Blue Room Confidentials: Vol. 4

by Kailin Gow

  Skyla, on the other hand, is quick and businesslike. She has no time for my sentimental imaginings. She strides straight through the rooms and goes to Gloria’s desk, where she starts ruffling through papers.

  “Nope,” she says curtly. “Not here.”

  “What are you looking for?” I ask. “Something Gloria was trying to hide?”

  Skyla shakes her head no. “Not that,” she says. More like – something Gloria was trying to protect.”

  “My father?”

  Skyla nods. “More than that. Something she would kill for. Something she would set all this up – the whole Blue Room – up for.”

  “Do you think it’s here? Whatever it is you’re looking for?”

  “All the evidence certainly points in that direction,” Skyla says. “Gloria seems to have everything I suspected she would have here in order to substantiate the theory I’ve been developing.”

  “Which is?”

  Skyla goes to the bookshelves, each one lined with rare and precious books.

  “It’s a long, hard job,” she says, “but somebody’s got to do it. It’s going to take hours, going through all of these books. But I need you to help me look.”

  “Of course,” I say automatically, “anything. But what am I looking for?”

  “Anything that looks like it has sentimental value.”

  My eyes go wide. “Seriously?” Everything here looks like it has sentimental value.

  “Seriously,” says Skyla. “Like I said, it’s a long job. So let’s not waste any time. In the meantime – where’s her computer system?”

  I want to call Calvert to ask, but I don’t trust him. So instead, Skyla and I rummage through the various closets, until at last we find one – with mahogany doors – with an enormous set of servers inside. And, sitting on top of them, a shiny laptop.

  “Bingo,” Skyla grins. “I think our search just got a hell of a lot easier.”

  “She’s an old lady,” I say. “What use would she have for a computer?”

  “Because an old lady with a computer only uses it for personal reasons – not business ones. She had her staff handle the business. Which means – this will show us what matters most to her.”

  I keep on looking through the books while Skyla attempts to hack into the computer. Looking for something, anything, in these texts. A sign. An answer. A clue to who my grandmother really was.

  Then I hear Skyla cry out. “Got it!”

  “What is it?”

  I rush over to Skyla and stare at the screen. It’s a jumbled set of codes: numbers, words that don’t seem to have any real meaning.

  “What is this?” I ask.

  “Old files I’ve managed to uncover. Somebody tried to delete them. Luckily hacking is one of my many specialties. I found what I was looking for.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “Her secret. Gloria Tannenbaum’s secret. The reason she did all of this. To lure him in, to keep him under her control…”

  “Keep who under her control?”

  “That’s in the code. The names. Come on, Staci, we’re going back to the Blue Room. Call Xander and the boys to let them know.”

  “Know what?” I ask. I wish she’d just tell me the answer already.

  “To meet us back at the Blue Room. The Conference Room. I think I know who the killer is. But first, I need to confirm a few loose ends.”

  “Okay,” I say. My heart is beating fast. “Let’s go. And take the computer with us.”

  Chapter 4

  Xander

  Brring! Brring!

  Even now, the sight of Staci’s name, flashing across my phone, makes my heart stop, just a little bit. It makes me close my eyes, makes me think of her. Sometimes I even think that I can smell her, thinking of her; that I can close my eyes and inhale so gently, so fully, the delicate aroma that used to cling to me after a night of passion shared with her. Looking at her name pop up makes me think of all those other times she used to call me – back when she was a Blue Girl and I was her john, and the only thing we shared were our erotic fantasies. I hold the phone in my hand, feeling it ring, feeling it vibrate, and for a few brief and glorious moments I pretend that things are the way they used to be. Staci is calling me to set up an assignation – I will take her away to my beach house, spend the evening cooking and making love to her on the sand, in the sea, pouring that delicate white wine, so effortlessly chilled, on her naked and splayed body, her inviting body that waits for mine with such supple and such agile grace…

  I stop myself. Xander, you can’t go on like this. Staci is married, I remind myself, or at the very least she might as well be. She’s chosen Terrence; she has a new life, a new start. She has new plans. I have to move on, too. And yet, I can’t help but wonder as I see her name – why she is calling me at all? Staci and I have barely spoken since our breakup, and even in those rare moments we’ve hardly spoken intimately. We have given each other space to let one another grow, recover – to let me recover, who the hell am I kidding here. And if she needed anything, surely she’d call Terrence, unless…

  My heart skips a beat. I can hardly dare to hope. Is there something about me I’m able to give her – something Terrence cannot give her? Have I finally bested my young and rakish nephew in something yet?

  “Hi,” she says when I at last answer the phone. “Thank God. I’m so glad I caught you.”

  I relish her relief. I relish the feeling that she needs something from me, that she wants something from me, that there is something I and only I can give her.

  “Whatever you need, Staci,” I tell her in a low voice. “I’m here. I promise.”

  “I’m with Skyla,” she says.

  Immediately I get nervous. I’m still not sure who Skyla is, but I’m definitely not sure if we can trust her or not – for all we know, she could be Jaymie, plotting with Ben against us.

  “Are you okay?” I ask her.

