Mr. Ruin

by Maya Hughes

  “That’s done and it’s over. I’m talking about us. I didn’t do anything to him that did any permanent damage. I fixed my mistakes. I did everything I could to stop what I’d set in motion.”

  I ignored the statements about Rhys. I saw the headlines. He was lying to my face.

  “There is no us, Killian. There wasn’t an us from the minute you showed up at my office and fought with him. From the moment you fucked me on the floor of your apartment. Making your final claim. It was a game to you and I was a stupid pawn.” Tears prickled in my eyes. Don’t you dare cry. I’d thought that the old pain was gone. That I’d managed to push it down and start over, but I hadn’t. I hadn’t at all and he was here in front of me looking as gorgeous as ever and it made me so mad I wanted to scream. He got everything he wanted.

  “You think you weren’t using me too? You think you were innocent in all this? You came after me for a specific reason. You came after me to find out what I was up to. You were using me just as much as I was using you. I was a job to you. Tell me I’m wrong.”

  I bit back my reply. He was right. It certainly started out like that. My way to prove myself. To prove that I could be indispensable. To be the person to save Rhys Thayer and the thousands of lives he touched.

  “Exactly. It wasn’t just me. You ripped my fucking heart out.”

  “What heart, Killian?” I asked, scoffing and his gaze changed. He wasn’t the contrite man I’d seen before. The fire was back in his eyes. He was a predator again. Before I knew what was happening, he slammed his lips against mine, pressing me up against the wall behind me. His hungry, searching lips crushed against mine as he bit and nipped them.

  I gasped and he took the opening of my lips as an invitation. My hands were angry on his back, gripping his suit jacket, tugging on it, fisting it. But I didn’t push him away. I couldn’t. He tasted just as good as I remembered. So good. So easy to sink into him and forget. And be his again.

  That thought hit me hard and jolted me out of his gravitational pull. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away as hard as I could. He stumbled back, panting just like I was. I clutched my hand against my chest, trying to slow my pounding heart.

  He took a step forward and I held out my hand.

  “No. No, we are not doing this.” Tour be damned. He could see the rest of the displays on his own. I needed to get out of there. I raced out of the exhibit and out the back exit, signaling for Charles. He had the car pulled up to the side of the museum in an instant. I stepped inside and as I closed the door. Looking back, I saw Killian standing in the doorway I’d just bolted out of. He caught my eye and I hesitated for a second before slamming the car door behind me.

  I closed the door to my bedroom behind me, my heart still thumping at a mile a minute. Killian was here. He was in the city. And now he knew who I was. As much as I’d pretended like I’d go back to the city to face him eventually, deep down I knew I’d be more than happy to hide out forever. To pretend like my little jaunt in Manhattan never happened and it was all just a dream. I glanced around my room. Other than packing up some of my books, it was the same as when I got back.

  I was so ready to slip back into being the old me. Into my old life. Dahlia was the only connection I had to New York. She was the only person I didn’t want to leave behind, well not the only person, but the only one I would allow myself to think about.

  Was Killian lying? Rhys was out of all the foundations he chaired. I’d seen headline after headline roll in. Killian said he’d given up his vendetta? It hadn’t seemed possible only a few months ago. Why was he here now? How had he known where to find me?

  There was only one person outside of my family and the rest of Chicago who knew I was going to be there. He hadn’t been able to find me since I left so why now. A sting of betrayal stabbed my hard in the chest.

  I changed into my pajamas and flopped down on my bed. My wet hair sticking to my face. I hesitated before unlocking my phone and pulling up the number. Why did she do it?

  “Hey, Rach,” she said, the buzzing of the tattoo gun droning on in the background.

  “Did you send Killian here?” I put her on speaker and set my phone down on the bed, hopped up and began pacing.

  “You saw him, then?”

  “Of course, I saw him. That invitation was for you. You were supposed to come here, not him.”

