Agatha H. And the Clockwork Princess

by Phil Foglio; Kaja Foglio

  By tradition, Klaus should have taken the Captain’s cabin, but as always, he insisted on sleeping with the other officers. No one blamed him for this.

  Most Captains preferred to keep their quarters simple. Bangladesh, however, preferred a decorating style that Gilgamesh had once described as “Debauched Barbarian Princess.” He had meant it as an insult, but once Bangladesh had learned what “debauched” meant, she had worked hard to live up to it.

  The first surprise was the color. Everyone always expected red, but in fact, the room was painted a dark emerald green. This allowed any added red to really stand out. Which was a big help during clean-up. Most of the available wall space was taken up with mounted weapons, guns, knives, swords, all lovingly polished and oiled and ready to be grabbed. There was a great deal of ornamentation, every edge was filigreed with gold paint, and almost all of the fixtures were gold. The chains that held the hurricane lamps, the hooks that held clothing, every visible strut and rivet gleamed in the light. Those decorations that weren’t gold, were bones. They always turned out to be the bones of animals and monsters, but Klaus felt compelled to keep checking. Whatever they were, there were a lot of them. They had been cunningly fashioned into pieces of furniture, drinking vessels, chart holders, clothes hangers and lampshades.

  The curtains gathered away from the windows and across the Captain’s bunk were a luscious shimmering silk, with an intricately batiked design of skulls.

  As always, the sight of the place gave rise to mixed emotions in Klaus. There was no denying it was tasteless, gaudy and ostentatious, but it did stir fond memories of his long lost wife.

  While Bangladesh stowed her gear, Klaus continued. “Dr. Beetle’s notes were very well encrypted, but my team finally cracked them. Unfortunately, many of them were lost in an ill-conceived fire, but some of the material we were able to salvage was about the Heterodyne girl.

  “Barry and Agatha arrived in Beetleburg around twelve years ago. Shortly thereafter he disappeared, leaving her in the care of the constructs, Punch and Judy.”

  He sighed. “Other notes clearly show that Beetle believed that she would be able to control Slaver Wasps. He planned to use her. Against whom is unclear, probably myself.”

  Bangladesh leaned back against the table. “I thought you and Beetle were, I dunno, friends. Beetleburg’s listed as a friendly port. If you knew the Heterodynes so well, why didn’t Barry tell you any of this?”

  Klaus looked troubled. “That is the most disturbing part. Because of the fire, there is a lot that is only hinted at, but there’s one place where he mentions that Barry Heterodyne claimed that I worked for The Other.”

  Bangladesh snorted at the idea.

  Klaus shrugged. “But the notes don’t say why. This does explain why Beetle didn’t confide in me, or why Barry, Punch and Judy hid from me.” He paused. “You would think they’d have known me…” He startled Bangladesh by slamming his hand down upon the nearest table, causing the objects thereon to leap several centimeters into the air. “Confound that fool and his fire!” he growled.

  As a person who had set her share of fires, Bangladesh thought it prudent to change the subject. “So she can control Slaver Wasps? But when we had that outbreak on Castle Wulfenbach, people said they saw her fighting them with Gilgamesh.”

  Klaus allowed himself to be distracted. “One of the many mysteries that makes this so frustrating. One of the first revenants we uncovered was Mr. Rovainen.”

  Bangladesh hissed in a surprised breath. Mr. Rovainen had been one of Klaus’ chief assistants for over a decade.

  Klaus acknowledged her understanding of the situation with a nod. “He swore that young Agatha was The Other. That she was the one who gave him the order to activate the Hive Engine aboard Castle Wulfenbach, and that he was compelled to obey her.

  “Therefore I must conclude that even if she is not the original Other, The Other’s servants will see little difference. That alone makes her dangerous.”

  They headed toward the bridge. The corridors were filled with crew addressing last minute details.

  Bangladesh considered all that Klaus has said. “So why haven’t you announced this? You’re the one who claims that the troops fight better when they’re informed of the big picture.”

