Next, I texted my dad a short note saying I would be in town and I would call him when we were on the road to see if he was available. After my parents divorce my father withdrew from me. I guess it was his way of handling what he called the incident. It didn’t help a fourteen year old who needed her father.
“Alright, enough of the depressing stuff. Let’s go have some fun,” I announced, bouncing with excitement. Aiden looked at me amused. “What do you have in mind Red?”
“Let’s ask our friends out to dinner,” I suggested. Aiden gave me his wide crooked smile. “Great idea. We can tell them right?” he asked excited. “As long as you don’t mind having them know before our families do,” I answered. Personally I didn’t give a shit. Telling Toni first seemed right to me.
“I think I should call my parents. I want to tell my dad, but I don’t want to put him in a bad situation with my mom. I'm going to tell both of them. Are you sure you don’t want to tell your parents first?” Aiden asked concerned.
“No, Toni and Kate are like sisters to me. It feels right that they should know before my parents.” I kissed him softly, “but I want you to tell your parents. I don’t want your mom to think I’m being spiteful by keeping major news from her.”
“God you're amazing. She doesn’t deserve your concern, but I love you for thinking of her,” Aiden said. “I’m not doing it for her. It’s for you, everything is for you,” I vowed.
He dialed their number and waited to for his parents to answer. “Hi mom, is dad home?” “I see how it is, you don’t want to talk to me now, just jump straight to your father,” his mother complained. Aiden rolled his eyes. He knew I could hear both sides of the conversation. It was very quiet where we were sitting.
“Actually I wanted to speak to you both at the same time. Put me on speaker phone,” he said ignoring her outburst. “Oh. Of course darling. You have good news for us?” Aiden smiled at me. “The best news.”
I heard his mother call his father to the phone. “Oh Frank, Aiden has good news for us.” I heard his father laugh. He was probably thinking that she wasn’t going to agree that it was good news.
“So you did it huh?” Frank asked. “I did,” Aiden said, smiling. “Congratulations son. I’m very happy to hear it.” “What are the two of you going on about?” Nadine asked irritated. “Mom, I asked Rebecca to marry me and she said yes.” I gave him a curious look for using my full first name. He never called me Rebecca.
“Aiden, what have you done? I thought you understood. You don’t marry girls like her. Be serious Aiden, what can she bring to your future? What standing can your children have in society? Aiden, what about getting your son back?” Nadine ranted. “Stop right now Nadine,” Frank growled.
“I’m not going through this with you again mom. Get on board with this, or don’t speak to me again. Those are the only choices I’m going to give you. And as far as getting my son back, he isn’t my son anymore.
He has parents, and he's happy. Sometimes loving someone means doing what is best for them. But, maybe you don’t really love me. I’ll talk to you later dad. We'll celebrate the next time you visit."
“Tell Becca congratulations for me and that I’m glad to have her join the family. I’m sorry for this Aid. I’ll call you soon.” Frank hung up before Nadine could utter another word.
“I know you heard what she said. I’m sorry, but remember I want you. I love you. I don’t give a shit what she thinks,” Aiden said while playing with my ring.
I kissed him passionately. I laced my fingers in his sandy blond hair, and pulled his mouth to mine. He let me lead the kiss, boldly licking his bottom lip until he opened for me.
The kiss was deep and said everything that I couldn’t find words for. I was his and he was mine. And I didn’t give a damn what anyone thought either. We needed each other, but more than that we wanted each other. Screw what everyone else thought.
26
Aiden
I should be freaked out right? After all I’m a guy, and I just promised to be with one woman for the rest of my life. One seriously sexy red head. Right, not exactly a hardship.
Actually, I was getting hard thinking about spending forever with her. Becca was right. I'm glad I proposed a second time. I was definitely not telling our kids I asked their mother to marry me after fucking her against the wall of the shower. That was the wrong word, but making love implied candles, music, and gentle caresses.
What happened in the shower was steam, heat, and passion. It was a primal mating ritual that marked her as mine. It was only logical to make it official. Anyway, I think a romantic proposal near the lake sounds much better.
