The Dead Rise (Book 1): Zombies and Chainsaws

by Evans, Mike

  Bill said, “Nah I don't think they're going to let us go, hell the HR department already left for the day. They got to have us talk to them before they fire your ass so we can fill out unemployment shit.”

  Matt just stared, “You did not make me feel a damn bit better.”

  Bill said, “I got just the thing for you brother, call me a problem solver. I'll make you a deal.”

  Matt said, “A deal?”

  Bill said, "You got it, Matt. You get fired I buy you a beer, now I follow that beer up with another one, another, and another until you don't worry about not having a job no more or you pass out, whichever happens first."

  Matt said, “And if we get promoted?”

  Bill smiled, “Well hell we celebrate with beer goddamn it, it ain't every day two bums like us get a step up in the world. It would just go to show all those college graduates that two guys with a GED can do just goddamn fine in the world.”

  Bill slapped Matt on the knee jumping in his seat and then clapping his hands. He could already see the management title on his new office door he had been daydreaming about all day. It was the first thing he’d thought of when he got the memo from Mr. Phelps that he wanted to see them.

  The doorknob rattled to Phelps’ office and as confident as Bill was his heart was still in the back of his throat. Phelps stuck his head out of his office. The tall man towered over the two sitting in the waiting room chairs.

  Phelps said, “Boys why don't y’all come in here and let's have us a little conversation.”

  He disappeared back into his office not waiting for the two men to stand and left the door ajar for them. Matt looked over to Bill and said, “Alright genius do we have conversations when we are getting our dumb asses fired?”

  Bill pushed up from his seat trying to stretch his shirt over his belly and said, "How the hell would I know? I can't believe you go talking about us getting a promotion and then he comes out talking about a conversation and we go and get bad Kashmir."

  Matt pushed up from his seat also wondering if this would be his last minutes working at Evans Inc. or not. He looked at Bill for a second shaking his head and said, "It's called karma not Kashmir you dip shit. Is it nice living in your world? Do the little voices that tell you about the dumb shit in your head make you feel better at night? It must be nice, I have always heard that ignorance is bliss, and I think that just might be the one thing you are most definitely blessed with."

  Bill pushed the door open for himself and Matt and said, "Best not to worry about shit that is out of our control. Let's get this over with.”

  Matt whispered, “Either way we're getting goddamn drunk tonight.”

  Bill patted Matt on the shoulder and whispered, “Amen brother, amen.”

  They both walked in to see Phelps sitting at his desk where even seated he still looked gigantic. It was just after six o'clock on a Friday and he had a coffee cup with a large bottle of Jack Daniels sitting right next to it.

  Matt smiled pointing at the bottle, "Are you celebrating tonight sir?"

  Phelps shook his head no as he took the bottle unscrewing the cap to it and depositing a very healthy amount of the amber colored liquid into his dirty coffee cup. He said with just a bit of slur in his voice, “Gentleman thank you for coming in on a Friday night. I'm sure you have better things you could be doing with your time.”

  Neither man was quite sure how to take that so they remained quiet for a moment longer. Bill couldn’t help himself letting there be quiet in the room and said, “No problem at all sir we are always here for you and this great …”

  Phelps cut him off interrupting, "Cut the shit, Bill, it's been a long damn week and I don't have the patience for it. Is there a reason you two are still standing? You are kind of creeping me out. Were you under the impression this was going to be a short talk? Sit down, now!"

  The two men looked at each other nervously taking a seat, and Matt, of course, followed Bill's lead. Matt said, "Uh are we in trouble sir, did we do something wrong?"

  Phelps picked up the coffee cup swirling it around on the inside appearing to contemplate something before deciding that tonight was not going to be a sipping night. He would surely pay for it tomorrow but as of today could give two flying shits. He took the cup back slamming all the whiskey with one large drink. From the look on his face you would have thought he had just taken a drink of water, the burn did not affect him whatsoever. Bill who did not mean to actually say something said, "Damn sir you did have a long week. Is there something we can do to help you? If we did anything wrong or if we're in trouble I'd like to know, please."

  Phelps smiled and actually started laughing as he poured himself a second even more generous round of whiskey.

  "This whole goddamn country is in trouble boys. We got too many bastards getting into politics and all they are doing is fucking what ain't already broken up. They make it damn difficult for a hardworking man, like myself to keep a business. All they do is stand in and lobby against chemical factories trying to make the people of America fear us. They ignore the fact that we give people good paying jobs that keep them from standing on the streets looking for a damn hand out. Keep them from going out stealing and getting into all kinds of goddamned trouble. Christ, they owe me a damn award or something. Have the two of you been watching the news lately?"

  Both men shrugged. Neither were avid watchers of the news, at least not for more than five minutes a day when the sports were on.

  "You two boys weren't too big on school were you?"