  Klaus looked embarrassed. “Because I want this girl alive, and even now, just the mention of The Other inspires fear and rage. Many people lost loved ones in the attacks. Few could properly control their emotions.” He paused, and continued slowly. “ Plus… I am not one hundred percent sure of her guilt. There are things here that do not feel right. I must treat her with utmost caution, I will bring her here, but I won’t falsely accuse her.”

  They passed through a reinforced doorway into the main control room of the airship. This was the largest room onboard, easily four meters tall and almost ten wide. It was surrounded on three sides by enormous floor to ceiling windows. The remaining wall space was covered with work stations and various gauges and read-outs. In the center of the floor were two enormous ship’s wheels, each manned by a burly airshipman.

  Behind them was a low platform, circled with brass rails containing a large, comfortable chair that had been bolted to the deck. As they entered, a lieutenant roared out “Captain on the bridge!” All of the personnel present snapped to attention, faced Captain DuPree and saluted. She returned the salute and dropped into her chair and attached the restraint webbing all ship-board chairs were equipped with.

  Bangladesh’s second-in-command, another “reformed” air pirate, stepped up and saluted before handing her the final check-list. Bangladesh didn’t bother to read it. “Are we ready to kill people, Lieutenant Karuna?”

  The Lieutenant shot a startled look at Klaus, who refused to rise to the bait, and continued to examine the view through the window. “Only if they refuse to listen to reason, Captain.” It was a measure of her fear of Klaus that Karuna was able to say this with a straight face.

  Bangladesh had selected her executive crew with care over the years. They were all ex-pirates, all ruthless enough that Klaus had determined that they had to be taken out, but smart enough to accept his offer of employment. They were all deadly fighters, and they were all women60.

  When they were again alone on the platform, Bangladesh leaned back and considered her employer carefully. “So why are you telling me? I don’t even try to control my emotions. Gives you wrinkles.”

  Klaus glanced at her unlined face. “You are in command. These are things that you need to be aware of.” He looked at the Captain seriously. “Besides—If I decide that she must die, I know that you won’t hesitate to kill her.”

  A little frisson of pleasure ran down Bangladesh’s spine. “Why Klaus, you sweet talking flatterer,” she purred. She mulled over the information. “So who else knows?”

  “Boris. The Bug Squad commanders, and the Deep Thinkers61.”

  Bangladesh nodded. “What about the Jägers? They’re good fighters, and wasps won’t—” she realized what she was suggesting. “I guess not. You might have to kill them.”

  Klaus nodded soberly. “I have considered this.” He looked at DuPree with a hard look in his eye. “They have served us loyally and well these last years. Could you do it? Kill them all? Just because of their misplaced loyalties?”

  Bangladesh sat back hard. “I don’t know. It would be really tough.” She shook her head and the admission was torn from between her gritted teeth. “I… I might need help.”

  Klaus rolled his eyes. “Keep the possibility in mind. I have taken pains, these last few months, to keep the Jägers busy in distant parts of the Empire. With any luck, this will be done with by the time they get wind of it.”

  At this point, a Bosun stepped out onto the “ready” platform that was attached to the nose of the ship and blew his whistle62, announcing that this ship was ready to leave. They were the first to do so, a fact that Bangladesh appreciated, and always rewarded on the first night out with an extra ration of schnapps.r />
  They had only beaten the other ships by a few minutes however, and the other whistles sounded forth, each ship determined not to be the last to go. Indeed, to Klaus’s ear, the last two whistles came simultaneously, a judgment that was verified by the grins that spontaneously broke out all over the control room. Simultaneous debarkation whistles were seen as a sign of good luck. Klaus smiled63.

  “Lieutenant Karuna, take us out.” Bangladesh’s First Officer acknowledged the order and within the minute, the airship was sliding out of the side of Castle Wulfenbach. They hovered in place as the great guide poles were retracted and the final lines were cast off.

  The remainder of the force, twelve ships in all, slid forth and began maneuvering away from the great mothership towards the rendezvous point a kilometer away.

  Bangladesh nodded in satisfaction as her crew performed. She turned back to Klaus as a new thought struck her. “What about Gil? He’ll have an opinion about this.” She rolled her eyes. “He always does.”

