Irreparably Broken

by K J Bell

  I shrug.

  “You wanna talk about it?”

  I shake my head. “If I tell you, it won’t come true.”

  “I’m not asking what you wished for. I’m asking about why the wish is needed. Did you and Brady have a fight?”

  I sigh and then decide to answer because I need to vent to someone. “Not exactly. He just can’t get over Vanessa.” I nearly let what happened to Vanessa slip. I caught myself at the last second.

  “Do you think he still loves her?”

  I smile warmly at him. He’s only trying to help. Of course Brady still loves her, just not in the way Tug assumes he does. “Can we not talk about Brady?”

  He drops it and rolls onto his back. We stare into the night sky. I glance at Tug and realize I haven’t laughed or smiled this much in more than three weeks. Although she tries every day, not even Liv has been able to shake me from my funk. In one day, without even trying, Tug has me feeling like my old self. Or at least close to it.

  The fire dies, and I start to get cold. Tug pats his chest, and I slide over next to him and huddle in close. His warm arm folds around me, and I let him hold me. It’s more intimate than I should be with him, but it’s nice. Before long, my eyelids grow heavy, and I fall asleep in Tug’s arms.

  Strange voices interrupt my sleep. I open my eyes to find two police officers standing above me. I have no idea what time it is, but it’s still dark. I nudge Tug. He mumbles but doesn’t wake up. One of the officers laughs. “Hey, you two can’t sleep on the beach.”

  “I’m so sorry, officer. We must have dozed off. We’ll be leaving now,” I explain.

  The other officer is not as friendly. “Have you been drinking?”

  I shake my head, rubbing my eyes. “No. We were just hanging out and fell asleep.”

  I nudge Tug again, and this time he bolts up. “I’m up. I’m up.”

  “Tug, we fell asleep. Get up – we have to go now.”

  “Huh?” He’s groggy and hasn’t noticed the policemen in front of us yet.

  The nicer of the two officers tells us to be safe, and they leave. Tug and I laugh and gather our things. I pull my cell out of my pocket and check the time. It’s after four. Tug rolls up the blanket and sets it in the empty crate. He yawns and smiles.

  This is my chance to tease him for all of the times over the years he’s given me shit. “One night with you, Tug, and I nearly get arrested. I’d rather swim in a pool of vomit than ever go out with you again.”

  “Aw, come on, don’t say that. This wasn’t my fault.”

  He fell for it. I burst out laughing, and he shakes his head.

  “You’re gonna pay for that one.”

  I smile. “I’m looking forward to it.”

  Brady

  The last few days could not have gone by more slowly. Rodrigo and I have been busy working on the new gym, but my thoughts always drift to Tori. Once I made up my mind to tell her everything and beg her to forgive me, she’s all I’ve been able to think about. She owns me, heart and soul, and I was a fool to think I could escape my feelings for her or ignore them somehow.

  I can’t wait for this day to end so I can go home. That’s something I never thought I’d find myself looking forward to.

  Chapter 29

  Tori

  The last few of days could not have gone by faster. Tug and I have been practically inseparable. Whatever free time we have, we spend together. We walk on the beach, share meals, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Tug is sweet, thoughtful, and, as always, funny. He makes me laugh, and, more importantly, he makes me feel good. He’s even softening his stance on country music.

  What started out as hanging out with Tug to distract me from thinking about Brady has quickly become something more. Tug makes me feel beautiful and confident. Getting over Brady is easier with Tug around. Part of me feels guilty. Am I’m just using Tug? I’m still uncertain if my feelings for him are anything more than that of a sibling. I haven’t given him any reason to think differently. He must sense it, though, because he hasn’t made any move in that direction with me, either. While our relationship status may be weak, our friendship is strong, and being with him definitely helps mask my heartache.

  I’m working today, and Tug is picking me up for dinner when my shift is over. I plan to ask him where he thinks things are going with us. I’m going to be totally honest with him about my feelings, both for him and for Brady.

