My Life as An Amish Wife

by Lena Yoder

  I’m having a bad case of fingernail-biting nervousness right now with a field of raked hay waiting to be baled. Wayne is still not at home. Our neighbor Junior will be here in a couple minutes, as will several more neighbor boys to help. I don’t like to make them wait. Brian does really well with harnessing and hitching up the horses, getting the hay raked, and all that, but sometimes the know-how and management skills of mine are pretty well zilch. When we see Wayne coming home, Brian and I breathe huge sighs of relief. It feels so good when we are all at home and working together.

  The other morning I slept a little too long, so I was in the parlor by myself a little while longer than normal. It was dark and rainy, which made me tired and moody. I was thinking of all the rain, all the mud, and planting crops late because of it. Must be I needed a wakeup call from my self-pitying thoughts because all of a sudden a cat let out a horrible scream! It grabbed my attention.

  I kept on hosing out the milk parlor, and my mind started to wander again. Then two male cats got into a vicious fight. They really got my attention off me! I proceeded to give them a good morning shower with the startling cold water. They took their fighting elsewhere, and I continued on with the chores. As Colleen would say, that’s about as exciting as our life gets.

  We have this little bull we’ve been feeding to fatten up to butcher next year. His name is Hamburger Steak. Well, he discovered he’s quite the macho man once he got to the cows. The excitement level got plenty high the other night when Brian and I were milking. Hamburger Steak thought he belonged in the parlor with us. He had plenty of bawling and aggressiveness to get where he wanted. It made my heart pound and my knees weak. My legs turned to rubber. A bull is nothing to mess with. Needless to say, as soon as Wayne came home Hamburger Steak got moved back to where he belonged. That’s plenty of excitement for me!

  I have a peace rose that hasn’t bloomed for several years, but it has such beautiful foliage so I keep the plant. It turns out the foliage is wild, and it has bloomed profusely this summer—only the blooms aren’t the peace rose. They are a cheery, bright red. Big deal. I’m not professional either. We might as well bloom where we are planted. The other roses are busy bringing sunshine to our lives. We have four rosebushes where we can see them from the kitchen window. The hummingbirds also frequent the feeder right outside that window. It makes washing the dishes a bit more interesting.

  We didn’t get our fill of asparagus this spring, much to the chagrin of the children. They brought in enough for some soup the other evening. It was barely enough for that, but we made do. Growing an asparagus patch takes patience, but it will multiply. We just have to be patient. The strawberries were delicious while they lasted. Now we are looking forward to fresh blueberry pie. We’re hoping to enjoy the fresh blueberry pie with our friends the Hogues from Oklahoma. We’re looking forward to their annual visit.

  On my daily walk this morning I heard the birds singing their praises. I saw a new species! It looked like a scarlet tanager, but I don’t know if those are in this area or not. It was a beautiful, bright red-orange. I also heard the woodpeckers busily at work. Taking a morning walk has many benefits. It helps keep my mind clear and often fills my heart with song.

  This spring Wayne and I went on several dates again. What fun and oh so romantic. After I was done with the evening milking, I’d walk back to the field and join him on the plow for several rounds to catch up on the daily news. No roses. No fancy, expensive dinner. But love and partnership to the fullest! Yep, Wayne is mighty popular when he comes home from work. I walk up to the house again, and there by the walkway to the house are the roses, and Colleen has prepared us supper, I am blessed indeed.

  We love these long summer evenings, but they do have a big disadvantage. We have a hard time knowing when to stop working and go to bed. So soon it is time to get up again. We do take time for making s’mores though, and lounging around the campfire, and gazing at the stars, and filling a jar with fireflies.

  Did you ever make s’mores with Ritz Crackers instead of graham crackers? We love it! Ritz Crackers, Hershey’s Milk Chocolate bars, and roasted marshmallows. What a way to end the day!

  Year 3

  Fall

  Some days I really wonder why we even want to dairy farm. I really struggle to keep my focus. Some days things happen…

  Wayne’s at work, it looks like a fifty–fifty chance of rain, and there’s hay on the ground ready to rake and bale. Should we rake it or should we not? Should we rake it or should we not? We don’t want it raked if it’ll rain on it before we get it baled. Should we rake it or should we not? Lord, I really need your guidance. Help me make the wisest decision.

  We didn’t do too badly.

  Friday morning, 4:45, almost time for Wayne to head to the house. We had the milkers on the second batch of cows when Wayne suddenly bolted from the parlor and ran for the motor room. The diesel was making some awfully loud noises. Wayne checked things out and started the diesel again with me standing behind him praying for deliverance. Wayne promptly shut the motor off.

  By that time it was dangerously close to the time Wayne had to get ready to go to his day job. I called our neighbor lady, asking if she could take me to go get the repairman. The repairman came back with us, sacrificing his morning. I totally dreaded his verdict. “Ruined,” that’s what I heard. Totally overhaul or buy brand-new. One would cost as much as the other. Lord, what are you trying to tell us? I admit I had some unhealthy thoughts going through my mind.