  Klaus agreed. “At the moment my son is busy repairing and reanimating Punch and Judy, that pair of constructs he thinks I don’t know about.”

  He settled back against the rail. “I don’t want to disturb him, or them, more than I already have. If he can establish a sufficient level of trust, they will answer many important questions. They raised this Agatha girl, after all. But it definitely would be best to resolve this before he is ready to interfere. He would find some of these revelations to be… disturbing.”

  Bangladesh smiled wickedly. “Awww, c’mon. Let me tell him.”

  Klaus cleared his throat. “I think not. At this point, all Gilgamesh knows is that I want her here because, as the last of the Heterodyne family, she is a threat to the peace.”

  He sighed. “That’s certainly true enough, and if a Heterodyne is all that she is, that’s fine. But if I have to destroy her—” Klaus paused. “Well, he’s very much in love with her. He is unlikely to be reasonable about all of this, no matter what I say, and I don’t think he’d let me.”

  Bangladesh blinked and then looked at Klaus incredulously. “You don’t think he’d let you? Gil?” She let out a burst of laughter that caused everyone in the control room to flinch. She spun about in her chair holding her stomach. “You’re fretting about Herr Sensitive? Klaus, please.”

  Klaus frowned in embarrassment. “I assure you, if he allied himself with The Other, it would be very bad indeed. Not just for Europa, but possibly for the entire world.”

  Bangladesh tried to control herself and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “Oh, I understand, Herr Baron. Heaven forbid I have to face a put-out Gilgamesh.” She broke into another series of giggles.

  Klaus studied her in annoyance, but because DuPree was, in her own way, a valuable asset, Klaus felt he had to make an effort to warn her. “You knew Gilgamesh in Paris. While there, he tried to hide everything important about himself. Even from me.” He eyed Bangladesh who tried to look innocent. It didn’t suit her. “The Gilgamesh you think you know is not the real Gilgamesh. Do not underestimate him.”

  Bangladesh nodded, and Klaus could almost see his words slide free from her far ear and sail off into space. Mentally, he shrugged. He had done his best, and if worst came to worst, the boy could always use another test.

  Lucrezia sat back and tapped the device that sat on the bench before her with a fingernail. The mechanism shivered, and began to spin gently.

  She sighed in satisfaction. “There? You see? Place this in the control node, and the main device will be working better than ever.”

  Tarvek leaned over her shoulder, a look of rapt attention on his face. “Amazing!” he breathed. “I had no idea! You must teach me more!”

  Lucrezia shrugged. The things she was revealing were, in her opinion, elementary advances to existing mechanisms. Tarvek’s reactions suggested that she had progressed more than she had realized.

  “Well I certainly had the time,” she conceded to herself. This was good, as it meant that she had more scraps to throw out that would keep the young Spark within her sphere of influence. To Lucrezia, it was patently obvious that Tarvek was an opportunist, one able to ideologically turn on a copper coin when circumstances warranted it, and she was well aware that she would command his loyalty only as long as she looked like she was going to win.

  Lucrezia found that she actually enjoyed this. It was a refreshing change from the blind obedience of the Geisterdamen and she realized that once she started dealing with the various powers of Europa, they would be more like Tarvek than not. She was well aware that when it came to dealing with people, she was woefully out of practice.

  She patted him gently on the cheek and smiled. He was also rather decorative. When she had the time, there were quite a few of the organic pleasures that she was determined to catch up on. “Of course, dear boy,” she assured him. “You’ll be ever so much more useful to me when…” she swayed, and Tarvek caught her by the shoulders.

  “My Lady? Are you well?”

  An alarmed Lucrezia shook her head. “I don’t know. I… I feel terrible.”

  Tarvek sat her down, fished his watch from his pocket and took her pulse. He frowned. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. Aside from a brief period of unconsciousness before you… ah… took over, this body has been without sleep for far longer than is healthy.” He closed the watch with a click. “You’re going to spoil it at this rate.”

