Silent tears ran down my mother’s face. “Good. That’s good. I’m so sorry Rebecca. I’m happy for you, glad you met someone. I was so afraid you were going to let it hold you back. I really thought it would. I guess I started to believe it was inevitable and I didn’t give you a chance. I worried you would never find a man who would be able to handle what happened to you, because your father and I weren’t able to.”
Aiden’s expression hardened, and he ground his molars together. “Everything you said was some sort of test to see if I would leave her?” “I just wanted to protect her from being hurt,” my mother responded.
“You thought hurting me before he could was protecting me?” I asked confused. She didn’t respond. “You know what mom? Please don’t help me anymore.”
“Rebecca...” she started. “No mom, don’t. I’ve heard enough. I think Aiden and I should just go.”
“Rebecca I know I keep screwing up. I don’t mean to, something broke in me when he attacked you, and I pulled away. The more you punished yourself, the more I retreated. I panicked and I’m so sorry for that. I know I can never make it up to you, but I want you to know I love you. I heard you earlier. I did think I was protecting you by preparing you for the bad in the world. I know I was wrong. I was weak, and I'm so sorry.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, choking back a sob. “Maybe someday I can make-up for my deficiencies as a mother. I would like to get to know you,” my mother tried to apologize.
“That would be nice. It’s going to take time though,” I responded. “Please stay. I started this visit badly, but I would really like to get to know your young man,” she pleaded.
Aiden smiled at me supportively. “Ok we can try. No promises, but I’m willing to make an effort,” I agreed. My mother let one tear slip down her cheek, and smiled in relief.
28
Aiden
I closed the door behind us after we went into the guest room for the night. I exhaled forcefully. That was some seriously stressful shit. “So…uh…if your mom was convinced I wasn’t going to stick around, why did she set it up so we would have to sleep together?” She shrugged. “Who knows why she does half the crap she does.”
At first I thought that her mom put us in the same room because she knew we were living together. That was until Alice asked me if I had a roommate. I looked pointedly at Becca. “Red?” I asked annoyed. She giggled nervously.
“Can I?” I asked her. Becca bit her lip and nodded yes. I turned to answer her mom. “Yeah, we have a roommate. His name is Jeremy.” “We?” Alice asked. I nodded. “Becca and I.”
“Rebecca?” Alice directed. “I moved in with Aiden a few weeks ago.” Alice’s eyes widened, and she looked like she was going to say something, but changed her mind.
“Have you set a date yet?” Rick asked, redirecting the conversation. He returned to the house shortly after Becca and her mom came to an understanding. He joined the conversation like he never stormed off.
“No, not yet,” I answered. “Do you have something particular in mind?” Alice asked me. “I graduate at the end of this school year, and Becca the following year. I don’t want our wedding to be a distraction, but a celebration,” I answered.
“Hey,” Becca rubbed my arms, "Where did you go just now?" I blinked a few times clearing my mind of the earlier conversation with her mom and stepdad. “What kind of wedding do you want?” I asked her. She shrugged “I'm not that focused on our wedding,” she answered.
What the fuck? I raised my eyebrows, and stared at her in disbelief. She laughed a deep throaty laugh that I usually found sexy as hell, this time it irritated the shit out of me.
“Are you really dead set on a huge wedding, Aiden?” A big wedding? Honestly no, but chicks expected that shit, right? “Red you are confusing the hell out of me. I’m a guy. Spell it out please.”
“I’m excited about our marriage, but the wedding is just one day. I really don’t want a big expensive party,” Becca said simply.
“Red, you are fucking perfect." “Aw, sweet talker,” she teased. “Are you serious though?” I asked worried she was just trying to please me.
“I’m not saying I want to go to Vegas or something like that, but yeah just us, our friends, and whatever family we are still speaking to when the time comes sounds perfect to me,” she explained.
“Any thoughts on where? I’m not interested in a big wedding either, but I’m only doing this once. I want to make it special,” I told her.
“How do you feel about the beach? We met on one, you proposed to me on another,” Becca suggested. “Perfect. Hawaii?” I offered. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against mine.
