Promising Azra

by Helen Thurloe

  After a couple of minutes, a door slammed down the corridor.

  ‘Do you think that’s him gone?’ I asked.

  ‘Sounds like it. But hard to tell for sure. Do you want to go back in there?’

  I didn’t. I felt angry. And uncomfortable. And like Kate’d make me feel as if I was the nuisance, when really it was her and Tom who had made all the trouble.

  ‘Not really. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep in the same room as her.’

  Vanessa nodded. ‘I know. I wouldn’t be able to either.’

  A key turned in the lock. A tall girl with a loose brown braid down her back stepped in.

  ‘Hi, Siobhan,’ said Vanessa. ‘You know Azra, from my school?’

  ‘Hey,’ said Siobhan, pointing both hands at me. ‘Yes. Arsenic. From dinner.’

  ‘Right. Antimony.’

  ‘We’re already family, Vanessa,’ she said. ‘Pnictogens. Group 15. Okay if I take a shower?’

  ‘Sure. Um, Azra’s got an awkward situation happening in her room. Mind if she sleeps on the floor here tonight?’

  Siobhan stretched her eyebrows high, surprised. ‘S’pose. If that’s what she wants. There are spare blankets in the cupboard.’

  ‘You don’t have to do that, Ness,’ I said. ‘I can go back.’

  Vanessa started clearing space on the floor. ‘I know. But it’s for the best. Got to look after your teammates, hey? And wouldn’t you rather stay here for now?’

  She was right. I would. So I did.

  XVIII

  Hypergolic

  two reactants that spontaneously combust when in contact with each other

  Next morning, I woke early to the vibration of a muted phone. From somewhere behind Vanessa’s bed. Probably her mum calling. Had anyone tried to call mine?

  The buzz didn’t wake Vanessa, though, or Siobhan. I folded the blankets into a pile, and crept back to my room. Tom had gone, thank goodness.

  Kate was still fast asleep, her red hair sticking up like it was positively charged. I carried my bag to the bathroom and dressed quickly. When I snuck back into the main room, she stirred.

  ‘Azra?’ she said.

  I didn’t want to answer.

  ‘Azra?’ She sat up. Her face was scrunched up, annoyed.

  ‘Yeah, what?’

  ‘Aaargh, don’t be pissed off. We were just mucking around. It was nothing.’

  Nothing? Lying on a bed with a boy you only met that day, with your top undone?

  ‘Whatever,’ I said. ‘I’m going to breakfast.’

  She looked like she was going to ask me to wait, but, it seemed, decided not to. I was glad. I didn’t want to talk to her.

  Tom wasn’t at breakfast. Which was good. I didn’t want to see him either.

  From the heated food trays, I chose tomatoes and mushrooms and toast. And black tea. As I sat down at the nearest empty seat, Pratik came up.

  ‘Hey,’ he said, holding out his plate and mug. ‘Snap! Breakfast of champions.’

  I smiled. ‘Depends how you cut the toast,’ I said. ‘Rectilinear or triangular?’

  Pratik raised an eyebrow. ‘Isosceles definitely tastes best. But the tomato needs more nackle.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Nackle. NaCl. Sodium chloride.’

  ‘Lame,’ I said, chewing a mushroom. ‘But you’re right. Hey, do we know what’s on this morning?’

  Pratik pointed to a large whiteboard at the far end of the room. ‘It’s all on there. A demonstration of colour cycling in solution, and then we need to prep for caffeine extraction in the lab. Not with this, though,’ he said, taking a gulp of his tea.

  After the colour cycling, Joe outlined the afternoon’s task.

  ‘You’re going to work out how to extract caffeine from filtered coffee. A fresh brew is provided in each lab. Not for drinking. Or tasting. For this task, you won’t be given any instructions. But you can use the science library for research first. At two o’clock, be at your designated laboratory with safety gear. You’ll be working in pairs, so find a partner. Any questions?’

  Nathan Nitrogen put up his hand. I knew he was going to say something smart.

  ‘Can we do the extraction from a can of Coke instead?’

  Joe gave a short laugh. ‘Well, only if you’ve successfully done the coffee version first. And you bring your own can. Anyone else?’

  There were no more questions.

  ‘Okay, go do your research. Any problems, you can find me here till one-thirty.’

