by Allie Hayden
My voice was stern, but Lillian wasn’t one to believe any of my threats. Still, as I left the room to make breakfast, she realized I did have a point. She didn’t know what she might miss by calling in sick today, and there was no excuse to. She was functioning perfectly fine, and the day would be over before we knew it. Besides, I knew she enjoyed her job, no matter how much she might grumble about waking up.
I waited in the kitchen as I heard her emerge from under the pile of blankets, taking a quick shower in my pristine and modern bathroom. I got out all of the ingredients I needed to start the cooking only after listening for Lillian’s compliancy to my urging her out of bed.
When Lillian emerged from the bedroom, she was wearing a mismatched top and bottom. I smiled warmly and felt grateful that she was even there. The smell from the chocolate chip pancakes was filling the kitchen while the batter formed into edible dough. There was a bowl of fruit on the counter ready to be made into toppings.
My pancakes were always the perfect shape. And I’d been asked time before if I counted out the chocolate chips for each one to make sure they were equally distributed. Lillian sat down at one of the bar stools, thanking me as I slid her a steaming plate, complete with maple syrup and cut strawberries.
“I see you decided to get up after all,” I said with a wink.
Menacingly, Lillian pointed a fork at my direction. “That’s all your fault, you know.”
“I think you mean, ‘thank you, Sebastian, for making sure I got up and making me a wonderful breakfast.’”
“Thank you, Sebastian, for making sure I got up and making me a wonderful breakfast,” Lillian mocked, snorting as I pointed my spatula at her.
“We might have to do something about that attitude later, young lady,” I said suggestively.
“Don’t you young lady me; I’ll young man you right back,” Lillian teased.
I laughed and kissed her. “That’s definitely the Lillian I know. Now, eat up.”
The breakfast was quite delicious, Lillian had to admit. She couldn’t stop making comments about how the pancakes were just the right amount of crispy, and how the strawberries tasted so fresh. She could barely speak a word as she ate, and I devoured my plate next to her. There was a sense of peace during the whole interaction. That maybe everything was going to be alright.
It was nice that the two of us could be comfortable in this silence. It was something from when we were younger, the ability to exist together without the need to say or do anything. I was comforted by just her presence. We finished breakfast, and Lillian was pulling out her phone to order herself some sort of ride when I spoke, making her look up.
“Want me to drive you to work?”
“Don’t you have to get to work too?” she asked, a little confused.
“I can come into the office late if need be. Besides, none of the cases my firm has currently are too large, so I can afford to be a little late. I have other work that I need to attend to.”
Of course, I was talking about Bella and making sure that everything with her was taken care of. In that way only I knew how.
“Are you absolutely sure you don’t have connections to the mob?” she teased, and I just kissed her.
“Maybe one day, you’ll actually find out.”
When I arrived at the office after dropping Lillian off, the first thing I did was let my subordinates know that they would be pretty much on their own for the day, as I had many other things that needed tending to.
Then I sat down in my large chair behind the desk and began trying to figure out exactly how I might deal with the whole situation. Though Lillian liked to tease me about it, and I her, I did not have any connections with the mafia, or the mob, or any of those sorts, to my dismay. Besides, even if I did, I didn’t know if this would be a situation I would want to call them in on.
I did, however, know a few of the people that managed the New York Ballet Company, but I still had to figure out exactly what I wanted to say to them, or even what they might be able to do in the end. They probably wouldn’t be down with throwing Lucas out altogether. He was probably a good dancer, so I knew it would be difficult to pin some sort of fault on him, but I also wanted justice to be served. Finally, I picked up the phone and dialed one of my closer friends at the company.
“Sebastian, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Raphael asked as soon as he picked up.
“I have some important matters I wanted to discuss. I was hoping you might be available to meet for lunch?”
“Today? I don’t know, I was planning on meeting my daughter—”
“They’re very urgent matters. I’m sure your daughter will understand.”
He owed me; he knew that much. There were so many times where I broke my back to help him out in the past.
“Of course. Twelve then? Same place as usual?” he asked finally.
“I will see you there, Raphael.”
“Likewise. See you at lunch.”
It seemed like too long until lunch, and I was anxious to get the meeting over, though I couldn’t say the same about having Lillian move back to her apartment. I just wanted to know that things were on their way to being tidied up, that Bella was safe, that this whole business would be behind me completely, and there would be nothing else to worry about.
I couldn’t stand to have loose threads. Metaphorical, or physical. To me, everything had its place, and time was a valuable asset that shouldn’t be wasted. The time passed eventually, and then I was sitting in a private lounge at an upper-class steakhouse near the theater.
Raphael entered not long after, looking smart in a dark red suit and silk navy blue tie.
He was a younger man, by the standards of the business, the dark curly hair pulled away from his face and well-kept beard, though a little gray was starting to show. He was one of my closer friends, had been for a while. We had met through my mother, who enjoyed attending the theater and the ballet, and had been friends ever since.