  “Rachel, I’m sorry. I told you fifty times that I couldn’t come. I know you don’t want to hear this, but you should talk to him.”

  “That wasn’t your decision to make, Dahlia. It wasn’t up to you. It was up to me and I wasn’t ready.”

  “And you were never going to be ready, Rachel. You are never going to come back here. We knew you were taking your sweet ass time and that there was a good chance that day would never come.

  “We?”

  “‘We’ is me and Dahlia,” my mom said, pushing my door open.

  “What?” I shrieked, glancing between my phone and my mom. “You two plotted about this behind my back?”

  “Rachel, I’ve never known you to be afraid of anything. To back away or back down from anything. And I’m not going to let you use this,” she said, gesturing around my room, “as a hideout for living a real life.”

  “I am living a life, Mom. I’m doing what you’ve always wanted me to do. I am helping you plan all the best parties, all the best galas, attending brunches, everything you’ve always begged me to do.”

  “Yes, and you are doing it because you’re afraid. You’re not doing it because it’s what you want to do. I wanted you by my side because I love you. And I miss you every day that you’re gone. But I’m not going to let you give up on the life you want because you’re afraid.”

  “Mom, you have no idea who he is. You have no idea the things he’s done. I don’t understand.”

  “You need to talk to him,” Dahlia said from the phone in my hand. “You need to at least hear what he has to say. Just hear him out and then you can make your decision.”

  “I can’t believe you two did this behind my back.”

  “It’s for your own good, Rach,” Mom said, squeezing my hand.

  “You just want me to come back, so my mom will start sending those care packages again, don’t you Dahlia?”

  She laughed, a watery laugh. “I’m not going to say it’s not something I’ve thought about, but I’d much rather have you back here than anything else. Just talk to him, alright? Please? For me.”

  I hadn’t thought about how my disappearing might have affected her. I’d missed her so much and kept promising to visit her. She was booked solid through next year, so she couldn’t come out to visit me, either. No matter what happened I would make sure I spent time with her.

  “Okay, fine. He has one more exhibit tour anyway. I’ll talk to him. Hear what he has to say, but no promises about anything.”

  “Yes,” Dahlia’s shout out over the phone made me smile.

  “Weren’t you the one ready to cut his balls off when I left?”

  “I mean, I’ll still cut them off if he fucks this up, but I think you at least deserve some closure and I think he probably needs some too.” That sounded ominous.

  “Okay, you two are getting your way. And Mom, don’t you dare complain about me being too far away, if I end up going back to New York.”

  “Of course, I will, dear. That’s what moms do. But I’ll also convince your father to swing by every couple of months, so we can drop in on you. Will you let us this time?”

  “I will,” I said.

  “Night, Dahl.”

  “Night, Rach. Good luck.” She ended the call.

  “Night, Rachel,” my mom said, kissing me on my forehead. She smoothed my hair and kissed me again on the cheek, before breezing out of the room, her jewelry glittering in the hallway light. I sat for a long time, more confused than ever. Nervousness working away at a ball in my stomach.

  I pulled my contacts on my phone, found his name and tapped on it, and unblocked
the number.

  Me: I’ll meet you at the exhibit at 9 am tomorrow.

  His reply was immediate.

  Killian: I’ll be there.

  The bubble popped up like he was going to say more, but then it disappeared. I waited to see if he was going to say something else, but he didn’t.

  I tapped on another name on my phone. One I’d been afraid to think about contacting since I left.

  “Hello?” My voice froze in my chest.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi Mel, it’s me, Rachel.”

  After our call, I was even more confused. He’d been telling the truth. Gave up on his mission. Even let Rhys beat the crap out of him. Now what? I fell asleep with my hand wrapped around my phone, trying to figure out just what tomorrow would bring.

  35

  KILLIAN

  I paced in my hotel room, running my hands through my hair trying to figure out what to do next. The fact that Rachel hated me is a given, but I felt something more than hate when my lips were on hers. There was something there, she might not want to admit it, but it was there. I’d take what I could get, I just had to figure out how to get her to talk to me.