  I stood up and stretched. Where was Vanessa? I should probably team up with her.

  ‘Coming to the library?’ asked a voice behind me. It was Pratik. Again. Was he following me around? It seemed like it. And it was kind of nice. Especially as B wasn’t here to hang out with. Or to make any comments about what might have been going on.

  ‘Sure,’ I said. ‘Any ideas on caffeine extraction?’

  ‘Only a six-letter word meaning a very large number,’ he said.

  ‘Yeah, me too. Starting with G.’

  We walked down the path to the library. I hoped they had enough computers for all of us. It was already pretty busy, but we managed to find one we could share.

  ‘Come on, Azra,’ said Pratik. ‘You take the chair, I’ll kneel and operate the mouse. Under your instruction.’

  After a few pages, we decided on solid-phase extraction with C-18 silica.

  When we got to the lab, Pratik was more confident than I’d ever seen him before.

  ‘First up, I need an SPE tube,’ he said.

  The store cupboard was lined with labelled plastic drawers, like an oversize kitchen pantry. I found the tube, as well as the C-18 bonded silica gel.

  ‘Let me pack it first,’ I said. ‘Why don’t you get the coffee?’

  Steaming beakers wafted from the front bench. Pratik brought over one filled to five hundred mil.

  ‘With two sugars?’ he asked, holding it out.

  I smiled, taking the beaker, but the condensation made it hard to hold with the gloves. As it slipped, Pratik steadied it, clasping his gloves over mine.

  ‘Got a problem with your coffee there, dudes?’ Kate poked her head between us. I stiffened. ‘A beaker outta control? Let me help.’

  She put her gloved hand under the beaker, and another on the rim. Pratik released his grip and grinned. My ears burned. Kate raised an eyebrow.

  ‘All good here now?’

  ‘Yes thanks,’ I muttered.

  ‘Anytime,’ said Kate, returning to the next bench. I so wished she wasn’t in the same lab as us.

  ‘Now, what next?’ asked Pratik.

  My brain felt fogged. ‘Ummm,’ I said. ‘We need to, um, where are those notes?’

  I tried to do all the steps in order, but Pratik kept interrupting.

  ‘Hey, do you know why you shouldn’t trust an atom?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘They make up everything.’

  The more I giggled, the more jokes he told.

  ‘How come neutrons get everything for free? There’s no charge.’

  I groaned. No wonder the first batch of coffee got spoiled by us pouring it too fast. Then we had to start over again. I willed myself to pay proper attention, but I couldn’t care about anything like I usually did.

  Halfway through our second attempt, Bradley and his partner called out, ‘Finished! Champions!’

  Joe went over to check, but it was true, they were the first. Pratik and I had been hopeless, it was terrible. We’d need to be much more focused for the real competition tomorrow.

  ‘Hey,’ said Pratik, ‘at least one of our team members is doing okay. Think we’ll need to get our act together for next time.’

  ‘No jokes next time,’ I said. ‘Too distracting.’

  We washed up the beakers and packed away our goggles, gloves and lab coats. As we packed up our bags, Mrs Kaminski walked past. ‘Hi, Azra. Pratik. How’s it going? Enjoying the camp?’

  We both nodded. ‘Just thinki
ng of going for a walk before dinner,’ said Pratik.

  ‘Excellent idea,’ said Mrs Kaminski. ‘Clear your brains. You should go up to the Thomas building, you can see the city lights from there. Before it gets too cold.’

  Did he mean for me to go too? I couldn’t tell.

  We walked in silence up to International House. At the door, Pratik cleared his throat.

  ‘If you like, I’ll wait for you here,’ he said. ‘Five minutes?’

  ‘Okay,’ I said. I ran up the stairs, feeling equal parts nervous and excited. Part of me knew I shouldn’t go walking with him alone, but another part wanted to. And Mrs K seemed to think it was fine. Besides, Pratik was nothing like Tom.

  At my room, I paused with the key in the lock. I didn’t want to disturb Kate again. I jiggled the key a few times in warning, then pushed open the door. She wasn’t there. I dropped my lab gear on the bed, and checked my phone.