“What was it you wanted to talk to me about?” Raphael asked after we placed our orders for steak and wine. “What was so urgent?”
“A rather…disturbing issue has been brought to my attention recently,” I began. “One of your male dancers, along with harassing and stalking a female employee, has been threatening me and my reputation. Now, you can understand why that would concern me, as I’d rather not have anyone spreading false rumors, or getting hurt.”
“Of course, of course, but you have to understand, I need more details before I can do anything about this—”
I cut him off with a glance. “The dancer is named Lucas. And as I understand it, he has a bright future in dance ahead of him. Unless you want me to convince the young lady who came to me to go to court against him—and I can assure you we will win—I would suggest you relocate him, permanently.”
“What do you mean?” Raphael asked, the expression on his face quizzical and concerned.
“I understand he traveled to London for a while as an exchange with their company there. Surely you can manage to convince him that that is best for his career, and meanwhile warn the establishment against his past grievances so that they do not happen again.”
“I do not know if the company in London would want to take him if we told them that.”
“There are other ways to go about it, dear friend. Tell them, say, that the reason he is leaving is that a rather passionate relationship he was in with one of your employees ended disastrously. Have them warn their female employees not to engage in any such exchange with him. That should suffice.”
“I guess.” Raphael considered this proposition for a moment, looking back to me as he did so. “You have to understand, though, Sebastian, this is not something I’m particularly fond of the idea of. And I’m really only doing it because you are a dear friend, and what you are telling me deeply concerns me. I trust you are telling the truth?”
“Always, friend.”
“Then I shall have it done as you suggest. It will tak
e a few weeks, but in the meantime, I can keep Lucas away from this woman. Where did you say she worked?”
“In the costume workshop. I would also advise you keep him later—he’s followed her home before, and I would rather it not happen again when I’ve just relocated her.”
“Of course, we can do that.”
The conversation was interrupted as the waitress came back with two plates of steak and two glasses of fine red wine.
“I trust we can toast to a problem solved then?” I asked with a smile, picking up my wine glass.
“A toast it is,” Raphael replied, lifting his own to clink against mine.
We both drank, and the conversation turned to lighter things. We chatted about business, and our current lives—though I left a lot of the recent events out. I felt I needed time to sort through them on my own before I let Raphael get a word in. It was still a lot to think about, and a lot to figure out. But I hoped that things were finally headed in a better direction.
27. (Lillian)
Meghan came over to my desk almost as soon as I sat down, a look of absolute glee on her face as she presented another envelope.
“Your last story was an utter success!” she said, barely containing her excitement. “There are so many places that are practically begging to have you take photographs for them. Our next issue already has over twenty offers, but the theater won out by far. For your next story, you get to photograph behind the scenes of a Broadway Musical!”
I had no idea what to say. This was truly a situation that rendered me speechless, in every sense of the word.
“You’re really moving up in the world, Lillian,” Meghan said with another smile, setting the envelope down on my desk with a little pat.
Then she walked away, swishing back to her office. I really could not believe it. I had never dreamed it—I had dreams before, for sure, of photography, of being successful, but photographing behind the scenes of Broadway?
It seemed too good to be true. It felt like I was an actress and was making my debut here. I imagined this was what it must’ve felt like. Or maybe different—this was Broadway asking me to photograph the goings-on—not me auditioning for them.
It was strange.
Everything in my life had been strange recently, and I supposed that I should know by now that that was just the way of things. There had been so much excitement, and now I was even back together with Sebastian. We had another chance at this, another chance at being friends turned lovers. Who knew what might come out of it, the pathways we might explore?
As it turned out, those pathways were fairly mundane compared to the excited events of those few weeks. There was no more drama, no more intrigue, and thankfully, no more creeps like Lucas. It only took two weeks to get him out of the company and on his way to London. It was all thanks to Sebastian too.
He was able to exercise his lawyer abilities for good and help a poor soul like Bella out. So here we were, weeks later. From a point of looking like there might’ve more darkness ahead, we’d come out of all that, and things were looking up for all of us.
As I gathered my things together, I smiled at the thought of seeing Sebastian tonight. We had plans to have dinner and possibly go for a stroll in the park. We had so much to catch up on it felt like, and although we were both busy, we made time to see each other regularly. Sebastian and I savored our time together, tiring ourselves out to the point where we had to call in sick so that we could stay in bed and just relax and catch up on sleep.
Those weeks seemed magical.
To live in that kind of proximity with another human being, especially one I was falling in love with, it did wonders to bring us closer together. I found myself laughing and crying more times than I could count.
And Sebastian opened up too. About his need to be so controlling and dominant. About what had happened after he had left with his family for New York, how his dad branched off in the large city when his family all moved together. And to him, branching off meant finding other women. Left alone with his mother, Sebastian had felt the need to take a more commanding stance, to keep things together, to comfort his mother when both of them were hurting.
