Nurture

by Susan X Meagher

  "And I'm in charge of him on the weekends," Maggie said, wrapping her arm around his neck. "He's off limits."

  "Women ruin everything," Niall said, giving Maggie a wink.

  "How would you know, when you've never had one?" another man called out also from the back of the room.

  "I know you're back there, Kieran. You're the only one I can't see, you moron."

  Kieran's dark head popped up from behind Frank. "Just trying to keep the party lively," he said.

  "So, are we finished?" Niall asked.

  Jamie was quite sure that almost nothing had been discussed, but she knew that was the O'Flaherty way.

  Frank piped up again. "Is everything in these papers, Bren?"

  "Yeah. Maggie and I worked on it together to make it as simple as possible. We'll file the papers to get a D/B/A and all of the other details. But you should all read and understand everything before you sign."

  "You read it," Frank said. "That's good enough for me." He got up, took the bunch of papers from the dining room table and found his name, signing every place indicated, then handing the pen to the next cousin in line.

  Jamie watched, amazed that no one questioned anything. It seemed they were more concerned with taking advantage of each other than they were of being taken advantage of.

  Ryan looked up at her and smiled. "This bunch would be a great target for a swindler, wouldn't it?"

  Despite her words, Jamie could see the pride in her eyes, and she knew that Ryan valued harmony much more than keen business sense.

  Just before the meeting broke up, Maggie pulled Jamie aside. "I saw the comments your father made about prohibiting gay marriage." She paused, looking a little unsure of herself. Even though Maggie had been at all of the recent family gatherings, she and Jamie hadn't had any alone time to speak of, and it was clear she was unsure of what she should say.

  Jamie squeezed her arm and gave her a warm smile. "My father is …" She trailed off, shaking her head. "He's a series of contradictions. I never know what he'll say next."

  "I just wanted to say that I can imagine it's hard for you-being the daughter of a politician. If you ever want to talk about anything …"

  "Thanks," Jamie said. "It is hard sometimes, and it's probably worse for me since I didn't grow up around politics. I'm not used to it."

  "I don't know how you get used to your father's saying you don't have the right to marry," Maggie said. "That's gotta hurt, no matter who you are."

  "It does," Jamie said. "And thanks for saying something to me about it. It's always nice to know that people understand."

  "We do," Maggie said.

  Jamie smiled at her, charmed that she was using the plural pronoun to refer to herself and Brendan. I think there might be two weddings in the O'Flaherty family.

  When they got into the Boxster, Jamie asked, "Wanna go get your car?"

  "Nah. I don't need it this week. Besides, I'd rather go home with you."

  "Wanna drive?"

  "I'm good." Ryan rolled her seat back and let out a sigh. "Chauffeur me."

  "Okay." She put the key into the ignition and started the car. Checking the traffic, she pulled out and headed for home. "I had a little chat with Maggie right before we left."

  "I saw you talking," Ryan said. "I know where you are every minute, so don't get any ideas."

  Laughing, Jamie said, "How can I get tired of you when I hardly ever see you?"

  "You see me now," Ryan said. She put her hand on Jamie's thigh and gave it a good scratch. "What's up with Maggie?"

  "Nothing. She just wanted to empathize about my dad. Said she figured it must be hard for me to have him be such a jerk."

  Ryan's eyebrows shot up. "She said that?"

  "No, of course not. That was the message-not the words."

  "Whew! We like to be honest, but that's a little too honest."

  Jamie snatched a quick look at Ryan's face. "He is a jerk, isn't he?"

  Ryan didn't like the tone her partner was using. She turned and studied the sad, wistful look on Jamie's face. "Sometimes he does some pretty insensitive things. He usually thinks he's right, and he can be single-minded. But I don't think he's a jerk."

  "Sounds like you're describing a jerk."

  "Not really," Ryan said. "In my book, a jerk is someone who hurts people and doesn't care. Cassie's a jerk. Your dad does some dumb things, but I think he feels bad when he sees that he's hurt people."