  She sounds confused. “Why wouldn’t I be, Xander?” she asks me.

  “I don’t know,” I say. “No reason. I’m just – I’m glad I checked, that’s all.”

  “Listen, Xander. You’ll never guess where we are.”

  “Do I want to know?” I ask her.

  “We’re in the Tannenbaum mansion.”

  I flinch. The sound of that name – the name that gained me everything, that lost me everything, is still physically, palpably, painful to me. I can’t stand remembering – it, her. Gloria and all that Gloria has taken from me. “The Tannenbaum mansion? Where in there?”

  “Listen,” Staci says. Her voice is low and urgent, the way it used to be when she was overcome with desire, with sexual need. It reminds me of our nights together and I feel myself growing hard with longing for her.

  “Believe me,” I say. “I am listening.”

  “We’re in Gloria Tannebaum’s very office. Skyla was looking for something in there – something in particular.”

  I can feel my jaw twitch. Just thinking about that woman makes me so angry I think I could punch a wall. “Well, you know Gloria,” I say with great effort. “She loved all those arts and antiquities, didn’t she? Perhaps it was one of her priceless jewels or rare books that Skyla was seeking?”

  As I speak I can see her in front of me, old Gloria Tannenbaum, the cruel and stately dowager. It’s like I’m there in that office again, a young and callow boy, shy and naïve but willing to do whatever this woman, this powerful woman, this dragon-like and terrifying woman, asks of me. It’s like I’m looking at a ghost – hell, it’s like I am the ghost.

  Listen to me, my child, Gloria is saying, doubled over with effort, her gray hair piled in an enormous chignon as she peers over her priceless gold spectacles at me. Child, you have to understand that we are animals. Humans are animals. And our human nature is the most animal nature of all. People will do whatever it takes to survive. Even destroy those they love. Even destroy their own children.

  I remember what I asked her, then. I was barely t
wenty, still so green, still so new to the world, when Gloria Tannenbaum took me in, offer me everything. How can a mother be so cruel, I can see myself asking her once more. Doesn’t she care for her child above all else?

  I see Gloria holding those old, ancient books while she talks to me, slamming the book shut so decisively dust dances in the air above it. Listen to me, my boy, she says. How little you know. I have told you before and I will tell you again, people will do whatever it takes to preserve themselves. They are cruel. It is not anything but the truth. It is just who they are. A twin will kill its very sibling in the womb if it means he will be the one who survives the primordial fight. If two cannot live, if there is a shortage of food or shelter or love, one will survive. Remember Cain and Abel. Remember Jacob and Esau. Remember all the stories of old.

  I don’t understand her then. I don’t know her meaning. All I know is that this cruel old woman frightens me, that I want to go, run, get out f there, get out of there as fast as I can.

  What would you do, Gloria Tannenbaum asks me, if it mean getting what you always wanted. You asked for a loan, did you not? So that you could start your own business? So that you could be your own man?

  Her tone sends chills down my spine. Even in my naivete, I can feel my spine tingle at the evil in her words, at the alluring danger of what she presents to me.

  I asked you a question, boy. Do you dare keep me waiting for an answer? What would you do for me to give you your dream?

  I see the slithering of her tongue. I see the way she wets her parted lips, stares at me with silver glinting eyes, hard and cruel eyes, waiting for my answer.

  And then I see it, too, like a vision before me. My desire, my lust, my hunger that comes from deeper within me still than my belly, that comes from a place deeper than even mortal lust. My ambition, my pride, those forces that are in and deeper than my blood, that pump through my body like blood, all these I see before me and I know that Gloria Tannenbaum sees it too. The truth. In my mind there is a skyscraper gleaming and glistening , rearing up from the mass of identical buildings, sharp and glorious, and it has my name on it. The wealth, the power the approbation – I cannot deny it now. For what I have dreamed of, I would do anything.

  And Gloria, she doesn’t even have to say anything to me. She already knows, even without speaking, even without hearing. She knows men well. She knows boys like me with a dream in their hearts and lust in their eyes. She sees my evil and smiles with her fork-like tongue and whispers Good. Now you see what you must do. There is a man – a dangerous man. A powerful man. He is a man who never took me seriously except when he wanted something then. Then, he would take it by force. He is a man you would do well to fear.

  I take out the photograph and examine it. He looks familiar, I say. Though for a moment I do not realize why – only that he awakes something in me, some old and atavistic recognition.

  He’s a celebrity, Gloria smiles. You have seen him many times on television. Every ten seconds, he is there. Perhaps you do not follow the news as well as you ought to.

  “I know him!” I exclaim, overcome with surprise. “I mean – that’s…that’s…” I can barely say the name aloud. I’m bowled over. Gloria has shown me a photograph of one of the most powerful men in the whole world.

  “He is untouchable,” says Gloria. “Or at least, I fear he may be. He has one weakness, and only there can we strike…”

  “He has a weakness?” Shock has made me weak and slow.

  “Yes,” says Gloria curtly. “Sex. Women and sex – and lots of it. And we will use that to get him. Must destroy this man, bring him down. Steal his dreams just as he stole mine. Take everything from him he ever cared about or wanted.”