  One missed call from Rashid, two from the shop, and one from home. No messages, though. I held my breath. What was wrong? I rang the shop first. No answer. Then home. It rang out. Then, finally, Rashid. It went straight to voicemail.

  This was strange. My heart quickened. Was everyone all right? And where were they?

  I put my phone in my back pocket, in case anyone rang back. And then I washed my face, brushed my hair and let it fall down over my shoulders.

  Pratik waited outside, puffing out clouds of breath into the chill afternoon.

  ‘Cold enough?’ he said, rubbing his hands together. ‘Let’s go.’

  We walked up the path, him leading. Small lights were set into the edges of the steps to show the way. Old, tangled Moreton Bay fig trees reached overhead.

  ‘Bit gloomy, hey?’ said Pratik. A fruit bat shrieked and flew down from the branch above. I squealed. ‘It’s okay,’ he went on. ‘Just a flying fox.’

  He reached for my hand, and I didn’t pull away. The glow from where our palms touched radiated up my arm. By the time we climbed up all the stairs to the Thomas building, we were breathing fast and feeling warm.

  ‘Look,’ said Pratik, pointing with his free hand. The lights of the city sparkled in the twilight sky.

  ‘It’s beautiful,’ I said.

  ‘Yes,’ he replied, ‘it is. You know what,’ he continued, pulling my hand towards him, ‘it’s not the only thing . . .’

  He pulled his arm around me, and bent his face close to mine. And then paused. I could feel his breath on my cheek. And then he leaned in, bumping my nose.

  It was too much. I turned my face away.

  ‘Pratik. We can’t.’

  He pressed his face into my hair and sighed, still keeping his arm around me.

  ‘I know. I shouldn’t have.’

  I breathed in a scent of green apples from his hair. I knew I should step away. Now. But I didn’t really want to. Then there was a buzz, like an insect. Repeating itself. In my back pocket.

  ‘Oh, my phone.’

  ‘Can’t you leave it?’ he asked, his mouth by my ear.

  ‘Sorry,’ I said, dragging it out to look. It was home. I didn’t want to answer. But with all those missed calls, how could I not?

  ‘Hello?’ I said, my voice scratchy.

  ‘Azra!’ said Mama, her voice agitated. ‘Why don’t you ever pick up?’

  ‘Because I’m busy. I’m, ah, in the lab and stuff, I can’t always answer. What’s up?’

  ‘Rashid,’ she said. ‘He’s in very big trouble, and Baba and Uncle are on their way home. I don’t know what to do,’ she continued. ‘They’ll be so angry.’

  Pratik walked over to the wall, and looked out at the view.

  ‘What sort of trouble?’ I asked, turning away.

  ‘I don’t know. The police didn’t say.’

  ‘Police?’ What had Rashid done? He was already in enough trouble from speeding.

  ‘Hang on. Someone’s here.’ She put down the phone. I could hear her talking in Urdu to a man in the background.

  ‘Azra?’ she said.

  ‘Yes, what?’

  ‘Javid’s here now.’

  ‘Good,’ I said. ‘He can help. He can go to the police and sort it out.’

  ‘Maybe you can help him too,’ she said.

  My heart sank. ‘Tonight? You want me to go with him to the police tonight?’

  ‘Just a minute.’

  She spoke with him some more. ‘Javid said it’s too hard, with you in Kensington. But tomorrow you’re home, aren’t you?’

  I breathed out. ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘tomorrow. No problem.’

  ‘Okay then. Come as soon as you can. Is everything all right there?’

  ‘Yes, Mama,’ I said, looking at Pratik’s silhouette against the dusky sky, ‘it’s all fine.’ Nearly true, I thought. What would she say if she knew where I was right now?

  ‘Okay. See you tomorrow. What time?’

  ‘About six.’ I put the phone back in my pocket.

  ‘Everything okay?’ asked Pratik. He didn’t look me in the eye.

  ‘Not sure “okay” is the right word for it,’ I said. ‘Family stuff.’

  ‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘there’s always family stuff. Want to talk about it?’

  Kind of. But where would I start? And what would he think of me, and my stupid brother? I guess there was no point in pretending. So we sat on the edge of the wall and I told him. Most of it, anyway.

  ‘Well. He’s lucky to have you as a sister,’ he said, putting his arm around my shoulders again.