After learning that, a lot more things made sense to me. Why he had acted as he did when the two of us first reconnected by chance. How he had known what to say when Bella was scared and confused. How he had changed since I knew him as a teenager. He was much softer then. More ready to make mistakes. Not as closed off to the world as the Sebastian he could sometimes be now.
But in those few weeks, I began to see more of that soft, open boy in him, as he told me things he had never told anyone else before. It was one fateful Wednesday when I decided to stay an hour late after work. I’d been working hard, finishing up any remaining editing to do, when I looked up from my desk, and there was a familiar face was in the lobby.
It was Ash. He had managed to find his way to my workplace and past reception. He spotted me through the glass doors of my workspace, and we both made eye contact, although my face didn’t show much welcome. He walked over to me, shyly giving me a glance that was resplendent of hope. Hope to maybe talk again.
“Ash. What are you doing here?” I was surprised, completely caught off guard by my visitor.
“I came to find you. I wanted to talk about what happened between us.”
“You should’ve thought of that a while ago.”
“Lillian, I wanted to come here to apologize.”
“Apologize for what? Listen, Ash…” My voice was trembling now. I really didn’t want to deal with it at that moment.
Those emotions were long past due, and I could finally see where my intentions lie. They were with Sebastian, and I no longer had feelings for Ash. I finally realized who it was all along. This entire time, the love of my life was lying right under my nose. And Ash, sadly, was just a distraction from that.
“Ash. I’m sorry. I’m with someone else now. And there’s nothing you can say or do to make me change my mind about him. I’ve made my choice.” I was stern, and I was solid.
For once in my entire life, I didn’t feel uncertain or wishy-washy. For once in my life, I was confident in what I wanted. It showed. The next words hit Ash like a truck because he knew I was serious.
“You need to let me go.”
These words cut through Ash like a bullet; I could see it in his eyes. I was serious in my conviction, and it made Ash realize it was useless to try to fight. I had made up my mind.
After a few grueling moments of silence, he finally spoke. “I understand.”
His head hung low as he gazed at me through furrowed brows, avoiding eye contact as not to exchange sympathetic energy. “I’m sorry for everything, Lillian. I’ll always care about you.”
I could not bring myself to respond. I knew any reciprocation would hurt us both. And more than anything else, I just wanted to move on. In a way, I loved Ash enough to allow him to move on too. And above all, my feelings for Sebastian came to light, and I knew for certain I wasn’t making the wrong choice.
I fought back any urge to say that last word to him. I wanted it to end. It didn’t matter how. As long as we were both able to be free again.
And that was that. Ash left down the elevator, out the doors, and out of my life. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Bella and Rebecca found a sort of happiness too. Left alone, the two of them soon discovered—as Bella helped Rebecca with her Etsy orders when she got home from work—that their feelings were mutual.
One accidental—or maybe not so accidental—kiss later, and the two of them were stumbling their way through their own relationship, coming with its own challenges. Especially at the thought of Bella moving back to her old apartment.
Romance aside, the two of them had become such close friends in that time that they couldn’t soon stand the thought of parting ways again. So, Rebecca petitioned her brother to find them a larger apartment. Maybe somewhere closer to him, so that all four of us might be content.
And that was where we found ourselves now, Sebastian helping the three of us to move into our new place. Rebecca and Bella were sneaking kisses as they grabbed boxes from the moving van, and I pretended not to see them. I was trying my best to keep things organized, even though that had never been my strong suit.
It was looking to be a good move and a good life moving forward; I just hoped that it would last. The day had finally passed by, and the boxes had all been finished being carried up to the new apartment upstairs. And I was left in my room to ponder and revel in my now-appearance.
I gazed into my own eyes in the floor-length mirror in the bedroom, moving a strand of hair to the side to frame my face. Quietly, Sebastian entered the room and slowly made his way behind me. He grabbed me by the waist, and I wanted him never to let go as I felt him bury himself into my neck.
“You make me happy, Lily.”
I felt as if I was in a place removed from time completely, under a spell. To me, it still didn’t feel real, even though I knew deep down that it was. It didn’t take long for him to melt beneath me, and the memories began to pour in.
The first time we had kissed, it had been rough, sloppy, unpracticed, but now I knew what I was doing. I knew how to keep romance in it, how to give him exactly what he wanted, exactly what he needed, and how to make myself feel good at the same time.
Without words, we came into our rhythm, going slow as if admitting what we were doing would shatter the reality. I knew there was no going back now, so I pulled him closer, entwining my fingers through his hair as he let out a pleased gasp against me.
His pace increased, nipping at my lips, teasing me so gently that I wanted to tell him that it was okay to be a little rougher. But I enjoyed this. I enjoyed this side of him; it felt like having him back again. All of him.