I was dying to tell someone. Someone who would celebrate with me and not try and convince me it was a bad idea. Only one person fit that description, Jeremy.
Me: Hey Jer, can you get everyone together to go to the Chateau for dinner tonight?
Jeremy: Everyone as in Toni and myself? That isn’t a big crowd.
Me: Yeah the two of you and Kate. And if you have someone to invite…
Jeremy: Is that your way of asking if I'm seeing Cameron?
Me: I guess. Are you?
Jeremy: I am, kind of. I like him, but we aren’t rushing anything. Is it weird talking about this? You’ve never wanted to know before.
Me: I’m an ass, sorry. But since I’m asking you to gather everyone, this is a good excuse to ask him out without really asking him out.
Jeremy: You're a genius. Why are we all going out on a Wednesday?
Me: You’ll find out tonight.
Jeremy: Shit really? You didn’t.
Me: Would you have a problem with it?
Jeremy: Fuck no man. Bec is awesome. If I weren’t gay I would have taken her while you were sitting on your thumbs being faithful to the bitch.
Me: Not funny. I know you're joking, but don’t even think of becoming straight and going after my woman.
Jeremy: I’m definitely gay, so no worries. See, I told you when I came out this would all be ok.
Me: You’re right, I’m glad you’re gay. I’ve seen the way even Becca checks you out. Asshole.
Jeremy: LOL, I can’t help being irresistible. Not that you have to worry. You're a hottie yourself Aiden.
Me: Ok. Now I’m uncomfortable again.
Jeremy: No worries. I’ve never actually been attracted to you. I can notice your hotness, but it's not for me. It's like checking out my brother. Gross.
Me: Just get everyone to the restaurant at 6 tonight dumbass.
Jeremy: K
Becca was trying to torture me. I sat for an hour waiting for her to get ready. She came out of the bathroom transformed into a goddess I couldn't touch, because we were going to meet our friends. Not cool. She did some girlie half up half down thing with her hair. There were long curls I couldn't wait to run my hands through and mess up.
She wore a green Greek goddess style dress and gold strappy sandals. I begged her to wear something red, but she laughed and said red heads couldn't wear red. Whatever, I’m buying her something red, lacy and see through. If she won’t wear red in public, I’ll get her something to wear for just me. She could keep the shoes though.
We arrived at the restaurant a few minutes after everyone else. We weren’t late, but Jeremy was excited and he got everyone there early. The waitress led us to the table, and I could feel people watching my beautiful fiancée. What an awesome word. It was so much better than girlfriend. Not as good as wife, but it worked for now.
Toni interrogated us the moment we reached the table. “Jeremy wouldn’t tell us anything. Spill it already.” Becca laughed and shook her head. “So impatient,” Becca teased. Toni response was to stick out her tongue.
I grabbed Becca's hand and kissed near her ring. Kate gasped, and knocked over her water. “I asked Becca to marry me today, and she said yes.” “Becca?” Kate asked, shaking slightly. Becca smiled in response, unaware of Kate's obvious anxiety.
“Isn’t it a bit fast?”
Kate asked concerned. Becca shrugged. I couldn’t help but smile, because I knew she was saying she didn’t give a shit what they thought. “I guess I can see where you would see it that way, but it doesn’t feel that way. I’m happy Kate.”
“Com’on Kate you know Becca has been through too much shit in her life. She’s happy. Aiden is sweet to her, and well look at him. Be happy for her,” Toni urged.
“Thanks, Toni. I think. Oh and quit checking out my fiancé.” Becca winked at me. “Fine, but it won’t be easy. God you are such a lucky bitch. Ok, let’s see the ring." Toni wiggled her fingers impatiently. Becca held out her hand, and the girls oohed and ahhed like I knew they would.
Half way through dinner I noticed Kate lean in and whisper something to Becca. Becca shook her head vigorously, and angrily whispered back. I reached over and squeezed her knee. She gave me a tight smile and continued her quiet argument with Kate.
