Stuck With You

by Carla Burgess

  Daniel glanced at his watch. ‘Give us five minutes to have a shower and then I’ll take you in my truck.’ He took a swig of tea and stood up.

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Yep. You staying here or coming through to the bedroom?’ He got to his feet and looked down at me.

  ‘I’ll stay here with Muffin.’ I smiled up at him and reached for my tea. Was I imagining it or did he look disappointed? I felt a bit disappointed myself. It was for the best though. I sipped my tea, and tried not to think of Daniel naked in the shower. Biting my lip, I reached for my phone and texted Alex instead, telling him I’d be round to collect the stuff shortly. Five minutes later, he texted back an OK. I stared at the unfriendly capital letters. It was as though we were strangers, not ex-lovers who’d shared a flat for almost two years. Setting my phone on the side, I stroked Muffin’s silky ears and spoke to him softly.

  Daniel reappeared about ten minutes later with damp hair and smelling of body spray. His T-shirt clung damply to his back, and my stomach tightened.

  ‘Are you ready?’ he asked, pushing his feet into his trainers.

  ‘Yes.’ I set Muffin down on the floor and stood up. ‘I’ve texted him to say I’m coming.’

  Daniel nodded and grabbed his keys from the side and I followed him outside to his truck.

  ‘Thank you for doing this,’ I said, buckling up my seatbelt. His truck had an earthy smell about it and the back seat was full of tools.

  ‘Like I said, it’s not a problem. Where am I going anyway?’

  ‘It’s not far. Just the flats by the racecourse.’

  ‘Oh, okay then.’ Daniel reversed off the drive and drove off down the road. I kept watching his hands on the steering wheel, the guides in his forearms knotting when he shifted gear. ‘So, where’s Alex moving to? Did he say?’

  ‘No. The lease is up in a few weeks so he said he’s going to move in with his new woman.’

  Daniel pulled a face. ‘That’s fast. Is he some kind of smooth lady-killer then?’

  ‘Not really,’ I muttered, looking sulkily out of the window. ‘I find it hard to believe he found another woman at all. He was hardly interested in me.’ I winced. That sounded awful.

  Daniel pulled up at a red light and looked across at me, frowning. Avoiding his gaze, I looked out of the window instead.

  ‘So, how do you feel about him moving in with someone else then?’ he asked, shifting into gear and pulling away as the lights changed to green.

  I shrugged. ‘Offended, mostly. But not because I still want to be with him. I’m not jealous. She’s welcome to him, especially after how unpleasant he was last night. I just can’t shake the feeling that I’ve been played for a fool, somehow. The timing’s too perfect. You know, because the lease on the flat is up in the next couple of weeks? It feels like he planned it. I don’t know, I’m probably overthinking it.’ I leaned forward and pointed to a road coming up on the right-hand side. ‘Here we go, turn right here. Then if you drive to the end, there’s some parking spaces.’

  Daniel parked up and undid his seatbelt slowly. ‘So what was it like living with him? Were you just having sex and not talking?’

  ‘We weren’t even having sex in the end.’

  Daniel looked startled. ‘Did you not find that strange?’

  ‘Yeah, I suppose,’ I shrugged. I didn’t really want to get into the details of my sex life with Daniel of all people. It was only the past couple of months that it had got to the point where we never touched each other at all. It felt shameful to admit that, whenever I had made a move on Alex, he hadn’t been interested at all. Opening the truck door, I jumped down onto the tarmac and looked up at the black clouds that had suddenly blocked out the sun. ‘Why don’t you wait here, while I go and see how much stuff there is?’ I suggested, suddenly nervous about taking him up to the flat.

  ‘No. I’ll come with you.’

  ‘Oh, but I don’t want you to feel awkward or anything.’

  ‘I won’t feel awkward, Elena. Don’t you worry about me.’ He gave me a tight smile and slammed the truck door.

  We walked into the building and took the lift to the second floor. I walked down the hallway and hesitated in front of my old flat’s front door. It all smelt so familiar, but somehow it didn’t smell like home. Instead it had the sharp tang of loneliness and displacement. How long had I been feeling like that without realising it? The key was in my hand, but I knocked instead of using it. I heard footsteps approaching and the door opened to reveal Alex: tall, dark and handsome, but, most of all, unsmiling.