  Lucrezia closed her eyes, and had to force them open again. “Oh, that tedious sleep business. I can’t say I missed that. So silly of me to forget.”

  Tarvek kept his face neutral, but he had to admit that these little snippets of information about Lucrezia’s previous state of existence were filling him with a burning curiosity, as well as a chilling sense of foreboding. What in the world had happened to her?

  Lucrezia snapped back to attention. “But I am relieved. I had almost imagined that this body was rejecting me. Or even that the girl herself was fighting back.”

  Tarvek looked at her sharply. “That’s impossible.” He paused. “Isn’t it?”

  Lucrezia regarded him and frowned. “Oh dear. I do so mistrust it when ‘impossible’ is one’s initial reaction to an idea.”

  She stared off into space for a minute. “Your sister—have they found her yet?”

  Now Tarvek started to look worried. “No, my Lady. Your priestesses have not returned with her since last you asked, and you’ve already sent them all, so—”

  Lucrezia felt a small jolt of fear. “When did I last ask?”

  Tarvek again consulted his watch. “Ah—eleven minutes ago.”

  Lucrezia swayed in her seat. “Oh dear. I think I do need a dose of sleep.” Then she sat up and delivered a brutal smack across her own face. “No! No, I must have this completed before Klaus’ terrier arrives. It’s such a perfect opportunity…” She turned to Tarvek. “Tell me, dear boy, can you mix me up some sort of stimulant?”

  Tarvek frowned. “It’s against my better judgment, medically speaking, but yes, of course, my Lady.”

  Lucrezia sighed in relief. “Good. Then I can—” and without any warning, she collapsed into a startled Tarvek’s arms.

  “My lady?”

  A small, girlish snore was her only response. Tarvek sighed, and with a grunt, he hoisted her up into his arms. “Marvelous,” he muttered. “Now what do I do with you?”

  A hand reached up and grabbed his collar. He looked down to see Agatha glaring back at him. “Start by telling me what the heck is going on!”

  Tarvek almost dropped her. “Agatha?”

  The girl stared at him. “Yes?”

  A wave of emotion crashed over Tarvek, catching him completely by surprise. He had accepted that Agatha was gone, gone forever, as he had been forced to accept so many other terrible losses in his life. Now that she was unexpectedly back, feelings that he had suppressed swept him up and threatened to overwhelm him. He hugged the surprised girl tightly to him, and whispered into her hai
r. “I thought you were gone.”

  Agatha realized that she took comfort from the feeling of Tarvek’s arms around her, and relaxed slightly. “I think I was… asleep?” She pulled back and looked Tarvek in the face. “I was so… so angry. It was hard to wake up, but I knew I had to keep trying—what’s been happening?”

  Tarvek didn’t even bother to calculate how this changed things. He gently set her down and answered honestly. “You’ve been… well, possessed, I suppose, by The Other.”

  Agatha nodded slowly. Things were making sense. “My mother. Yes, I still am.”

  Tarvek looked alarmed. “What? But—”

  “She’s still in my head… pushing.” A disconnected look crossed her face. “Maybe I’m still dreaming…”

  Tarvek grabbed her shoulders and gave her a shake. “No! This is no dream! You’re only awake because Lucrezia fell asleep. You’ve got to stay awake! I’ll help you!”

  Agatha looked at him dreamily. “I don’t think I can. It’s so hard to think. Oh! Yes…”

  With that she closed her eyes and began to hum a bizarre little atonal drone. A realization struck Tarvek that sent a shiver down his spine. “That’s… you’re heterodyning64,” he whispered. “It’s real? It works?”

  Agatha’s eyes snapped open. They were clear now. “It helps me think.” She sagged. “But I can’t do it forever.”

  At that moment, Agatha’s little pocket clank stepped forward and chimed twice. Agatha looked at it and an idea burst into her head. “Yes! That would do it!” She scooped up the little device and gently twisted the little stem at the top. “Oh, you’re wonderful!” The little clank reveled in the praise.

  Agatha swayed, and Tarvek caught her. “My Lady?”

  Agatha looked at him from the corner of her eye. “My Lady now, is it?”