  Most of the cows weren’t milked. I think they were totally confused because cows are creatures of habit. About 8:00 I biked to our faithful friends to see if we could put our herd over to theirs until we got our mess straightened out. They had also milked our herd for six weeks some years back when our old barn was struck by lightning and burned to the ground. They, of course, said we could.

  By that time we figured it could go a week until we have power again. Power, oh my! How soon will we be without water pressure? Our diesel also powers the air compressor that supplies the air for our water supply.

  Our friend’s eldest son biked to the phone shack to call his uncle who has a truck and trailer to see if he could come haul our cows to their farm. He said he could be there in an hour. I biked home again and gulped down a banana and some yogurt and granola so I would have some energy again.

  I told Karah and Emily to just fill the washing machine halfway to conserve water. And to please use the outhouse instead of the toilet. We need to save all the water we can. Later Wayne thought I’d overreacted a bit, but, hey, I’m just this meek little lady trying to do the job of a man. Something I most certainly cannot do.

  Colleen was cleaning house. Both ours and Dad’s had to be cleaned. Karah and Emily were doing the laundry alone for the first time because they simply had to. We discovered they easily could! They just had a small amount, and they enjoyed doing it. Brian was back in the field getting it ready for Wayne to plant corn that evening. He had to stay at it.

  The little girls were soon done with the laundry and came out to help me get the cows in from the fields again. Joe came with his truck and backed up to the sliding door. The girls and I tried to get the cows onto the truck. Come on laugh—because it was a joke! Me trying to load cows onto a stock trailer! I hate doing something like that because I am not good at it at all. Karah was immediately covered with manure from the top of her head to her feet. Poor thing. About the only clean area on her were the whites of her eyes, and those looked very white. She looked at me totally shocked because I just had to laugh. It was either laugh or cry, so laugh I did.

  The cows didn’t want to cooperate. I wanted to despair, but I kept praying for wisdom. Aha! I know what I will do. We put the cows into the holding pen and made an alleyway from the parlor to the trailer. It actually worked! The cows were eager to be milked, so we tricked them. It took three jags to get our little herd moved. After the last ones were loaded, I joked that maybe the sale barn would be hiring now tha
t I could actually load cows. Now, had it been auction day… well, just a thought I had better not dwell on.

  We rushed about getting our other work done. At 3:30 I went to the neighbors’ place to help them milk their cows and ours. Esther, their daughter Erma, and I had a total rodeo—free of charge, at that. Ervin’s dad finally came and helped a bit, and we actually got the 80-plus cows milked before Wayne or Esther’s husband got there to help. It was a long two hours, and we weren’t totally positive that we’d gotten them all milked because several might have cleared the fence. We really didn’t care; we had all we could handle.

  We did get the diesel motor on the next Monday. We brought the cows home on Monday night after chores. I had finally calmed down a little. I didn’t even enjoy my so-called vacation from choring each day. Wayne went over to help Ervin with the milking over the weekend. I did remind myself that none of us was hurt or sick, and this too shall pass. Life just keeps me wondering…

  That Saturday we had some visitors from Ohio. That’s why our house and Dad’s had to be cleaned. These visitors were Andy Weaver and his daughter Naomi, her husband, Robert, and son Adam. It has been wonderful getting to know the Andy Weaver family. Andy lost his wife the same year we lost Mom. Our families have a lot of similarities. Our parents are the same ages; we siblings are the same ages as theirs; and all the way down to minute details like both our fathers eating the same kind of cereal for breakfast. I have finally, after talking on the phone the last two years, met Andy’s daughter Rhoda and her family. She is my age, lives on the home dairy farm with her dad in a small house just like us. They have been a wonderful blessing to my family.

  Canning season is here again. Colleen and I cleaned out the basement and took inventory of all we need to can yet. Now, if only we could keep that dungeon clean all the time.

  The bean crop was good, so we were done canning those in a hurry because we could do a lot at a time. We also did a lot of black raspberry pie filling and jelly. We don’t need to do any blueberry filling, but we had to get some blueberries for fresh eating and fresh pie.

  We’ve been eating a lot of cucumbers, and kohlrabi, and yellow summer squash (our favorite!). We love the squash fried and then put on buttered bread with a slice of Muenster cheese. Tastes like summer!

  While sitting at the table eating lunch, the little girls hang their spoons on their noses acting like clowns. Yes, they literally hang their spoons on their noses, and the spoons stay there. They do get their food eaten after we’ve laughed a while.

  School is in full swing again. Sure seems quiet with just Colleen, Jesse, and me at home during the day. We just kind of picnic for lunch, having the main meal at supper time again. Jolisa is in first grade this year, Emily in second, Karah in fourth, and Brian in the eighth. My mom would love the stages our children are in right now.

  We’re cleaning house again. Church comes around every seven months. It was time to do some deep cleaning again anyway. I am so glad for the privilege of hosting services, for more reasons than cleaning, but I don’t know how else we would get the cleaning done. I don’t always wash all the walls and such because it’s our turn so often. With doing some each time, it doesn’t get so bad either. While cleaning the upstairs, the children wanted to rearrange their furniture, so we took time to do that. I’ve always liked to rearrange, but our house isn’t big enough and doesn’t leave me with a whole lot of options.