  Bill opened his mouth to talk and Phelps cut him off holding up a hand. He said, "Bill that's what you call a rhetorical question, don't answer. I already know the answer. There's a new law that goes into effect boys. You see they're going to make us redesign everything here. Hell, it'll probably put me under. We are going to have to pay fees and taxes and fines on every barrel worth of shit we got here on hand. Well, you know we got a lot of barrels right? If you add that to the fee I'm going to have to pay just to try and keep this open, it'll leave me without a dime to my goddamn name. On top of all that, we'd be stuck with all this shit and wouldn't be able to get rid of any of our waste. All those barrels of shit is just going to have to stack on stack on stack on everywhere. We are going to have it coming out our asses by the time we're done."

  Bill said, “That's horrible sir, it's too bad we couldn't get rid of it.”

  Phelps smiled pulling out a cigarette from his pack he offered one to the two men who both declined. He said, “You two boys don't mind if I light up a cigarette do you?”

  The two went to answer again and Phelps said, "Rhetorical. Again boys I don't give a shit. As of today it is still my office and my building. The way I look at it, if you don't like it then you can just get the fuck out if you got a problem with it. Bill, you had a hell of an idea though son."

  Bill pointed to himself and Phelps nodded his head.

  Bill said, “I did sir?”

  "Yes, you did. You see this new law they got, well it is going to go into effect tomorrow. Any chance you boys can tell me what today is?"

  Bill stared intently looking like he was going to jump out of his seat.

  Phelps said, “Now this one is not a rhetorical question son.”

  Bill sat up straight in his seat. “Tomorrow is Saturday sir it's our day off sir. Today is Friday.”

  Phelps smiled leaning back in his seat. “That's right son it is Friday, and if we don't get rid of some of this waste I'd say just about every day is going to be your day off. You know the kind of day off, where you don't get paid. Do you two like getting paid?”

  Both men nodded slowly in the affirmative. Phelps continued, "Well if we don't get rid of this you're not going to be having any paid days, hell no one including myself is. Can you imagine what will happen to the people and what all the businesses in the city will have to do if this place shuts down? Hell, probably eighty percent of adults work here in the city. All the other business in town will go to shit in a ha
ndbag in no time at all. What I need from you guys is to get rid of some of the waste, simple as that. Let me tell you, it won't soon be forgotten if you can step up and do your part. You'd forever have a place here as long as y'all want it."

  Matt said, “Then you are saying you are sure it's not illegal?”

  Phelps held out a hand tipping it from side to side. “Son sometimes we have to question the legality the government puts before us. Do you understand what that means?”

  Matt said, “It means maybe if I want to keep my job, that maybe I don't need to ask so many questions, is that about it sir?”

  Phelps smiled lighting up the cigarette. He pulled out two additional stained brown mugs setting them on the desk and poured a decent shot worth of the whiskey into each of them. He slid them across the desk towards each of the two men and held up his own saying, “Salut.”

  They looked at each other realizing they probably didn't have a choice but to take the shot. Bill said, “Where is it we are supposed to take the stuff to sir?”

  Phelps said, "I'd like to know as little about where it goes as possible so I have as much legal deniability as possible. Just make sure you take it a long way away from here, please. I don't want this shit coming back on us. You drive slowly, you take the limit on the speed, and you make goddamn sure that you do it when it is dark which given the time of day shouldn't be hard. Is there anything about that you can't comprehend?"

  Both men shook their heads no. Matt said, “I got an idea where we can go sir, leave it up to me.”

  Phelps leaned back in his chair crossing his legs wondering how much more he needed to know, and if he should ask any more questions or if they could actually come through and deliver for him.

  He said, "Just make sure you two don't fuck this up. There are a lot of people riding on this and it cost me a lot of money to find out the information that I did when I did. The senators might look like upstanding individuals, but they are also the most crooked sons of bitches there are. If it was up to me they'd have stripes on them just like the boys down in county prison do working on the chain gang."

  Matt held up his hands and said, “We got this sir we can take care of it. We like this place right fine and we don't want to worry about losing our jobs, or our friends losing theirs. This town is like family. Just remember how good we did if anything hits the fan if you know what I mean.”

  Phelps opened his desk drawer and pulled out a set of keys and tossed them to Matt. He also pulled out two blue envelopes. He tossed one in front of Matt and the second in front of Bill.

  “Now you two guys take this, think of it as my thank you, don't go opening these until you're out of here you understand? You both go down and you see Thornbrugh in the shipping docks, he's going to get you going and you guys leave and you don't come back ‘til you're done. He doesn't know what you're doing and you don't know what he's doing. Keep it that way. Remember sometimes ignorance is bliss.”

  The trio smiled, well aware they had an agreement and they understood what the job at hand was. Phelps poured a third round for himself and did not offer the boys a second pour. He swirled it again, staring into the cup and when he looked back up at the two still sitting there watching him.

  He said, "Is there a reason you're still sitting on your asses? Get the fuck up and out and get moving boys. What you got to do is going to take you the better part of the night. Now you two get outta here, and you do it now damn it! Go, go, go!"

  Both men almost tripped over each other racing to try and be the first to get out of the office. Neither man had ever been happier to leave somewhere in their entire life. Phelps yelled at them as they were pushing out the door, "Hey take the envelopes too dip shits. Think of it as a bonus and I guarantee that offer won’t happen twice. You make sure you drive safe. I'd hate to be the one sitting in that semi cab and having to worry about those fumes and liquid in that tanker."