I turned to Jeremy, “Do you know what that is about?” I subtly gestured toward Becca and Kate with my chin. Jeremy checked to make sure Cameron wasn’t watching before answering.
“I overheard Kate and Toni arguing a few days ago. I guess Kate is worried Becca is acting without thinking. According to Kate, Becca was a really wild party girl, until the end of last school year. You should really ask Becca about this stuff. I know her worries about you are bullshit, so I didn’t say anything about it. But, seriously you should let Becca tell you about her demons herself.” I gave him a tight smile. "She already has. It doesn't change a thing," I reassured him.
“I’m glad that is over,” Becca sighed on the way back to the car. “I saw Kate giving you a hard time. Did that ruin the whole thing for you?” I was really pissed she wrecked Becca’s news. She gave me a half shrug. “It wasn’t a total waste. I was having fun until Kate turned all motherly on me,” she answered.
“Uh, Jeremy said he overheard a conversation between Toni and Kate the other day. Did that have anything to do with what she was hassling you about tonight?” She winced. This must be bad. “He heard that huh? Toni told me about it that night. Did he hear everything?” she asked nervously.
“Yeah, but he didn’t tell me everything. He said I should talk to you about it. But, I'm guessing it's what you already told me." Becca nodded. "It was, but it's different for Jeremy to know. I don't want anyone to look at me differently. Kate doesn't even know why I was acting out. She just thinks I was a wild party girl. I'd rather have that then see the look people get when they learn the truth."
I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “So Kate is worried you are using me to punish yourself for what happened when you were a child?”
“She definitely thinks I'm being self-destructive. Not that she ever knew why I acted the way I did,” Becca replied. I let the doubt win for a moment. “Are you?”
“No Aiden. I feel calm with you. I’m not using you to punish myself. You make me feel strong enough to help myself. I love you.” Her smirk turned mysterious, and her green eyes darkened. “I’m not above using you for sex though.”
I opened the passenger door for her, but stopped her from climbing in. I pressed her against the open door and kissed her deeply. “I’m good with that.”
27
Rebecca
“Are you ready for this?” I asked as we pulled up to my parent’s house. Aiden rubbed my knee. “Hey, no matter how this goes, it doesn’t come between us. Nothing they say or do will make my feelings for you change.” “They won’t change how I feel about you either,” I promised.
Aiden grabbed the bags and we walked up to the house. My step-dad Rick let us into the house. “Your mom will be out in a minute. She's making something or another in her craft room.”
I nodded and headed toward the guest room to drop off our overnight bags. “Where am I sleeping?” Aiden asked from the doorway. “In here,” I answered. “Ok, then where are you sleeping?” he asked confused. “In here,” I said, and pulled him into the room with me.
He took a deep breath. “Don’t start a fight with them about this. I don’t mind sleeping in the guest room.” I gestured to the generic decorations in the bedroom. “Aiden, look around. This is the guest room.”
“Where is your room?” he asked. “My room is now the craft room,” I answered bitterly. “Do they know we are staying in here together?” Aiden asked uncomfortable. I nodded. “It was my mom’s idea.”
My mom came out three hours after we arrived, and after Rick came back from picking up dinner. “Sorry Rebecca I got caught up in my creation. You must be Aiden. I’m Alice, Rebecca’s mom,” she introduced herself. They shook hands, and she motioned for him to sit.
“Tell me about yourself Aiden. My daughter has told me practically nothing about you.” “I’m twenty-four, and a senior at Central. I’m on a baseball scholarship, and I’m studying journalism,” Aiden answered quickly.
“Journalism? Is that an employable field nowadays?” my mother pried. “I want to be a photojournalist. I'm minoring in marketing. I’ll be able to get a job,” he answered confidently.
“You’re ambitious, I’ll give you that,” my mother responded. “Are you done grilling him, because we have something to tell you,” I interrupted. Best to rip the band-aid off, not that I saw this as bad news, but she might not agree. Hard to say when she would go from distant back to overprotective. “I wasn’t grilling him. Alright, let’s hear this news,” she huffed.