  Here on the main floor I just keep it the same old way, but I do have my own way of fighting boredom. I rearrange the decorations I have, like the things I have on the countertops and the houseplants. I don’t have much else. Just enough to have it feel cozy but keep it simple and easy to clean.

  Our potato crop was a total failure this year. The red ones did do okay, but I finally told Brian to till the keeper potatoes under. It was embarrassing. We fought the bugs. They were so bad the plants didn’t even get to the blooming stage. Usually if we wait to plant potatoes until mid to late June we can be pretty much bug free. Not this year. We picked bugs, we dusted bugs, we sprayed bugs, and we still had bugs. The dead bugs dropped to the ground, disappeared into holes in the ground (we could see the holes), and I think hatched thousands more to keep up their army. We admit that this year we lost. We’ll try again next year. I guess it’s not so bad. With gardening now for 17 years, this is the first it went like this.

  We did have excellent muskmelons and watermelons. We ate them as fast as we could and wished they’d lasted longer. As we grow older it seems the growing season keeps getting shorter. When I was a child I thought I had to hoe the garden forever until we could finally empty it and enjoy other projects. Now we hoe it several times and, poof!, the season is over. I do know using a tiller helps make less hoeing. We used a horse-drawn cultivator back then, and we couldn’t get as close to the plants as we can with a tiller. I also know the time goes faster as I get older.

  Jesse was lucky enough to go with Wayne and me on a mini vacation to Holmes County, Ohio, this past summer. The others had to stay home. He keeps talking about those hills that Holmes County is so famous for. Every time we go up a gentle rise (that’s all Indiana has compared to Ohio), he comments that this hill isn’t like Ohio’s, right? One day he was saying we should all go to see Sister Freda in Oklahoma. He paused just slightly and then replied, “But I would stay at home.”

  “Why would you stay at home?” I wondered.

  “Well, I do not want to go to hills like that again!”

  I explained that Oklahoma doesn’t have hills like Ohio does.

  One day Brian was bringing up the horses with Jesse tagging along as usual. Finally Jesse said he was tired and could hardly go anymore—and there was still half an inch to go.

  Mid July, Wayne and I made a very difficult decision. We sold the cows. We decided to go with feeding heifers in the dairy barn and small calves in the shed part of the other barn. We will continue to farm, but now our chores have changed. The change is hard to put into words. It seemed doors kept closing for us, and we had to let them close for others to open.

  We have set goals we hope to meet in the long run. Making improvements in the dairy barn and then reinvesting in a Jersey dairy herd. We realize this won’t be in the near future.

  The little girls came in saying they were watching the barn swallows swoop down close to their heads. In the evening the swallows are really busy catching bugs in the air. They put on quite a show. The hummingbirds also got very bold this year. They got used to us coming and going close to their feeder. All too soon they will be leaving us again. Oh, how I enjoy the summer! To me fall is so sad. Yes, beautiful in its own way, but I love summer so much it’s always sad to see it end.

  Tomorrow I am going on a little outing. I really should stay at home and work, but I’ll get up really early and work as fast as I can so I can then go and relax. A longtime family friend from Kalamazoo, Michigan, will pick up my sisters and me, and we’ll go to Das Dutchman Essenhaus for lunch and a time of catching up with everybody. A special time for all of us. This lady and her husband were the second customers for my Grandmother Raber’s quilt business. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since that time. Thousands of quilts have been made, sold, and enjoyed. The business has been a huge blessing in our extended family for years. My grandmother was widowed at a young age, and this was her livelihood.

  This forenoon I went to town for groceries. That’s a challenge for me. I’m more stressed out and tired after getting groceries than if I’d stay home and worked really hard all day. I try to be a very careful shopper, and by the time I’m done my brain feels like mush.

  Colleen cleaned the bedroom walls, ceiling, furniture, and woodwork while I was gone. She also scrubbed the living room furniture. As ugly as it is, the only way we can tell it’s been cleaned is because we know it. But, hey, at least we have a house to live in. That’s a lot more than countless people can say. Keeps me humble.

  Hamburger Steak keeps growing bigger. I keep envisioning all
the packages of hamburger that will fill our freezer. He’s pretty good at intimidating me; I’m downright scared of him. I’ll be glad when he’s meat.

  One night after spending a very pleasant evening at Wayne’s brother Gaylord’s house, we came home and Sam the dog wasn’t around. That was unusual as he’s an extremely faithful welcoming committee. Usually he greets us as we turn into our driveway and proceeds to do a boogeyman search by all the buildings, ending up meeting us in front of the buggy shed as we stop, overjoyed to have us home again. But this time Sam did not come to meet us. The panic of losing him rose in our throats. I know he is just a dog, but he is our Sam. He is very much a part of our family.

  The calling and searching were on. We were met with silence. Is it okay to pray to God to save our Sam? I sure did! Wayne checked in the milk house, and one happy Sam greeted him—glad to be set free again. I’d been the one who forgot to let him out of the milk house after I was done with the chores. We all slept peacefully.