Microsoft Word - MeantForEachOther.doc

by Allison

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  D.H. Starr

  Meant For Each Other

  Craig stared, distracted at the computer screen in his office. In spite of the huge success of Boris’s party on Saturday, all he could think of was Jeremy. What a miracle.

  An unbelievable surprise. In his mind he replayed their kiss over and over, his body reacting strongly each time. Fifteen years had passed, yet just thinking of kissing Jeremy caused his cock to stir.

  Their reunion had brought up old skeletons as well, some he wasn’t sure he was ready to face. Their one kiss had been incredible, but for weeks afterward, he had difficulty sleeping, pining over Jeremy, wondering why he hadn’t been aware his best friend wanted the same things he had longed for.

  All of junior year, he had basically existed through week days, looking forward to weekend calls. When the calls waned to every other week, then once a month, he had gone into a depression and shut off from all of his friends, thinking no one would understand. How could they? He never came out in high school.

  The only thing preventing him from calling Jeremy more frequently was his fear that Jeremy was pulling away from him. If he pushed, he might make Jeremy stop calling altogether. That was a pain he knew he would not be able to live with. He took what he could get, but each time Jeremy called, his depression would rage within him and it took him longer and longer to recover each time.

  In college, he had made a lot of friends, many of them gay, but even in the middle of fourteen-thousand people, he still felt terribly alone. No matter how many friends he made, none compared to Jeremy. He enjoyed the gay students, but as soon as Craig found himself alone with any of them, they would hit on him, not really interested in friendship at all. He learned the hard way after a few hook-ups that gay men often lost interest after they had sex with someone. Those encounters managed to reinforce for him how different others were from Jeremy and how much he had lost. After meeting Janet he let go of his depression, and moved forward.

  Thoughts of Robert snapped Craig back to the present. Robert had been a jackass Saturday evening, doing everything Craig had asked him not to do and getting drunk on top of it. Boris had been too busy to pay attention to him and every time he turned around to find out what new mess Robert created, someone seemed to be searching for a reason to get away from him. Craig learned later, Robert had been plugging him to anyone who would listen. Their ride home had been silent and the argument when they got to their apartment had been ugly. One of their ugliest yet.

  Craig had been furious and had accused Robert of deliberately embarrassing him.

  Robert, in his typical cocky manner, had said he would push Craig’s career if he refused to promote himself. The comment had thrown Craig over the edge. Why was Robert so obsessed with his career? Didn’t Robert have enough to worry about with his own job?

  Craig even went so far as to accuse Robert of wanting him as a showpiece. He even suggested that Robert’s feelings for him ran parallel with the amount of money he made.

  Robert, of course, accused him of being dramatic, but Craig didn’t care, finally vocalizing what he had been thinking for years. The last connection between the two of 69

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  them was sex and even that was faltering. The one question which Craig couldn’t answer was why he stayed with Robert when it made him so unhappy.

  He wondered what had caused him to blow after so many years of keeping a lid on his emotions, but the answer was obvious. He had seen Jeremy. Jeremy had always stood up for him growing up. He believed in Craig, even when Craig didn’t believe in himself and he had been a better and happier person because of him.

  Andrew seemed to be a terrific guy, genuine, kind, good looking, and successful.

  But more than anything, Craig had seen how Andrew looked at Jeremy with love and affection. Jealousy crept up Craig’s spine. He missed loving someone and being loved in return. His heart had risen to his throat with excitement when Jeremy had called to invite the two of them to dinner. The mere thought of seeing Jeremy, even if he couldn’t be with him, caused his head to spin and butterflies to flit about in his stomach.

  Memories of high school and his first year of college flooded his mind. He had closed himself off for three years after Jeremy moved. Maybe Jeremy had allowed their friendship to fade, something he never understood, yet now, only memories of the person who he had grown up with and loved filled his mind. All of the hurt and pain was a distant echo of a time that had passed.

