Secrets of a Sissy Boy

by Carolina Dean

  17 Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, turn, my beloved, and be thou like a roe or a young hart upon the mountains of Bether.

  Song of Solomon 3

  3 By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.

  2 I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.

  3 The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?

  4 It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me.

  5 I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please.

  6 Who is this that cometh out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all powders of the merchant?

  7 Behold his bed, which is Solomon's; threescore valiant men are about it, of the valiant of Israel.

  8 They all hold swords, being expert in war: every man hath his sword upon his thigh because of fear in the night.

  9 King Solomon made himself a chariot of the wood of Lebanon.

  10 He made the pillars thereof of silver, the bottom thereof of gold, the covering of it of purple, the midst thereof being paved with love, for the daughters of Jerusalem.

  11 Go forth, O ye daughters of Zion, and behold king Solomon with the crown wherewith his mother crowned him in the day of his espousals, and in the day of the gladness of his heart.

  Song of Solomon 4

  4 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead.

  2 Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them.

  3 Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely: thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks.

  4 Thy neck is like the tower of David builded for an armoury, whereon there hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men.

  5 Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.

  6 Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, I will get me to the mountain of myrrh, and to the hill of frankincense.

  7 Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee.

  8 Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse, with me from Lebanon: look from the top of Amana, from the top of Shenir and Hermon, from the lions' dens, from the mountains of the leopards.

  9 Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck.

  10 How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices!

  11 Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon.

  12 A garden inclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.

  13 Thy plants are an orchard of pomegranates, with pleasant fruits; camphire, with spikenard,

  14 Spikenard and saffron; calamus and cinnamon, with all trees of frankincense; myrrh and aloes, with all the chief spices:

  15 A fountain of gardens, a well of living waters, and streams from Lebanon.

  16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.

  Song of Solomon 5

  5 I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved.

  2 I sleep, but my heart waketh: it is the voice of my beloved that knocketh, saying, Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled: for my head is filled with dew, and my locks with the drops of the night.

  3 I have put off my coat; how shall I put it on? I have washed my feet; how shall I defile them?

  4 My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him.

  5 I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock.

  6 I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer.

  7 The watchmen that went about the city found me, they smote me, they wounded me; the keepers of the walls took away my veil from me.

  8 I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if ye find my beloved, that ye tell him, that I am sick of love.

  9 What is thy beloved more than another beloved, O thou fairest among women? what is thy beloved more than another beloved, that thou dost so charge us?

  10 My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand.

  11 His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven.

  12 His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set.

  13 His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh.

  14 His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires.

  15 His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars.

  16 His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.

  Song of Solomon 6

  6 Whither is thy beloved gone, O thou fairest among women? whither is thy beloved turned aside? that we may seek him with thee.

  2 My beloved is gone down into his garden, to the beds of spices, to feed in the gardens, and to gather lilies.

  3 I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies.

  4 Thou art beautiful, O my love, as Tirzah, comely as Jerusalem, terrible as an army with banners.

  5 Turn away thine eyes from me, for they have overcome me: thy hair is as a flock of goats that appear from Gilead.

  6 Thy teeth are as a flock of sheep which go up from the washing, whereof every one beareth twins, and there is not one barren among them.

  7 As a piece of a pomegranate are thy temples within thy locks.

  8 There are threescore queens, and fourscore concubines, and virgins without number.

  9 My dove, my undefiled is but one; she is the only one of her mother, she is the choice one of her that bare her. The daughters saw her, and blessed her; yea, the queens and the concubines, and they praised her.

  10 Who is she that looketh forth as the morning, fair as the moon, clear as the sun, and terrible as an army with banners?

  11 I went down into the garden of nuts to see the fruits of the valley, and to see whether the vine flourished and the pomegranates budded.

  12 Or ever I was aware, my soul made me like the chariots of Amminadib.

  13 Return, return, O Shulamite; return, return, that we may look upon thee. What will ye see in the Shulamite? As it were the company of two armies.

  Song of Solomon 7

  7 How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.

  2 Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like a heap of wheat set about with lilies.

  3 Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins.

  4 Thy neck is as a tower of ivory; thine eyes like the fishpools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bathrabbim: thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Da
mascus.

  5 Thine head upon thee is like Carmel, and the hair of thine head like purple; the king is held in the galleries.

  6 How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!

  7 This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes.

  8 I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples;

  9 And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.

  10 I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me.

  11 Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages.

  12 Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates bud forth: there will I give thee my loves.

  13 The mandrakes give a smell, and at our gates are all manner of pleasant fruits, new and old, which I have laid up for thee, O my beloved.

  Song of Solomon 8

  8 O that thou wert as my brother, that sucked the breasts of my mother! when I should find thee without, I would kiss thee; yea, I should not be despised.

  2 I would lead thee, and bring thee into my mother's house, who would instruct me: I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate.