  ‘Ah, you’re on time for once. Well done.’

  ‘Hello, Alex. Nice to see you too,’ I said, sarcastically. ‘This is Daniel, by the way. He’s come to give me a hand but I can’t think there can be that much that’s still mine…’ My voice trailed off as I spotted a large mound of stuff piled up by the sofa. ‘Surely that can’t be for me?’ I said, walking into the flat and looking at it in dismay. ‘What am I meant to do with all of this? I can’t fit it in my room at home.’

  ‘I don’t know, do I? Give it to a charity shop, for all I care. I just know I don’t want it either. I don’t see why I should be lumbered with clearing everything from the flat. You lived here too, remember?’ Alex stomped over to the kitchen and started pulling things out of a cupboard.

  I sighed and looked at Daniel. He shrugged a shoulder. ‘There’s room in the truck. It’s no bother.’

  I took hold of a bin bag, noticing for the first time that the flat was virtually empty already.

  ‘Are you moving already?’ I asked. ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘Not far.’ Alex glanced at Daniel, tight-lipped and suspicious. Daniel grabbed another bin bag. ‘I’ll start taking these down,’ he said, and disappeared into the hallway.

  ‘That was fast,’ Alex said as soon as he’d gone. ‘How long have you been seeing him then?’

  I blinked. ‘Daniel’s a friend.’

  ‘Like I believe that,’ Alex scoffed. ‘At least I was honest and told you I was seeing someone else. No wonder you couldn’t get out of here fast enough.’

  I looked around at the empty corners of the flat with a bitter smile. ‘Oh yeah, you’re really honest, aren’t you? Do you really expect me to believe you didn’t time this so you didn’t have to renew the lease on the flat?’

  Alex shrugged. ‘I can’t deny it worked out well.’

  I rolled my eyes. ‘Well, as it happens, it worked out well for me too. I never realised how bloody miserable I was until this week. I mean, you were never here, and when you were, you hardly spoke to me.’ I bent to lift another bag. ‘So, has she got a nice house, this woman? Is that why you’re leaving this flat? I mean, you’ve lived here for years. Way before me.’

  He stared at me for a moment as though he didn’t trust me. ‘If you must know, I’ve bought my own house.’

  I gaped at him. ‘With this other woman?’

  ‘No, it’s in my own name.’

  ‘When did you do that?’ I was flabbergasted.

  He hesitated. ‘It started going through about six months ago.’

  ‘Six months ago?’ I shook my head and looked down at the carpet. There was a dark stain on it from where I’d once knocked over a glass of red wine. I’d covered it with a rug, but now that had gone the stain was exposed. ‘Right. So, tell me, Alex: are you still claiming to be honest now? That’s a pretty massive thing to keep to yourself, don’t you think?’

  ‘Why would I tell you? It doesn’t involve you.’

  ‘Exactly. You’ve known for all that time that you didn’t want to be with me. Why didn’t you end it?’

  ‘Because I needed your help with the bills. Buying a house is an expensive business.’

  I stared at him, my stomach churning in disgust. How had I ever lived with this person? Taking the bin bag, I carried it out into the corridor. Daniel was already on his way back up the stairs. He ducked back into the flat an
d grabbed another two bags.

  ‘Shall we get the lift this time?’ I said. My legs were feeling weak and shaky after hearing Alex’s revelation.

  ‘I’m a bit wary of getting lifts with you,’ he said with a grin. ‘I think you might be jinxed.’

  ‘Maybe you’re jinxed, more like.’ I tried to smile but my face wouldn’t work. I was infuriated by Alex. Buying a house behind my back felt worse than him meeting someone new. It was so cold and premeditated.

  The doors pinged open and Daniel winked at me. ‘Thank goodness for that.’

  It had started to rain outside. Big, fat drops that stung my face. I felt bad for Daniel, who was only wearing a T-shirt, but he didn’t seem to notice it. We ran back inside and up to the flat. It would only take another couple of trips before we were done. Alex stayed over at the far side of the room, staring out of the window. He didn’t even look at us until we were taking the very last of the stuff.

  ‘I’ll put the key on the table then,’ I said, placing it down with a click. ‘Goodbye, Alex. Take care of yourself.’