I could tell by the way her green eyes darkened that she wanted me. “Bec, your parents are in the other room,” I groaned. God, I wanted her, but parents were a definite buzz kill.
She smiled a seductive and very naughty smile. “I have an idea. Follow me.” She grabbed a blanket and turned back to me. “Let’s go.” “Coming,” I answered. “Not yet, but soon,” she said fluttering her eyelashes. I chuckled. “Bad girl.” “I know, aren’t you lucky?” she flirted.
I loved this girl so fucking much. “I think I’m about to get lucky,” I flirted back. “Now you’re getting the idea,” she whispered. Once we were on the porch I asked her, “Where are you taking me Red?”
“There is a clearing between those trees over there,” she said pointing to the trees. “I don’t see anything,” I said looking really hard. “Exactly,” she replied grinning. “I think I created a monster,” I whispered into her neck. I loved watching the blush rush across her pale skin.
Becca pushed aside the hanging branches of a weeping willow tree, and ducked inside. The clearing was bigger than I expected, about the size of a suburban front yard. There was a circle of soft grass surrounded by a variety of trees and bushes. She spread out the blanket and crooked her finger for me to join her.
I stalked over to her, and pulled her into my arms. Tucked next to my chest I ran my fingers through her long silky hair. “Can I ask you about something your mom was saying?”
She glanced at me warily. “You want to talk?” I ran my finger across her high cheekbone. “Just one question.” “Ok,” she agreed quietly.
“Your mom said you were anorexic. Was that true?” “I don’t know if I was clinically anorexic, but it was something I came really close to,” she admitted. “Why? You're stunning. I’m sure you were then too. Why would you want to torture yourself that way?” I tried to tone down my temper. But truthfully the thought of anyone hurting her, even Becca herself, kinda pissed me off.
“I didn’t want to feel that way Aiden,” she said with an exasperated breath. “I was an early bloomer. I hated that I started to look like a woman when I still felt like a girl. I was always mistaken for older than I was, and I blamed the way I looked for the attention I got from men.
Especially after, you know. I didn’t want guys looking at me. I wanted to disappear. I didn’t really consciously refuse to eat, but I didn't really make an effort to remember to eat either. ”
I pulled her closer to me. “And now?” I asked softly. “I’ve had a lot of therapy. I still have bad days, but not as often. You are the first guy I’ve ever been comfortable with. I like the way you look at me, and I love it when you touch me. I never thought I would have that,” she said quietly.
“First?” I demanded. “Only,” she amended. “Damn right. I always imagined myself as a modern guy. I respect women, especially you, but Becca you bring out the caveman in me. You are mine. I won’t ever share you. Also, I reserve the right to beat the shit out of any guy that tries to touch you,” I told her honestly.
One corner of her lips curved up. “I’m good with that, on one condition.” My eyes narrowed. “What condition?” “Simple, you agree to the same conditions,” she answered.
“Ok,” I agreed, and kissed her. “You can beat the shit out of any guy that tries to touch me,” I agreed, trying to sou
nd serious and not to laugh. I could see she was also struggling.
“Aiden,” she growled. “Red,” I repeated her tone. She slid the tip of her tongue around the edge of my ear. “Agree and I continue this exploration.” “Where,” I rasped. “You’ll have to answer to find out,” she taunted.
I fisted her hair. “I don’t see other women anymore. They don’t exist to me. There is only you. How could I want someone else when I have you?” “Good answer,” she breathed. Her lush body pressed into mine, and I heard the slide of my zipper. I felt her softness glide down my body. “Oh God,” I groaned. “No Aid. Oh Becca,” she corrected.
29
Rebecca
The first day of class arrived, and also the first day of my new job at the university library. Aiden was irritated with my insistence to work. “Red, we will never get to see each other. Seriously Bec, I have a trust fund. I'm going to be gone so much once baseball starts, and I don’t want us to be apart that much. We don’t need the money,” he argued.
“Aiden, let’s save the money if we don’t need it. If we never get to see each other I’ll quit,” I offered. He nodded, and our first real fight ended with a compromise.