  He turned off his computer, stood up, popped in to say goodnight to Janet, and headed out to get ready for dinner.

  * * * * *

  The buzzer rang at seven o’clock. “My God they’re prompt.” Swamped in the kitchen, Jeremy rushed between counters with several pots simmering at once. “Andrew, get the door. I have to stay with the food.”

  Andrew gave Jeremy’s shoulder a squeeze before leaving him in the kitchen to buzz Craig and Robert in. Once Andrew left, Jeremy gripped the edge of the counter tight enough for the whites of his knuckles to show through. He took in a deep breath and counted. One, two, three, four, five. Exhaling, he allowed the breath to exit slowly through pursed lips, relieving pent up tension.

  A few minutes later, he heard the front door being opened. “Hey guys, welcome to our not-so-humble abode.”

  Jeremy shook his head. Goofball. He wiped his hands on a towel, smoothed out the front of his shirt, and made sure no chicken fat had stained his pants before heading out of the kitchen. The kitchen had been hot, but that didn’t account for his sweaty palms.

  Blood coursed through his veins, the thrum of each heartbeat sounding in the back of his ears. “Craig, Robert, you guys are right on time.”

  Craig stepped forward and handed Jeremy a bottle of red wine. “I wanted to bring something and figured red wine would be safe.” He squinted his eyes and inhaled audibly through his nose. “That smell…are you cooking Mom’s roasted chicken?”

  Jeremy’s heart squeezed. “You bet. The scent—“

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  “Brings me right back to dinner at my house.”

  “Exactly.” Jeremy beamed at Craig whose smile had spread across his face.

  Robert turned to Andrew. “I’d love a tour of the place. Let these two gab about growing up and old memories and shit.”

  Andrew grinned. “Sure, let me show you around.”

  When they were gone, Craig turned to Jeremy. “Right now I’m thirteen and it’s the beginning of fall. Let me guess, red bliss potatoes and carrots simmering with chunks of garlic and chicken grizzle. Rosemary and cayenne pepper rub on the chicken itself, and sautéed green-beans with sliced almonds—“

  “And a hint of butter,” Jeremy finished for him, his heart pounding. How he wished in that moment they really were thirteen and standing in Craig’s kitchen. To have that chance again and do it right this time.

  Scents of the meal enveloped him. Roasted chicken, rosemary, baked potatoes, each smell bringing him back to a time before he had experienced loss. “It’s great to see you Jer.” He walked the couple of steps to his friend, embracing him in a hug. Feeling Jeremy in his arms once again, surrounded by the nostalgic aromas, filled him with contentment. Without pulling away, Craig joked. “The night my mom taught us how to make this was a pivotal day in my life.” Finally, slowly, he released Jeremy and cleared his throat, his gaze trapped by Jeremy’s piercing eyes. “Let’s go into the kitchen,” he said softly. Jeremy nodded and led Craig from the living room.

  In the kitchen, Craig opened the oven and inhaled. “Yup, that’s it, Jer.”

  Jeremy interrupted his absorption with the food. “The look on your face tells me you are excited to eat.”

  Craig looked up. “Are you kidding? I remember every single time mom made this for us. How much longer?”

  Jeremy laughed. “Maybe thirty minutes.” He poured Cr
aig a glass of wine. “Would you like some? We have a bit of a selection. Andrew went a little nuts and bought five different bottles.”

  Craig walked over to the counter. “Hm, let’s see. Ah, this will do.” He picked up the bottle of Rosemount Shiraz. “How about you?”

  Jeremy nodded, lost in the blue of Craig’s eyes. Over the years, every time he looked at the sky on a brilliant autumn day, he thought of those eyes.

  Craig poured two glasses. Jeremy watched him, listening to the faint rattling sound of the bottle neck clinking against the glass. His hand is shaking. Is he nervous? Craig handed the glass to Jeremy, maintaining eye contact with him the whole time. As Jeremy reached to take the glass from him, their fingers touched and Craig dipped his glance to the point of contact.