  3 His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

  4 I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please.

  5 Who is this that cometh up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved? I raised thee up under the apple tree: there thy mother brought thee forth: there she brought thee forth that bare thee.

  6 Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.

  7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

  8 We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?

  9 If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards of cedar.

  10 I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.

  11 Solomon had a vineyard at Baalhamon; he let out the vineyard unto keepers; every one for the fruit thereof was to bring a thousand pieces of silver.

  12 My vineyard, which is mine, is before me: thou, O Solomon, must have a thousand, and those that keep the fruit thereof two hundred.

  13 Thou that dwellest in the gardens, the companions hearken to thy voice: cause me to hear it.

  14 Make haste, my beloved, and be thou like to a roe or to a young hart upon the mountains of spices.

  Appendix J

  1 Corinthians 7:2-5

  King James Version (KJV)

  2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

  3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise, also the wife unto the husband.

  4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise, also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

  5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency

  Appendix K

  Psalms, Chapter 27

  King James Version (KJV)

  27 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

  2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.

  3 Though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.

  4 One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple.

  5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.

  6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore, will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.

  7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

  8 When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.

  9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.

  10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.

  11 Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.

  12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.

  13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

  14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

  Appendix L

  Psalms, Chapter 35

  King James Version (KJV)

  35 Plead my cause, O Lord, with them that strive with me: fight against them that fight against me.

  2 Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for mine help.

  3 Draw out also the spear, and stop the way against them that persecute me: say unto my soul, I am thy salvation.

  4 Let them be confounded and put to shame that seek after my soul: let them be turned back and brought to confusion that devise my hurt.

  5 Let them be as chaff before the wind: and let the angel of the Lordchase them.

  6 Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the Lordpersecute them.

  7 For without cause have they hid for me their net in a pit, which without cause they have digged for my soul.

  8 Let destruction come upon him at unawares; and let his net that he hath hid catch himself: into that very destruction let him fall.

  9 And my soul shall be joyful in the Lord: it shall rejoice in his salvation.

  10 All my bones shall say, Lord, who is like unto thee, which deliverest the poor from him that is too strong for him, yea, the poor and the needy from him that spoileth him?

  11 False witnesses did rise up; they laid to my charge things that I knew not.

  12 They rewarded me evil for good to the spoiling of my soul.

  13 But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom.

  14 I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother.

  15 But in mine adversity they rejoiced, and gathered themselves together: yea, the abjects gathered themselves together against me, and I knew it not; they did tear me, and ceased not:

  16 With hypocritical mockers in feasts, they gnashed upon me with their teeth.

  17 Lord, how long wilt thou look on? rescue my soul from their destructions, my darling from the lions.

  18 I will give thee thanks in the great congregation: I will praise thee among much people.

  19 Let not them that are mine enemies wrongfully rejoice over me: neither let them wink with the eye that hate me without a cause.

  20 For they speak not peace: but they devise deceitful matters against them that are quiet in the land.

  21 Yea, they opened their mouth wide against me, and said, Aha, aha, our eye hath seen it.

  22 This thou
hast seen, O Lord: keep not silence: O Lord, be not far from me.

  23 Stir up thyself, and awake to my judgment, even unto my cause, my God and my Lord.

  24 Judge me, O Lord my God, according to thy righteousness; and let them not rejoice over me.

  25 Let them not say in their hearts, Ah, so would we have it: let them not say, We have swallowed him up.

  26 Let them be ashamed and brought to confusion together that rejoice at mine hurt: let them be clothed with shame and dishonour that magnify themselves against me.

  27 Let them shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous cause: yea, let them say continually, Let the Lord be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant.

  28 And my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long.

  Bibliography

  Baily, C. God, Dr. Buzzard and the Bolito Man: A Saltwater Geeched Talks about Life on Sapelo Island, Georgia, Anchor Books, 2000.

  Barrett, F. The Magus, Or Celestial Intelligencer: Being a Complete System of Occult Philosophy Lackington, Allen, and Company, 1801.

  Cunningham, S. Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs, Llewellyn Publications, 1983.

  The Holy Bible, King James Version. Cambridge Edition: 1769, King James Bible Online, 2016. www.kingjamesbibleonline.org

  Hyatt, H. M. Hoodoo-Conjuration-Witchcraft-Rootwork Vol. 1-5. Hannibal, MO: Alma Egan Hyatt Foundation, 1970.

  Plato, The Symposium, Translation and introduction by Walter Hamilton, Penguin Classics, 1951.

  Randolph, V. Ozark Superstitions, London: Oxford University Press, 1947.

  Wikipedia contributors. Pig. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 21 Oct. 2016. Web. 21 Oct. 2016.

  Resources

  Covenant House

  https://www.covenanthouse.org/

  Covenant House provides help for individuals between the ages of 17-21 who live on the streets or in a home that is not safe.