My first class of the quarter was Creative Non-fiction Writing. I arrived early, chose a seat in the rear corner, and started reviewing the syllabus I printed off the web.
“Hey Becca, how was the rest of your summer?” a low male voice spoke. Shit. I knew that voice. “Oh, uh, hey Jake. My summer was fantastic, yours?” “Well everything was going well until I blew my chances with this girl I was interested in,” Jake hinted.
“Sorry to hear that,” I mumbled. “Are you?” Jake asked hopefully. “Sure?” I answered, but it came out like a question. Thankfully the professor entered the room and further discussion was discouraged. Of course that only put off my discomfort for fifty minutes.
“I’d like to take you out to dinner and start over,” Jake announced the moment class was over. I pushed a strand of my hair out of my face with my left hand. Jake’s eyes widened, and focused on my engagement ring.
“Uh, yeah...so...uhm...I’m engaged,” I stammered. “To the guy you met this summer?” Jake asked in disbelief. I smiled thinking about Aiden. “Yeah. It sounds crazy, and totally sappy, but when you meet the one you just know.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” a male voice growled behind me, and strong arms wrapped around me. Aiden’s warm and spicy scent enveloped me, and I leaned into his chest. He doesn’t usually paw me in public.
I knew that he was marking me as his. His inner caveman had come out to play. I decided not to make a big deal out of it. “Hey babe,” I purred, allowing him his manly display.
I knew he hated when couples called each other baby. He always rumbled something about there not being anything sexy about babies. Babe seemed more possessive than cutesy. Still, I only said it to point out that he was acting like a possessive alpha male.
I turned and looked into his hypnotic dark blue eyes, but he was giving me a funny look. He returned his gaze to Jake. “Hey Mitchell, how has your summer been?” Aiden asked.
Mitchell, as in Jake Mitchell? Freakin’ A, they know each other? “Not as good as yours it seems,” Jake responded dryly. “I didn’t know you knew my fiancée,” Aiden commented, stressing the word fiancée. “Funny, I thought you were in a serious long-term relationship with some chick going to NYU,” Jake retorted.
“I was,” Aiden admitted, “until I met Red and realized what I was missing out on.” “Why do you call her Red?” Jake asked confused. Aiden’s blue eyes sparkled devilishly.
“Aiden you explain that nickname to him and…” I whisper yelled. Aiden squeezed me closer, and bent down to whisper in my ear. “I can think of one way you can persuade me to keep my mouth shut.” “Babe, I can think of lots of things I could do to keep you from talking, moaning, but not talking,” I whispered.
Aiden’s eyes unfocused, and I elbowed him in the side. He cleared his throat and continued talking to Jake. “Her hair shined a really bright red when I first saw her on the lake, and she had gotten some sun which made her cheeks really pink. I didn’t know who she was, so I started calling her Red,” Aiden finally answered. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he raised an eyebrow. Holy shit, that was the real reason he called me Red. Then what was that garbage about how I blushed and the color of my nipples? I looked sideways at Aiden and he winked at me.
“Well Jake, it was nice running into you and all, but I gotta drag her off to lunch before she goes to work this afternoon,” Aiden said dismissing Jake. Jake ignored him and turned his attention to me. “See you in class tomorrow, Becca.” It was a very subtle way to remind Aiden that he would be seeing me for the next eight weeks.
Aiden waited until Jake was outside of hearing range. “I didn’t know the guy from the wedding was Jake Mitchell.” “Well, I would have checked with you before hand, but…oh yeah you had a girlfriend. Besides, how was I supposed to know you two knew each other?”
He shrugged. “I guess you weren’t.” “So how do you know each other?” I pressed. “We were on the baseball team together in high school. I was the only freshman put on the varsity team, and Jake was a senior. We really don’t know each other that well."
“What was with the caveman display?” I asked, waving my hand around. “I thought I was fairly tame, considering I walked up to a guy hitting on my woman,” Aiden dismissed.
“I’m only going to admit this because you didn’t take the jealousy to some insane level, but it was kinda hot,” I told him. Aiden chuckled. “I trust you Becca. I just wanted him to know he doesn’t have a chance with you.”