  Jeremy raised his glass and they clinked. “To renewed friendship.”

  “To renewed friendship.” Craig touched his glass to Jeremy’s, holding Jeremy’s gaze the whole time.

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  With his heart still pounding, Jeremy took a sip, savoring the momentary bite of the tannin in the wine, and the subtle but fruity flavor of the grape. He set his glass down on the counter, and looked at Craig. Seeing him in his kitchen, standing before him in the flesh, in the deliciously smooth flesh, with mounded muscles, not too big, but very masculine, gave Jeremy the urge to grab him, to kiss him and erase fifteen wasted years.

  He took another quick sip of wine, grateful for the relaxing burn of it in his veins.

  Craig set down his glass too. A shy look came over his features. “You know, somehow it doesn’t feel like any time has passed.”

  Jeremy’s cheeks heated and he suspected they had become flushed. “I know what you mean, but at the same time it seems like too much time has passed.”

  Craig remained silent for a moment and Jeremy witnessed the red hue creep into place on his face and neck. “Yeah. That too.” He cleared his throat and asked a question which threw Jeremy off balance. “How long have you and Andrew been together?”

  Jeremy took another sip of wine. Craig’s eyes were focused on him and his face contained an expression Jeremy couldn’t quite discern; something between tension and curiosity. Jeremy stood still, dropping his gaze to the floor, and then turned back to the oven. “About eight years. We met soon after I moved here and have been together ever since.”

  When Craig spoke, his voice sounded subdued. “Well, he’s lucky to have you.”

  Jeremy turned to face him, making sure he smiled He didn’t like this line of conversation, but didn’t want to say or do anything that might make Craig uncomfortable. “Yes, Andrew is a wonderful man. I’m lucky to be with him too.” His voice sounded forced, as if he were trying to convince Craig. Talking about Andrew with Craig was the most uncomfortable topic he could imagine. And he didn’t want to ask Craig about Robert. However, avoiding the topic would seem suspicious. “How about you and Robert?”

  Craig’s face went from flushed to crimson. “We’ve been together for eight years as well.”

  The comment had been delivered plainly, no emotion to show pride or pleasure and Jeremy couldn’t help but feel relieved. “Sounds like the two of us have been travelling the same path.” He laughed awkwardly, the tension between them like a third person in the room.

  “You mean moving to the city and getting into relationships at the same time?”

  Jeremy smiled. “Yeah. Kinda weird huh?”

  “Weird? More like serendipity.” Craig’s voice trailed off, as if he had just gone miles away in his mind.

  Jeremy’s breath caught in his chest. Serendipity? Yes, I can see that. “But we ran into each other again. When Boris called you over to us, I recognized you right away.”

  Addressing their reunion helped to relieve his stress.

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  “Me too.” Craig’s voice became animated. Jeremy was relieved to have brought the conversation around to the two of them. “I’ve thought about you a lot over the years, but…um…lately, you’ve been popping into my mind more often than usual.”

  “Really? You’ve been on my mind as well.” Jeremy recalled the several times Craig had crossed his mind over the past couple of weeks. To be honest, the past couple of years. He took a step closer. “I’m so glad things worked out the way they did.”

  Craig took a step closer to Jeremy. “It’s funny how things work out.” Silence filled the room until a sizzling broke through the quiet between them. “I think the chicken’s telling us it’s dinner time.”

  Jeremy laughed and turned to the oven, grabbing his oven mitts and placing the hot pan on the stove top, inhaling deeply, the rich scent of chicken, rosemary and garlic filling the air. “Perfect!” When he turned, Craig was standing next to him, shoulder to shoulder, smelling the delectable meal along with him. He froze on the spot as one additional scent registered in his senses. “You’re wearing that fragrance again. What’s it called?”