  He turned and looked at me, his mouth twisted with sarcasm. ‘Goodbye, Elena. Enjoy the rest of your very dull life.’

  I was momentarily stunned, but recovered enough to say, ‘Thank you. But I’m sure it will be less dull without you in it,’ and then, picking up the bag by my feet, I bustled out and slammed the door.

  ‘What a bastard!’ Daniel said. ‘You lived with him? Oh my God, Elena!’

  I made it into the lift before I burst into tears. There was no sorrow for the loss of the relationship; I was just furious. Daniel dropped the bags he was holding and pulled me close against his chest. But there were only a few seconds before the doors pinged open at the bottom. ‘I’m okay,’ I said, swiping angrily at my face with my sleeve. ‘Just give me a minute.’ Dragging the bags out, I paused outside the lift and blew my runny nose. Daniel hovered next to me, obviously uncertain about what to do. Taking a deep breath, I gave him a reassuring smile and picked up the bags. ‘Come on then. Let’s go.’

  I climbed into his truck and slammed the door. Daniel jumped in next to me and the truck roared into life.

  ‘Do you want to go somewhere?’ Daniel asked. ‘For a drive?’

  I shrugged. My throat seemed to have closed up so I couldn’t speak.

  Daniel reversed out of the parking space and drove out of the car park. He glanced across at me again and then took the road towards North Wales. The rain got heavier and the windscreen wipers slapped back and forwards across the glass. Daniel put the radio on and then just drove, while I stared out of the window, chewing my thumbnail with silent tears dribbling down my face. The landscape changed from city to countryside and the grey clouds lifted to reveal blue skies. Daniel pulled over into a layby where the road overlooked the river.

  ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ he asked. His voice was quiet and careful and I felt bad that I was crying in front of him when he’d been so helpful.

  ‘Not really, he’s not worth talking about,’ I said, my voice thick with tears. I wiped my face with a tissue and blew my nose. ‘I’m just so angry with him.’

  ‘I’m not a violent person,’ Daniel said at last, ‘but I really wanted to punch him on your behalf.’

  ‘That wouldn’t solve anything, would it?’

  ‘Maybe not, but at least I’d have the satisfaction of hearing his nose crunch beneath my fist.’

  ‘Daniel!’ I gave him a watery smile and he laughed and climbed out of the truck. Walking round, he sat on the bonnet and stared up at the sky. Taking a couple of deep breaths, I wiped my face once more and went to join him. The cool wind whispered in the trees and made goosebumps rise on my arms.

  ‘He bought a house,’ I said. ‘Without telling me.’

  Daniel looked at me and frowned. ‘With this new woman?’

  I shrugged. ‘He said it was just in his name, but I have no idea and I don’t really care anyway. She’s more than welcome to him. It’s just the deceit, you know? I can’t believe he bought a house and didn’t tell me.’

  ‘Is buying a house something you were looking to do together in the future?’

  ‘I don’t think so. It’s not the house, it’s the fact he wasn’t straight with me. If he’d told me he was looking to buy, but not with me, then fine. I might have been able to keep the flat on my own or something.’ I shook my head. ‘I don’t know. Everything feels so wrong. Buying a house behind my back just feels so premeditated and conniving; more so than him seeing another woman actually. Does that sound mad?’

  ‘He’s an arsehole,’ Daniel said. ‘I hope you don’t think we’re all like him.’ He shifted slightly and his feet crunched on the gravel. ‘I’m not like that.’

  ‘I know you’re not.’

  A heron swooped down from the trees across the river and stood on the opposite bank, long-legged and gawky. We watched as it stabbed at the water with it beak.

  ‘Can I just ask though, why didn’t you leave him sooner?’

  I stared miserably up at the tops of the trees. ‘I don’t know how I stayed so long. I feel stupid because I made excuses for him, being stressed at work and stuff like that. He was away a lot too, and I quite liked being on my own in the flat. We lived separate lives and I didn’t depend on him to make me happy.’ I sniffed. ‘Just as well really.’

  Daniel looked troubled. ‘But I still don’t know how you lived like that.’

  ‘It wasn’t a sudden change, so I just adapted.’ I frowned. It was hard for me to understand, let alone anyone else. ‘And he was never very affectionate, even in the beginning, so I didn’t notice when the affection stopped because I suppose it was me who stopped it. So, I only have myself to blame for that.’