In the weeks that followed Jake would casually start conversations with me before and after class. I was polite, but I never added to the conversation. Jake never pursued me persistently before, and he didn’t start now.
Toni thought Jake liked the idea of me. "If he was really hot for you he wouldn't just give in." "Honestly, I'm glad he isn't really interested. It would be too weird seeing him in class if he was still pursuing me. I'm not even sure I was ever into him," I admitted.
"I'm sure Aiden loves that you have a class with a sort of ex," Toni commented. I shook my head at her, knowing it was obvious to everyone Aiden was possessive. Not in a creepy Lifetime movie of the week way, but an idealized book boyfriend kind of way.
Aiden would occasionally show up after class let out, and make a big display of touching me. It was his way of reminding Jake his chance with me had passed. “You know Jake doesn’t actually have a thing for me, don’t you?” I asked Aiden one day after he showed up after class. “You’re blind then,” Aiden responded. I grabbed his arm to stop him from walking. For a brief moment I saw an insecure darkness cloud Aiden’s eyes.
“Hey, what’s bothering you?” I asked worried. He scrubbed his hand across his face. “Nothing,” he mumbled. “Aiden,” I demanded. “If I tell you it is just going to piss you off,” he challenged. I had to admit I was worried.
“Please talk to me,” I urged. “I trust you ok? I just, shit, Becca I’m trying not to be, but I’m freaked out you are going to leave me or cheat on me. It isn’t you, just damage Vanessa left behind.”
“I’m not mad. I know you trust me, and I don’t mind you dropping in on me during the day,” I reassured. “I’m not doing it because I expect to catch you doing something wrong. I come to your class because I need to prove to myself you are real. She fucked with my head so much over the last few years, and sometimes I need proof that my life really is this good now,” he explained.
I kissed him quickly and tenderly. “I like seeing you during the day.” “I love you, Becca. There was another reason I dropped by your class. Nick showed up at the house after I left for my run. Jeremy was too chicken to tell him he couldn’t stay with us, and I found him setting up his shit in the guest room.”
“Aiden, he’s one of your oldest friends, of course he should stay with us,” I argued. “You are great for sayi
ng that, but I know he gives you the creeps.” I couldn’t deny it, so I didn’t try. “He’s still your friend.”
Aiden shook his head at me. “He isn’t my friend if he treats you badly. You are the most important person in my life. Plus, I don’t trust him around you either.” I bit the corner of my lip. Aiden gave me a reason for my paranoia. I was feeling a little nauseous thinking about Nick staying in my house. “How long is he staying?”
“He's leaving on Sunday. Sooner if he pulls any shit. Just, stay with me or Jeremy while he is here, and I'm going to have a talk with Jer about him not staying with us anymore,” Aiden comforted. “I will. I get off work at seven tonight. You should be back from class by then,” I agreed.
“I thought the inter-library loan office was closed at five?” Aiden asked. I was really lucky. I didn’t have to work weekends or nights, because I worked in one of the offices in the library. It was one of the reasons Aiden stopped giving me a hard time about my job.
“It does, but I’m filling in for one of the girls from the reference section,” I explained. “Do you want me to pick you up?” he asked. I shook my head. “I drove. I’ll just see you at home.”
My replacement was late getting to the library. Apparently his night class ran over. On my way out to my car I ran into an extremely chatty Toni. I tried not to be short with her, but I was really tired and hungry.
"Hey, not to be a bitch, but my stomach is eating itself. Are you coming over tonight?" I asked. “I have to meet a study group, but I’ll stop by in a couple of hours,” she promised.
I'm not really sure why I asked if she was coming over. Even though we didn't live together anymore I still found her in my house at all hours. Her friendship with Jeremy had grown stronger since the summer, and if she wasn't with me she was usually with him.
I sighed in relief when I finally made it to my car, only to discover that I accidently left the dome light on and had a dead battery. I started to call Aiden to get a ride, but Cameron pulled in next to me and offered to jump my car.
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