  “Huh? Oh. Acqua Di Gio. I love it. Such a clean, fresh scent.”

  “May I get a closer whiff?”

  “Sure.” Craig lowered his arms and lifted his chin.

  Jeremy turned to face him and leaned in until his nose brushed against the silky skin of Craig’s neck. The cologne filled his senses, bringing him back to Saturday night and their embrace, the one where Craig held him tightly. His cock began to lengthen inside his pants as he continued to breathe in Craig’s scent.

  The sound of the timer going off broke the moment and Jeremy straightened. He turned to the skillet on the oven and shifted the beans about. Through his peripheral vision he detected a slight movement. He peeked, trying not to seem to be doing so, and spied Craig reach for the crotch of his pants and tug. He’s adjusting himself.

  The realization that Craig was aroused caused conflicting emotions to war inside his head. He knew he shouldn’t feel excitement, but he couldn’t deny that he did. The curiosity about Robert was eating away at him, so he allowed Craig’s physical reaction to fuel his courage to pry. “Robert seemed proud of you the other night. Andrew tells me he wouldn’t stop talking about you Saturday night.”

  Craig stiffened. “Robert’s a good guy. He takes his work seriously and he views opportunities like Boris’s party as good business. I think he’d like me work for Boris permanently.”

  Jeremy nodded. “Well, Boris also seemed impressed with you. Somehow I get the sense you don’t want to work for him though.”

  “You can still read me after all this time. I guess I still wear my feelings on my sleeve, huh?”

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  “You never managed to hide your feelings, no. But you dodged my question. Do you want to work for Boris?” Jeremy leaned back against the counter, looking at Craig with unwavering eyes.

  “No. Boris wants me to work for him and wants to pay me a lot of money too, but I’d only be doing one kind of work. I’d become bored. Right now, I get all sorts of clients and the challenge of meeting their needs pushes me creatively. Plus, my friends and I started the business together. The thought of leaving seems like abandoning a child.”

  Jeremy’s blood flowed faster as he listened to Craig talk his job and how his salary didn’t factor into how he lived his life. Craig hadn’t changed one bit in all these years.

  He still followed his heart and did things he believed in. He was more interested in being happy, exercising he creativity, and remaining loyal than following the draw of the almighty dollar.

  He admired the characteristic, the one he questioned in Andrew. Craig’s passion reminded him of how his friend always used to fight for what he believed in. He took another sip of his wine, wondering if he would have allowed himself to continually cave into Andrew’s desires if Craig had been around to remind him of how he used to be. “I totally understand what you’re saying. You always stood by what you beli
eved It’s one of the things I loved about you so much.”

  Craig stared at his feet. When he lifted his head, he wore a soft expression filled with affection. “No one’s talked about my beliefs with admiration in a long time. You always boosted me up whenever I doubted myself.” Craig snapped his mouth shut. When he spoke, his voice was timid. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

  Jeremy smiled. “Robert doesn’t tell you he’s proud of you?”

  “Not really. No.”

  A surge of protectiveness swelled inside Jeremy. Just a few admissions from Craig and he already decided he didn’t like Robert. I’d never treat Craig like that. He’d always know how proud I am of him. “You’re running low on your wine. Need a refill?”

  Craig lifted his glass, allowing Jeremy to pour him some more, and walked to the oven to take another whiff of the chicken.

  * * * * *

  Robert was impressed with the condo. Not only enormous, it contained all of the modern conveniences of upscale apartments. “Do you mind if I ask how much this went for? This is prime property. I bet it cost a mint.” Andrew hesitated before answering. “Two-point-seven million”

  Robert let out a long whistle. “Wow, steep. I’m guessing the mortgage is hefty.”

  Robert sized Andrew up as he walked around the guest room. He was tall, about an inch shorter than himself and had smooth, tanned skin. The jeans he wore hugged his body in all the right places, revealing thick thigh muscles and a hard, round ass. His 74

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