  ‘Are you sure he isn’t gay?’ Daniel asked, and then laughed. ‘I’m very affectionate, if that’s any consolation.’

  I glanced at him and smiled. ‘Are you?’

  ‘I am.’ He put his arm out and I moved closer so he could wrap it around my shoulders. I felt better almost instantly and we sat for a while, watching the bird watching the river. A coach thundered past, shaking Daniel’s truck.

  ‘I suppose we ought to be getting back for lunch,’ I said, reluctantly pulling away. ‘Mum said it would be ready for two.’

  ‘Okay.’

  We climbed back into the truck and Daniel drove us back to my parents’ house. It was funny how comfortable I felt with him all of a sudden. ‘What are you doing later?’ he asked as we pulled up outside my mum and dad’s house. ‘Do you fancy coming to the cinema?’

  ‘What do you want to see?’

  He shrugged. ‘There’s that new Avengers film.’

  I thought for a moment. ‘Is Thor in it?’

  He smiled. ‘Might be.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘I should have brought your mum some flowers,’ Daniel muttered in my ear as he carried two bin bags full of stuff into my mum and dad’s hallway. The house smelt of roast beef and my stomach rumbled.

  ‘Don’t be silly. This is to thank you for the hedge.’

  ‘What’s all this?’ asked Mum, staring at the bin bags.

  ‘The stuff from Alex. I don’t even know what’s in them.’

  Mum rolled her eyes.

  ‘Don’t worry, I’ll take them to the charity shop as soon as I’ve had a look through them. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing I actually need.’

  ‘Well, you might do if you move out again.’ Mum sniffed, peering at a scatter cushion that was peeking out of the bag.

  I shrugged. ‘Do you want me to do anything, Mum?’

  ‘No, I’m all sorted. In fact, I’m just about to dish it up if you want to come and sit at the table.’

  My dad came in through the back door.

  ‘Oh! It’s young Daniel!’ he said, going to the sink to wash his hands.

  ‘Hello, Mr Green.’

  ‘Call me Derek.’

  Daniel smiled and
sat down at the table. It was already laid with the best tablecloth and cutlery. ‘Have you been gardening?’

  ‘Just picking out some seedlings in my greenhouse.’

  ‘I was mowing the lawn when Elena came walking past.’

  ‘Stop you from working, did she? That’s women for you! Always in the way.’

  ‘Oi you! Flaming cheek.’ Mum whacked him with her oven glove and Dad made a big display of rubbing his arm. He grinned and came to sit down.

  ‘Here, Mum, let me pass them out,’ I said, getting up from my chair and going to the worktop.’

  ‘Okay, well, that’s Daniel’s there and that one’s your dad’s.’

  I wasn’t sure what the difference between the two dinners was – they looked exactly the same – but I passed them out dutifully. Mum brought my plate to the table and we all sat down to eat.

  ‘Mmm, this is lovely,’ Daniel said, appreciatively.

  Mum smiled. ‘Oh, I nearly forgot, Andrew phoned earlier.’

  ‘Did he? Is he okay?’

  Mum nodded. ‘Yes, he’s fine. He’s moving on to New Zealand in the next few days. Goodness knows why he doesn’t just come home though. He’s been gone long enough.’

  ‘Daniel went travelling. Didn’t you, Daniel?’

  Daniel nodded as he swallowed his mouthful of food. ‘Yes, it was good.’

  ‘How long did you go for?’

  ‘A year. I had to cut it short because my dad was ill.’

  ‘Oh no, is okay now?’

  ‘Yes, he’s okay, thank you. He had a heart attack so has to be careful what he eats and what he does, but other than that, he seems all right. It was a big scare though. He retired just after. I think his job was getting stressful.’

  ‘Oh dear. What did he do?’

  ‘He was an architect.’

  ‘Very impressive. Did you not fancy following in his footsteps?’

  Daniel shook his head. ‘Not really. I’m more the outdoorsy type. Although I did want to be a rock star at one point. I play guitar and thought I’d hit the big time when I was in the school band.’

  Mum laughed. ‘Elena used to talk about the band at school. She was quite a fan, as I recall.’