  “How would we do that?”

  “Oh, you poor fool. By giving him what he wants, don’t you see? Sex with the most beautiful women in the world any time he wants it, stroking his ego any and every time he needs his ego stroke, slaking the thirsts of everything a man like him could thirst for. You have a brother, do you not? A half-brother who builds hotels? I want him to build me a gentleman’s club. Where all desires can be fulfilled for these powerful men. And your brother, the old man – you and he will call it after yourselves. Call it the Blue Room. And Xander, you must do whatever it takes to make sure this place is every inch the success I want it to be. You will do whatever it takes to keep it going, to preserve it as I wish it, will you not? If that is what you want.

  If you want what you want badly enough.

  And I nod. And I tell her: I do.

  A year goes by after that. My business takes off, thanks to Gloria’s money. The Blue Room takes off, too, becomes a sensation. And then a few years later, the first murder happens. I wasn’t there. I was off in New York, running my own company, when I got the news. One of the clients, strangled to death during a kinky game of choking gone wrong. I was the one who helped clear up the mess. Not Gloria’s nemesis, but one of his buddies.

  Maybe I’m a fool not to suspect Gloria at the time.

  But now I’m no fool. I know the truth. And I know that Gloria Tannenbaum is capable of anything, absolutely anything…

  Chapter 5

  Xander

  So here we are again. Trying to make sense of everything. Trying to get everything together.

  Trying to get ourselves back to sanity again. It’s no easy task; of this I’m sure. Too much has happened. Me, Terrence, Danny, Jaymie, Staci, Skyla, Ben – how can any of us learn to trust one another again? Maybe Gloria Tannenbaum, vicious old dragon that she was, was right. People care about only one thing: survival. And they’re willing to destroy whatever – or whoever – might get in their way. Even me, maybe. Even Terrence. Even Jaymie – Skyla – Marina – whoever she is, was, would be, will be, might have been.

  My heart is beating so fast. Sometimes I think I’m going mad. Right now I think I’m going mad. My ears are ringing and my lips are throbbing and I’m practically seeing double, I’m practically swooning, trying to keep myself together. Trying to keep my thoughts together, when deep down my soul is flying away. I am standing with Terrence and Danny in the conference room of the Blue Tower, near Skyla’s office. Jaymie and Staci are nowhere to be found, but Skyla is here.

  Could this woman really be Jaymie? A woman I’ve made love to? A woman I’ve kissed? Could I really not recognize her? It seems crazy, but then again anything seems possible now. If Marina and Jaymie are the same person, why not Jaymie and Skyla? A trick of makeup, contact lenses, hair – what does it take to turn one person into another, anyway? I am losing my grip on sanity, at this point, I think. Anything seems possible now. Everything seems possible. I have faith in, I believe in, I trust in nothing.

  I go up to Skyla as she ruffles through papers on her desk. Terrence and Danny have gone into the other room to pour themselves stiff drinks to take the edge off all the stress at hand. Skyla ordered food in – mixing businesss with pleasure.

  Could this be Jaymie? I wonder. She looks so different. She even moves differently, so slowly, so carefully. So unlike Jaymie’s palpable throaty sexuality. But I think that deep down, maybe it’s the same woman. The same iron core of flesh.

  “Jaymie,” I whisper into her ear, coming up behind her. I press my whole body against her so she can feel my hard cock stirring into the muscular curve of her ass. “I’ve missed you,’” I whisper. “I’m ready for round two.”

  Skyla emits a soft, aroused growl. Then she begins to chuckle, a light and melodious, tinkling sound. “Round two? Oh, honey, we haven’t even tried round one, yet!” She shakes back her hair. “Really, Xander, not in the office…” She puts her hand on my torso, rubbing my abs with her delicate finger-pads. “You know, Xander? I think you’re one of the finest men my eyes have ever seen but I thought you were only into your Blue Girls.” She licks her lips and turns back to me. “I know how hot and heavy you were with Staci – I’m not getting in the middle of that. When you let go of your past – when you’re ready to try something
a little more adventurous….give me a call. I’ve seen a little bit of footage of you in action.”

  “Footage?”

  “They tape some of their sessions here. Let’s just say I’ve been enjoying the view.” She leans in so that her lips touch my ears. “I’ve been getting off on the sight, I must confess. But let’s stay professional. For now. Unless….”

  This wasn’t what I expected. Unless Skyla’s playing me, she genuinely thinks I’m coming onto her for the first time. And she likes it. I’m almost embarrassed…but strangely aroused. I’m not used to women as assertive as Skyla – and I think I like it.

  “I’m sorry…” I say. “I must have been confused. I could have sworn you and I… before.”

  “Believe me, honey,” says Skyla. “If I’d had you, you wouldn’t have any trouble remembering.”

  “Ben seems to think you’re not who you say you are,” I add. “He seems to think you’re in disguise.”

  “As what?”

  “As yourself. That you’re really Jaymie, pulling one over on us.”

  “That is crazy.”

  “Ben’s done it before. The PIs from that group. They’re all masters of disguise. They can become anyone. Do anything. And they got me thinking…”

  “Me?”