  "But that doesn't stop him from doing the next dumb thing."

  "No," Ryan agreed. "He doesn't seem to learn from his mistakes."

  "So he can hurt me and hurt you and hurt my mom, and we all just have to forgive him, huh?"

  Ryan looked a little uncomfortable, and she fidgeted in her seat. "You have to make that decision for yourself, Jamers. It's a tough one."

  "I have to set some limits, Ryan. I can't let him come to our wedding if he's gonna parrot the administration's stupid position on gay marriage. I just can't."

  Ryan didn't say anything. She just let her hand rest on Jamie's leg, silently showing her support.

  The couple walked into their house just as the phone started to ring. Ryan looked at the caller I.D. and said, "I don't recognize the name."

  They waited to hear a voice on the answering machine announce, "Hello? I'm trying to reach Jamie Evans. This is William Fisher from the Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgendered and Queer Defenders Against Defamation."

  Giving Ryan a puzzled look, the smaller woman picked up. "Hi, this is Jamie."

  "Hi, Jamie, as I said, this is Will Fisher from GLBTQDAD."

  "Uh-huh?"

  "We'd like to make you a proposal."

  "A proposal?" she asked slowly. "To me?"

  "That's right," he said, sounding much like the people who called to beg her to switch long-distance service. "Even though we're a national organization, we realize that state propositions can have a significant impact on the entire country. We think that the defeat of Proposition 22 has to be our most important fight right now."

  "Uhm … Will? I already donated to the fund for the state effort to defeat the proposition, and it's a little late to-"

  "We're not looking for money," he interrupted. "We'd like you to write an opinion piece concerning your feelings on the proposition and the administration's support for 'Don't ask, don't tell' as well as the Defense of Marriage Bill."

  She let his message sink in, then gave a puzzled-looking Ryan a wry smile and said, "Are you calling all of the gay people in California to offer them this opportunity? Just at the Es now?"

  He laughed nervously and admitted, "No, you're the only person we've called. Your father's comments sparked the idea. I don't know you personally, but I can't imagine that you were very happy about his position."

  Ignoring his statement, she said, "I'm not the politician in the family. And if you've paid much attention in the last few months, you would have noticed that I don't like to make my private life public."

  "I realize that, Jamie, really, I do. Actually, your name came up in discussions we had in January, but we decided not to even ask. It's just that your father's comments are going to hang out there if we don't respond to them. We have a hell of a time getting coverage in the mainstream press, but if you were to write the article…"

  "The legitimate press would print it because of my celebrity," she finished wearily.

  "That's about it," he said. "Look, I know this is asking a lot of you, especially after all you've been through this year, but if there's any part of you that feels strongly about making a public reply to your father-here's your chance. We have sources at the Chronicle, and they're confident they can position the article on the opinion page on Monday. We'll help you write the piece if you want, or you can take a stab at it yourself. Just give the idea some thought, will you?"

  "Okay, I will," she said. "Give me your number and I'll call you tomorrow."

  He did as she asked, and Jamie hung up, giving Ryan an aggrieved look. "Some days I w
ish my father and your father could change jobs."

  * * * * * * * *

  After discussing Will's proposal with Ryan, Jamie decided that she needed to think the issue through on her own. "I'm going to have to live with this no matter which way I go, so I need to let this settle for a bit. But I'm not in the mood to do it tonight. Let's go to bed and forget the whole thing, okay?"

  "Works for me." Ryan scratched her head and gave her partner an intentionally befuddled look. "What thing?"

  Part Three

  On Monday morning, Mia was up early, determined to find a way to get to Colorado before the week was up. She'd had her cell phone turned off all weekend, and when she'd returned to Berkeley, there had been at least a dozen messages from her parents, but she was determined not to speak to them until her plans were set. Mia knew that she was punishing them for the way they'd treated her, but that wasn't her primary motivation for the snub. Even though she was confident that she was doing the right thing, this decision was a major turning point in her life, and she didn't want their objections or disapproval to cause her determination to waver.