  I grab my car keys and decide to eat a muffin when I get to work. This is how I go about avoiding the parental units of the household. As the kitchen is the one room where I usually bump into them, I do my best to steer clear of it. Ever since my heated conversation with Sheila, I’ve considered packing up and moving out. I haven’t. It would raise suspicion with both Liv and Tug. I refuse to let her bully me. So I stay and hope Sheila is smart enough not to confront me again. Liv and Tug should know the truth, but it’s not mine to tell, and I won’t be the one to bring down the curtain and reveal who their parents are. I think it’s because I fear in the end Sheila will twist things around and somehow turn the messenger into the one they should be angry with.

  When I arrive at the Bean, I’m early so I grab a bagel and coffee. Liv and Tyler are at a table, and I take a seat next to Liv. I bite into the bagel, and talk with my mouth full. “Hey, stranger.”

  Tyler says hello and excuses himself to use the restroom. Liv rests her head on my shoulder. “I suck. I’m a lousy friend.”

  She’s referring to her spending so much time with Tyler, and I smile. “It’s fine, Liv. I get it.”

  She sits up, suddenly perky again. “I’m so glad you said that, because the sex is amazing. I don’t think I’ll be sleeping in my own bed for a while.”

  “Way too much information. But seriously, it’s fine. I know you love me. Plus, I do remember a time when Jake and I first started dating, and I ignored you for a few months.”

  “That’s right.” She smiles and sucks on her straw. “Payback’s a bitch.”

  I rise from the table, then lean over and kiss her on the head. “I love you, girly, but I gotta work. I’ll see you later.”

  Liv and Tyler leave shortly after my shift begins. They’re cute together, and I wonder how long it will last. Knowing Liv, not much longer. Once the honeymoon phase is over, she usually moves on.

  Harrison clocks in a few minutes after me. He seems off today, and I don’t ask about it. I’m afraid he wants to discuss Brady again, and I’m not up for rehashing how much Harrison dislikes him.

  He stands next to me, and I feel him watching me. To ignore him, I pick up straw wrappers and wipe down the bar.

  “Have you heard from him?”

  I roll my eyes. “I assume you mean Brady, and no, I have not.” I wish I had.

  “So you just moved on to his brother to fill the void?” he blurts out bitterly.

  That stings. It also pisses me off and I clench my teeth. Who the hell does he think he is? “I don’t see how that’s any of your goddamn business. But for your information, Tug and I are just friends.” I turn to walk away, but he catches my arm.

  “Good, because you deserve better than either of them can give you.” He lets go of my arm and looks at me angrily.

  “By ‘better’ I suppose you mean you? Did you ever think for a minute, Harrison, that you don’t know either one of them enough to judge them?”

  “All of them are spoiled rotten and think they walk on water. They all need to be knocked down a peg, if you ask me.”

  Where is this coming from? I’m so furious with him, I can’t even look at him. “How dare you talk about them that way! They’re family to me, Harrison. Liv and I have been best friends our entire lives.”

  He inches into my space. “You’re better than them, Tori, and if you hang around long enough, you’ll either end up hurt or dead.”

  “That’s it! I already told you there is no way in hell Brady had anything to do with Vanessa’s death, other than being the unfortunat
e driver of a bike that found itself in the path of a bird. Get over it, Harrison!” I snap, untying my apron and throwing it on the counter. “Tell Ted he can find a new barista. I quit.”

  “Wait, Tori,” he shouts from behind me. “Look, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s too late for apologies, Harrison. You should get some help with your grief.” I’m cool as a cucumber, and I walk out through the door. Wow! That felt amazing.

  Tug is in the kitchen when I get home. He’s sitting on the island, sucking on orange slices. His brown eyes brighten, and he hops off the island when I enter. “I guess you finally spilled a drink on someone important and Ted had to fire you.”

  I laugh at his assumption and shrug. “I quit, actually.”

  Tug’s head whips around in confusion.

  I wait for him to ask why, but he doesn’t. He watches me with inquisitiveness as I try to stay calm. I fail miserably. “Harrison Myers is an asshole!”

  He smiles. “Guess that means you won’t be dating him again?”

  I growl out frustration. “I’d rather go upstairs and lick my razor than ever look at him again.”

  “I didn’t want to be the one to tell you, but I’m glad you finally figured it out.” He laughs.