  There was a light knock on my door. I didn’t order room service. Who the hell would be visiting me?

  I checked through the peephole and saw nothing but a blonde head of hair. I opened the door and my stomach soured.

  Her mom. Was this when she told me to stay the hell away from her daughter?

  “Killian Thorne. Finally, we have a chance to talk.” Even in what I assumed were her dressed down clothes, she looked immaculate. Her hair and clothes were perfect. It was funny to think that this was Rachel’s mom. There were so many days she’d come tumbling into my apartment, her hair all over the place, a little bit sweaty, but disheveled like that. I wouldn’t want her any other way.

  “Am I invited in?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

  I jolted. “Sorry, yes, come in,” I said, moving aside to let her in. She scrutinized me, looking me up and down. Her bag clutched in her hands, she drummed her fingers across it. The tap of her fingers on the leather the only sound in the room. I felt like a bug under her silent gaze.

  “Hmm,” she said before walking over to me.

  “You’re in love with my daughter,” she said, standing in front of me. Daring me to deny it. I opened and closed my mouth. We’d never said those words. I’d never said those words to any woman, other than my mother. Maybe if I’d said it more…I banished those thoughts from my mind. It wasn’t something I could fix. I could fix this. I could try to repair the damage I’d done.

  “I do,” I said, my voice strained and tight. It was like I could finally breathe again. “I do love her,” I said, my voice steadier. That tightness in my chest relaxed. It was like being hit over the head.

  “If my daughter decides she wants nothing to do with you after tomorrow, will you leave her alone?”

  I gulped.

  “I hope that won’t be the case, but if after tomorrow, she tells me to leave her alone, I’ll do my best to honor her wishes.”

  Her lips pursed. I didn’t know if I’d be able to go through with it now that I knew who she was. Now that I had her name and she couldn’t hide from me. Maybe I’d leave the city. I hadn’t been able to stay away from her apartment while she was away. How would I do it if she came back? But this wasn’t about me. I could do it. I could stay away from her, if that was the only way to show her I cared about her. That I loved her.

  “I don’t like my daughter upset, but I’m also not going to let her run home because she’s scared. You have your one chance, Killian. Don’t fuck it up because I’ll help Dahlia hold you down while she cuts off your balls,” she said, sharply. My eyes got wide at the barbs in her words.

  “I wasn’t always this woman, Killian. And I’m not afraid to go to the mat for my daughter. Be sure you remember that,” she said, opening the door and letting it slam behind her.

  A plan formed in my mind. I knew exactly what I needed to do to prove to Rachel just how I felt and that she’d done the impossible and changed me.

  I made a call to my assistant and made the arrangements. The paperwork would arrive by morning.

  RACHEL

  Killian: I’m here. Are you coming?

  I stared at his message for at least fifteen minutes as I debated going in there. I sat in my car, the engine idling as I stared at the building in front of me. The beautiful structure had taken on an ominous look even though the sun shined and the gardens were filled with colorful flowers.

  I took a deep breath and got out. Killian sat on one of the benches out in front of the museum, his head hung, and he stared at his phone, gripped tightly in his hands. My heels clacked off the stone steps and he glanced up. He stood the minute he saw me, reaching out before shoving his hands in his pockets.

  “You came,” he said, wonder in his voice.

  “I said I would.” I tugged on the hem of my blouse, suddenly wishing I was in jeans and a t-shirt. Part of me wore these clothes to make it clear to him that I wasn’t the girl he’d known back in the city. I wasn’t going to let him play his games with me. The other part of me wanted to kick off these shoes and walk around in the grass, holding onto his arm pretending like we hadn’t torn each other’s worlds apart. Anger and longing warred inside me and I wasn’t sure which one would win. Or which one I wanted to win. It was so easy to hold onto that anger. That was what I wanted to feel, but the longing crept in and settled in my heart, bringing me that ache that nearly brought me to tears.