  Neither of the men needed to be told that they did not want to inhale any of the toxic fumes that were in that truck, today hadn’t been their first day. Matt grabbed the envelopes handing one to Bill and pushed him through the doorway and back into the waiting room outside of his office.

  Chapter Six

  Night Shift

  Matt gripped Bill‘s shoulder and said, "Hey are we really going to go through with this?"

  Bill said, "Well I didn't see you running and throwing the money back in his face. You gotta do what you gotta do brother, unfortunately, we don't always have the best options put in front of us. But yes, I plan on driving that rig down and drop it off somewhere and dumping all that shit out of there."

  Matt said, "Aren't you worried at all about what is going to go into the ground? You know how bad that shit is they put in there to make those chemicals. There is no way the stuff that's left over is any good. What about the farmland? I don't think my spots going to work."

  Bill said, “I think I got a pretty good idea where we could dump it off.”

  “Where?”

  Bill said, “Simple, we go dump it off at the cemetery, you know damn well people only go there twice a year to visit their kin. Memorial Day and Veterans Day and probably when the people died that's about it. Might be why you don't see too many fresh flowers. Hundreds of people out there nobody worries about what they're doing because they're dead. I can't say I'm an angel cause I don't go see my mom either.”

  “So you want to go dump it with the dead bodies, is that what you're saying?”

  “It’s either that or we could go dump it on farmland we're going to be eating off of. That sound like a good time to you? You want the cow you’re going to eat to be sucking down grass covered in this shit?”

  “Hell no I don't, shit you’d probably end up with cancer. So sounds like we need to hit the cemetery huh?”

  "It’s the only thing I can think of man, other than dropping the money back off with Phelps but I can't imagine the shit storm we'd be looking at if we try to tell him we didn't want to do it. He's putting everything into us, all the faith, the company, and the town’s well-being. Hell, we are almost heroes doing this. It's a lot on a man's shoulder to tell you the truth."

  Matt nodded his head and opened the envelope pulling out a stack of twenties that had to have been at least eight hundred dollars. He knew he’d be able to pay the mortgage on his house for at least a few months if not longer. Bill did the same whistling as he ran a finger through the stack letting it fan them. He saw the large amount staring back at him which solidified their intentions. They both tucked the money back in their overalls. The struggles running through their heads were stressing the two men out a little less now. Matt looked down at his hand tossing the keys up and down in them thinking of what he was about to go and do. He knew the guard downstairs already most likely had the truck gassed up and ready to go.

  They nodded to each other and hit the button to go downstairs. They took the elevator to the loading docks where a guard was sitting out back having a cigarette. When they came out he pushed up off the side of the building and stubbed out his smoke. Matt walked up waving a hand, the guard pointed at one of the semis. The two looked at it and saw the large liquid container was attached to the back of it.

  The guard said, “You boys take that one, you understand. Don't take any other one, you take just that one and when that son of a bitch is empty you bring it back, park it and then forget you ever saw it. You got any questions, because if you do I don’t give a shit. Oh and Phelps radioed down and reminded me to tell y’all don’t go fucking this up.”

  He pulled out a fresh smoke from inside his jacket and the two could see a blue envelope sticking out of his shirt as well that looked much like the one they had been given. The men nodded and shook their heads climbing into the cab, both of them wondering if this was just another stepping stone on the way to hell that they went through with it. Matt turned the truck over and checked the air brakes. Bill strapped on a seat belt and cranked the radio the Devil Went Down to Georgia was blaring over t
he speakers.

  Matt said, "You think that's a bad sign?"

  Bill shrugged, “It might just be a kick ass song brother. It probably doesn't have anything to do with the bad karma we’re going to be picking up real goddamn soon but like I said, at least we aren't dumping it on citizens. We’re taking it out to the dead, they aren’t going to give two shits.”

  Matt put the truck in gear and pulled out slowly. Phelps stared down at them from his office a drink in one hand and a smoke in the other. As they drove away he looked at the lights of the city thinking of himself as the savior as long as he didn't get caught.

  They took the drive slowly as directed and took their time going down the empty highway. The words of Phelps ringing in the back of their mind that they did not want to be in a crash with the waste that was in the back of the truck. They drove through town thinking about the citizens, lying to themselves that they were doing some good for everyone including themselves. Matt pointed where they were pulling in and Bill swung out of the truck helping him navigate the big rig that just barely fit on the small gravel road that ran behind the cemetery.

  When Matt let the truck roll to a stop they walked up over the hill looking around at the cemetery and making sure that everything looked on the up and up, as expected it was as dead as could be. People seem to have had better things to do on a Friday night. They went back down looking at the rig and started attaching the hose so they could dump the waste in the exact spot they wanted to. Bill walked over to turn the second engine on to push the liquid out faster and Matt snapped, “Leave that damn thing off. We don’t want the sounds of that engine making someone come over here and seeing what the two of us are doing. There ain’t no explanation about what we are doing that is a good one.”

  Bill removed his hand from the lever looking at it and said, “You do realize this is gonna take the entire damn night don’t ya?”