kept her head straight ahead. “How much do you want it?”

  “I want answers.”

  “I’m sure there’s a lot you want, sweetheart. I’m sure there are so many things you want me to tell you. To show you,” I said against her ear. She smelled like flowers. Like a bright and sunny garden. I breathed her in.

  “I’d like you to tell me why you’re attacking my boss,” she said, glancing over her shoulder. Her eyes were hooded. Not big and wide and scared like before. They were hungry, she was hungry, and I had no trouble satisfying her until I had my fill. I didn’t want this to end.

  “There are going to be some rules if you want the information I have.”

  “What kind of rules?” She nibbled on her bottom lip and it popped out of her mouth, red, even more plump, and wet. I bit back a groan.

  “Rules we’re both going to have a lot of fun following, if you’re brave enough.” She straightened her shoulders. Just how I wanted her. Feisty and bold.

  “Fine.”

  “Rule #1. In the hours after work you belong to me,” I said, running my finger across her shoulders. Goosebumps rose along her flesh and I stopped myself from nipping her skin.

  “Rule #2. You cannot ask me any questions until you’ve completed your task for the evening,” I said, my fingers sliding along the waistband on her panties. Slipping under it just a fraction of an inch, separating them from her skin and rubbing her there. A small gasp ripped from her lips. I walked around the front of her. Her vision was clouded with the haze of desire. I gripped her chin between my fingers and drew her gaze to mine.

  “Rule #3. No coming without permission,” I said and she blinked. I could see her mind whirring. She swallowed hard again and kept her eyes on mine.

  “I have to pee,” she said suddenly, before bursting into the bathroom off my private room. She slammed the door behind her and left me standing in the middle of the room in stunned silence.

  10

  RACHEL

  Oh my god. That phrase repeated in my head about nine thousand times before I even started to process what the hell happened out there. What the hell was I supposed to do with that? To do with him? I came here for a purpose. The reason wasn’t to get fucked five ways to Sunday by Killian Thorne. So why did I want that so badly? More than I’d probably wanted anything in my entire life? All the perfect neatness of the little life I created for myself here seemed like cheap plastic when held up against the cold steel he was made of. I wanted that. I wanted him.

  This would not go well if Mr. Thayer found out I’d gotten into bed with Killian Thorne. I was supposed to do some digging, not ride him into the sunset. When was the last time I’d walked on the wild side? How about this side of never? Other than a few awkward sex sessions with some guys in college, I could practically be a nun. I could keep things separate. I could get the information I needed and live a little too. There wasn’t anything wrong with what I was doing.

  I’d tell myself these lies all day, if it meant I got to have a taste of him. I was sure his promises and rules were laced with poison, but right then I didn’t care if I got to feel as alive as I felt when I walked into that room with his eyes on me. No one had ever looked at me like he looked at me, like he was trying to decide which part of me he wanted to devour first.

  I was tempted to rub myself right there, but then I’d be breaking one of his rules. Could I do it? Could I not was the better question. I splashed some water on my face, happy I didn’t have any makeup to smudge, and looked myself in the mirror. You’ve got this. There’s just an impossibly sexy man out there, ready to make you play by his rules. Rules like none of the others I’d ever lived my life by.

  This was what I was missing. This can’t breathe, can’t see straight lust that hit me right in my gut and made me wet. Panic and desire warred for dominance in my mind. Deep breaths weren’t doing anything to quell the emotions racing through me. Time to put on my big girl panties and get back out there.

  My hand twisted the cold metal knob as my stomach twisted itself into a knot. I took a deep breath and swung the door open. Killian was standing right there. I let out a small yelp as the light from the bathroom hit him, making him seem even more imposing against the darkness of the room.

  “Rule Number 4. No running away from me until you are dismissed,” he said, stepping in closer, his face inches from mine. His lips were full and rigid at the same time. I bit my lip to keep from nipping his. The temptation wa
s unreal.

  “Don’t…don’t I need a safe word or something,” I said, my breath hitching. His delicious smile made the tightness in my stomach coil even tighter. I’d never been around a guy who made me want to do things like this before. I’d only now come to realize how boring my sex life had been up until this point.

  “No safe word tonight. You won’t need it.”

  He slid his hand along my waist and the goosebumps were back. The stampede was in full force again and he closed the door behind me. I stood, pressed up against him in the dark room, a glow of the blue light around the far edges of the room was all I had to see him, but I didn’t need to see. I could feel him. I could feel every part of him, every ridge, every curve, every bulge, pressed right against me.

  “Do you understand my rules, Rachel?” he asked, his hot breath fanning against my face as he corralled me away from the door. Away from my escape back into the sanctuary of the bathroom. But I didn’t want to escape. I wanted this, more than I should. In here, it was only us. That was all that mattered. My breath was the only other sound in the room. Why the hell was I breathing so loud? This was it. Do or die time. I didn’t trust my voice, so I nodded.

  “I need the words,” he said, running his finger along my arm and up to my shoulder.

  “Yes,” I said, my voice squeaking.

  “Good,” he said, before giving me a gentle push. The backs of my knees hit the edge of the bed and I flopped down, bouncing once. My hair flew into my face and I gasped as I felt his hands slide up my thighs and grip onto the waistband of my panties. Before I knew what was happening, the cool air of the room hit my pussy.

  I glanced down my body and there he was, on his knees looking every bit the big bad wolf I’d come to think of him as. But he wasn’t banging on my front door. His eyes dared me to stop him. He thought I was scared. I wasn’t. Not of him. I was scared of me. That this would be something I’d crave like a drug and once he’d cut me off I’d stay an addict until the end of days. Every part of me was hyper aware of him, every cell reaching out for him. It all happened in a blink.