  I wish I could tell Tug everything. “Seriously, he has issues with your family.”

  He shrugs. “Remember when I went out with Ashlynn?”

  I nod.

  “They’d gone out a couple of times. He was pissed when we got together. I don’t think he’s ever gotten over it.” If Tug only knew Harrison’s problem was about losing so much more than his high school crush to one of the Hunter boys.

  I reach around Tug to get an apple from the basket behind him. He turns his head, and our noses practically touch. He licks his lips, and I lick mine. Warm breath hits me when he asks, “Are we still on for dinner tonight?”

  I quickly grab the apple and step away, taking a bite. Thank God he asked me a question. We were about to cross a line, embarking on something neither of us is prepared for. Something serious. He wanted to kiss me, and I’m not sure I would have stopped him. An undeniable little buzz remains in the air between us. His knowing eyes meet mine, and I remember he asked me if we were still on for dinner. I reply, “Definitely. Let me clean up a bit, and then we can head out.”

  “Yes’m, Miss Tori, I’ll be here.”

  Brady

  It’s a little after five when I toss my bag into the back of my truck. In just over an hour I’ll see her beautiful face, apologize, and tell her everything. God, I’ve missed her. After trying to talk myself out of it all day, I think about her expression when she promised to forgive me when I screwed things up. At this point, I hope I’m not too late, that she’s not too crushed by my leaving to forgive me.

  Crossing the border doesn’t take long. Butterflies are dancing around in my gut. What if she can’t forgive me? Worse, what if she’s moved on? What if Harrison swooped in and helped her through everything? Fuck, I hadn’t considered that. Harrison is a decent guy, but God help him, or anyone else, if they are trying to move in on her. She belongs to me. I am an asshole and I have no right to feel this way. But she’s mine, and I will fight tooth and nail for her.

  Her Jeep is not in the driveway, but Liv’s car is. I park behind her, and go inside hoping that Liv might know where I can find Tori.

  Liv’s on the sofa, lying in Tyler’s lap. I guess the two of them are working out. I’m happy for my sister. Tyler is a stand-up guy, though I’ll still kick his ass if he hurts Liv. Tyler straightens up and pushes Liv off him when I come through the door.

  Chuckling, I say, “It’s cool. Liv’s an adult.”

  Liv jumps off the couch and wraps me in a hug while Tyler responds, “I know, man, but I have a sister, and I wouldn’t want to walk in on that.”

  With Liv still attached to me, I shake Tyler’s hand. “Miss me, sis?”

  She pulls away from me, and smacks me on the arm. “Yes, I missed you, and I was worried sick. You haven’t returned any of my calls. Where the hell did you go?”

  I’d spoken with my mother after the night Harrison confronted me. Liv and Tug don’t have any idea what went down on the beach. Telling her I was blowing off steam would lead to questions. “I went to T.J. to hang out with some friends for a while.” It's not really a lie, I think. I was with friends.

  “And they don’t have phones in T.J.?” she barks at me. My little sis is feisty as ever.

  “Yes, they have phones, and I should have called. I’m sorry.”

  Tyler leaves us and goes into the kitchen. He must have decided this was a family moment.

  “Do you know where Tori is?”

  “No. Harrison said she quit the Bean today, but she wasn’t home when I got here.”

  “Do you have any idea where she might have gone? I need to see her.”

  Liv clamps her hands tight on her hips and glares at me. She’s about to let me have it. I deserve it. “Brady, I love you, but if you’re not here to grovel at her feet, then you need to leave, now.”

  Tori has obviously filled Liv in on our relationship, and by the look on my sister’s face she is just as angry with my disappearing act as Tori probably is. “I guess she’s pretty upset with me, huh?”

  “Upset? Are you kidding me, Brady? She’s devastated.” Liv is talking with her hands. She only does this when she’s angry. “You know, you weren’t around after she and Jake broke up. Tori cried for days on end. She was sad all the time, but that was nothing in comparison to you leaving her. At least back then, underneath it all, she was still Tori and she knew in her heart that Jake was an asshole."