Aiden squeezed my hand. I looked at him, and I realized he wanted to tell them. I nodded once to agree. “I love your daughter. I know this is the first time I'm meeting you, and you might have reservations, but I want you to know I will be good to her.”
Aiden was nervous. He kept wiping his hands on his jeans, probably to dry them off. I wondered if he realized he told them backwards. “What exactly are you trying to say?” my mother interrupted. “I asked your daughter to marry me, and she said yes.”
Rick choked on his soda. “Becca?” Rick gasped. “Yeah, we’re getting married,” I confirmed. My mother tossed her napkin on the table and left without saying anything. “What is her problem?” I asked Rick. “I’ll go talk to her.” He followed after her shaking his head.
“Did I do something wrong?” Aiden asked uneasily. “No, honey. She does have a way of making you feel that way though,” I said bitterly. “When was the last time you came here to visit?” Aiden asked suddenly.
“I’ve stopped by when Toni and I have come through for shopping, mostly around the holidays. Other than that I haven’t stayed all night here since the summer after my freshman year,” I replied. “I’m sorry if I pushed you to do something you wouldn’t have done otherwise,” he apologized.
He did, but meeting them was important to him. I could put up with my mom if it made Aiden happy. I started to reassure him, but my mom came back in the room.
“Sorry about that. How long have you two known each other?” she continued as if she never left. I looked at Aiden. “About two months, right?” “You don’t know?” he teased. I winked. “One month and three weeks.”
“That’s it?” my mother shrieked. “Alice,” Rick warned. “Rick they have only known each other for less than two months. Have you told him Rebecca? You can’t trap him in a marriage before you tell him,” my mother lectured me.
Through clenched teeth I said, “I’ve told him everything mom.” She put her hands on her hips, eyeing me skeptically. “Really? Have you told him about the incident? Have you told him about your drinking, anorexia, and promiscuity? Of, course not. He wouldn’t have proposed if he knew how damaged you are.”
“That is enough!” Rick roared. “I’ve put up with this long enough. I’ve only been in this family for four years, but it is long enough to know that what happened to her was not an incident, but an attack. All of the other stuff you accused her of was only to cope with how little you supported her through this trauma.” Rick got up and stormed away from the table. “Sorry Becca,” he called out from the hallway.
; Aiden stood silently next to me. Too silently for me to believe he was all right. The muscle in his jaw twitched back and forth, while he clenched and unclenched his fists. “Becca. Is. Not. Damaged,” he seethed.
“You don’t know her that well. Spending part of the summer with my daughter does not make you an expert on her problems,” my mother challenged, lifting her chin in the air. Aiden laughed without humor, “Spending twenty years with her doesn’t seem like it has helped you either.”
Aiden playfully tugged on a lock of my hair. “I’m sorry I pushed you into this. I think I understand a bit better why you spent so much time punishing yourself. I thought meeting each other’s families was part of making our engagement official. But we don’t need them. I don’t need anything, but you.”
"Is this what you considered to be overprotective?" Aiden asked me. We were pretending my mom wasn't in the room. "I guess. She never really let me go anywhere. I think she believes I'm my own worst enemy." I shrugged trying to play off how deeply hurt her words always made me.
"Red, this isn't overprotective. She would have to protect you, but she's never managed to do that has she?" I felt my lip tremble. I bit it to stop the quivering. "It was easier to view it that way, than to realize she blamed me for what happened."
"I meant what I said, we don't need them anymore. I've got you. If you fall I'll pick you up. If you break I'll hold you together. And if you need to cry, I'll lend you my shoulder," Aiden promised and wrapped his arms around me.
My mother watched our exchange with interest. Her eyes bounced back and forth between the two of us. “You really did tell him didn’t you?” she asked me in shock. I looked into Aiden’s midnight blue eyes. “Yeah. I did, and he still wants me.” “Always,” Aiden whispered in my ear.
Self Destruct Page 12