  I didn’t think Dahlia would have sent him here if he hadn’t done some serious groveling. I’d asked her not to tell me anything about him visiting, so I kind of pushed her hand.

  “Ok, let’s start your tour,” I said, trying to step past him. He reached out and gently grabbed my elbow. I stopped and took a breath before peering at him over my shoulder.

  “I’ll double the donation, if you just sit out here with me for a while, so we can talk.”

  “Killian…”

  “Please,” he said, plaintively and I took a deep breath and nodded. He led me to the bench he’d just vacated, and sat beside me. A thick manila envelope laid on the bench beside him.

  “How have you been?” he asked, glancing over at me. He rubbed his thumb over the back of his hand.

  “I’ve been okay. Helping my mom out. Planning a lot of things for the rest of the spring and summer.”

  “Are you happy?”

  “I’m great. Busy. Meeting new people. I don’t know why I always made fun of what my mom did. She does great work and I enjoy it.” I was rambling. Babbling, but I couldn’t help myself.

  “Are you happy?” he repeated.

  “Are you?”

  “No. Not even a little bit. I am completely lost without you, Rachel.”

  “I doubt that, Killian. You got everything you wanted, right? Managed to stick it to Rhys. Got your company. Got to use me along the way. You should be incredibly happy.” The anger seeped back into my voice, even though I tried to keep it at bay.

  “I apologized to Rhys.” He chuckled at my wide-eyed expression. “Trust me, it wasn’t easy. I have the literal scar to prove it,” he said, pushing the hair off his forehead. A red line sliced across his forehead just above his right eyebrow. I winced. It must have been painful.

  “I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you.” Nervous energy flowed through me. I needed to move. “Can we walk now? I need to give you your tour.” I stood and started walking. His heavy footfalls landed behind me.

  We got to the exhibit and I showed them my badge and we were allowed back in. I went through all the items I’d memorized, skipping over the few we’d seen last night. He listened to every word, but other than a sparing glance at what I described, he didn’t look at anything in the cases. His eyes were glued to mine.

  As much as I wanted to pretend him being around me didn’t affect me, it did. His gravitational pull was something I’d never
be able to resist. And I didn’t want to. I’d gone on exactly one date since leaving and I didn’t even make it until dessert. I felt more in the hour I walked with him mainly in silence, than I had in almost four months away from him. But how could I trust that whatever was driving him, that anger and rage wouldn’t come back?

  36

  KILLIAN

  I was losing her. Not that I’d had her, but I could tell her doubts were eating at her, gnawing at her. I knew what that did to you. How it could make you miss the things right in front of you.

  We made it to the end of the exhibit and I knew my time was almost up.

  “I have something to show you,” I said, reaching for her hand. She let me take it and I took that as a good sign. I led her to a garden just outside the doors of the exhibit. Peonies were everywhere.

  “Your suggestion?” I asked. Her cheeks pinked up a bit.

  “How did you know?” I raised my eyebrow and she laughed. “Yeah, I guess they’re kind of my thing.”

  “They are,” I said, pulling out a chair for her. She took a seat.

  “I have something for you.” I slid the thick envelope across the table.

  “What is this?” she asked, picking it up and opening it. My palms were sweaty and I rubbed them on my pants.

  As she read through the papers, her eyes got wide. She flipped through more than half before staring up at me.

  “What? You’re giving me your company? But…but…”

  “I own it outright as of a few months ago. It’s all mine. Everything I’ve ever worked for. Everything I’ve ever destroyed to get to this point, but I realize now, that it doesn’t matter. None of that matters, if I don’t have you. I’m giving it to you. You can do whatever you want with it.”

  “Killian…” She shook her head. It wasn’t working. Desperation pushed me forward.

  “You can sell it off. Use the money to do charity work here with your mom. Or give it all to Thayer. He’s gotten pretty good at giving all his money away.”