  I run my hand up and down the back of my head. I can’t tell if it’s as bad as Liv says or if she’s being overly dramatic. “I didn’t think it would be that hard for her. I was trying to do the right thing.”

  Liv slaps my chest. “God, you’re clueless, Brady. Honestly, before Tug started dragging her out of the house, I didn’t even recognize her.”

  I interrupt her. “Wait. What? She’s been hanging out with Tug? Why?”

  “It doesn’t matter why. Thanks to him, she’s finally coming around. It was bad. She lost at least ten pounds, and if she wasn’t working, she never got out of bed. It went on for weeks. You can’t put her through that again, Brady. It’s not right. If she’s just one of your playthings, then let her go.”

  I shake my head and frown at Liv, her insinuation all wrong. Is that what Tori thinks? That she’s not any different from the other girls I’ve been with. I hope not. “It’s not like that with her. I promise. I fucking love her, Liv. I convinced myself she’d be better off without me.”

  “You were wrong, Brady. She’s a mess without you. She’s slowly getting better though, so if you’re not serious, then I mean it, you need to leave.”

  What the fuck? Why does she keep saying that? I grab Liv’s arms and give her a little shake. “I’m dead fucking serious, Liv. I can’t lose her. Honestly, not a minute has gone by that I have thought about her. If you know where she might be, you have to tell me, please.”

  “Oh, my God, Brady. You are serious. I don’t know where she is, but if I had to guess, I’d say she and Tug are down by the pier.”

  Chapter 30

  Tori

  Tug and I have dinner in a small restaurant near the pier. They have the biggest and most delicious burritos in all of Southern California. I put mine on a plate, politely cutting small pieces with a knife and fork. Tug is sitting across from me with both of his hands folded around his. He’s scarfing it down, and I laugh when he actually moans.

  He looks up, grinning from behind his burrito. “It’s a damn good burrito,” he says, the words garbled by a mouth full of food.

  I roll my eyes and sip my drink.

  After we finish eating, Tug leans back and rubs his belly. He lets out a long, throaty burp and grins. I might have to take back my thought that he’s adorable.

  I laugh, and then say, “Uh, gross!”


  He smiles and shrugs. “Oh, come on. You’ve been known to have air leave your body now and again.”

  “Uh, I’m a lady, thank you,” I say, acting as though I’m appalled.

  “Yeah, it was real ladylike when you farted that time doing yoga with Liv in the living room. Nothing says ‘lady’ quite like releasing flatulence during the downward dog.”

  “Oh, my God, Tug. I could kill you right now.” If I weren’t laughing so hard at the memory, I would kill him. “That’s what you get, though. You were only in the room so you could check out my ass anyway.”

  “Yeah, that’s true,” he admits. We both laugh.

  When we leave the restaurant, we walk toward the pier. This has become our routine the last few days; after every meal together, we turn that way as if by instinct. Tug holds my hand, and his touch brings on an emotional response. I never thought of Tug as anything more than Liv’s brother, but my hand in his feels like it belongs there. Once we reach the halfway mark, we stop, lean against the railing, and stare out over the water.

  Tug sighs. He feels it, too – the tension, the questions. Fear keeps me quiet, afraid I’ll break his heart. Scared if I say the wrong thing, I’ll lose his friendship. Maybe I deserve to.

  Unsteady breaths escape me, but I have to ask. “Tug, what exactly are we doing?”

  “Looking at the ocean,” he answers mockingly.

  Did I expect anything less? I smack him in the arm. “You know what I mean.” My hand moves back and forth between the two of us. “This…I adore you, Tug…but…I…uh…”

  Tug interrupts, his shoulder softly bumping mine. “You’re still in love with Brady.”

  My heart shrivels, but instead of answering him, which he deserves, I hang my head. It hurts too much to admit out loud.

  Tug lifts my chin with his index finger, and a tear rolls down my cheek. “Hey, don’t cry. I’ve known all along that you were in love him, silly girl. He has strong feelings for you, too, even if he’s too chickenshit to admit it.”

  “Honestly, I’m confused. I have feelings for you, too, but I feel like things with Brady were left unfinished. I don’t want to hurt you.”