  Her mind had been racing all night long, and though she'd gotten very little sleep, Mia still wasn't tired. She'd used her sleepless hours well, coming up with plans, reworking some, scrapping others. She had a few ideas that she wanted to try out, and her first class was the perfect place to start.

  Mia left home early and stopped by Sufficient Grounds for a large coffee. She was the first to reach her classroom, and she stood outside and made a list of everyone she knew by name. She had nineteen names on her list by the time the grad assistant arrived to begin the lecture. During the class Mia wrote out requests to each of the students she thought would cooperate, asking if they'd share their notes with her for a week. She figured there was a good chance that anyone she knew would flake out on her, so she asked two people to cover each week-in hopes that one of the two would not only agree, but would actually attend the class and take notes.

  Just before the class was scheduled to end, Mia snuck out the back door and waited. Her first victim walked out right after her, and she put on her most engaging smile. "Hey, Steve!"

  "Hi," the young man said. "What's goin' on?"

  "I'm not gonna be in town next week. Would you take notes for me?"

  "Uhm … sure. Okay."

  She handed him five dollars and an envelope that was pre-stamped with Jordan's address. "Here's some money to pay for copying them and an envelope so you can send 'em to me."

  He looked surprised. "Send 'em?"

  "Yeah. I'm gonna be in Colorado."

  "Can't I just give 'em to you when you get back?"

  "Well, yeah, you could." She saw another person on her list and tried to cut it short. "But I don't wanna fall behind. Can I have your e-mail address and cell phone number?"

  He gave her a smile that was a little on the flirtatious side. "Sure." She dutifully wrote down his information, then kissed him on the cheek and ran to the next person, performing this ritual until her calendar was full.

  She was breathless when she'd finished, but she had offers from several people to share notes for the whole term if she needed them. Since these people seemed the most willing to go out of their way for her, she asked if she could call them every week to obtain class assignments and get information about the final exam.

  When she was finished, she was fairly confident that she would get the majority of the information she'd need to take the final, and if she missed a little here or there, it wouldn't be fatal. Luckily, the graduate student wasn't very interested in running a tight ship, and attendance had never been taken. Given that class participation wasn't part of the grade, Mia knew she could handle that particular class from anywhere on earth.

  Her well-laid plans went off without a hitch for her next two classes, and she called Jordan with the good news, unable to go more than a few hours without hearing her lover's voice.

  "Being friendly has really paid off for you," the blonde teased. "I didn't know more than one or two people in any of my classes."

  "It always pays to be friendly. If I hadn't been friendly with you, we wouldn't be together now, and God knows I'm glad we are."

  "I'm glad, too, babe. Our lunch break's just about over. I'll call you when we're through for the day, okay?"

  "Okay, sweetheart. Don't let 'em work you too hard. You're gonna need your strength when I get there this weekend."

  "If that's what you decide to do," Jordan added, ever the realist.

  "You can believe me when you see me," Mia said. "Talk to you later, baby."

  Her next class was the one she had been dreading, and as the professor began the class discussion, she realized she'd probably be lucky to even be able to arrange for an incomplete.

  The teacher was a young man, and he believed that class discussion was the most important part of the learning experience. He allowed each student to miss two classes, and Mia had only missed one so far, even attending when she'd really been sick so she could use her last cut for something fun.

  Getting class notes wasn't going to be very helpful or get her around the attendance requirement, so when class ended, she took in a breath and approached the man. "Hi, Professor Norris."

  "Hello," he said, giving her a rather blank look. "What's up?"

  Even though Mia was gregarious and exuberant in most settings, she kept a low profile in class. She'd learned long ago that the best way to get through college was to be neither seen nor heard, as much as possible.

  "Something very unexpected has come up, and I'm going to be in Colorado for the rest of the term, Professor. Is there any way that I can complete the class if I'm not able to attend?"