  ‘Not sure he’d see it that way,’ I said, gently removing his arm. ‘But what can I do? You can’t not help your family.’

  ‘You’re lovely, Azra.’

  I felt my heart swell under my ribs.

  ‘Pratik, this isn’t right.’ Though I wished it was.

  ‘Yeah. Sorry. Well, I’m not really sorry. Just ridiculously hopeful.’

  I smiled. He was nice. I really liked him.

  ‘It’s hope-less, you mean. You’re Hindu. And Indian. What would my parents say?’

  ‘Mine wouldn’t be impressed with you either. You’re not even the right caste. But you can’t blame a guy for trying.’

  He put his hand over mine. It was warm and soft.

  Two bats flew overhead, close enough to feel the air under their wings.

  ‘Must be nearly time for dinner,’ I said. Everything was awkward suddenly.

  ‘Yeah, we’d better go,’ said Pratik, standing up and turning to go down the stairs. With the warmth of his hand gone, I felt a sudden chill. And then I followed him down the hill.

  After dinner, we watched a documentary on scientific hoaxes of the twentieth century. It was kind of interesting. A few people, including Kate, snuck out before it had finished. At the end, Professor Kimble stood up to speak.

  ‘Well, tomorrow is the competition day for the New South Wales Chemistry Camp. Are you ready?’

  There were some enthusiastic ‘yeah’s from the front.

  ‘You’ll work in your school teams, starting in the labs listed on the wall over there. There’ll be two tasks in the morning, and then the presentation and wrap-up in the afternoon. Any questions?’

  ‘What time do we start?’ asked Bradley from somewhere near the front.

  ‘Good question. Eight forty-five at your designated laboratory. No sleeping in!’

  I tried to hold in a yawn, but couldn’t. Camp was exhausting. Especially as I had been sleeping on the floor.

  ‘See you tomorrow,’ said Vanessa when we reached the college, squeezing through the doorway with a bunch of other students. ‘Hope you have a better night.’

  ‘Yeah, reckon,’ I said, as we climbed the stairs to our floor. I jangled the key in the lock to make as much noise as I could. When I pushed the door open, the lights were off.

  ‘Hello?’ I said. No one answered.

  Kate wasn’t there. I didn’t care if she was too tired for the competition tomorrow, she wasn’t on my team. I took my pyjamas into the bathroom and ran a sh
ower. My hands and feet tingled in the hot water after being outside in the cold night. In the rising steam, I thought about Pratik. His warm hand. His dark eyes. His lame jokes. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been daydreaming about him, but it was irresistible. I could almost imagine falling in love with him. As if that would ever be allowed.

  I turned off the water, and dried myself in the cloud of condensation. Then the front door banged shut. I sighed. She was back.

  I took my time brushing my teeth, anything to delay facing her. At last, I gathered up my clothes and left the bathroom.

  Kate lay back on her bed, texting.

  ‘Finished in there?’ she said.

  I folded my jeans on the bed and didn’t look up.

  ‘Right. So now you’re not talking to me. Excellent. Well, that doesn’t stop me.’

  She sat up and swung her legs off the bed.

  ‘I can tell you’ve got a crush on that Indian nerd, haven’t you?’

  I put my clothes away in the drawer, not looking at her. How could she even ask? How was it any of her business?

  ‘You have, haven’t you?’

  ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I said, my face flushed. A pulse throbbed through my ears. ‘And you should leave Tom alone. Don’t you know he likes someone else?’

  Kate laughed. ‘Really? Not from what he told me. She’s not even allowed to go out with him, so what’s the point?’

  I gasped. What had Tom said? About him and B? And why would he tell that to someone like Kate? I wanted to get out, away from her. But it was cold outside, and I was in my pyjamas. I’d already spent last night on Vanessa’s floor; I wanted to sleep in my own bed at least once.

  I stormed back into the bathroom and locked the door. I sat on the toilet lid for ages, not sure what to do. She was so awful, I couldn’t go back into that room with her.

  After a while, she knocked on the door.

  ‘Can I have a turn now?’ she asked. ‘Are we done?’

  I sighed. I just wanted to go to bed. To sleep before the finals tomorrow. Only one more night and I would never have to see her again.

  Without saying anything, I unlocked the door and pushed past her.