  Suddenly, Mia had his attention. "Not attend?" he asked. "How can you learn the material if you don't share your thoughts with your classmates? The free flow of ideas is what cements the concepts in your mind …" He trailed off, not knowing her name and not wanting to ask for it.

  Nobody cements the concepts anyplace, she wanted to say. We just tack 'em up at the last minute so we can stick 'em in a blue book during the final and never think of 'em again! But she was sure he wouldn't agree with her philosophy on higher education, so she tried another tack.

  "I'd be happy to write a term paper, do independent research … anything, Professor. I've learned a lot so far, and I can show you how well I know the subject in another way."

  "That's the problem," he said. "You can show me what you get out of the reading, but you can't hone your ideas with the input you get from me and the rest of the class. I'm afraid you wouldn't have a complete grasp of the subject, and I can't go along with that."

  She looked at him for a minute, trying to determine any weakness she might be able to exploit. But she could tell he really believed in what he was saying. She didn't approve of it, but she could tell. "Okay," she said. "Is there any chance of getting an incomplete? Then I'd just have to attend class for eight weeks when I return."

  "No," he said, shaking his head. "That won't work. Each class is different, and part of the experience is seeing how ideas develop over the term. I'm afraid you'll have to withdraw."

  "No other options, huh?" She wasn't going to flirt with him, mainly because of Jordan, but also because she could see it wouldn't work.

  "No, I'm afraid not," he said, looking genuinely regretful.

  "Well, I'm not certain I'm going, but if I do, I'll withdraw. You'll get a note from the registrar."

  "I hope you're able to stay … Uhm, I'm sorry, but what was your name?"

  "Jessica Alba," she said, never one to give her real name when a pseudonym would do.

  Jamie was at home on Monday morning, getting ready for her afternoon classes. She answered the ringing phone, concerned to hear her mother's voice-sounding horribly upset. "Jamie, did you read the paper today?"

  Thinking back a few hours, she replied, "Uhm, yes, I read the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. Why? What's wrong, Mom?"

  With
a heavy sigh, Catherine steeled herself and said, "The Chronicle had a gossipy little blurb about my divorce. I'm so sorry to pull you into the spotlight again, honey, but they mentioned your name, too. Then, just a few minutes ago, I had the television on, and they reported on it. They're talking about my divorce, but they had to include a picture of you and Ryan."

  She sounded so anxious and distressed that Jamie immediately tried to soothe her. "It'll be okay, Mom. This kind of thing doesn't last long. It'll blow over by tomorrow."

  "Oh! I'm not upset about having my name mentioned," Catherine insisted. "I'm upset because they're dragging you two into the whole mess."

  "Mom, don't be silly," Jamie said. "It doesn't bother us to have our names mentioned; we just don't want people chasing us. That hasn't happened to you, has it?" she asked.

  "No, not at all. I just don't want you to be harassed any longer."

  "We're fine," Jamie insisted. "Once you've been the top gossip story in the country for a few weeks, you really do get used to it. Which brings me to the reason I was going to call you," she said.

  "I don't like the sound of that," Catherine said. "What's wrong?"

  "I might be jumping back into the limelight, and I wanted to talk to you a bit before I made up my mind."

  "You might voluntarily jump back in?" Catherine asked, a note of incredulity in her voice.

  "Yeah. Hard to believe, right?"

  "So far, definitely."

  Jamie told her mother the entire story, and at the end of her explanation, Catherine asked, "Do you want advice, honey, or are you just letting me know?"

  The younger woman smiled. "That's such a perfect way to respond, Mom. When you put it that way, I guess I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about doing it. If you have any major objections I'm glad to listen to them, but if not, I'd like to make up my own mind."

  "Go right ahead. This is between you and your father."

  "And my community," Jamie added. "I hate to be put into the role of representing the gay people of California, but I probably have more weight with the media than anyone else right now. I hate that, but I can't ignore it."